Royal Rumble 1999

Survivor Series '98 is here.

Royal Rumble 1999 Anaheim
(Dark – Taka/Togo d. Del Santo/Aguila)

It's the new announce team! Michael Cole! Jerry Lawler! Michael Hayes!

Yeah, I know.

1. Edge/Christian (w/Hardys) d. New Age Outlaws
A page is turning here – E and C beat the former tag champs clean – they try to stay cool after the win – posing in the ring – but the Hardys are extra excited for them “You guys beat the Billy and the Dogg! Woo-hoo!” and that breaks the E and C façade. Hardys lead the Let Them Play chant. E and C didn’t wear their Ring Boys gear during this match, busting out some crazy coats and sunglasses. Hardys legitimately excited for their boys.

2. Kane d. Lawler/Taylor
Unannounced piece of destruction. He’s big and red and his name is Kane, it's his first appearance since XIV. Lawler and Taylor may never win a match. Kane's fireworks go off - and then the lights go out.

When they go back on - Kane is lying amidst the shards of a table at ringside.

Who could have done that? Who could have put Kane through a table?

The Undertaker comes down the aisle, is he coming to finish his brother off? Did he put his brother through a table? What the hell's going on around here, Jerry Lawler?

'Taker looks concerned, aiding Kane, who has been completely knocked out, back up the aisle.

Huh.

3. Flag Match: The Abolitionist Ulysess Morley d. Southern Man Dustin Rhodes (w/Jarrett)
Morley grabs the Confederate flag and batters Dustin and Jarrett with it – Morley gets the Liberation Falls and the win. Jarrett steals the American flag in the post match, taking it to the back. Jeff Jarrett – the Southern Man – he’s got the American flag – what sort of dastardly thing does he have in mind? What, Jerry Lawler? What?

-In the back, we see Edge and Christian, say, with some girls, leaving the building – whomever our backstage guy is (Kevin Kelley, gotsta be some Kevin Kelley) asks aren’t they going to stay for Jeff’s big match against Scorpio – they say nah, Jeff’s got it covered – besides, E and C are gonna get they freak on.

4. Jeff Hardy (w/Matt) d. Scorpio (w/Markie)
Terrific flying match, my apologies to 2 Cold for jobbing him out, I really do like the guy a lot. In the Death Valley Driver polls, I picked him over AJ, but not over Otani, for example. Anyway, Jeff gets the Hardys biggest ever win – it’s Scorpio’s last PPV shot, so he can put Jeff over squeaky clean here. Matt and Jeff celebrate wildly after the match – the fans just love those boys. Trish comes down to the ring – mmmm, Trish, she hugs Matt – gives Jeff a big kiss. It’s just a sweet story is all. She's not a beard. Cut that out.

5. Octagon: Ken Shamrock d. Dan Severn
Obviously, Shamrock gets some heat back after losing to Austin and Foley by tapping Severn out. It's not a shoot, 'cause this is a wrestling show, so it's all worked, but it should feel like a shoot.

6. Tags: Maivia/DLo (w/Markie) d. HHH/Waltman
The second tag run for the Rock and DLo continues. Outlaws interfere to cost HHH a fall on the Rock – although the fall, Rock pinning Waltman, winds up being clean. I want to see an extended spot where Waltman is out after taking a bump to the outside and HHH has to hold off a double teaming Nation.

In the end, though, it’s the Rock and Dlo – hip hopping their way to another win – and the former Clique is headed for a big showdown.

7. IC: Steve Austin d. Al Snow (w/Head)
Al’s all heart. He takes a tremendous beating from Austin – like he did from the Undertaker – and saves numbers of nearfalls – but, finally it’s Stunner, pinfall. Austin is impressed – tossing Snow a beer after the match – Al takes it – chugs it down, pours the rest over Head in a celebratory fashion – then does his trademark moonsault to the canvas. Al has to be helped from the ring.

8. WWF Title: Barbed Wire Match: Owen Hart d. Cactus Jack
Owen wins his 3 rd WWF Title, he and Bret being the only men in history to do that. We need to do three things here – one, sell that Owen could keep up with the hardcore Cactus, it concludes the Owen storyline – we’ve seen him overcome all the obstacles, Savage, Shawn, Bret – and now they throw a new kind of wrestler, Cactus Jack, at him and give him a hardcore title win. So, it’s extra violent, as violent as they could do. People should wince. I’d like the PPV rated TV-MA. Has the WWF finally gone too far? That’s what I’d like. I’d like a spot where Cactus, on top of Owen, headbutts him repeatedly until both bleed. I’d like a spot where each man throws chairs at the other until fans begin to throw objects and a riot threatens to break out.

Second, we need an Austin spot. Say, Foley suplexes Owen off the ramp – gives an evil bang, bang – and then Austin Stunners him and tosses him off the ramp. We always do Foley/Austin stuff whenever we have a chance. When you think of one - you think of both.

