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Triple H, October 2011:

“When I grew up, I hated Hogan. I thought he was terrible and didn’t like to watch him. I was like Punk in a way. I liked the Steamboats and Flairs and the ones that could go. Would I be right in saying that Hogan was the wrong guy to go with, and they should’ve changed directions and gone with Steamboat because he was the better wrestler? Ludicrous.” - Triple H. October, 2011.
Showing posts with label battle royal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label battle royal. Show all posts

Battle Royal 12: Road to Summer Slam 2012-2

Saturday, May 18, 2013


Part 1 is here.

Battle Royal time – stip reminder; winner is the number one contender; last 8 eliminated go into the IC tournament; whomever eliminates first member of Young Money gets the tag title shot.
No one has ever won twice. 

Place your bets.
1.      Tyson Kidd (w/Michael Cole)

2.      PAC

At Mania, Kidd was paired with Gabriel and given Cole as a mouthpiece (Gabriel was the only Empire member left standing).  Reasonable that Cole, after a year with Douchebags, might start to feel his oats a little bit, given his success (and, except for Nemeth) Regal’s lack thereof at Mania.  As Underground starts to disperse over the summer, part of that is Cole taking shots at Empire, Kidd goes along with them – Gabriel largely says nothing. 

PAC, in a mask, debuted in a spot at Mania as GDI’s latest member.  I’m likely to be willing to change his name if he ever works real world, but I don’t like their current choice.  Largely, announce calls him The Man Gravity Forgot, giving room for a name change. 

You’d like 2 minutes of Kidd/Pac, right?

3.      Mistico

This is a surprise entrant; Mistico isn’t on the roster; he lost to Nemeth a year ago in a title match, got beaten down by Underground and went back to Mexico – this return shows how much everyone in the world wants to be in the battle royal with so many title implications.  They get to do spots for two minutes. 

4.      Tyler Black

As mentioned at Mania, Black and Ambrose emerge afterward as the full blown Shield.  The gear, the promos, they don’t attack Underground, it’s not that Underground, prior to right now, has turned on each other at all, there’s just tension and increasing distance.  Shield does their “we fight injustice” rap – which Regal doesn’t understand at all – Black and Kidd don’t work together here, but neither do they work against each other.  Everything should stay fast paced. 

5.      Yoshi Tatsu

Tatsu comes in instantly on PAC’s side, the two of them trying to eliminate Kidd and Mistico and Black battle.  I'm valuing quickness here above all in this stage. 

6.      Kofi Kingston

Kingston and Killings retook at Mania; Killings is still amnesiac crazy person; he tweets based on events from 2011 (wears a black armband for tsunami victims, talks about Super 8).  The ring swarms on Kingston, everyone wants the tag title shot – Kingston has to do some running around, get to the top, duck out of the way to miss a Black kick that instead catches Kidd – its designed to show everyone wants the tag title and to get Kingston a specific spot.  Look how he avoids everyone! The early speed of the first entrants, besides being unlike a normal battle royal, sets up Kingston doing this "nobody can catch Kofi Kingston" spot. Black and Kidd do some shoving as this stage of the battle royal ends and everything slows down. 

7.      Darren Young

The Prime Time Players (TPTP) emerge after Mania doing their act.  Did you see Hollywood Shuffle?  It’s a sendup of African-American entertainment tropes – I’d like to do that here, one promo O’Neill can be the wise black man with vaguely mystical powers – the next, Young can be the powerful hip hop mogul with a secret.  I mean, I don’t want them in the ring much, so they can do comedy when I have to use them.  They start calling themselves Tyler Perry Presents The Prime Time Players (TPPTPTP). Yes, it's just for that joke, yes.  And that joke's enough that I'll keep them in the background with Santino even when I don't need to use them.

8.      Damien Sandow

Sure are a lot of people in the ring.  Sandow has been in developmental, part of the next wave of Underground ready to hit WWF.  He does his smarter than you gimmick and becomes the new leader of the Douchebags.

9.      Kane

Kane and not PAUL is the member of DMW invited to compete – this has pissed PAUL off and its been part of the build.  DMW didn’t get a Mania slot, that’s pissed PAUL off and its been part of this build.  (30 Kingston, by Kane).  Kane gets the title shot for DMW by taking out Kofi, so that element of the battle royal ends here. 

10.  Heath Slater

Sandow shows his Douchebags leadership by directing Slater; they battle Kane.  Tatsu battles Young.  Mistico battles Kidd and PAC battles Black. 

11.  Cody Rhodes

-Defiance dropped to Young Money at Mania; they talked openly about how their rematch shouldn’t be up for grabs in this event, feeling victimized in the way Defiance does – and now that Kingston has already been eliminated Cody is clearly heated as he gets into the ring and starts lighting into Douchebags and Kane. 

12.  Sheamus(w/Regal)

11 guys in the ring is too many; you’ll note Underground is half the ring – so when Regal hits ringside he claps his hands and the unit comes together. 

(29 – Tatsu, by Underground)

(28 – Young, by Underground)

(27 – Rhodes, by Underground)

13.  Justin Gabriel

Gabriel means 6 members of Underground out of 9 total in the ring. 

(26 – Kane, by Underground)

 Pac and Mistico now fight for their lives; announce notes that Pac and Kidd are approaching half an hour.  Announce notes that Underground is still unstoppable when they are tight, and no one can keep a squad together like Regal.

14.  Primo Colon

15.  @TruthKills

Colon and Killings go aggressive as soon as they hit the ring, just trying to punch their way out of the swarm of guys who are upon them.  Mistico and Pac hit a double team maneuver on Black and have him ready to go – Kidd, at Regal’s order, goes to aid Black.  Douchebags have Colon ready to go.

16.  Dean Ambrose

He hits the ring with Cole, on the outside, directing him to aid Douchebags, who are on the entry side of the ring, in taking out Colon – Ambrose ignores him and goes to the opposite side of the ring to aid Black, clearly walking right past Douchebags without paying them any mind a all. 

(25 – Mistico, by Shield/Kidd)

While on the other side of the ring

(24 – Slater, by Colon/Killings)

(23-Colon, by Sandow/Sheamus – Sheamus noticed Ambrose didn’t help, saw the result, and came in to aid Sandow)

(22-Killings, by Sandow/Sheamus)

Simultaneously…

(21 – Kidd, by Shield – and when Gabriel comes to yell about that -)

(20 – Gabriel, by Shield)


17.  Nick Nemeth

So – see where we are.  The Shield on one side of the ring, Sandow/Sheamus on the other, and Nemeth, the de facto leader entering – Sheamus and Nemeth get right up into the Shield, screaming right into their faces, taking advantage is Pac (19 – Sandow, by Pac).  Regal gets on the apron at that point, just furious – pointing at Pac.  That rallies the troops. (18 – Pac, by Underground)

18.  Chris Jericho

Let’s talk Jericho.  He moved from Y2J to JerichoDark (like Raven) to The Lizard King (strung out Jim Morrison) to The Champ (the suit wearing recent incarnation)

Losing to Danielson at Mania, definitively, to a better, younger man, ends that gimmick.  What comes next?

It’s Jericho’s first appearance since Mania, and he comes to the ring in the suit, looking like he hasn’t taken it off since Mania.  Shirt untucked, tie undone. He’s got a thousand yard stare and just wanders into the ring, taking his entire two minute period to get to ringside.

19.  Zach Ryder

Ryder is right behind Jericho by the time he gets to the ring, he sneaks, he looks to wait until Jericho steps in before throwing him out. Ryder's walking right behind; Jericho seems to have no idea where he is, but when he steps into the ring, and Ryder then immediately gets in, throwing a clothesline designed to catch Jericho – Jericho drops to the mat (ideally, not looking like he’s avoiding Ryder, looking like he’s just falling down at exactly the right time) and the momentum propels Ryder back over the ropes. (17-Ryder, himself)

Jericho stays on the mat, curls up, he may be asleep.  Once they eliminated Pac, the Shield tried then to take out both Sheamus and Nemeth –that coup was unsuccessful and led to a full brawl, Underground exploding into a full on brawl, so they missed the entire Jericho scene – but the four men come to a dead stop when the next music hits.   

20.  CM Punk (w/Steamboat)

The four members of Underground ready, planting themselves in the ring – Jericho is asleep, Punk loves it, broad smile, he points at Heyman as he gets to ringside (JR/Joey/Heyman all on the announce, Heyman has had to eat it from his colleagues in the aftermath of Mania; Paul has not taken it with good humor and he stops talking completely as Punk enters – also at ringside is Danielson, the champ always watches the Battle Royal; Steamboat, of course, has his now customary white towel over his shoulder as he walks down the aisle). Punk briefly jaws with Regal on the outside, pointing at the four guys in the ring “just 4 on 1, Steve – you don’t have enough meat”.  Punk enters, waves Underground over and they pounce. 

