WRESTLEMANIA XXIV

The build is here.


Wrestlemania XXIV (Orlando)
(Dark: Colt/Sydal d. Crazy/Guido
Regal d. Haas
-Regal and Haas have a heartfelt handshake after the match, which furthers a bottom card storyline in recent weeks, the growing closeness of the former Team Angle stablemates, with Regal taking on a mentor role.
Winner Gets a Contract: Young Money d. Future Endeavors
-YM is Killings/Kingston, they’re Floyd Mayweather posse guys. Future Endeavors (a joke I’m likely to re-use) is Chris Harris and Colin Delaney. Young Money goes over, Steamboat comes to the ring to sign the contract. That allows the show to open on him (after the clip package) still in the ring – Young Money at the top of the ramp, celebrating, the announce explains what’s happened, showing the clip of the finish.)

Announce: Joey/JR/Foley

While we’re here:

Wrestlemania Announcer History:
I Gorilla/Jesse
II Gorilla/Jesse
III Gorilla/Jesse
IV Gorilla/Jesse
V Gorilla/Jesse
VI Gorilla/Jesse
VII Gorilla/Piper
VIII Gorilla/Bobby
IX JR/Gorilla
X Gorilla/Cornette
XI JR/Cornette/Gorilla
XII Gorilla/Cornette/Vince (Gorilla’s last Mania)
XIII JR/Cornette
XIV JR/Cornette
XV Cole/Lawler/Hayes (yikes)
XVI JR/Lawler
XVII JR/Cornette/Heenan (Cornette catches Jesse at 6 WM)
XVIII JR/Heyman
XIX JR/Taz
XX JR/Taz
XXI JR/Taz/Heyman
XXII Joey/Taz
XXIII Joey/Taz, JR/Bradshaw, Josh/Snow

So, Taz falls short of the Jesse/Cornette record, but JR is calling his 12th Mania, which ties him with Gorilla as the all time “voices of WM.”

Steamboat welcomes the people to WM24.

People enjoy that sort of thing.

He says it is a night of triumph for the World Wrestling Federation. Tonight, one man will walk out of the
TLC main event as the unquestioned World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Champion! He’ll be presented with a brand new championship belt by the greatest boxer in the world – Floyd Money Mayweather!

Steamboat says the WWF has a great year planned – and it will kick off tomorrow night when the Number One Contender for Summer Slam will be named.

And it will continue in September – when the brand new WWF Fight Night moves to My Network TV and debuts with the return of the Number One Contender Battle Royal!

And one year from tonight it will all culminate at Wrestlemania 25 – Wrestlemania Silver!
(as happens every year, the banner for the next year’s Mania is revealed now; we’re gonna brand Silver as referring to WM 25; I’d like the word Silver to = WM25 by the time Counterfactual April 2009 rolls around in a year)

Steamboat then makes a promise – he doesn’t have a Cell match, and he doesn’t have a TLC match – all he can promise is that one year from now – the two best wrestlers in the WWF will fight in this very ring in the main event of WM Silver, with the greatest prize in this sport on the line – the WWF Championship!
With that, Steamboat departs and the matches begin.

1. LWO d. S&S
-I enjoy a good fast paced opening tag. Chavo/Carlito go over Cade/Murdoch; it neither matters who gets the fall or who takes it. For the first half of the summer, LWO is going to feud with Santino and Miz, hopefully helping to get them over as largely comedy heels. Cade/Murdoch (until they leave, Murdoch obviously leaves first) feuds with Young Money, getting them over as hip hop, ‘Lil Wayneish babyfaces. Eventually, those two new tag acts move toward each other, which will be discussed in the road to Summer Slam ’08.

2. Legend’s Match: Undertaker d. Morley
-This is the Taker’s 7th Legends Win. It’s designed to get him over strong, as he has a year long program coming. Each of the enchancement guys who worked RAW in the run up, getting squashed by the Dead Man, but then all joining together to punk Undertaker out in the go home show, wind up running in and eating tombstones. Taker lays everyone out. Gets his beatin’ on.