Maybe Foley sets fire to Owen again, but Owen doesn’t submit – and while Owen is burning he wraps the wire around Cactus's neck in an STF for the finish.

Owen and Cactus lie on top of each other, the back enters to extinguish them, as the show ends. At the end of the Death Matches in Japan, the opponents sometimes tend to each other’s wounds – give each other water – that’s what I’d like here. It’s a recognition that they’ve half killed each other for entertainment. And, the finish here brings about mutual respect between Owen and Cactus – when you add that to the respect they can create by clip packaging Foley’s Hell in the Cell bump – they're moving Cactus back the other way. It’s a pendulum, he went as far as he could go in setting Owen on fire – and now he’s headed back.

In the NWA…Hogan teams with Piper for a tag win. Flair wins a singles over Scott Hall. Chavo beats Kidman. Booker beats Steiner. Dean beats Hennig. Your new tag champs…Perry and Page, who beat Goldberg and Nash. Rey keeps the US, beating Jericho. And Benoit wins his 3rd NWA Title, going over Eddy in the best match of 1999.


Superbrawl – 1999 Oakland
NWA Title: Chris Benoit d. Eddy Guerrero
US: Rey Mysterio d. Chris Jericho
Tags: Perry Saturn/DDP d. Goldberg/Nash
Dean Malenko d. Curt Hennig

Booker T d. Scott Steiner
Chavo Guerrero d. Billy Kidman
Ric Flair d. Scott Hall
Hogan/Piper d. Disco/Konnan


We’re headed to Wrestlemania XV from Philadelphia. It’s gonna be a Hardcore Mania.

RAW opens the next night with some type of bullshit match, say the Boss Man and Bull Buchanan against Test and Albert.

It doesn’t last long before it’s stopped by an entering Shane McMahon. He hands the timekeeper a couple of bucks, hands the referee a couple of bucks, hands the wrestlers some money, asks them to stick around. People oblige.

We’re gonna call him Skip.

Shane’s doing a variant of the orginal Shane character – he plays the spoiled, trust fund kid. Think any James Spader role in the 80’s. Skip introduces himself, says since daddy is gone, perhaps never to return, he wants him to become more involved in…ugh, the family business before he turns it all over to him one day. Not to run, no, no, Skip likes to spend his days attending the ballet or vacationing on his private island; no, one day, one day soon, daddy will sell the business to me, and I will turn the WWF into a…who knows, perhaps a private club where my chums and I can make these monkeys dance for us.

However, daddy’s in one of his moods and says that I have to “earn my stripes” whatever that means, so I went into petty cash and I bought one of these large men. Those of you who purchased the Royal Rondelet, or whatever it is called, saw his handiwork when he decimated your so-called "Big Red Machine"

(Michael Cole is sufficiently incredulous - Skip McMahon has found some monster who put Kane through a table! What kind of man could toss Kane around like that?)

But at Wrestlemania - he'll be back and all of you will be able to see my toy in action. Until then, I'd like these four sweaty behemoths to...I don't know, sing me a song.

The wrestlers look at Skip quizzically.

Oh, perhaps you didn't understand. I am Skip McMahon, this is my playground, and unless you'd like to be on the breadline, you'll sing me a song. If you please!

(and then, on the Titan Tron, come the lyrics, say to something from Aida. I'd like to hear the Boss Man do a little opera. And, although hesitantly, they sing and then leave the ring in a fury)

Skip hits his catchprhase: "Ciao for now."

He'll repeat this type of thing as they drive to Mania, looking for ways to humiliate wrestlers, fans, staff, whatever he can do. They do a spot where he has our sweet Trish, say, have to wear something low cut and bend over for him. He humiliates her to the point of tears, which he gets a big kick out of. He's confronted by Jeff - Jeff's gonna pop him - Jeff's gonna pop Skip McMahon - but he says he'll fire Trish, Matt, and Edge and Christian - what the hell. He's Skip McMahon. Matt, Edge, Christian enter - they surround Skip - Edge takes the stick, says maybe it would be worth it. Skip no-sells them completely, says they can go ahead with their fisticuffs, but they'll be fired, and they'll be sued into oblivion.

They're stopped by Owen. The Champ hits the ring, tells the kids to all go to the back, calls Edge Adam one more time - Edge pouts - Owen says he's kidding, calls him Edge for the first time, and he and Christian are jacked up about that, dancing from the ring. Announce notes that this is how you're supposed to stick up for your ring boys - and offers that Hunter and Waltman aren't here for the Hardys.

Owen goes nose to nose with Skip - says his father is an honorable and decent man, and he'd be ashamed of how he had been treating people in the WWF. Owen says he's been here a long time, he's watched Skip grow up - and he's disappointed that he turned out to be such a prick.

Skip says at Wrestlemania, not only will Owen Hart lose his title - but maybe a certain large friend of his will pay Owen a visit.

The structure of RAW on the way to Mania is an 8 team tag tournament – new matches each week - winners get to go to Wrestlemania and meet the Nation.