21.  Chris Hero

It’s just 4:1 for like 30 seconds, Hero is next and he sprints to the ring to make it 4 on 2.  Jericho sleeps. 

22.  Roman Reigns Uso

Reigns, whom we saw at Mania, makes his way slowly to the ring – steps in and joins GDI, going in hard after the Shield, allowing Hero/Punk to focus on Nemeth/Sheamus. Jericho sleeps.

23.  John Cena

Cena goes right after Punk, they brawl; Hero looks like he’s about to go, and that causes the Shield to join Nemeth/Sheamus – Reigns joins too, as Hero nears extinction.  Jericho sleeps.

24.  Claudio Castagnoli

Claudio comes in hot to save his partner, everyone eats uppercuts; the Kings are able to gain an advantage on The Shield, and when each man is about to go – Nemeth and Sheamus aid in the elimination (16 –Ambrose, 15-Black, by KOW and Nemeth/Sheamus). The Shield ignores Regal as they exit. 

25.  Ryback

Now we see everyone paired off.  It’s a Couples Skate.  Ryback and Reigns.  Cena and Punk. Claudio and Nemeth.  Hero and Sheamus.  Jericho now stands and starts wandering around the ring. 

26.  Randy Orton

Orton hits the ring and is instantly tossed out by Jericho, who then falls back to the canvas, seemingly asleep.  Orton’s disbelieving (14) - he didn't even notice Jericho, who knew Jericho was even in the goddamn battle royal.  Where the hell is Cody - how did Defiance wind up entirely out of Summer Slam?

27.  Santino

Santino, with his superconfidence when he hits the ring, joins Ryback and the two eliminate Reigns (13)

Ryback then punishes Santino for several minutes. 

28.  Titus O’Neill

From TPPTPTP (TPPTPTP Featuring Titus O'Neill TPPTPTPFTON, that's the step they take just before they break up and feud, remind me of that in a year)– he enters and takes a quick shot from Ryback, Sheamus and Nemeth battle the Kings, Punk v. Cena, Jericho is sleep.  10 in the ring, 2 left. 

29.  The Miz

Miz comes in and starts stomping on Jericho – stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp – just really stomping out what appears to be a defenseless Jericho – Ryback is just about to push O’Neill out…who is number 30?

30.  Rey Mysterio

The legendary Mysterio returns – he enters with a highspot that gets Ryback off of O’Neill, and the two of them, with help of Santino, eliminate the big man (12 Ryback), Santino looks to celebrate, but Mysterio and O’Neill toss him out (11), Miz sees the advantage and leaves Jericho to push out O’Neill (10 – and that means that everyone left should either be in the IC tournament or taking on Danielson….he says, note, …should be…) and even though Jericho looked to not even be aware, not even conscious of the stomping he was taking by Miz, he pops up when Miz is unaware and throws him over the top rope (9)….Punk wins his battle with Cena (8)…

7 men left.

The two triple crown winners, Jericho and Mysterio, go nose to nose. 

The 3 members of GDI, Punk/Hero/Claudio go nose to nose with the two members of Underground, Nemeth/Sheamus.  Everything pauses for a moment, we let the anticipation build – and then everyone starts throwing hands – except Punk who makes a beeline for the Jericho/Rey pairing and clotheslines each of them over the top (7) Jericho (6) Rey

Punk has eliminated both triple crown winners and points at Heyman, who, much like at Mania, has removed his headset and is now standing up. 

While Punk does that, (5) Hero, by Nemeth, (4) Claudio, by Sheamus.

And just like that, it’s 2 on 1.

The sequence is as long as TV time allows, it’s the standard two heels/one babyface finish – against all odds, Punk beats them (3) Nemeth (2) Sheamus.

CM Punk has won the Battle Royal.  CM Punk is the first ever two time winner.  CM Punk – as everyone now fully realizes, is the number one contender for Bryan Danielson’s WWF Championship.  It's all happening.

But it's not. 

 Heyman starts to clap.  A sarcastic clap.  Clap.  Clap. 

 Because he knows what’s coming.  And probably you do too.

Brock Lesnar’s music hits.
And the former UFC Champion emerges. 

He hits the ring, he double legs Punk, he busts him open hardway, he F5s him and he tosses him over the top rope.

Crowd reacts as it does – Heyman laughs and laughs – Steamboat goes to Punk’s aid – and Danielson, at ringside, stands, maybe a little stunned as he sees that monster, that undeniable freak of nature Brock Lesnar, in the WWF ring. 

What will happen?  See you in July for a fairly brief conclusion to the Road to Summer Slam 2012. 

Road to Survivor Series 2008 Part 2, Battle Royal 10

Friday, September 25, 2009



Part 1 is here.

Who doesn’t love them some Number One Contenders Battle Royal? Who? Who? What man dare show his face?

It’s Fight Night, that means JR and Striker on the announce. As is custom, the champ joins them. Punk and Maria both get headsets; this serves to push them as a package; I don’t emphasize that as much as I’d like, that would require even more writing that doesn’t propel the narrative. I just really like Punk/Colt/Maria grouping, Punk, as now those of you WWE fans are finding out, is a nifty actor, he can hit notes that other wrestlers can’t; heel Punk has a gleam in his eye not dissimilar from the best version of Roddy Piper. He and Colt have a super two man comedy thing they do, that (like Piper and Orton, to continue the metaphor) doesn’t need to detract from Punk’s real heat. And Maria, besides being superhot, is a smart girl, by that I mean she portrays smart – shes a girl who seems to be making moves. They’re a combustible team; they can fight, they can do comedy, they can be on top – and this is an act completely on top coming off Summer Slam. Punk/Maria entertains me in my head. There’s a lot of Steamboat talk – Punk takes as many opportunities as he can to talk about how Steamboat had to count the fall. Maria needles Punk at one point, interjecting after Punk says the night couldn’t have been better that Steamboat could have fastened the belt around his waist. This clearly gets in Punk’s head.

Let’s play the game.
1. Johnny Nitro
2. Santino Marella

-We knew these numbers from the live draw at Summer Slam – Nitro gets on the mic after his introduction and hits his new catchphrase, which he’s been trying out for a few weeks, “I’m Johnny Nitro – The Greatest Man Alive.”

Shelton Benjamin comes to ringside, still with kneebrace, after Nitro’s introduction – if you recall, after he didn’t get #2 in the Summer Slam draw he promised he’d be coming to the ring second – but the officials at ringside stop him – Benjamin is fuming – constantly fuming at Nitro – they are in a Best of 7 Series that was announced after Mania (they came into 24 with singles belts, but lost them in the TLC main to Punk – Punk clowns them both right now – they spent most of the summer recovering, Benjamin won the first match of the series – but then Nitro has attacked Benjamin’s knee multiple times, and that’s where we stand. Benjamin is champing at the bit to get to Nitro.) Santino’s gimmick is he’s timid and meek and weird until the bell rings – then he’s crazy full of swagger. He’s still not very good, but he’s confident. And that’s how it happens here, Benjamin is held back by officials – Nitro laughs at him – that distraction allows Santino (who tags with Miz, they’re feuding with Young Money) to get the opening flurry of offense – but that is soon ended – and Nitro tosses him (30).

3. Mark Henry (w/Khali)
-The BIG (Bradshaw Investment Group) music plays and the two monsters, Henry and Khali, come to the ring – everyone puts over the size – the mass of these two men – Henry gets some power spots in on Nitro.

4. Chavo Guerrero
-Chavo’s in the LWO, which, as of this moment, is just he and Carlito. The three men trade blows.

5. Colt Cabana
-Punk stands at the announce – getting his cheer on. Punk says here’s the man who will win tonight, the man who he will face at Survivor Series in Boston. Colt’s in his cast – Matt Hardy broke his arm over the summer – but here Colt bravely is, soldiering on, he’s a credit to the Jewish people. Happy Rosh Hashanah read Colt’s tights. Colt joins a Nitro/Chavo double team on Henry – using the cast as a weapon (noted by the announce) – and with the aid of that cast the three men are able to get Henry over (29). Henry and Khali are furious and attempt to get back in the ring – who could possibly stop these monsters from getting into the ring?

PAUL makes his way to ringside – he and Khali “fought” to a no contest at Summer Slam, he, Henry, and Khali full on brawl to the back – but while they are at ringside – the distraction allows Benjamin to momentarily slip into the ring to get some shots in at Nitro! Benjamin gets some shots in at Nitro, then slips out before the referees can adjust.

