Road to Royal Rumble 2013

Survivor Series was here.

8 years we’ve been doing this?  How the hell did that happen?

Thanks to readers new and less new.  As long as Daniel Bryan’s a B+ player in the real world, I guess we’ll keep this world going.

Royal Rumble 2013 is in January.

Here’s the card.

WWF Title: Bryan Danielson v. Dos Caras, Jr.

-Set up in the prior build and really finalized at the show close of Survivor Series, this match is announced immediately.  There’s not a ton of interaction between the two in this build; Caras is a little broad for a main event program; we’re just going to let him exist in that space here – he and Vickie are preparing for the wedding.  That’s a comedy angle, Vickie as Bridezilla, she torments the bridesmaids to lose weight (they’re all the divas, nonexistent to this date but now introduced here in order to create characters for the E show; AJ is a put upon babyface and Nattie returns as a tormenting heel here) and learn wedding reception choreography, she gives them hideous dresses and makes them cut their hair and run her errands.  Various vignettes looking to build to the wedding and enrich the Dos Caras universe.  It’s too cartoonish for Danielson, really, he doesn’t get intertwined with the drive to the wedding – we’ll see him as leader of an increasingly tight GDI, which not only has he as champ but Claudio in the finals of the IC tournament.  Danielson, WWF Champ for a year, just does his work.  4 stars with Dos Caras?  Fine, let’s go.     

The wedding happens at the go home RAW, the guests are all second/third generation guys, either with the company or whomever can be brought in for the day – and the widows/girlfriends of deceased wrestlers, which won’t be mentioned by the announce, it’s just a black comedy easter egg for the hardcores. All the divas with bad dresses and haircuts, some worker in heavy makeup as the minister, similar to real world Bischoff in the Chuck/Billy wedding (right wedding?).

At the appropriate time the ceremony is interrupted by the Rock’s music.  All 3 Usos enter, followed by the Rock – Rock stays on the ramp while the Usos blow up the wedding; the male guests are all beaten up, the female guests run screaming – Roman Reigns Uso spears the minister through the set.  The segment ends with the Rock holding up his IC belt and saying he hopes Dos Caras wins the WWF Title on Sunday – and when the Rock retains his IC Title Sunday, then the two of them will go Title v. Title, for the first time in Wrestlemania history – at WM 29. 

IC Title: The Rock v.__________

Nick Nemeth v. Claudio Castagnoli

-The IC tournament now is down to 2; Nemeth got a pretty large babyface reaction at Survivor Series, and Claudio is a much liked wrestler for the GDI inclined fanbase – the result is going to be more than a few boos for the Rock as he mixes in the build. 

Nemeth is a day away from the Triple Crown and he is full on hungry for it – it is the ultimate demonstration of wrestling immortality and he’s two wins away.  Claudio remains happy go lucky, ready for the biggest match and maybe matches of his life.  Rock does taped promos on both guys in his jokey Rock manner, he and the IC belt are in fabulous locations; big houses, expensive cars, between Kate Upton’s breasts, that sort of thing.  That will draw Regal and Steamboat together in mutual irritation.  They aren’t at their wrestlers sides much in the build, there’s space between Nemeth and Regal to allow for a greater babyface reaction for Nemeth, and Hero moves closer to being Claudio’s mouthpiece; but they’re still the heads of the competing factions.  They  appear on a Heyman Hustle (one of two he does in the build, we’ll discuss the second) with Mick Foley to voice the opposition one last time to the decision to allow Rock to take the IC with him, to insinuate that Foley let his relationship with the Rock guide his judgment, and for Foley to once again, end the argument with the tournament will be his response to that criticism, making Sunday judgment day.   Heyman ends the segment by reminding Steamboat that in case he’s forgotten, Brock Lesnar is real and he’s here for Danielson. 