Edge/Christian d. New Age Outlaws
Rematch from the Rumble – this is a screwjob – HHH/Waltman enter to wipe the Outlaws out (revenge for the Rumble, clearly this is building to a head) allowing for the fall. E and C celebrate with the Hardys – and they move to the semi-finals.

Mark Henry/2 Cold Scorpio d. Brian Lawler/Scott Taylor
‘Cause Lawler and Taylor always lose. The back half of the Nation moves on. Will they go to Mania to meet Rock and DLo? Unfortunately, Skip appears at the top of the aisle - says he never had much use for the coloreds, beyond their ability to dance. So, unless you two want to dance, I think you're out of this little competition.

Mark and Scorp are hot - they start yelling at Skip to come down the aisle like a man - come down like a man and say that.

Skip begins to walk down the aisle - Skip McMahon coming to the ring.

Lights off.

And when they come back on - there's that monster, Big Markie, lying amidst the table remnants.

Lights on - Skip laughs and laughs. Announce expresses the appropriate amount of awe. First Kane and now Mark Henry? What type of beast is Skip McMahon unleashing at Wrestlemania XV???

Southern Men d. Morley/Bob
-Jarrett doesn’t enter with Dustin, so Dustin’s doing a handicap and getting whipped – where’s Jarrett – where’s Jarrett?

Jarrett appears at the top of the ramp – with the American flag stolen at the Rumble – and a lighter.

Jarrett says it’s time that the Southern Men became tag team champs – the Nation has had the tag belts for too long and the Southern Men are fixin’ to take them straps away – Jarrett yells to Morley – Hey Abolitionist – Hey Ulysess – you want to save your precious flag – you want to save it – then get in there and lie down for the Southern Man.

Morley hesitates – should he throw the match? Or will he let Jeff Jarrett burn an American flag on RAW??

He throws the match. He lets Dustin pin him. The Southern Men advance. Jarrett laughs and laughs, says The Southern Man is a man of his word – and he won’t burn the American flag here on RAW…but he will burn the American flag…at Wrestlemania!

This will set up two singles matches. Dustin/Bob, which will be a strap match. And Jarrett/Morley. Which will be a Flag v. Hair Match. If Morley wins, he cuts Jarrett’s hair (we’ll get some hair spot to set it up) and if Jarrett wins – he will stand in the middle of the ring in Philadelphia, in the birthplace of America., and burn the American flag at Wrestlemania XV!

Yeah, daddy. Heat. Heat. Heat.

Hardys (w/Trish) d. HHH/Waltman
-Same finish as the E/C match – the Outlaws attack and the Hardys get the win. That’s gonna set up that Mania match as those two teams brawl – we’ll get Clique on Clique to open up XV.

And that’s not a bad opening tag. HHH/Waltman v. Dogg/Gunn. It's Hardcore Mania, so they do a garbage match thing for the good people of Philly - they're gonna put this one in a cage.

Semis: Hardys (w/Trish) d. Southern Men
-This is clean, a big win for the Hardys as Matt pins Dustin. And we can watch Jeff paw sweet, sweet Trish some more. Mmmmmm. Morley and Bart attack the Southern Men after. Say with Morley taking a hunk of Jarrett’s hair.

The Hardys go to the finals.

Semis: 2 Cold/Taka d. E and C
-So, you’d assume that we’re building to the Hardys v. Edge and Christian – but nah, we have Taka step in to replace the injured Markie – and, with the Hardys on the announce – the better workers go over. E and C whine full on after the match, upset that they lost, upset that the Hardys are going to the finals, upset that they lost their shot at Mania – E and C get booed for the first time yet – the Hardys enter to console them – but E and C take a while to calm down – we tease for a moment that it’s gonna go down – as anyone has to recognize that at some point, it’s gonna go down, but it doesn’t – and E and C congratulate the Hardys. Trish enters – she and Jeff make out – E and C check her out a little bit, unnoticed by the Hardys.

Finals: Hardys d. Taka/2 Cold
-Matt and Jeff, the Ring Boys, with the company for years and years, are going to Wrestlemania to meet Rock and DLo – the fans love the finish – Jeff climbs a ladder and hits the swanton on Taka to get the fall. Big "we've seen these guys grow up" pop from the fans - and a "let them play" chant rises up.

Rock and DLo enter after the match for a nose to nose. Rock grabbing hold of the ladder, cuts a rock promo - says that 5 years ago - 5 years ago at Wrestlemania X, Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon changed wrestling when they brought a ladder into the ring for the IC title match.

At Hardcore Wrestlemania in Philly - the only thing better than 2 guys climbing a ladder...

...is 4.

So, Rock and DLo defend the tag titles against the Hardys at Mania in a ladder match.

Three more matches.

We’ve got a Legends Match – the ‘Taker is going for number 5, which would break the Andre/Hogan record. And he’ll be going against…Ken Shamrock.