6. MVP
-The IC Champ comes to the ring – he gets some shots in at Chavo and Colt – and then goes after Nitro – Porter wearing Johnny Nitro out as Chavo and Colt now square off. Announce puts Porter over; Striker selling hard that he is the longest reigning IC Champ in over a decade – that when he defends the belt at Survivor Series, he will be the first IC champ to hold the belt for a full year since Cactus Jack from ’96-’97. JR grumbles about Twitter.

7. Yakuza
-Yang makes another heel in the ring; he joins Colt in trying to eliminate the only babyface, Chavo.

8. Bradshaw
-Bradshaw comes to the ring in the limo, he’s got the wireless mic and a glass light tube. Bradshaw swerved the Undertaker at Summer Slam, promising, demanding a “clean” match – and then bringing out the glass tube for the intentional DQ. The officials stop Bradshaw from bringing his glass tube in the ring – but he’s got a second one in his suit jacket, which he smashes over Chavo’s head while still on the outside (Chavo is leaning over the ropes, being pushed over by Yang and Colt) the officials miss the light tube striking Guerrero, it happened too quickly – they see the blood – but assume it came from Colt’s cast – which, of course, is legal ‘cause it’s wrestling). Yang and Colt push Chavo – but Bradshaw takes the opportunity to grab Colt and sling him to the outside (28).

9. Benjamin
-Benjamin’s music finally plays and he goes right after Nitro – pushing MVP aside in an attempt to attack – but Porter won’t abide that – and he and Benjamin start throwing hands while Nitro scurries under the ropes, to the outside, over the guardrail – and into the crowd, finding a seat.

10. Rey Mysterio
-As promised, the return of the Legendary Rey Mysterio. Rey is a triple crown winner, he and Michaels the only ones still active (and Shawn’s only presence are the clip packages that pop on out of nowhere spotlighting his 10 titles held in the WWF, 2 World titles, 4 IC, 4 tags). Rey’s been gone since losing the WWF title to Benjamin at the Rumble – and that was only a six month stay, he had missed a full year prior to that. Rey appeared to be breaking down – but here he is, and the drumbeat has been beating during every show since Summer Slam – Rey Mysterio to return at the Battle Royal!

-It’s a thing – Rey first saves Chavo, still in the ring, bleeding – getting worked over by Bradshaw and Yakuza, Rey getting in some spots and then eliminating Yang (27).

11. Randy Orton (w/Dean Malenko)
-Orton’s done nothing but cut promos for a couple of months after being hit by Regal’s car in the parking lot. Orton and the Juggernaut (Umaga) formed Defiance with a heel turning Malenko at 24, burying Fit Finlay in the process. Regal’s declared war on them, he ran the Juggernaut out of the company and has Orton squarely in his sites. Orton slowly, warily, gets to the apron – and then sees Nitro fly over the guardrail to attack Malenko (when Dean was Fit’s manager, and Fit was in a long NWA Title program with Nitro, Dean attacked Melina, Nitro’s valet/girlfriend, putting her out of the company). Orton doesn’t get in the ring, hops from the apron and begins brawling with Nitro on the outside. In the ring – Porter v. Benjamin, Rey/Chavo v. Bradshaw.

12. Primo Colon
-It’s the debut of Carlito’s little brother, who we will come to know as The Baby-Faced Assassin. Striker puts him over as a man too out of control for Puerto Rico – how wrong does a man have to be to be the black sheep of the Colon family? Primo joins Chavo in trying to eliminate Bradshaw – that frees up Rey to spin over to the Porter/Benjamin fight, making that a 3 way brawl.

13. Undertaker
-The Dead Man has Bradshaw on the brain – but he’s also the locker room conscience of the WWF – and seeing Nitro and Orton outside the ring pisses him off – he grabs both of them, throwing them to the apron, Undertaker shoving them each inside when our attention is diverted to the other side of the ring as out of nowhere….MVP eliminates Rey Mysterio (26)!

-The announce is shocked – JR had just said Rey was his pick to take this battle royal – and now he is on the floor. MVP pulls his phone out of his trunks to tweet: The gr8tst IC Champ of all time just got Rey!

14. Cody Rhodes
-The Dead Man’s little buddy Cody is in the ring – he and the Undertaker go to work on Bradshaw – that swings Chavo and Primo to go to work on the post-twitter Porter – and Benjamin, after Mysterio’s elimination – went right after Johnny Nitro – and with Orton they’re in a 3 way.

15. Yoshi Tatsu
-Tatsu has just made his debut on GDI – he’s a babyface, he’s going over guys, Jamie Noble will be headed back to GDI before Survivor Series, starting as a returning veteran babyface who will look to help show Tatsu the ropes, but eventually turning heel on him. Tatsu gets some stuff in on everyone to establish that he’s a worker – Primo takes advantage of Tatsu getting in a shot on Chavo to throw Guerrero over (25). Chavo’s bleeding and hot – he and Carlito are partners and here’s Carlito’s brother, in his WWF debut, eliminating him from the battle royal.

16. Kash Kingston
-Bradshaw, despite the 2 on 1 disadvantage, eliminates Cody (24) but doesn’t get time to celebrate, as he’s dumped by the dead man (23).

17. Ron Killings
-Young Money is in effect – the team formed by Floyd Mayweather in the run up to 24, eliminates Tatsu (22). Nitro/Orton/Benjamin continue their fight, Primo and Porter are now joined by the ‘Taker.

18. Brian Kendrick (w/Colt)
-Cabana’s recovered enough to make his way to the ring with Kendrick; Punk again stands and applauds and says two winners are coming down the ramp – two winners! At Summer Slam, recall, Kendrick hit sliced bread #2 on Matt Hardy to aid Punk’s title defense. Colt grabs a headset and now Punk’s full crew is on the announce – Kendrick and Young Money work with Primo and Porter in an attempt to eliminate the Undertaker.

19. Carlito
-Primo’s big brother enters – and he joins the eventually successful effort to take out the Dead Man (21).

20. Miz
-Santino’s partner, the Spencer Pratt of the WWF, the Miz – hits the ring – and is immediately eliminated by Young Money (20). Nitro/Benjamin/Orton have continued their 3 way war; Carlito and Primo are teaming up against MVP; Kendrick is trying to avoid everyone.

21. Jack Swagger (w/Taz and Kelly)
-The first of two entrants from WWFU (The Underground). It’s Jake’s TV debut – and his sister and head trainer make their way to the ring. Punk gets a little more serious – staring intently at the highly touted prospect – Swagger goes right into the lions den – directed by Taz – Swagger goes right after Nitro/Benjamin/Orton, who had their own corner of the ring for the past several entrances/eliminations. He lights them all up – the announce noting that this was clearly a plan – Taz has brought the first of the two Underground trainees to Fight Night to make an impact.

22. John Cena (w/Arn)
-Half of the tag champs, WMD. As Cena hits the ring we get four eliminations (19) Carlito is dumped over by MVP and Young Money, Killings (18) is dumped over by MVP and Primo, Kingston (17) is dumped by MVP and Primo and (16) Primo is dumped by MVP.

23. HHH-M
-Hunter enters and goes right after Cena – as they’ve been feuding over the tag titles, Hunter and Cena brawl – Swagger is still all over Nitro, Benjamin, and Orton – Porter and Kendrick now go at it.

24. Ted DiBiase, Jr.
-Taz intensely directs DiBiase to join Swagger – they’re rivals, but if you recall from Part I, Taz made clear the need to work together, given this was their big shot to make an impression for the Underground. And they make an impression – DiBiase and Swagger take out Nitro (15) and then Benjamin (14) – and then DiBiase turns and takes out Swagger (13)

Taz is furious – yelling at DiBiase. DiBiase smirks, points at himself – and walks right into an Orton RKO (12).

25. Steve Regal
-And then Orton’s eyes bug out – Regal charges the ring and eliminates him immediately (11) and Regal follows him over the top and out to the floor (10) – Regal chasing Orton all the way to the back. Only 5 men remain and only 4 men (Hunter, Cena, Porter, Kendrick) are in the ring.

26. Edge
-Edge, tauntingly still wearing the #10 Hart Foundation hockey jersey enters – he and Hunter begin working Cena over. Kendrick still fights Porter. The tension builds – someone is going to Survivor Series. Someone will meet CM Punk for the WWF Title at Survivor Series!

27. Matt Hardy
-Cena (9) can’t withstand Edge and Hunter, he goes over right as Matt hits the ring, think of Edge as leaning over to dump Cena right as Hardy enters such that they don’t notice each other’s presence – Hardy is totally preoccupied with Kendrick, who he eliminates (8) – and then simultaneously Matt takes out Porter (7) while Edge takes out Hunter (6).