Tag Titles: Defiance v. Empire v. Douchebags

-The non finish in the number one contenders match at Survivor Series makes this a three way.  The relaxed rules nature of the tag division under Foley and the numbers of men as part of each team gives us a lot of bodies to deal with for this match.  Orton/Bernard/Rhodes are Defiance – Orton’s won the tag title 4 times with 4 partners, and like every asshole, when he is on top he is insufferable (and when he’s not it’s everyone else’s fault); Douchebags are Sandow/Ryder/Slater/Curtis – Curtis joined the group from developmental at Survivor Series in the beatdown of Empire, which is now Barrett/Gabriel and, as part of the build, Ryback, who comes from developmental to help balance the ranks with the loss of Kidd (presumably taken out by DBags who were responding to Hawkins having presumably been taken out by Empire)  They can all fight pretty much constantly in all possible combinations in the build – the story between the two Underground teams is that Cole will finally, finally pick between the teams at the Rumble. There's a spot in the build when a bunch of guys from both Douchebags and Empire are on the ramp and Pac takes them out with the dive from the video wall.  That's now happened 3-4 times over the course of the year.  

 

JerichoDeath v. CM Punk

-Chris Jericho, always with the Sabu light cue gimmick, appears soon after Survivor Series to explain.  Essentially – he has nothing left to do.  He’s won all of the belts, from the NWA to the Triple Crown, and he’s been through all of the incarnations, Lionheart, #7, Y2J, JerichoDark, The Lizard King, The Champ – and what should he do now?  Win the IC again?  He could, but why?  Get a tag team partner?  He could, but why?  He’s had catchphrases, finishing moves, been the fans favorite wrestler and booed out of the building.  There’s nothing left – and when there’s nothing left – you’re dead. 

  He’s JerichoDeath.

But that totally frees him – a ghost can do anything it wants.  He can come when he wants, leave when he wants – if he wants to make CM Punk blow him in the middle of the ring – he’s going to do that, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.  Being dead is the best time of his life. 

And then the lights go out and he’s gone.

Subtextually, he’s added a lot of Edge to the persona (Edge was the guy Jericho couldn’t beat) and going after Punk (who took Edge’s title, Edge had taken from Jericho) is designed to reinforce that.  That’s also not the type of thing you’d get from the announce.  Jericho isn’t going to spear anyone, for example, he’s not aping Edge at that level.

He and Punk do some dueling promos – Jericho positions Punk as sort of a discount Jericho; Jericho plays sold out rock shows around the world, Punk knows a lot about Rancid; Jericho’s hosted his own network reality show, Punk was on G4 a couple of times; Jericho’s ex is banging George Clooney, Punk’s ex is banging the 11^th best wrestler in Ring of Honor.

Punk positions Jericho as Yesterday.  The reason he talks about Fozzy or Dancing with the Stars or Best Week Ever or whatever bullshit he’s doing is he can’t talk about winning wrestling matches because he doesn’t do that anymore.  When Jericho’s talking to Kelly Ripa, Punk’s winning 3 WWF Titles. 

They’ll appear together on that second Heyman Hustle, which allows for Heyman to dig into Punk a little bit, allows for Punk’s medical condition post-Lesnar to be discussed, allows for Jericho to hit Punk with the only thing he says that gets under Punk’s skin, that Jericho isn’t the only one whose best days are behind him, that what Punk’s best at now is carrying Danielson’s bags.

Heyman, at segment’s end, reminds Punk that Brock Lesnar is real, and he’s only here – only here – for Danielson. 

Rey Mysterio v. Mistico

Rey cuts a promo at the beginning of January apologizing to the fans.  He says he got suckered by Dos Caras in a way that wouldn’t have happened five years ago; and he doesn’t want revenge, it’s his own fault.  He says he’s started to slip, he knows it – and he needs to shut it down for awhile.  Rey says he isn’t ready to say it’s his last match, but after the Rumble, he’s going back home for the rest of 2013.  Rey says he hopes to come back at Wrestlemania 30 – but just can’t promise anything right now.  Rey brings Mistico out, says Mistico is a hero in Mexico and if this is Rey’s last match, he wants it to be against him.

And that’s it, it doesn’t get more complicated than that – there are taped pieces from the babyfaces talking about what Rey has meant to them to add to the “maybe Rey is retiring” element of the match.

Taped Fist Match: PAUL v. Sheamus

-Paul knocked Sheamus the fuck out at Survivor Series and it’s now his life, giant babyface with a big right hand, he knocks out some bottom card guys in the build – so does Sheamus, as he gets a rematch centered around Paul’s specialty – they’re gonna tape their fists and fight.

John Cena v. Miz

-Building off their portion of the IC tournament build, Miz is now a heel so can poke at Cena’s true blue WWF forever babyfaceness. 