Shamrock says he’s the real legend. UFC Champion, IC Champion, he tapped out Vader, Jack, and Dan Severn. If anyone’s gonna be called the WWF legend – it’s gonna be he.

Just like they used LT and Harley and Bruno – they use the Legends spot to good effect, can the Undertaker beat a UFC legend to break Andre’s record? People love that stuff. And they'll put that in the Octagon, which will be the last time we see that.

For the IC…Al comes out the night after the Rumble, walking slowly, bandaged up, the announce putting over his courage saying he was in over his head with Austin but gave it all he could – Al gets on the announce, slowly, accepts the applause…says he's been talking it over with Head...Al nearing tears, is Al Snow retiring? He's taken tremendous beatings and he's not well, clearly...Al says he's been talking to Head - after what happened at the Royal Rumble - he has only one thing to say...

“I’m ready for my rematch.”

Al slams down the mic – gingerly walks to the top rope and does his moonsault.

Splat. Crazy ass Al.

We’re gonna get a rematch. The angle being that we’re going to Barbed Wire City for Wrestlemania, that Al was exiled there, that Al’s dream is to be the Intercontinental Champion – that Al knows he has sometimes said some crazy things – but the sanest thing in his life is that he will go to Philadelphia and beat Stone Cold Steve Austin for the IC Title.

Then Al does his moonsault. Al does promos like this, mixing in being an actual guy with an actual dream, and being a lunatic who talks to his mannequin head.

Every Austin/Al encounter during the Mania buildup consists largely of Al talking, Austin entering, hitting the Stunner and leaving. Austin's patience with Al is over now, it was cute for awhile, but now he's gonna whip the Snowman's ass.

They're gonna do a falls count anywhere.

And we’ll get Foley/Owen one last time.

Foley will tell Owen that he’s earned his respect. Owen will tell Foley he doesn’t need it.

Foley will tell Owen they are 1-1 and with Wrestlemania in his adopted hometown on Philadelphia – Owen’s never faced greater odds than he will at their last match.

Owen says he’s faced nothing but odds his whole life – but thinks that Jack should face some odds too – he heard a lot from Cactus Jack about what he had to prove to him - well after beating Jack for the WWF title, his 3rd WWF title, in the barbed wire at the Rumble, he doesn't have anything left to prove....but now, Cactus Jack has something to prove to Owen Hart.

Owen says Cactus has already proved he was tough - he proved he was tough in Germany and Japan and NWA and ECW - he proved he was tough when he took the IC from Vader and when he flew 20 feet from the top of a cell through a table.

But, at the Hardcore Wrestlemania, in Philadelphia. Cactus Jack has to prove to Owen Hart...that he can wrestle.

Since every other title match at Mania will be Hardcore Rules – the WWF Title match should be different – the WWF Title match will be a pure wrestling match. If Cactus Jack is going to regain the WWF Title – he’s gonna have to do it on the mat.

Foley agrees. He says that in Cactus Jack's adopted hometown, he'll prove that he is deserving of holding the Triple Crown - just like Pedro, and Bret, and Shawn, and Owen.

It’s that mutual respect thing.

Of course, since Jack neglected to mention Austin, that brings Steve out - he attacks Foley, save by Owen - the two of the doubleteam Austin - save by Al (at some point, Foley yells at Al, "why are you helping him?" Al's response, "I don't have any idea" and then he and Austin begin to brawl, and so do Owen and Foley)


Folks, It’s Wrestlemania XV. From Philly. Owen/Jack in the pure wrestling match for the strap, Austin/Al for the IC in the falls count anywhere, the Nation against the Hardys, in the first tag team ladder match in WWF history, The Flag v. Hair match, the Legends in the Octagon, Dustin and Bob with the straps, and the Clique Explodes in a steel cage. It’s XV! It's in Philly! Call! Call! Call!

Survivor Series 1998

Summer Slam was here.

Survivor Series – 1998 St. Louis
JRs Bells Palsy flares up again and that's a good opportunity to shake things up - so this will be Cornette's last event, our last JR/Cornette show.

(Dark – Taka/Togo/Teioh d. Del Santo/Aguila/Crazy)
-The KDX feud continued - when one RAW they were attacked by the new Mexican contingent as Super Astros had begun. So, we’re getting a Japan/Mexico thing on TV, unfortunately, not on PPV. Super Crazy is wearing a mask, and will continue to do so in his US appearances, both because it's gonna pay off in 7 1/2 years and because, well, Crazy's not the best looking dude.

1. Hardy Boys (w/E and C) d. Lawler/Taylor (w/Jerry)
Again, that's Too Cool, young Lawler and Scotty (w/o worm, for the love of god, w/o worm) Matt and Jeff take the mic after the match, thanking the fans for all their help in getting them on their first ever PPV. They’re a little misty, the fans appreciate it – do a “Let them Play” chant – Edge and Christian take the mic from them, do some jokes – say, maybe next time, since they’re the ones who, I don’t know, retired Vader, maybe they can get back on PPV too. It’s not exactly appropriate as it cuts into the nice moment between the Hardys and the fans. There’s just something about that Edge and Christian….The next night, the Hardys are still setting up the ring, cleaning the ropes, E and C tell the Hardys that this is goofy, they won a pay per view match, it’s not like retiring Vader – but it’s good, what the hell are they still doing setting up the ring?