Leaving just two men in the ring. Two men who haven’t stood in a wrestling ring together in a year and a half since main eventing 23 in a Cell – Matt Hardy and Edge.
They’re on opposite sides of the ring after those eliminations – and slowly turn around and lock eyes. Matt Hardy and Edge! Matt Hardy and Edge!

28. Leviathan
-Here’s big Dave, the other half of the tag champs – before Matt and Edge can make their way to physical contact – Leviathan is full on house afire – he levels both guys, Leviathan does the big man spots on both guys – then shakes the ropes! Leviathan! Leviathan grabs Matt and tries to push him over – Edge is still down in the ring -

29. The Blood Dragon
-This happens quick . As The Blood Dragon sprints to the ring the announce puts over real surprise that Jeff is there – no one has heard a word from Jeff since he lost his latest IC attempt at Summer Slam – the heels count up his losses, Punk says he had two shots at my ECW Title, Colt says he had 3 or four shots at the IC title – Jeff’s a loser and he’ll always be a loser. Batista has Matt ready to go, Matt is ready to be eliminated – the Blood Dragon goes to the top rope immediately – he’s going to do a high spot on Leviathan – he’s going to attempt a high risk maneuver to try to save his brother!

But he misses – Leviathan backs away and the Blood Dragon crashes into Matt, sending him over the top rope to the outside (5). Leviathan’s backing away allows Edge, taking advantage of the moment, to send a mighty toss and fling Leviathan to the outside (4). The Blood Dragon has his head in his hands as Matt looks up at him from the floor incredulously – Matt’s mouth wide open as he stares at the Blood Dragon – the Blood Dragon frozen as he’s shoved in the back by Edge – over the top rope to the floor (3).

Edge falls to his knees in the center of the ring – perhaps forgetting momentarily that there is still one entrant remaining – Matt now gets in the Blood Dragon’s face – but the Blood Dragon, as he did at Summer Slam, just brushes past him as if he doesn’t even notice – Matt grabs the Blood Dragon’s arm – spinning him around – the Blood Dragon takes off his mask for the first time in this match.

It’s Jeff, of course. I mean, it’s always Jeff. Who else could it possibly be?

Jeff and Matt have a brief, wordless staredown, before Matt shakes his head at his little brother and exits. Jeff puts his head in his hands , sitting down behind the timekeepers table.

30. Chris Jericho
-The Countdown clock begins – the number 7 (Jericho’s Hart Foundation jersey number) flashes – Jericho has been gone since his 24 loss to Edge – a match set up when Edge turned on Jericho diabolically at the Rumble. All summer, the Clique cut “where’s Jericho” promos – suggesting that the occasionally emotionally fragile Lionheart may have returned to his previous ways (Jericho’s previous incarnation before his 3 year absence was as The Lizard King Chris Jericho – fat and bearded with a whiskey bottle, he and a strung out Trish Stratus barely able to stand, he returned at full powers a year previous, seemingly aligned with former rival Edge – but Edge was swerving him).

Jericho charges the ring – Jericho wearing the number 7 jersey – Jericho is fine – angry – motivated – Jericho and Edge throw full blows right in the middle of the ring – Punk stands now – Punk takes off his headset and stands – Jericho and Edge are throwing full on blows in mid-ring, one of them is going to Survivor Series – one of them is going to wrestle for the WWF Title – wrestle for the Triple Crown! – at Survivor Series!.

They go full tilt as long as TV Time will permit – and then Jericho throws him over the top (2).

Chris Jericho is going to Survivor Series to wrestle CM Punk for the WWF Title.

And that’s the battle royal.

The rest of the set up will come in October. Survivor Series in November.  The build continues.

Road to Survivor Series '06 - III

Monday, October 01, 2007

Part 2 is here.


Road to Survivor Series Part 3 – Battle Royal 9

(I'm knocking out the Road to SS20 this week, if you've missed parts 1 and 2, go to older posts)

1. CM Punk
-Punk makes his RAW wrestling debut – wearing a brand new GDI Wrestling t-shirt, announce puts it over as a big deal – 8 months since he showed up in the crowd at the Royal Rumble – CM Punk is wrestling on RAW.

2. 2 Cold Scorpio
-Announce puts this over too – 2 Cold appears unannounced, wearing a GDI t-shirt. 2 Cold never got established in WWF, but was a multi-time belt holder in both ECW and NWA – announce says, like battle royals past, wrestlers come from all over the world to get a shot at the WWF Title. And apparently he will be joining GDI on Tuesday nights!

3. Sugar Shane Helms
-Announce notes that Helms has never gotten singles respect here in the WWF, but he is a former tag champ and one of the most underrated wrestlers in the company.

4. Chavo Guerrero
-Again, Chavo lost to Carlito at Summer Slam and was forced to join the LWO, he continues to look uncomfortable in the LWO colors (think LAX) – he’s got a bandana covering his face – and hits the ring; he is attacked by Punk and Scorp – reuniting the original SpreeKillers, Chavo and Helms, who began tagging together back in the NWA in 1999. Chavo and Helms go at it w/ Scorp and Punk.

5. Shelton Benjamin (w/AA)
Arn brings in half of Strong Style – they dominated the tag ranks in the summer of ’06, mowing everyone down, but still could not get spots in Summer Slam – Benjamin spends the full two minutes suplexing everyone in the ring whenever they get up – dominating the ring until the next entrant.

6. Ken Kennedy
-He and Cena are doing a cocky babyface tag act – he’s met by Benjamin who suplexes him halfway across the ring – Benjamin gets in more suplexes until he’s stopped by a low blow by Punk.

7. Booker T
-Now the ring separates into individual battles – Book goes right after Punk, laying into him with kicks and chops. Helms battles Benjamin in another corner. Scorpio and Kennedy wind up working together on Chavo, who is about to be tossed over the top rope.

8. Carlito Colon
-Carlito sprints to the ring and clotheslines Kennedy (30) over the top rope to the outside. Even without thinking, Chavo joins Carlito automatically in a double dropkick that sends Scorpio (29) over the top rope to the outside! Chavo looks surprised and angry – he doesn’t like Carlito – doesn’t like being LWO – but Carlito has just saved him and the two of them have just teamed up – Carlito smiles and nods, tapping his chest.

9. Sandman
-Sandman makes the long entrance. With music and singing and beer and smash, smash, smash. Book and Punk continue, as do Helms and Benjamin. Chavo curses Carlito out.

10. Jamie Noble
-Sandman and Noble hit the ring at the same time – Sandman swings his cane, leveling both LWO members, getting a brief advantage against them before they 2 on 1 him. Noble comes in on Punk’s side against Book. Helms continues w/ Benjamin.

11. PAUL~
-Half of the tag champs, DMW, the Giant Paul enters. He tosses Noble (28). Announce notes that DMW is a mess right now, Kane is gone, having been destroyed by Lashley. Announce takes this chance to mention Rey and Benoit and Steamboat all suffered the same fate. Anyway – Kane’s gone, Paul and Hogan defended the titles at Summer Slam – but then Hogan was taken out by Lashley – but the rumors are the Undertaker, also taken out by Lashley, will return at Survivor Series to defend the tag titles with PAUL.

12. Paul London
-London goes right after Punk and lights him up, chasing him to every corner of the ring. Paul battles Book, the LWO goes after Sandman, Helms and Benjamin continue their fight. 9 men in the ring.

13. Elijah Burke
-Burke, childhood friend of Montel Porter (who wrote to Booker T while in prison, asking for advice, Book sent wrestling tapes and then trained Burke and Porter in Houston after Porter was released) hops in, obviously on the side of Book, they go after Paul. 10 in the ring.

14. Super Crazy
-That’s all 3 LWO members in the ring, and they toss Sandman (27) Burke can’t handle the monster Paul (26).

15. John Cena
-That’s half the entrants, Cena gets the joke spot as he’s tossed right out (25) by the LWO – and then Chavo immediately turns on Carlito (24). Announce expects Carlito to be angry – but he smiles, nodding at Chavo “good job – good job, Chavito.”

Chavo gets frustrated – why won’t these guys get mad at him?

Book takes advantage, tossing Chavo over – but Chavo is saved and brought back in the ring by Crazy!

16. Rob Van Dam (w/Stevie)
-As RVD hits the ring, Helms wins his war with Benjamin (23). RVD goes after the big man, PAUL, the LWO continues to battle Book, and London and Punk turn it up.

17. Charlie Haas
-Immediately after Benjamin’s exit – Haas enters, he, Arn, and Benjamin have a quick confab – and Haas goes after Helms.

Lights out.

Lights on.