3. Stevie d. Yakuza
4. Weapons Match: Bradshaw (w/Henry) d. Dreamer (w/Taz)
-Here come the ECW matches. Joey gets in all the ECW-revolution talk he can fit in. It’s Stevie’s last match; he’s put over as the kind of guy too often overlooked in wrestling, but he is ending his career with a flourish, he took the TV belt – and here he is at Mania. The ring stays clean, but everyone else in the angle heads down to fight around it during the match. Sydal/Cabana come first to interfere, but they’re blocked by Guido/Crazy. At some point, either during this match or, more likely, the next one, Sydal takes some crowd popping bumps. Bradshaw/Henry, Dreamer/Taz all eventually get around the ring for a giant brawl – just as they start throwing hands – we get to the StevieKick and the pinfall.
(Taz gets in as much as he can, he’s already started as the head trainer down in Florida, as shown on the internet reality series WWFU, and the kids are in attendance; recall the Hagers (Jake and Kelly, brother and sister) are the top babyfaces; Ted DiBiase Jr the top heel, Knox the top crazy guy)

It transitions immediately into the garbage match, where everyone starts hitting each other with stuff. It’s less trash cans, note, and more glass light tubes. Everyone bleeds, stuff gets broken. Bradshaw goes over with the clothesline, which, over the summer, he will begin to call the Golden Parachute.
The financial crisis of ’08-? will be Bradshaw’s gimmick, just as the last time he worked he was the NeoCon, a heel selling the wars and giant tax cuts to the wealthy – now he’s the Robber Baron, he and his stable (Yakuza, Henry – and coming over the summer, the Great Khali) cutting promos on the need for the fans, those lazy, subprime mortgage having fans, to tighten their belts. (YangTime will now be called The Bailout) Bradshaw will cut “Just a few short months ago, a CEO like myself made 370x what an average workaday slob like you people made – the greatest degree of economic disparity in the history of western civilization. It was a beautiful thing. Today, many CEOs are cutting back. I had to sell one of my Gulfstreams.”

That kinda thing. They’ll get bailout money. You know how DiBiase would give fans money if they performed humiliating acts – Bradshaw’s gonna bring in fans to the ring and demand they give him money.
Anyway, that doesn’t happen ‘til summer.

What happens now is the Golden Parachute to beat Dreamer. There should be dejection from Joey and Foley, who were wrapped up in cheering for the home team. The heels will beat the babyfaces down – until a save by Foley, who goes all Cactus Jack on everyone. Joey and JR yell at him to stop – as we all know by now from the lead up to the Rumble and then the announcers brawl at that event – Steamboat has set a strict “no physical contact” policy for announcers.

So, Foley is triumphant here – the ECW guys leave the heels laying – they stand victorious on the ramp, taking whatever chants there are.

The first half of the summer will be the ECW guys putting Bradshaw and his guys over (Colt/Sydal leave the angle and go back to GDI) which culminates in Foley getting stretchered out one night by the debuting Khali, who chokeslams him in as much bump as Foley’s willing to take. That will be Mick’s last appearance. Tommy also gets ended by the Bradshaw Group (Bradshaw Multinational Group – BMG? Maybe that’s it.

Bradshaw’s whatever then transitions to a program with the Undertaker, but we’ll get there over the summer.

5. Falls Count Anywhere: Juggernaut d. Fit
-Little arrives the way he’s been doing since the Rumble, pulling up the building in the limo just as his match begins, puffing on his cigar. But he’s met this time by Finlay and the brawl is on. They fight all over the building, starting in the loading zone, moving to the back, through the concourse, into the stands, finally winding up at least near the ring so the fans can see the thrilling conclusion –

-Which is Randy Orton taking Finlay out with an RKO.

It’s been set up if you’re paying attention, as has been the next step – Juggernaut holds Finlay in place for a kick (the debut of Orton’s running kick) – when Orton is stopped by an entering Malenko. Recall, Dean didn’t accompany Fit in this match, telling him it was too dangerous. But Dean’s turning heel, he stops Orton so he can put Fit in the Clover Leaf – setting up Orton for the kick that kills Finlay dead.

-They leave Fit, celebrating as a new unit (called Defiance, the word separately used for both Orton and Juggernaut for months) Regal comes to the ring to frantically tend to his longtime rival, the fire evident in his eyes.

