Older than Twitter. Not quite as profitable. A pro wrestling counterfactual: What if the World Wrestling Federation was organized around workrate, around the idea that the pivotal word in the phrase "sports entertainment" is the first? Can one Ricky Steamboat pinfall put right what once went wrong? Go to the earliest archived post; scroll to December 19, 2005 "it begins" and you're ready to roll.
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Triple H, October 2011:
“When I grew up, I hated Hogan. I thought he was terrible and didn’t like to watch him. I was like Punk in a way. I liked the Steamboats and Flairs and the ones that could go. Would I be right in saying that Hogan was the wrong guy to go with, and they should’ve changed directions and gone with Steamboat because he was the better wrestler? Ludicrous.” - Triple H. October, 2011.
Summer Slam/Survivor Series - 1989
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
WM V and the build for this show are here.
Summer Slam – 1989 East Rutherford
(Dark – Bad News Brown d. Barry Windham)
Gorillia didn't do this show - I assume it was for health reasons and not because he was benched, if that's the case, then they will go, as did they, with Schiavone (shudder) but he's better than Vince and I'm not sure I trust Gene on play by play for a full show. If instead this was just Vince looking for a young PBP voice (not that he would ever do a thing like that...) in the Counterfactual universe, he'd never consider breaking up Gorilla and Jesse.
1. Hogan/Dusty d. Demolition
-Hogan/Big Dust do their legends tag team thing and go over the Dems.
2. Jacques (w/Ray) d. Greg Valentine
-Jacques is the Mountie! Almost. Jacques is gonna get a little bit of a singles run coming up in a modified version of his Mountie gimmick.
3. Jimmy Snuka d. Ultimate Warrior
-Jimmy returns to the company, gets a quick win - postmatch, Hercules runs in - he and the Warrior begin to beat Snuka down - then ignore him while Herc poses and the Warrior rants. "Your pinfalls wil mean nothing in the coming race riots. When Deuteronomy bursts into your world, all that will be left are the men with the purity and beauty to be true Warriors. The Mighty Hercules has heeded the call - and together - we will lead a pilgrimage to the Holy Land and await the Coming Apocalypse. Snort"
And then they make out.
Okay, perhaps not. But the Warrior storyline is heading as gay as he's willing to do. The gimmick is now the juiced up Warrior, with his juiced up buddy Herc, spouting survivalist, militia based, White Man's Burden crap -- while getting his swerve on.
Like a KKK Christopher St. Connection.
So, they don't really do that. But they'll rub each others shoulders, oil each other up - they won't acknowledge, even once, any sort of gay activity, they'll just be occurring, even as the White Power rap coninues. Big, muscle bound, closeted freaks. Good times.
4. The Male Model Rick Martel (w/Entourage) d. Tito Santana
Paul Roma can be his stylist. Koko can do his hair. Poffo can be his assistant, the three of them will also tag as The Entourage. Martel has a half dozen people, all fussing around him at all times. If he's hit in the face by Tito - there are immediate protests. After this, they rematch where Martel leaves after 10 minutes, saying he has another appointment. Rick's character changes a little in that he male models it up more. Posing in the ring - he's not playing gay, not even effeminate, think Zoolander. Lot of pouting. Posing. His people fussing over him. Martel can draw some good heat - and he goes over his old partner here. Might be too much homophobia going on at the same time.
5. Ted DiBiase (w/Virgil) d. Terry Taylor
-Hundred down the mouth.
6. Tags: Cage Match: Rockers d. Brainbusters
-That’s the blow off to the feud, the Rockers finally go over - again, it's a pinfall and not an escape cage match. It's also Tully’s last match. He takes the fall, he and Arn, recall, who are caught up in the Rude/Hennig feud, aren't actively feuding in this match, so as not to detract from the Rockers big win - but they aren't close. And when they drop the straps, Arn and Tully have words and Tully walks out alone.
Arn and Tully are going to feud until Tully leaves, Arn going over, obviously.