18. Sabu
-Sabu is in the ring holding a glass light tube, his new weapon of choice after beating Cactus Jack at Summer Slam in the glass light tube match. Sabu cracks Paul clean over the head – blood flowing from the big man and Sabu/RVD knock him over (22).

19. Tommy Dreamer
20.Brian Kendrick
-Kendrick goes into the Punk/London fight, and it becomes a GDI 3 way.
-the LWO keeps trying to eliminate Book
-Helms and Haas continue to fight
And RVD/Sabu eliminate Tommy (21).

21. Lord Steven Regal
That makes 11 in the ring. Seems like a lot.

22. Shawn Michaels
Superkick to Crazy (20). Superkick to Chavo (19). Superkick to Booker…but Book is able to hang out and Shawn continues to try to toss him over. Haas and Helms continue their fight, the announce notes that Punk and Helms, entrants 1 and 3, are both still in the ring, Regal is wearing out Punk with headbuts – and Van Dam and Sabu find themselves face to face with London and Kendrick – RVD motions to all 3 guys that this should be a tag match – London and Kendrick, former tag partners in a war since Kendrick returned to the WWF at Survivor Series ’05 nod to each other – and it’s on.

23. Hunter Hearst Helmsley McMahon
London and Kendrick take out RVD (18). London then turns on Kendrick (17).

24. Montel Porter
Porter joins Book – the two men taking out Haas (16) and Helms (15)

25. The Executioner Bobby Lashley
-Uh oh.

(14) Regal. (13) Porter. (12) Booker (11) Sabu

This now happens really quickly.

26. Matt Hardy
-Matt is of course on his way to the main event at XXIII where he and Edge will blow off their long feud in the third ever Hell in a Cell.

But right now, he gets to the ring at the exact moment that Booker hits the floor.

Lashley was directly challenged by Book/Porter/Burke at Summer Slam, and we see his angry exuberance now, as he physically overwhelmed Porter and Book – he beats his chest and trashtalks Book and Porter on the outside when HHH slaps him on the back --- it will be a matter of some debate – but as HHH slaps Lashley, the Executioner, still in a frenzied state – doesn’t recognize that he’s being congratulated – and just automatically tosses HHHM over the top.

Huge pop. (10).

Flair now emerges from the back, yelling at Lashley – HHH stands bug eyed on the outside – did he mean to do it – did he not – and as the moment continues…

(9) Lashley is dropkicked over the top rope by Matt Hardy.

And Matt Hardy (8) is superkicked over the top by Shawn Michaels.

27. Edge
And Edge enters, even before the two minutes are up, to spear Michaels.

The Solution has been eliminated – and they remain on the outside, Flair and HHH yelling at Lashley. At Summer Slam, Michaels won Matt Hardy’s contract from Edge in the Ladder Match, but Michaels has just eliminated Matt from the Battle Royal – and now there are only 4 men in the ring. Edge and Michaels, former stablemates who have been feuding all year – and London and Punk, who continue their battle. 4 men in the ring. 3 men left. Who will go on to Survivor Series to meet Ric Flair???

28. Randy Orton
-Orton walks slowly to the ring, taking his time, surveying the landscape, taking the full two minutes. Edge v. Michaels. Punk v. London

29. Fit Finlay (w/Dean)
-Fit is the one who tosses Orton in the ring – Fit putting the boots to Orton –then going over and lighting up both Edge and Michaels – Michaels takes shots from both Fit and Edge, battling back furiously – and then is stunned when he eats a superkick from one of his protégées, Paul London – London eliminates Shawn Michaels (7)!! But there’s no time to celebrate – London is then tossed out of the ring by CM Punk – still in the ring from position number one! (6) Out of nowhere, Orton RKOs Fit – and tosses him over (5)

30. Jeff Hardy
-Jeff doesn’t let Orton enjoy his triumph (4).

And now there are 3 men left – Edge. Punk. Jeff.

We get a long 3 way sequence.

Will it be Edge – former tag and IC champ – will he get his first shot at the WWF Title – a shot at the Triple Crown – as he readies for the main event at XXIII?

Will it be Punk – the man too good for WWF TV – the leader of the Tuesday night revolution, GDI wrestling?

Will it be Jeff Hardy – making his return to the WWF – the former tag champ cost Edge his ladder match at Summer Slam –

And costs Edge here.

Jeff eliminates Edge (3)!!

Jeff Hardy and CM Punk are the last two men in the ring – there has never been a man who has gone from 30 to win the Battle Royal – At the 80 minute mark, Punk having broken the record for the longest survival in the history of the Number One Contender’s Battle Royal – at the 80 minute mark ---

He wins.

Punk tosses Jeff from the ring.

CM Punk…CM Punk…in his first RAW match….CM Punk is going to Survivor Series to wrestle Ric Flair for the Undisputed Heavyweight Championship of the World as the road continues.

Road to Survivor Series '06 - II (Battle Royals 1-8)

Part I is here.


Road to Survivor Series 2006 II
The inaugural Number One Contender’s Battle Royal was right after VII in ’91 on the last SNME in 15 years.

-Hawk and Animal were the first two entrants.
-Barbarian was the first elimination (by the Road Warriors)
-The Undertaker has 10 eliminations. Still a record. 10 is a lot.
-Michaels lasted almost an hour, eliminated by Bret and Davey Boy
-Davey won the battle royal, Sid was the last elimination.
-Davey went on to win the WWF Title at Summer Slam, defeating Mr. Perfect.
Two years later, after IX, the battle royal returned.

-Owen and Shawn were the first two entrants.
-The first elimination was Doink (by Owen and HBK)
-Luger eliminated 6 guys
-Owen lasted a little over an hour, breaking the record.
-And Michaels then broke that record, lasting 75 minutes, being the last elimination – by Razor.
-Razor went on to lose to WWF Champion Bret at Summer Slam, a rematch from the main at IX.

Two years later, after XI, the battle royal returned.
-Waltman and Bob Holly were one and two.
-Holly was the first elimination – by Hunter
-Undertaker eliminated 5 guys.
-Hakushi was your winner, eliminating Razor last.
-Hakushi went to Summer Slam and lost to WWF Champ Bret

We moved the Battle Royal to run in the even numbered years next, as it returned after XII.
-Billy and Bart were one and two.
-Jannetty was the first out, eliminated by Snow
-Austin eliminated 7.
-Owen won the battle royal, eliminating Austin last
-Pillman’s surprise debut was in this match.
-Owen went to Summer Slam and lost to WWF Champ HBK

Two years later, the 5th battle royal, after XIV
-Rock and HHH were 1-2.
-Mero was first eliminated, by Rock.
-Dr. Death was a mystery entrant
-Austin had 9 eliminations.
-He was last eliminated, by Cactus. Cactus went on to win the WWF Title, and the Triple Crown, at Summer Slam, beating Owen.

Two years later, after XVI, in 2000, it returned.
-Angle and Alabama Bob were the first two entrants
-Crash was the first eliminated, by Angle.
-Angle eliminated 8 and also lasted an hour.
-Rock won the battle royal, Jericho was the last out.
-Rock went to Summer Slam and lost to WWF Champ Benoit

Two years later, after XVIII – battle royal 7.
-This was the battle royal put together by the Titan Trust, Fit/Arn/Dean
-26 of the 30 entrants had held gold somewhere and 9 were former Heavyweight Champions in the most star studded battle royal ever.
-Jericho and Edge were 1 and 2.
-Regal was the first out, eliminated by Jericho and Book.
-The Clique, Michaels, Razor, Diesel, Hunter and even a running in Waltman eliminated 11.
-They were all (save HBK) eliminated by Brock
-Rey was a surprise entrant, the first ever winner from the 30 position (no one has ever won from #1) He eliminated former world champs Hennig, Flair, and Michaels to win.
-He went to Summer Slam and lost to WWF Champ Angle

Two years later – but now after Summer Slam as opposed to after Mania – was battle royal 8 in 2004.

-Tajiri and Yang were 1 and 2.
-Yang was first out, by Benjamin
-Angle had multiple eliminations from the announce position
-Leviathan had 9 eliminations
-Eddy won, eliminating Christian. Eddy went to Survivor Series and fought WWF Champ Benoit to a time limit draw.

And now – 2 years later – Battle Royal 9 – 30 men, the winner goes to Survivor Series 20 to meet Ric Flair for the Undisputed Heavyweight Championship of the World – and it is coming next

The History of the Number One Contender Battle Royal

Sunday, April 08, 2007



THE HISTORY OF THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER BATTLE ROYAL(Part 5 in the series of title histories; beginning in 1991, every other year, following Wrestlemania, WWF has kicked off its new cycle with a 30 man battle royal. A battle royal was held in 1996, and the event is now in even numbered years. In 2004, the battle royal was held after Summer Slam, as will be the case in 2006. In an ideal Counterfactual, this event would be called the Royal Rumble – and the Royal Rumble event would be called Justice Sunday. However, to avoid confusion, we do it like this.)