 That's your show - add in some of those taped Shield vignettes, some drop ins on the next developmental class training Underground, with Ryback (who as mentioned, gets called up during the build) Big E Langston, and Joe Hennig, and Steamboat being said to be close to a major GDI signing that may come to fruition at the Rumble and you have your show.  Heyman will once again be joining JR and Joey for the announce - it's gonna be a happening!

Survivor Series 2012

The build is here.

Survivor Series 2012 is in Indianapolis

(Dark: Tyler Black d. Pac)

The open is taped footage from earlier in the evening, CM Punk is alone in the ring in the still empty arena – Steamboat enters the ring, from this we get two quick facts (1) Steamboat’s still trying to talk Punk out of wrestling tonight, he’s again unsuccessful and (2) Steamboat’s also trying to talk Punk out of another decision he’s made, also unsuccessful, that decision is not revealed to us.

The announce is Joey/JR/Heyman

Heyman is a surprise.  A running theme throughout the night is his continuing promise that Brock Lesnar will not show up. 

A theme in the opening three matches, all Underground matches, is Heyman’s attacking Regal as insufficiently running Underground and not the man to be placed in charge of the developmental center which has just broken ground and will be operational next year.

1.       Mistico d. Tyson Kidd

2.       PAUL d. Sheamus (w/Regal)

3.       Empire (Barrett/Gabriel) draw Douchebags (Sandow/Ryder)

Okay, all of these first three matches are Underground matches so let’s stick them together.

The opener is not a tag, but it was scheduled to be; Sandow refuses to come to the ring unless Douchebags are introduced last.  While negotiations go on, the Mistico/Kidd tag match is placed first.  Neither Cole nor Regal comes to the ring with Kidd as they’re both still dealing with the tag issue – and he gets beat in what, ideally, is a pretty good match.  Heyman blames the specific loss on Regal for not being there and more broadly blames Regal for allowing this situation between the tag teams to get so far out of hand. 

We see Regal, now in Empire’s locker room, yelling at Barrett to just go out first.  Barrett pushes back that this means Sandow got his way – Regal says he doesn’t have time to banter, just do what he says.

Sheamus has the better of PAUL, as you’d expect, Heyman notes that Regal is clearly distracted, not giving his full energy to securing this win for Sheamus – and out of nowhere, PAUL connects with a right hand on Sheamus’s chin, dropping him cold and gets the pinfall.

It’s the biggest singles win PAUL has had in years, Heyman, upon the punch yells out “Sheamus just got knocked the fuck out” – because he does what he wants.

On RAW tomorrow, PAUL will be wearing a KTFO t-shirt.  Merch!

Empire comes to the ring first in the next match, there’s a delay – and then the video wall shifts to a shot of Cole (who still hasn’t chosen between the two teams) shouting over the clearly broken body of Kidd, who, like Hawkins was in the build, has been attacked in such a manner that he will not be able to name his assailants. 

It’s then that Douchebags hit the ramp – Empire assumes this is payback for the Hawkins assault, Sandow shrugs his shoulders and, in subsequent weeks, he will assume the same posture of “if you want to say I did it – fine” confession that Barrett has taken about the Hawkins attack.

This match never gets in the ring and is thrown out – Barrett and Gabriel attack, Sandow and Ryder start out with a man advantage because they have Slater, and that advantage becomes two when Fandango Johnny Curtis (who fans who watch the developmental training at WWFU.com or via the WWF app would know, as Joey points out) joining Douchebags. 

That becomes Douchebags going forward – Sandow/Curtis/Ryder/Slater – they stand above Empire while Heyman shouts about Regal having totally lost control of his men.

4.       IC Tournament: Claudio Castagnoli (w/Steamboat) d. John Cena

5.       IC Tournament: Nick Nemeth d. The Miz

We hit the IC tournament matches.  JR sits out for these matches and Foley, as the tournament is his baby, joins Joey and Paul – that’s a three man combination that has a good deal of history to draw from, making for interesting discussion – the driving force of that discussion is Heyman critiquing Foley, he let his friend Rock leave the promotion with the IC belt in an unprecedented decision – and his commissionership is essentially being measured on the success of this tournament.