7. IC: Rick Rude d. Curt Hennig
-Here’s the end of the Family, the tension in the Heenan Family boils over – Hennig wanted a rematch, Rude and Bobby didn’t want to give him one – the Busters picked sides and they went into their tag match fractured as well. Heenan tried to keep it together – but the Busters exploded and Tully quit – and here, with Bobby calling it right down the middle….
Actually, this time, he doesn’t…Heenan sides with Rude, aiding in the finish, shocking because it’s the first screwjob title finish in the PPV era. Hennig hits the Perfectplex, Heenan puts Rude's free leg on the ropes. Hennig realizes what Bobby'd done and is distracted - allowing Rude to get the roll up win. A shocking result.
Heenan and Rude celebrate by getting out of the ring as fast as they can..Hennig looks shocked, but eventually figures out what has happened and he sprints after them postmatch.
It's time for face Hennig now. Or so the Germans would have you believe...
8. WWF Title: Randy Savage (w/Liz) d. Bret Hart
-Savage, clean, again. Bret loses to Randy one more time.
With the Rockers finally going over - and Hennig only losing to Rude because of a screwjob - and with the buildup for this match focusing on Bret Hart's opportunity to win the Triple Crown - one might expect this is the switch. Nope. Savage, clean with the elbowdrop.
Bret's frustrated - he and Savage go nose to nose after the match (each match grows more hard hitting, dirtier, more contentious - but Shawn and Marty enter again - Marty talking to Savage, Shawn pulling Bret away and talking to him...Savage extends his hand again and Bret accepts it.
The Rockers and Savage go to the buckles, holding their title belts aloft, as Bret looks on, his emotions complicated, perhaps jealousy, or an increased seriousness of purpose, or a realization that he's not quite there yet -- but the camera definitely captures the mixed emotions of Bret the Hit Man Hart as he watches the Rockers and Savage celebrate as the show ends.
So, that gets us to Survivor Series.
This will be the last cleaving of years into only two parts, if you're reading along in sequence (Woooooo!) you'll note that, as promised, this is getting increasingly involved. And it will exponentially increase beyond this. So, beginning in the 90s, every show gets its own post.
Lots going on as the decade ends.
The legendary tag team of Hogan and Dusty work the opening tag again - this time against the newly monikered White Flight, the Warrior and Hercules.
Roddy Piper returns and Piper's Pit is back in business. Piper feuds during the fall with Jake, Piper's come back as a heel, saying that when he left, Jake was as feared as anybody in the WWF, but now he waits for fan approval - and he wants to see that son of a bitch come back. They heat that up over the autumn - selling that Jake and Piper will meet at Survivor Series - but as they get to November - Jake turns. He DDT's Terry Taylor multiple times, and, instead of his usual one snake bag - he pulls out a bag with dozens of smaller snakes - which he pours all over the fallen Taylor. When Taylor returns the week before the show and attacks Roberts - they make that match.
They set up a Piper's Pit to air at Survivor Series - with Jimmy Snuka as the guest.
Tito gets heat back by wiping out Martel's Entourage during a show - and challenging Martel to a
strap match at the PPV.
After Arn runs Tully out - he does singles with both Rockers - Bret face saves each time as Arn attempts to punk the Rockers out. The Rockers shift to a defense of the title against the Rougeaus - while Bret meets Arn in a singles.
The title matches -- Ted brings a briefcase full of money to Bobby and Rude - he says he wants a shot at the IC - doesn't need to buy it, doesn't need to win - he just wants a title shot and he's wiling to pay. Rude tells him to get the hell out of there, but Bobby persuades him that it's an easy payday, they take Ted's money, they keep the gold, it's a win/win.
So, there's that.
The title is babyface/babyface. Hennig, the newly minted babyface challenges Savage. Savage obviously is hesitant to belive that Curt has changed - but Curt face saves him when Rude and Arn attack - they might even do a tag match where Hennig tosses Savage out of the way when Rude attempts a chairshot - taking the full brunt of it himself. Hennig makes the case that Savage gave his friend Bret title shots - and just like that, Savage should give Hennig a shot too.
So, he does.