1991 Winner: Davey Boy Smith (last elimination – Sid)
1993 Winner: Razor Ramon (last elimination – Shawn Michaels)
1995 Winner: Hakushi (last elimination – Razor Ramon)
1996 Winner: Owen Hart (last elimination – Steve Austin)
1998 Winner: Cactus Jack (last elimination – Steve Austin)
2000 Winner: The Rock (last elimination – Chris Jericho)
2002 Winner: Rey Mysterio, Jr. (last elimination – Shawn Michaels)
2004 Winner: Eddy Guerrero (last elimination – Christian)

Summer Slam 2004

Saturday, May 13, 2006



XX is here.


Summer Slam 2004 – Toronto
(Dark: Regal/Benjamin d. Spike/Stevie)

(Show opens with an extended highlight package. We see shots of Benoit and Angle, Benoit winning the NWA belt three times, juxtaposed with Angle winning the Olympic gold medal…Angle’s debut at WM XV, 5 years ago, when he took the American flag from Jarrett and Angle Slammed he and Dustin…Benoit’s getting Cactus Jack to submit to the crossface a year later at XVI, as the Alliance swept Wrestlemania…numerous nose to nose confrontations between Angle/Benoit – then an extended clip, say 30 seconds, of WM XVII, and, in the 2001 Match of the Year, Angle getting the pinfall, beating Benoit, and the locker room hoisting Angle in the air….very quick images of Angle’s title defenses, Van Dam/Booker/Flair/Hennig/Rey/Jericho/Michaels/Brock --- and then Angle tearfully handing the belt to Vince and walking away on RAW in ’03 – we dissolve into the images of Benoit and Guerrero, taking off their masks after winning the tag titles from Jericho and Storm at Summer Slam 2002 – then we see Benoit’s turn at Royal Rumble ’93, he draws the enormous face pop suplexing the rest of the Horsemen – which morphs into Angle’s turn 8 months later, he rises from the wheelchair to Slam Eddy and Vince…now we see extended Angle/Benoit, from Summer Slam one year ago – Angle tapping his forehead as he leaves the ring following a 30 minute draw – then to Royal Rumble 2004, where Angle defeats Eddy to win the title for the second time, to this year’s Match of the Year at WM XX, when Benoit cradled Angle to win his second WWF Title…and finally to the recent months…Angle attacking the Brain Trust…Benoit pinning Regal, Angle’s new Enforcer…and finally Angle’s return after his summer on suspension…Angle attacking Benoit, putting him in the ankle lock as Benoit screams in pain.

Now we see shots of Eddy, Jericho, and Paul London….we see clips of Eddy and Jericho from the NWA in 1998, culminating with Eddy’s defeating Jericho for the NWA title at Starrcade. We then see Jericho’s Y2J Break the Walls Down babyface debut on RAW, and his IC win over Waltman at Survivor Series ’99…then an extended clip of Eddy beating him again, this time at Wrestlemania XVI…we see Jericho exhaulting after Survivor Series 2000, regaining the IC and beating Guerrero…we see Jericho and Storm, as the Hart Foundation 2K, win the tag titles over the Dudleys and Edge and Christian at Royal Rumble 2002…and then lose them to Guerrero and Benoit at Summer Slam…we then see the transformation of both men…Jericho seeing Stacy kiss Lance and become Dark Jericho…Eddy turn on the Horsemen and feud with his nephew Chavo…Jericho toss Christian off the Cell at XX – he and Trish making out on the top of the cage as the medical personnel rush to ringside…Eddy winning the IC at XX…he and Benoit hugging with their belts in the air at show’s end…then with a crash, it’s Paul London coming into the screen, the fans chanting, “Please Don’t Die” as he dives onto the ramp, onto the guardrail, onto a table…we see London beating HHH in the 64 man tournament…London standing on a buckle with the other 3 members of the Nu Clique…London pinning Jericho as he and Edge beat Jericho and Hunter in a RAW tag….we see the 3 men going nose to nose to nose on Raw…
….now quicker images…Flair and Leviathan beating Haas and Benjamin at XX…RVD getting turned on by Paul E and the Dudleys, then he and Mysterio taking them out and making the signs for the belts….

…a shot from WM XV…Edge and Christian turning heel on the Hardys, and making the sign of the Clique with HHH and Waltman…a year and half later, Edge and Christian turning on HHH, hitting him with the Con-Chair-To to bounce him from the Clique..Edge and Christian each taking Michaels superkicks at XVIII, as they go down to HHH and Razor…Edge being stretchered out with a broken neck after the last TLC match at Royal Rumble 2003…HHH attacking Spanky with the sledgehammer, breaking his arm…and then doing the same to Michaels at XX…Edge, gone a year and a half…sprinting to the ring to spear Jericho and drive he and HHH from the ring…Edge and HHH brawling all summer…

It’s Summer Slam from Toronto! JR and Taz on the announce.

1. Orton/Cena d. Dudleys (w/ Paul E)
-The two time tag champs, the Dudley Boys, are shocked by the upstart, largely comedic Orton/Cena tag team. When Paul E attempts to interfere in the match,
RVD runs to ringside to take him out, Van Dam hitting a frog splash on Paul E on the outside. Orton and Cena get the fall using whatever double team maneuver we can think up for them, and they celebrate like children, their biggest win to date. RVD stands on the ramp, pointing to himself with his thumbs. This wraps up the Dudleys.

2. Undertaker d. Kane (w/ PAUL)
-Recall that, after they did not get a match at XX, PAUL and Kane turned on the Dead Man, deciding he was what was holding Dead Men Walking back – they left him in a pool of blood on RAW, causing the Taker to vanish…he returns here in Toronto – and is, once again, Undead. Whole old gimmick, down to the purple hat. We sell that as a thing – he tombstones Kane – then is attacked by PAUL – the Giant chokeslams the Taker – a monumental feat..but, of course, the WWF Legend does the Zombie sit up – and a freaked out PAUL warily retreats as JR and Taz do what you’d expect them to do. Going forward, he'll do the undead entrance but keep the submission in ring style which is the best bet for work.

3. Kidman d. Dinsmore
Recall we’re doing a disgruntled generational thing here; Kidman, upset with the treatment given his former partner, Noble, let go by the company after Benoit broke his ankle at the Rumble, cut a “the younger guys don’t get any respect around here” promo…he was confronted by the veteran Dinsmore (Eugene) pissed that a guy who was US Champ in the NWA when he was 24 is bitching while he’s been sitting at Ohio Valley for 5 years waiting to get called up.

Kidman goes over clean in a solid match – then takes the mic. – “that’s for the young guys being kept down” – Alabama Bob and Ulysses Morley then hit the ring – Bob tells Kidman he doesn’t have any respect – guys like me and Morley have been here ten years, we don’t get to work the big shows, but we just do our jobs – you young guys are little bitches…

Enter Orton and Cena…..they stand with Kidman, Orton saying that as a 3rd generation superstar and the son of the legendary Cowboy Bob Orton, he was taught to respect his elders…but he was also taught to take what is rightfully his…

Cena says something in a rhyme and shows Morley the big clock around his neck, “yo time is up, son”

And they brawl. 3 on 3 – the advantage swings to the veterans when Spike and Stevie enter on their side, and they drive the kids from the ring.

4. Booker T d. Matt Hardy
Simple feud, recall that after over a year, Van Dam finally prevailed in his long feud with Matt at XX, a feud that saw them double turn. A pissed off Matt has now been called out by Book, who only wrestles to get paid, because Bischoff owes Book money from ’03, when he hired Book to take RVD out.

Booker goes over. GOT TO GET PAID, in a seemingly innocuous fashion – but as Matt exits…he reconsiders..and in a manner that seemingly surprises everyone (production had to cut back to the ring for this, as it had started the next highlight package) comes back to the ring and grabs the mic…Matt says he’s been in the WWF since 1994, he worked as a Clique Ring Boy, everyone knows him – he and his brother Jeff were two time tag team champions – and Matt just wanted to tell everyone in the WWF, from the announcers to the other wrestlers – to Vince McMahon himself – to fuck off.

The people are surprised, obviously.

Matt says, one more thing – I quit. And throws down the microphone, exiting the arena through the crowd.

The announce, unsurprisingly has no idea what to do with this – so they throw it to the highlight package for the next match.