 Claudio goes over Cena; the Nemeth/Miz match is noteworthy as Regal doesn’t come to the ring; we’re told he went to the hospital with Kidd, so Nemeth, who, as we’ve noted, has been getting increased cheers over the year just given the nature of the style now comes to the ring without a heel manager and is up against Miz, who, as noted, has largely been acting as a heel and getting that increasing response.

I’d expect a wide, wide distance in cheering in this match and they don’t fight it – there’s a certain sweet spot to cheering for a heel, it doesn’t extend too far or the heel is then a face, but there’s a window of time where it feels exactly right for a crowd to cheer a heel; it rubs against authority, it expresses approval for a particular attitude, you can feel a sense of agency over your own fandom – it’s good; that’s this match, I think – I don’t know who cheers for Miz in this match but I probably don’t like them.

Postmatch, Claudio returns, he and Nemeth go nose to nose, Foley is pleased, this is a good matchup, it’s Underground v. GDI – the Rock’s music then plays; the Rock appears on the video wall in what is claimed to be a live shot, he’s holding the belt, he says he’ll be seeing either Claudio or Nemeth at the Rumble – and teases that he might be seeing them sooner than that.

6.       Tags: Defiance (Orton/Bernard) d. Young Money (Killings/Kingston)

This wraps Young Money; the match is relaxed rules, which is the stip promised to Kingston and it’s become a Foley hallmark for tag matches, that allows Rhodes to jump in and this becomes 3 on 2.  They crash through some tables, Bernard gets the fall – Killings takes Ortons punt, the Golden Goal postmatch, which, the next time we see him will have cured his amnesia and he’s once again just crazy guy Killings.

This is Orton’s 4 tag title with 4 different partners and Bernard is the first man to hold the IWGP, GHC, and WWF tag belts, they’re put over as all time tag specialists and Defiance is now on top of the tag world once again.

7.       Dos Caras, Jr. (w/Vicki and Ricardo) d. CM Punk

Punk comes to the ring alone, we’re reminded of the pre-show conversation with Steamboat – Punk’s chosen to do this by himself.

Here’s where Heyman can shift to putting over Brock, the story of this match is Punk’s really too hurt to work, the word “concussion” is used – a new element of Punk’s character becomes that guys sort of stop hitting him in the head.  Not entirely, but if there were a chair shot for example, it would clearly be on the back.  It’s not that he doesn’t take suplexes or get punched in the face – but it’s a thing that exists that isn't really talked about, that even his opponents don't take unprotected shots at his head. It's subtext. 

Dos Caras is smart, capable, and has two people on the outside who really take advantage of Steamboat not being there – and that’s enough to get him the biggest win of his career, a pinfall over 3 time WWF Champion Punk.

There’s a pretty good celebration in the ring – Heyman says Brock may have permanently ended Punk’s career as an elite wrestler. After Dos Caras exists with Punk still in the ring, the lights go out.

When they go back on - in the ring is a man in leather pants with a pink and black hood covering his face, he's standing above Punk, who clearly has been knocked out while the lights were out.  

He pulls off the hood - it's Jericho.  He picks up Punk by the hair and shoves Punk's head into his crotch, miming forcing Punk to blow him.  Lights off.  Lights back on - Jericho's gone.  

8.       WWF Title: Bryan Danielson (w/Steamboat) d. Rey Mysterio

-Most important thing here is it’s the best match they can have; it might be Mysterio’s last title shot; this hasn’t been a good workrate show particularly, most of the wrestling value really needs to come from this match. 

-Paul looks to put Danielson over, it’s a shift in tone from the rest of the show – Paul really valorizes all of Danielson’s decisions, concluding that’s why people call him the best wrestler in the world. 

-Midmatch, Dos Caras comes to ringside to cheer on Mysterio.  Postmatch, Dos Caras gets in the ring and as dismissively as he can, throws him over the top rope and to the floor.  Dos Caras and Danielson throw hands in mid ring as the show ends.  

The following night on RAW, we're given the main event for the Rumble - it's Danielson v. Dos Caras, Jr. for the strap.  And in the go home RAW before the Rumble, a Counterfactual First - a wrestling wedding, as Dos Caras and Vicki Guerrero become one.

I'll be back in December with the build for the Rumble as What If....hits its 8th anniversary.