Hardys are keeping it real. Staying true to their roots. They made an agreement and they’re gonna keep it. Good kids, those Hardys. Trish is seated up in the WWF employees box, we see her clapping for the Hardys everytime they appear. We see occasional shots of Trish and Jeff nervously talking backstage during weekly shows.

2. Southern Man Jeff Jarrett d. Bart Gunn
- Same bit. Figure four. Won’t break hold. Bart's helped to the back.. The Southern Man kills careers. Jarrett's taken out Savio, taken out Mero, taken out Bart, as this will wrap him up. He and Dustin wave the Rebel Flag. They taunt you! They taunt you and your bourgeois values. They are Southern Men! Watch your head!!

3. The Abolitionist Ulysess S. Morley d. Southern Man Dustin Rhodes (DQ)
Morley’s got Dustin beat after Liberation Falls when Jarrett dives in with the flag. Jarrett draws the DQ – beating up Morley with the flag – Morley recovers, taking the flag from Jarrett and beating up both men with it. Morley tosses the Confederate flag at them in scorn and grabs a microphone, "Hey, Southern Men - maybe you didn't notice - but this is the United States of America - and if you're going to bring a flag out to the ring - how about you make it red, white, and blue?"

Sure is a lot of flag business. Seems like we might be going somewhere with that.

4. Al Snow (w/Head) d. Undertaker
“I want to tell you a story St. Louis – it’s a story about a man who returned from Barbed Wire City, a man who came back to the old neighborhood and expected to be treated with the veteran respect he deserves – and that man WAS IGNORED IN THE LOCKER ROOM BY THE UNDERTAKER!! THE UNDERTAKER BLEW ME OFF AND NOW I’M GOING TO BLOW HIM……………….…AWAY…Blow Him Away. That’s what it will be. I will blow you away, Dead Man. Woooooosh!”

Undertaker dominates, beats the hell out of Al, Al gets in largely token offense, but his job is to take the beating – but he earns the Dead Man’s respect by not getting pinned – and by battling back he gets the crowd somewhat on his side. Al works most of the match looking for the hot tag to head, finally he makes the tag.....but in what is a suprise only to Al - Head remains on the apron.

Eventually, the Taker hits the chokeslam – but when he goes to pick Al up for the tombstone – Al rolls him up for the fluke win.

Both men are shocked. Al, bloody, staggers over to the top buckle to throw a victorious hand in the air – and then do his customary moonsault to the canvas.

Crazy ass Al.

Al hugs Head, muttering about "tough love" and gutty veteran leadership that Head showed out there. Al shakes Head. Ideally, fans would also.

5. Sean Waltman (w/HHH) d. 2 Cold Scorpio (w/ Big Markie)
Workrate. Waltman goes over clean, Hunter taking out Henry with the Pedigree. Waltman wins with the X Factor. Following the match, Waltman and Helmsley move to the announce, where they help call the tag title.

6. Tags: Nation d. New Age Outlaws
Rock and DLo keep, their second run goes on. Hunter gets hot during the match, “Jim Ross, I am sick to death of not getting what is rightfully mine around this place. I ran Razor and Diesel out of the WWF. I ended Shawn Michaels’s career. Let me ask you this, Jim Ross, how many singles title shots have I ever gotten? Not a goddamn one. How many titles have I held? Look in this ring, can you honestly say that Billy Gunn is a better wrestler than I am? How many titles has Billy Gunn had here? Look at the Rock, look at that crap – can you believe the people eat this crap up, Jim Ross? I just can’t take this anymore….”

Rock wanders to Hunter at one point, grabs a headset, tells Hunter that if he watches the People’s Champion carefully, maybe takes some notes, that maybe he might learn something. Hunter and Rock start to brawl – the Outlaws get the double team on DLo and have the fall – but with the referee distracted, Waltman spinkicks Billy and X Factors the Dogg. Rock re-enters, gets the Rock Bottom on the Dogg and the fall.

The Nation leaves with their belts and the former Clique halves go full on brawl in the middle of the ring and have to be separated. Much crotch chopping.

7. IC: Steve Austin d. Steve Regal
Austin/Regal is a great in ring matchup – this is Regal’s only PPV during this run – so we’ll get an inury angle. High pitched battle that ends with the Stunner. We’ll see Regal get up during the Austin beer soaked celebration – he hits Austin with a chair – which Austin largely no sells – and Austin lays Regal out with a couple more Stunners and then pours beer on him. I kinda like a spot where we see how vicious Austin can be and still get the babyface reaction for him. If he just destroys Regal, picking him up after each Stunner and then stunning him again – if he pours beer all over him – how long until they stop cheering? I figure, in 1998, a really long time. Just want to know how much they can get away with. Austin decimates Regal - laughing at him as he's aided from the ring. Middle fingers and beer all around.