It's Survivor Series '89, Savage/Perfect for the strap - Rude defends against DiBiase, Rockers against the former tag champs, the Rougeaus, Bret v. Arn, Martel v. Tito in a strap match, Jake v. Terry Taylor, Hogan and Dusty meet White Flight - a very special Piper's Pit, featuring Jimmy Snuka. Call your local cable company!!
Survivor Series – 1989 (Chicago)
PPV returns to Chicago for first time since II. Gorilla's back with Jesse.
(Dark – Bad News Brown/Haku d. Windham/Valentine)
1. Hogan/Dusty d. Hercules/Ultimate Warrior
-Hogan and Dusty roll on as the Legends Tag Team – I like the idea of the Warrior recruiting Herc, dressing him up – both guys with the crazy juiced up bodies, face paint, shaking the ropes, then talking about White Pride. The Warlord and the Barbarian, the Powers of Pain, enter, the four men take Hogan and dusty apart - then compliment each other on their lats - they all pose, apply extra oil to each other, talk about the White Man. The Barbarian looks a little askew at this, but then takes the stick, yells out, "Wake up White People!" and all is well as they go off to their gang bang.
2. Jake Roberts (w/Piper) d. Terry Taylor
-With the encouragement of Piper, who returned in the interim as a heel, Jake goes full heel, cheating at every chance, and DDT’ing Taylor multiple times. Jake and Piper dump the bag of snakes all over Taylor.
3. Roddy Piper (w/Jake) d. Jimmy Snuka
- First, comes Piper's Pit - Piper starts apologizing for the coconut incident, then decides he's not going to apologize, he didn't mean apologize, he meant re-live - he attempts to hit Snuka with the coconut, but Jimmy takes it away from him and smashes it over Piper's head. Jake runs in and he and Snuka brawl, while a bloody Piper takes the mic - challenges Snuka to go right now, fans pop, Snuka accepts, a referee enters -- Jimmy does as much as he can - but after Jake DDT's him on the floor and dumps him back in the ring, all w/o being seen by the official - Piper is able to get the fall. They dump coconuts and cocount paraphernalia all over Snuka.
4. Strap Match: The Male Model Rick Martel (w/Entourage) d. Tito Santana
Rematch from Summer Slam, Martel goes over again. It’s a simple feud, they used to be tag partners, now Martel’s the Model – and he keeps kicking Tito’s ass. Strap match stip is just so Martel can go over again without getting another pinfall over poor Tito.
5. Bret Hart d. Arn Anderson
Bobby doesn’t enter with Arn. Bret clean with the Sharpshooter. It's Arn's last match with the company. After the match, in the back, he confronts the Brain, “What happened to the Family, Bobby – what happened to the Family.” “The Family’s dead, Double A – now it’s just me and the Champ.” Arn packs his bags and leaves. There’s no program with this match – Bret’s feud for the strap with Savage is over – Arn is leaving the WWF – it’s just to re-establish Bret as a winner – and it’s also a helluva good match.
6. Tags: Rockers d. Rougeaus
There’s no feud here either – in fact, this is it for the Rougeaus, Jacques, recall has already started the singles career – and when Ray gets pinned here - Jacques turns on his brother, turning their postmatch hug into a bodyslam. Jacques tears off his Rougeau brother gear, grabbing the Mountie hat that he brought to the ring (no, er, "shock stick" however, Vince hates that crap) Rougeau yells out, "I am the Mountie!" and puts the wood to Ray. They're gonna meet in a singles at the Rumble.
The Rockers do have their own feud coming though. On Saturday Night’s Main Event, in January – they are set to face Hogan and Dusty for the straps – but they never make it out to the ring as they’re jumped…let’s say in the shower, for the homoerotic element the kids love – by Piper and Jake….DDTs to the shower floor – the snake is let loose – maybe a Hitchcock shot of blood going down the drain.
7. IC: Ted DiBiase d. Rick Rude (w/Brain)
Switch. Despite Rude’s concern, Bobby makes the match. During which, Virgil, who didn't come to the ring with Ted, enters with a briefcase – that he hands to Bobby. Bobby opens it up, smiles – hops on the apron –maneuvers himself into position and smashes Rude over the head with it. DiBiase takes advantage – applying the Million Dollar Dream and getting the win. Not only is it a screwjob, but there's no question that Bobby has turned on Rick Rude.