5. NO DQ: Edge d. HHH
Edge goes over HHH in his return to the ring after a year and a half; it’s all garbage, as Edge is a garbage wrestler now. Blood and broken things. Edge takes the sledgehammer from Hunter, drives it into his head, and then spears HHH through the table for the win. Edge stands on the buckle, makes the sign of the Clique for the face pop. Which, hopefully, he gets.

6. Unified Tags: Rey/RVD d. Flair/Leviathan
The men who once feuded over the IC add tag belts, RVD pinning Flair with the frog splash. The announce notes the absence of Chavo, the third Horsemen, still gone since his loss to Eddy at XX, and speculate as to why he wouldn’t be there for his stablemates. As Flair exits, it’s also fair to speculate how many more matches he has left – and if, in fact, that wasn’t his last title match.

7. Worldwide Titles: Jericho (w/Trish) d. Eddy d. London
Jericho wins his 3 rd IC, placing him only behind Michaels all time. This is rock star Jericho – Jericho’s the burned out rocker – Trish his junkie model girlfriend. As close as we can get to implying they’re coked up all the time, that’s what I want to do. Jericho now wrestles shirtless in the leather pants. Eddy is pure, warm babyface Eddy – London is pure, high energy, Clique babyface.

Important Jericho spot is a Trish spot where after a London bump to the outside, Trish gives him as X rated a kiss as they can get away with – perhaps she licks his stomach - then kicks London in the head. This pisses Jericho off – and he slaps her hard across the face – she slaps him hard back.

That’s not related to the finish – it’s just establishing the gimmick – the two of them fight, physically fight all of the time. And then they make up. And trash a hotel room. They're always both bruised up, their promos become more and more incoherent, any drug rumors that can be placed in the sheets would be helpful. It's kinda Sid and Nancy, kinda Jericho as Jim Morrison. They're fried.

It’s one fall to a finish – they have Jericho pin London (who gets in as many spots as possible, he doesn't get many PPV shots in this stretch, it helps to make them count) to protect Eddy for the next thing. Jericho lays Eddy out with the belt postmatch – save by Chavo.

Chavo returns – and it’s to save his uncle Eddy, with whom he has been feuding for awhile. Jericho and Trish make out/pass out in the aisle.

8. Undisputed Championship: 2 of 3 falls: Benoit d. Angle (w/Regal/Benjamin/Haas)
Canadian crowd hot for Benoit – we give them what they need. They kick Team Angle from ringside early. Recall the stip is the 3 rd fall is submission only, as neither man has tapped to the other (or to anyone, ever) and so we have that to sell.

Doesn’t much matter who wins what fall – Benoit does his thing, Angle is a complete heel. We trade submissions all over the place for the third fall, we have Angle put Benoit in the sharpshooter to particularly piss everyone off – in the end, it’s Benoit, rolling from the anklelock into the crossface – beating Angle, winning the rubber match, and keeping his straps.

Angle throws a fit postmatch, smashing up some stuff at ringside, absolutely enraged as the move from "Angle who loves being a heel" to "Roided up heel Angle" is underway. The show ends with Benoit in the aisle, holding up his three belts – and Angle throwing chairs, busting up the monitors, hitting the Angle Slam on the Spanish Announce.

Survivor Series is coming from Cleveland.

And, for the first time since Angle took him out on RAW, Vince returns - he says that the TitanTrust, sadly, will not be returning, that at the Royal Rumble next year an announcement will be made as to who will lead the WWF creatively, but for tonight, he has an announcement, the Number One Contender’s Battle Royal which was not held after Mania – will be held – and it will be held on RAW – tonight!

Angle music. Angle hits the ring, says that he isn’t here to stop the battle royale this time – he’s here to enter as number one, throw everyone else out, go to Survivor Series and become a 3 time WWF Champion!

Vince says – nope. None of that’s going to happen. Since you decided to attack the TitanTrust back in April, when we tried to do this the last time – I've decided that it’s only fitting that you are excluded from this year’s battle royal – and since we only do this every other year – if you want to win it – you’ll have to wait until 2006!

Fans cheer, you know, like they do – Angle fumes – then goes to the announce, grabs a headset – and decides he’s going to do commentary if they won’t let him wrestle and become a gold medalist at that too.

It’s Battle Royale time – winner gets Benoit at Survivor Series – place your bets…

1. Tajiri
2. Yang
-It’s the tag partners leading off spot. Recall, they aligned Tajiri with Ultimo, both against Yang, they then brought Yang into the fold, but at Mania, Ultimo turned on Tajiri – Yang came to Tajiri’s aid – and that wrapped up Ultimo. All year long, from today forward until we pass the Rumble, Tajiri and Yang will be feuding with the Spreekillers, Helms and Rhyno. None of that ever makes PPV, but it’s good TV.

3. Benjamin
-Okay, Shelton’s going to turn black. He’s going to evolve over the course of the summer into S$ (S Money, see 'cause his name is Benjamin) Bling, entrance music, his promos, a posse – S Money (S$) as Angle is calling him right now on the announce will be “Keepin’ it Gangsta.” I think many people have always wondered why such an obvious heat gimmick, the modern day black athlete - a Terrell Owens/Allan Iverson gimmick really hasn't been tapped by WWF.

And that gimmick is just part of the new Team Angle gimmick - which I'm totally stealing from The Shield. The new Kurt Angle character is Vic Mackey, he's already bald, and when he's not wrestling, he's in jeans, a t-shirt, and mirrored sunglasses. Benjamin's his Shane Vendrell, the young protegee, and Angle will encourage every move Benjamin makes to get more gangsta. Charlie's gonna be Lem, friendly, genial, sensitive, a little too soft for the gig - but everyone likes him - the particular dynamic here is that Benjamin likes him, given what we've already established as the backstory between the two - Charlie's really Benjamin's only link to his earlier humanity. Regal doesn't have a Strike Team analogue - Regal's still Arn to Angle's Flair. Regal's the enforcer of the group. Not complicated.

It's Team Angle.

Anyway – Tajiri and Yang obviously attack Benjamin – leading Angle to leap from the announce – hit the ring – and he and S Money (get used to it) dump both (30) Jimmy and (29) Tajiri.

Angle sneers and leaves the ring to go back to the announce, putting on his headset to gloat.

4. Rey
-One half of the Unified tag champs – and if you think the pairing of he and Van Dam largely came out of nowhere, what’s your point, exactly?

5. London
-Fresh of the IC shot the night before comes the young Cliquester, super high energy Paul London – and now we have some threeway action going. Like yo' momma likes it. Aw, yeah.

6. Shoeless Rob Conway
-We introduced Conway briefly in the 64 man tournament, now we give him a gimmick – he’s the bumpkin. Young, a little wild easily led. We’re gonna stick him with…

7. The NeoCon George Herbert Bradshaw III
-This is Bradshaw’s new gimmick. We give him his current look and rap, I like the suits and the cowboy hat. Bradshaw’s all Texas. We’re gonna have him spout the same political schtick that he uses on the road or on Fox News – and he’s a heel. We put stuff in his mouth like it was sure good that we passed that tax cut for the rich – or we’re just about to find the weapons of mass destruction, if you people would just tell your sons and daughters over in Iraq to look a little harder or Bin Ladin’s not really that big a deal, so it’s okay we haven’t got him – whatever ridiculous White House spin is in the air – he’s gonna say it and we’ll frame him as an idiot.

The name's a double wordplay, Bush 41's first middle name (rich dudes have lots of middle names) was Herbert, and this makes his initials GHB, 'cause who doesn't love some rasslin' drug humor?

He’s gonna try to convince the young guys to enlist, that it’s their duty to join his army – first is Conway. Eventually, when they turn Morley, this is where he’ll go, since he’s of a similar political mindset. Right now, Bradshaw and Conway brawl while the other three continue.

8. Orton
9. Cena
-tag partners, obviously, they just sent the Dudleys out of the WWF at Summer Slam – they go in on Conway’s side as Bradshaw tries to call time out to counsel them on their futures as Young NeoCons. They don’t want to hear it and wear him out. The other 3 way continues as the ring fills up.

10. Bob
-Bob came in on Dinsmore’s side at Summer Slam, whereas Orton and Cena came in on Kidman’s – so they just brawled last night – meaning Bob goes in with Bradshaw to make it a 3 on 2, while the Benamin/Rey/London three way continues.

That’s too many guys in the ring – Angle exasperatedly says on the announce – how can S Money rock his new gimmick if that guy with no shoes on is pulling focus?

Angle enters, dumps Conway (28) and when Bradshaw extends a hand to thank him – he dumps Bradshaw too (27). Angle returns to the announce.