Pre match - the TitanTron....OWEN HART!

Owen enters to sit in on the announce with JR and Cornette.

8. WWF Title: Hell in a Cell: Cactus Jack d. Ken Shamrock

Shamrock throws Foley off the top of the cell through the announce table. 20 feet. Boom. Maybe you know that spot.

The people, you know, go crazy, as they should, ‘cause it’s a guy just falling legit. through a table from 20 feet.

Same spot, the stretcher, Funk leading the guys from the back out to take Foley away, only addition is that now there's Owen, who is out because he's recuperating from being set on fire by Foley, Owen is there to sell the severity of the situation. As they’re leading Foley away, he climbs off the stretcher to go climb up the cage again to get to Shamrock. Foley obviously is getting cheered again now – as is Shamrock, both in a bloodthirsty, crazy ass sort of way – and Shamrock suplexes Foley through the top of the cage, all the way to the mat, again, knocking him out. Tooth in the nose, the whole thing.

A Sham-rock chant in the way the fans chanted for the Undertaker at the time (check the tape if it's been awhile) would be good.

Fans again go crazy, the back again comes out into the ring, again they are going to stop it – but again Cactus fights through it. Owen makes clear he's been wrestling a long time, he's held every title in this company, he's seen every great wrestler in the WWF the last 15 years - and he's never - he has never - seen anything like this.

We get the Foley pours the thumbtacks all over the ring spot – it’s the same match – except, Jack wins. He doublearm DDTs Shamrock on the thumbtacks and gets the fall. It’s as remarkable a thing as you’ll ever see.

My hope is it rehabilitates Shamrock a little bit – when the Taker threw Foley off the cage, the fans chanted “Un-der-tak-er”. ‘Cause it’s a badass move. I don’t exactly want him to turn face – but there's a little more story with Shamrock, so my hope is that even losing, he regains some credibility as a guy who will fuck you up.

Now, it’s not a face turn for Foley – even though, reading it, you think how could people boo him. But see, what actually happened is on RAW, Foley came out and criticized the fans for chanting for the Undertaker. He said he fell 20 feet through a table and the first thing he remembers when he came to is the fans chanting for the Undertaker. So, we’ll get the same thing here. Plus, Foley did set Owen on fire.

What it became was the underpinning of the eventual face turn, which was built on a respect for Foley’s taking so much punishment. So, eventually (not giving away too much) Cactus will be a face again - and eventually, this match will be mythologized as proof that that son of a bitch Jack just won't die. But that's not here yet. For now, it can be processed as crazy, out of control, a little bit scary Cactus Jack.

That feeling can be increased when, postmatch - Jack keeps trying to stand to challenge Owen - Cactus keeps yelling at Owen to get in the ring - to come get some - to show him what he's got - but Cactus can't stay upright - the blood loss - the concussion - it's all too great - and winds up laid out on the canvasm having to be helped from the ring. Owen stands at the table, takes off the headset as he watches the whole thing, shaking his head in amazement. One wonders, after vanquishing all comers - from Savage, to Bret, to Michaels, even to Steve Austin - how Owen Hart can stop the...thing...that is Cactus Jack.

This is really the beginning of the turn back for Foley We build upon all that we’ve done before with this crazy, crazy performance – and add to it by giving him the win over a guy he never beat before, and having him keep the belt. I want, recall, Foley and Austin to be seen as the same – Foley is your respected, completely brutal heel – and Austin is your respected, pretty brutal face. So, the images that should continue to be played on TV as 1999 begins - the lasting images of Survivor Series - are Austin's total destruction of Regal, the relentless way he refuses to let Regal leave the ring -- and Foley's refusal to die - his unwillingness to let crippling falls and the onslaught of Ken Shamrock, take his WWF Title away.

Would almost seem like they're building to something.

In the NWA…Goldberg and Nash become your unlikely new tag team champions. Flair gets a win. Fit gets a win. Juvie beats Kidman. Little Rey is your new US Champ, beating Saturn – and your new NWA Champ is Eddy, who goes over Jericho.

If you're just hopping in and wonder how it is that they're still NWA - that's because the degree to which WWF married itself to traditional wrestling convinced Turner to spare no expense to keep the NWA name and the lineage intact. That, in turn, is one of the reasons that Vince, years ago, pledged a cut of overall profit to the World Wildlife Fund in order for an, easement, if you will, in the intellectual property rights that the organization has over WWF.

Starrcade – 1998 DC
NWA Title: Eddy Guerrero d. Chris Jericho
US: Rey Mysterio d. Perry Saturn
Tags: Goldberg/Nash d. Smiley/Miller
Juventud Guerrera d. Billy Kidman

Fit Finlay d. Scott Norton
Ric Flair d. Konnan
Jerry Flynn d. Prince Iaukea
Goldberg/Nash d. Bischoff/Crush

In ECW, The Dudleys get a win. So do Guido and Tommy. Tajiri beats Super Crazy (in the mask) in a hot match. The Impact Players keep the tag belts. RVD keeps the US over Sabu, and Taz keeps the ECW Title over Shane Douglas.