The lock breaks on the case, so it’s open – and the camera can see, obviously, that it’s stuffed with cash. Bobby sold Rude out.
Rude’s unconscious – Virgil puts the strap on his boss – Ted’s first WWF strap – Bobby grabs a headset at the announce – yelling, “I’m gone, Humanoids! You wanted the Heenan Family gone – the Heenan Family is gone – Woo-Hoo! You won’t have Bobby Heenan to kick around anymore – I’ve got a plane to catch.” Bobby grabs the briefcase – waves to the shocked crowd – disappears into the back – and the camera sees him hop into a limo in the parking lot and drive away.
8. WWF Title: Curt Hennig d. Randy Savage (Liz)
Switch. After a year as WWF Champ, and earlier two years as IC Champ, Savage drops. He should have seen it coming – he took this face/face match with his new friend Hennig, as after two such matches with Bret the precedent was set, but out of nowhere in this one – with the fans split down the middle between their two favorites – Heenan re-enters from the crowd, with the briefcase, he waffles Elizabeth over the back of the head, splitting her open (mmmm, splitting Miss Elizabeth open) and distracting Savage enough for Hennig to hit the PerfectPlex --- and get the fall.
Hennig and Brain embrace – Brain looking into the camera “Now, that’s Perfect” as he and Hennig raise the belt aloft. Rick Rude hits the ring hard – going after both men, so we know that he wasn’t involved in the swerve Hennig and Heenan bail out, laughing and pointing at Rude from the aisle.
On the way to WM, Bobby explains to Gene– he didn’t lie to Arn, the Family was dead, and it was just he and the Champ left. Except the Champ was Hennig. Gene asks how Bobby could do this to Rick Rude – Bobby says it was an easy decision – he traded up from the IC belt, took Ted's money, and walked away from Survivor Series a rich man – and with the WWF Championship Belt. Any one of the humanoids would do the same thing if they were in Bobby’s position – but they could never be in Bobby’s position, because they’re not perfect, like the new Heavyweight Champion of the World. Hennig and Bobby laugh and laugh. Suckers.
The decade ends with Starrcade. The Road Warriors keep – 2 years now into their title run. Flair keeps the NWA title in a 5 star match against Muta – and, in the rare circumstance when the secondary belt is the main event – Sting keeps the US belt against Luger. Following the match the other 3 Horsemen (Flair, Pillman, Shane Douglas) hit the ring – and punk Luger and Sting out – allowing for the introduction of the newest member of the Horsemen – Arn Anderson, returning to the NWA just two weeks after Survivor Series. Arn and Flair are reunited, and the Horsemen ride strong into the 90’s. They're a little shorthanded, so they give Muta the extra push with the multiple wins. Muta wrestles four times on one PPV, still unprecedented.
Starrcade – 1989 Atlanta
US Title: Sting d. Luger
NWA Title: Ric Flair d. Great Muta
Tags: Road Warriors d. Doom
Great Muta draw Lex Luger
Great Muta d. Scott Steiner
Great Muta d. Rick Steiner
Ron Simmons d. Butch Reed
Doom d. Wild Samoans
The first PPV of the 90s will be the Rumble from Orlando. Hogan and Dusty look for revenge against the Powers of Pain. Jacques meets Ray as the Rougeaus explode. They hotshot a Martel/Savage program. No Liz, she's gone selling the briefcase shot - Martel decides to taunt Randy about the loss of his wife and his belt - Savage is the wrong man to taunt, and there's that match. The Rockers, recall, are attacked in the showers by the veterans Jake and Piper - so there's that. Bret, former 2 year IC champ, looks to regain his belt against Ted. And your big main event - Rick Rude, now a babyface, challenges his former best friend, Curt Hennig, this time for the WWF Title. Perfect's never beaten Rude at anything, including 2 IC losses, but now he has the Brain, who screwed Rude out of that IC, at his side.
The Heenan Family Explodes at Royal Rumble '90!
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