11. Stevie
-Stevie joins Bob, as did he last night, against Orton and Cena. 3 way continues.

12. Leviathan
-Uh oh. Stevie (26). Bob (25). Cena (24). Orton (23). Big man’s gotsta eat. Leviathan roars – shakes the ropes. The Ultimate Batista!

13. Morley
(22) Morley. Big man was still hungry.

14. Chavo
-Okay, Chavo, like Leviathan is a Horseman – which Chavo is quick to remind Leviathan of as soon as he got in the ring and saw the fire in his eyes. Chavo throws up the four fingers fast – Leviathan pauses for a moment – but responds – and the two men then attack the Benjamin/Rey/London 3 way.

Recall, there’s Horseman tension. Chavo didn’t appear at ringside to aid Flair and Leviathan in their tag team loss last night – but did appear to save Uncle Eddy from Jericho one match later. Now, here Chavo is, professing Horseman loyalty.

15. RVD
16. Edge
17. Regal

-All come in to aid their stablemates – Van Dam and Rey are tag champs – Regal and Benjamin are part of Team Angle – Edge and London are Clique. So, now we have an 8 man, effectively. Time to clear the ring a bit. London(21) is tossed by the Horsemen. Rey (20) by Team Angle. Benjamin (19) by RVD.

18. Kidman
-With Benjamin eliminated – Angle hops off the headset – and he and S Money seize the opportunity to attack the also eliminated Rey – they doubleteam him on the outside – leading RVD to eliminate himself (18) by diving to the outside to wipe them out. The four men then brawl to the back.

19. Spike. The old guy/new guy rivalry continues (although, I’m unsure how Spike is a grizzled vet and Kidman a young upstart – but there you go) as Spike and Kidman brawl, as did they the night before, while Chavo fights Edge and Leviathan tries to eliminate Regal.

20. Rhyno
-We’ll let him gore both Spike and Kidman to get his pop.

21. Helms
-SpreeKillers! And they’re gonna go right after the Horsemen – leading to some two on two there, allowing Edge and Regal to go at it – and Spike and Kidman to resume their fight.

22. PAUL~
-The Big Giant chokeslams everyone in the ring – except for Leviathan – who blocks the chokeslam and then bodyslams big PAUL.

23. Undertaker
-Cause that’s the program, Taker beat Kane the night before – and now makes the slow, Dead walk to the ring – slow enough that PAUL is able to rise from the bodyslam to wait the charge. The Taker hits the ring and the two brawl.

24. Haas
-Charlie comes in with Regal, they double team Edge. Horsemen v. Spree Killers. Spike v. Kidman. UT v. PAUL. 11 guys in the ring. Here comes 12…



25. Christian
-I want the big face pop for Christian. Gone since Mania when he took the big Hell in the Cell bump – then dragged himself out for the formation of the Nu Clique and the face turn in the Michaels save.

But he comes in now to join his brother – and they go to work, eliminating Regal (17) and Haas (16) --- while the Horsemen overcome Rhyno (15) and then Helms (14). Edge and Christian then double team Spike (13) and Kidman (12) – while Leviathan monstrously clotheslines PAUL (11) and then the Taker (10) out of the ring…

…big multiple elimination pop as suddenly the ring only contains Chavo, Leviathan, Edge, and Christian.

26. Jordan
-We met Orlando in the 64 man tourney, he’s a ping pong ball here, knocked around by both sides.

27. Book
-We’re putting the black guys together. Sad, really. Book decides to save Jordan – and the angle we’re gonna run is Jordan looks up to Book, “hey bookerman, teach me how to get paid” . That leads to Jordan getting tossed by Edge and Christian (9) and Book by Leviathan and Chavo (8).

3 men left – 4 in the ring – who will go to Survivor Series to meet Benoit? Who? Who? Who?

28. Flair.
Wooooooooo!!!! Flair is in and the Horsemen have the numbers – Edge gets dumped (7) and now it’s 3 on 1 against Christian – but he’s able to overcome the odds in a babyface way – and toss Flair out (6). Big face pop by the Christian Coalition!

29. Eddy
Guerrero just lost the IC last night – he enters and goes for the Big man, Leviathan, which keeps Leviathan from Christian.

Eddy/Leviathan. Christian/Chavo. 1 man left. Final Five

30. Jericho
Here comes the IC Champ, Trish in tow. He takes his time to get to the ring – Leviathan has Eddy almost eliminated, ready to go --- Christian disengages from Chavo to get his long awaited shot in at Jericho (a reminder in a minute) allowing Chavo to go to Leviathan/Eddy…and instead of helping Leviathan eliminate his uncle…he helps Eddy eliminate Leviathan! (5)

The Big Man has to be restrained by every security guard in the building, he screams at Chavo that he’s a dead man – Eddy eyes his nephew, who, after their long feud, saved him last night and now today, warily…

4 left….

Recall that Christian and Jericho feuded all through 2003, that was DarkJericho, taunted by Christian and Trish over the Stacy/Lance hookup. That feud turned both guys and culminated in Trish’s turn at XX in the Hell in the Cell when they tossed Christian off the top. This is his return –his first chance to get even.

Chavo and Jericho fought just last night when Jericho took Eddy’s belt.

And last night, Jericho did take Eddy’s belt – further, they’ve been feuding in the WWF literally for 4 years – and in the NWA before that – Jericho/Eddy is now an all time legendary war – so the other 3 guys in the ring are just itching – Jericho smiles tells them all to kiss his ass.

They toss him over (4).

Big face pop – which Eddy takes advantage of by tossing out Chavo (3).

Eddy shrugs his shoulders and smiles – and then it’s Eddy and Christian, Eddy and Christian – Eddy and Christian – who will go to Survivor Series to wrestle for the Undisputed Title….

Eddy.

Eddy throws Chrsitian over, and has a chance to recapture the World Title – against his longtime best friend – turned rival – turned best friend again – the Crippler Chris Benoit.

And that’s your main event at Survivor Series. Benoit/Eddy for the strap. Two best wrestlers in the company for the top prize in the world.

We’re gonna do Harts/Guerreros stuff in full force now. I want to bring as many Guerreros in as I can get, we’ve teased this storyline before – but I want to go all out to make clear that the Guerreros think of themselves as the first family of professional wrestling – and they think the Harts have stolen their thunder.

We also, and this is really my thinking with this program, explicitly refer to the Dynamite/Steamboat series. WM XX was where is it all began again – and how it began 20 years ago was with the two best wrestlers in the company going head up for the strap.

20 years later, here we are. And Benoit, obviously, is the Dynamite Kid, version 2.0.

We’ll also use Jericho and Chavo here, both to egg the animosity on between the two principals (Jericho is full heel and hates Eddy – Chavo we’re unsure about, but he doesn’t express any love for Benoit). We’re gonna do some tags, Guerreros against Jericho and a reluctant Benoit. Some reverse singles matches – and we’re gonna do the IC match out of this program too – Jericho v. the former champ Chavo. As we go all Harts/Guerreros for Survivor Series. It's the all encompassing program.

We set up the tag match in the battle royal. It’s RVD/Rey defending against Angle and Benjamin, S Money is a 2 time tag champ, Angle tries for his first tag belt.

Chrsitian’s gonna make his return to PPV – and he’ll do so against the Freaky Monster Leviathan. We’ll do Flair/Leviathan tags against some combinations of Edge/Christian/London – and finally conclude with Leviathan taking London out pretty good. How will Christian, just 5 months after falling off the Cell, be able to stack up against the Monster?

Edge is gonna wind up in a 3 way. The old guy/new guy program continues, it’s Spike and Kidman who wind up front and center and in a Survivor Series match. They’re doing an in-ring promo that Edge interrupts – spears both of them – then says he’s tired of the old guys, tired of the new guys – the only guys that matter in the WWF are the Clique – and he’s gonna make their Survivor Series match a 3 way.

Booker and Jordan began tagging after the battle royal – we put them in the mix with Yang/Tajiri and the SpreeKillers – out of that whole mess comes a Book/Helms singles match at Survivor Series.

We’ve got Undertaker/PAUL.

The opening tag is again Cena and Orton – they’re tagging against Bradshaw – and his partner, Conway. Shoeless Rob was persuaded to join the NeoCon cause “your name has the word Con in it – that’s gotta be a sign, right?” and so there’s that.

But the thump is at the top – it’s the Harts and the Guerreros – Survivor Series ’04 is coming from Cleveland! Benoit v. Eddy for the WWF Title for the first time ever at PPV, backuped up by Jericho v. Chavo for the Worldwide belts, Rey and Van Dam defend against Angle and S$, and Christian returns to PPV against Leviathan. Survivor Series 2004! Call your cable company!!

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