Living Dangerously – 1999 Asbury Park
ECW Title: Taz d. Shane Douglas
TV Title: RVD d. Sabu
Tags: Justin/Lance d. Gangstas
Tajiri d. Super Crazy

Tommy Dreamer d. Steve Corino
Nova d. Spike
Guido d. Danny Doring
Dudleys d. Roadkill/Chetti


The Rumble is coming from Anaheim.

The organizing entity is the Ring Boys. E and C…

… Adam is adament about calling himself Edge – but everyone forgets and still calls him Adam and he gets pissed, “Come on guys, jeez, I beat Vader. Call me Edge.”

..anyway, Owen tells E and C to go back to their jobs as Ring Boys. They have to take off the crazy coats and put the black tshirts back on. They grumble a lot, maybe even saying that they deserve a title shot against the Nation –

that grumbling leads to an attack by…Billy and the Dogg. Billy and the Dogg attack, they’re pissed that E and C, punk kids would think they deserve a title shot. Some ring boys, some little Canadian ring boys think they can start talking about getting a title shot? They're offended, and with Owen otherwise occupied, they just kick the crap out of E and C one night.

Face save by HHH and Waltman.

Odd.

They get the face pop – they just wanted to beat up Billy and the Dogg – so, after they do that – as the fans cheer them – Hunter takes the mic and says that, upon further reflection, Billy and the Dogg, ungrateful pricks that they are, were right - and a couple of little bitches who carry Owen Hart's bags shouldn't be talking, even joking, about getting a title shot..

So they then turn on E and C.

Save by Matt and Jeff. And the four young men are able to drive Hunter and Waltman from the ring. Hunter yells at the Hardys - tells them to watch their ass - but all four members of the Ring Boys ascend to the buckles and take the cheers.

We see Trish in the employees box, nervous and excited for Jeff – as the two of them are now dating.

We’re gonna get E and C v. the Outlaws at the Rumble.

We get an 8 man on Raw between the Ring Boys and the Nation – and the Crew goes over (Jeff pinning Scorpio) when HHH and Waltman interfere, swinging chairs and taking out guys from both sides. Hunter Pedigrees Rock on a chair, and Jeff is able to scramble to the top for the Swanton to get the fall on Scorp. Pretty big crowd pop as Jeff Hardy pins 2 Cold Scorpio.

So, we’ll get Jeff/Scorpio as a single at the Rumble (Matt and Big Markie in their corners) and a furious Rock/DLo will defend against HHH/Waltman.

Rock/HHH continues.

It’s Val and Dustin, one more time. Flag match. In one corner, the Confederate flag – in the other, the American flag – if you get to a flag, you can use it as a weapon. Flag stuff. There's flag stuff to do.

We’re going back to the Octagon. Shamrock’s called out by Dan The Beast Severn. Severn goes full heel, which moves Shamrock the other way. Severn gets an intro as a UFC Legend; he says he’s ashamed of Shamrock, he got choked out by Austin and now he turns on his television to watch a PPV and sees Shamrock throwing someone off a cage. Embarrassing. Severn says the UFC was built on one rivalry, Severn/Shamrock – that it’s like Ali/Frazer or Ray Robinson/Jake LaMotta. And before Shamrock disgraces himself again – Severn wants him one more time in the Octagon.

Shamrock says he has conquered UFC – and anyone who has seen him become IC Champ – anyone who saw him throw Cactus Jack off a steel cage – knows he has conquered the WWF – and he’ll be glad to end his feud with Dan Severn once and for all – in the Octagon at the Royal Rumble.

Al comes out one night, says he has been in some high level meetings with Head, that after Head displayed such guidance against the Undertaker it's time to move Head from valet status to becoming his full fledged manager. Al shows a WWF managerial contract with Head's name on it.

Al says he's not sure this is the right career move - but after beating the Undertaker, Head says it's time Al move up the card - and so (deep breath, Al seeming nervous) at the Royal Rumble, Al challenges Stone Cold Steve Austin for the IC Title.

Gulp.

Crazy ass Al. If you recall from his first run, Al's one goal since he was a little boy was to be IC champ. He dreamed about going to Rio and winning a fictional tournament as long as he can remember. And now, since he beat the Undertaker IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING (Al starts to get worked up, enough so that he does his moonsault – splat) he’s ready to take the belt that’s rightfully his – STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN, GET OUT TO MY RING AND BRING MY BELT YOU YELLOW BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And that’s the angle – cause Austin’s amused by the whole thing – but more than willing to beat Al up. Austin beat Razor and Diesel. Beat Bret. Choked Shamrock out – won the Triple Crown and destroyed Steve Regal – and now here’s Al Snow?

Al Snow? Austin says it’s hardly worth his time, but he gets paid just the same, and if he finishes Snow off early that’s more time to drink beer – so if you want to see Stone Cold Steve Austin whip Al Snow’s ass in Anaheim, California – give him a hell yeah.

Main Event. Foley. Owen. Barbed Wire.

Foley cuts a promo on the fans. Says they’re scared of him. Says it took him awhile to understand, says he used to think they didn’t like him – and that’s why they booed – that’s why they booed when he made the Rock bleed – that’s why they booed when he won the Triple Crown – that’s why they booed when he set Owen Hart on fire –

But it’s not that they don’t like him. And no - it's not that they don’t like themselves. All that talk about self hating wrestling fans that he's done - that was pop psychology and he apologizes for it. He’s Cactus Jack, not Dr. Laura (late 90s reference). All that talk about how he was really them – and by booing him, they were really booing themselves…yeah, that was a bunch of crap, he sees that now, he apologizes for wasting their time. Because he knows there's nothing more precious to a wrestling fan - than his time.

Because the truth is – he’s not like them at all.

Because he’s a real man. Because he does things to himself that they aren’t man enough to do – and every single damn one of them knows it.

They don’t have the balls to take the punishment that he’s taken. To stand in front of Vader and get punched full in the face. To lose an ear in a ring in Germany – and still finish the match. To want the WWF Title so much, to want the Triple Crown so much, that you’re willing to set another man – a man you actually happen to like, because truthfully, Owen's kind of a cool guy – on fire. They don’t have any idea, with their fat wives and their dumb kids and their shitty cars and their dead end jobs – they don’t have any idea what it takes to fall 20 feet off a steel cage through a table –

...and get up

only to get suplexed 20 feet through that same cage to the canvas –

... and get up

and, with your damn teeth coming out of your nose – to take shot after shot from a guy as tough as Ken Shamrock – because you know the only thing – the only thing – worse than the pain you feel right now is the pain you’d feel walking out of that arena without the WWF Title belt over your shoulder.

You people don’t have any idea what it takes to do that, what it takes to be man enough to do any of that…

All you know is you don’t have it.

You don’t have it – and you know that Cactus Jack does – and that is why you boo me. You jealous, little, sons of bitches. You are all pathetic.

Later, we’d get another promo, in the same vein, where Foley would parade the Triple Crown in the ring, saying most of the fans would sell their souls for a bowling trophy – and here’s Cactus Jack – owner of the most prized award in all of sports.

That’ll be Austin’s cue – since the Triple Crown is half his. And we can do some Austin/Foley stuff. Wherever you see one...

Finally, Foley cuts a promo on Owen. I want them nose to nose for this, Foley says not only are the fans scared of him – but so is Owen. When he set Owen on fire – when Owen Hart quit in the ring, willingly gave up his WWF Title – at that moment, he knew he wasn’t the man his brother is – and certainly knew he wasn’t the man Cactus Jack is. When Owen Hart stood frozen in St. Louis, unwilling - unable to come to the middle of the ring and fight him - Cactus Jack knew...he_knew_that Owen Hart wasn't the man that Cactus Jack is.

And Owen - you knew it too.

And Owen responds.

Owen responds to Foley by saying he doesn’t have any idea what kind of man Owen Hart is – Owen Hart is a man whose first memories are of being in the dungeon as a little boy, being stretched by his father. Owen Hart is a man who had to fight his older brothers every day because they were trying to toughen him up. Owen Hart is a man who wrestled the Dynamite Kid when he was a teenager – a teenager – Cactus Jack thinks he’s a crazy man? Cactus Jack couldn’t carry Tommy Billington’s jock.

You think you know who Owen Hart is? Owen Hart is a man who made his brother quit, who made Shawn Michaels quit, who beat Steve Austin when he passed out from the pain. That’s who Owen Hart is, that’s the kind of man Owen Hart is.

You want to know who Owen Hart is – Owen Hart is a man who took a fork to Randy Savage’s forehead. You want to know who Owen Hart is –

And then Owen takes out a fork and drives it into Foley’s head – hitting a gusher – blood spurting onto Owen – Owen driving the fork into Foley as he yells, “This is the kind of man I am, Cactus Jack! This is who I am!”

The violence between the two men increases over the next couple of weeks until Jack comes out with his arm wrapped in barbed wire - saying there's only way Owen Hart will ever be able to prove to him, to Bret, to Randy Savage, to his daddy in Calgary that he's man enough to hold the WWF Championship - and that's to beat Jack at his own game.

To beat him inside the barbed wire.

You’re buying this show. Come on. E and C against the New Age Outlaws. Morley/Dustin in the flag match. Jeff and 2 Cold doing the High flyer thing. Shamrock/Severn in the Octagon. The Nation and the Clique for the straps. Al challenging Austin – and Cactus Jack v. Owen Hart in the barbed wire for the WWF Championship.

Royal Rumble '99. Call your cable company.