-Over the first half of the summer, Defiance is set up as a dominant group, squashing suckers and whatnot. Malenko (now the devious Professor Malenko) serves separate functions, he’s Little’s mouthpiece, and he’s intended to give Orton some workrate gravity, with the idea that he’s there to be the final piece of the puzzle needed to make Orton a World Champion.

The summer pivots when Defiance takes out Charlie, who does a serious stretcher job, propelling their antagonist Regal into taking extra-legal methods to injure the Juggernaut. Regal’s beyond reason; I’m unsure what the specific method of execution would be that pushes the limit without being silly (I once had Foley set Owen Hart on fire; I once had Goldberg and Lesnar urinate on Foley) Regal needs to kill Little; I’m for Regal getting arrested as part of the angle (approaching silly) there needs to be some degree of violence beyond the normal.

6. Edge d. Jericho
This is the highest profile singles match on the card and is sold as a co-main event along with the unification of the World Title. Edge returned to the company at Survivor Series, he had been gone since losing the Cell main event at XXIII – he came back apparently as a face, having seen the error of his ways and whatnot. And he came back aligned with Jericho, making his return to the company.

They were programmed against the tag champs, HHH-M/HBK leading to Jericho’s giving Edge the #10 Hart Foundation hockey jersey at the top of the Rumble.

And Edge, of course, swerving Jericho, and the Clique punking Jericho out.

Edge says he really doesn’t like Shawn and Hunter, but he took an oath. For Life.

And so we do Clique/Harts, the feud which serves as the backbone of Counterfactual WWF.

History of Clique v. Harts at Mania:
VI: IC Title: Bret d. Shawn
VIII: Owen d. Shawn
IX. Bret d. Razor
XI. IC Title: Razor d. Owen
WWF Title: Bret d. Shawn
XII. WWF Title: Iron Man: Shawn d. Bret
XIV. WWF Title: Owen d. Shawn
XX: Hell in a Cell: Jericho d. Christian
XXI. Michaels d. Jericho

During that long stretch without a Clique/Harts match, there were multiple matches with the factions fighting among themselves. Regardless, it’s been 3 years since we did Clique/Harts, this is the 10th Mania Clique/Harts matchup, and Edge goes over clean.

Jericho’s bitterly dejected, slumping away from the ring as Edge gloats.

7. WWF Tag Team Championship: WMD (w/Arn) d. Clique: Special Guest referee, Ric Flair.
-All 6 belts come out with Michaels and Helmsley, but the match is just called the WWF tag championship – and when WMD wins it’s the WWF straps they hold up. Going forward, it’s the WWF Titles that are defended, as the extra tag belts, like all of the non WWF belts, will be locked up and decommissioned on TV sometime over the summer.

Program was about Flair and what will he do, who will he side with, how will he call the match.

Finish is Michaels hitting the kick on Cena, Flair counting to 2 but then stopping. Flair smirks at Michaels as they stand – Michaels swings and Flair ducks, going low on Shawn – Cena then kips up and flexes at Shawn. That’s as far as we can go, I think, in furthering the WMD no-sell gimmick – straddling the line between “Cena’s no selling the superkick” which breaks kayfabe more than I want to do at Mania, and just “Cena has remarkable recuperative powers, it must be all the HGH he doesn’t take or else he should go to jail! Jail!” It’s Hawk no selling the piledriver, that’s the idea – but not as far here. Far enough that it pisses some people off (which WMD will do, I’d be pissed off, for example) and far enough that it puts them over as supermen with some people (‘cause that would happen too, and you work with what you have) but not so far that Counterfactual Jim Jividen feels the need to start a “What if Paul London beat John Cena” blog.
Regardless, Cena kips up and hits that awful death valley driver on Michaels to pick up the fall.
Cena and Leviathan win the straps, the second run for each of them (Leviathan and Flair were champs, Cena and Orton were champs) they stand with Arn and Flair in the ring triumphantly.

8. Worldwide Title Unification: Three Way Dance: Porter d. Kendrick/Noble
MVP took the IC and TV titles from Orton and Survivor Series, the US was not contested in that match due to contractual loophole, Orton then lost the US to Noble at the Rumble. Porter lost the TV to Stevie on a GDI episode, Stevie lost to Yakuza that same night, Yakuza lost to Kendrick right after the Rumble, also on GDI. Kendrick and Noble were tag partners on GDI. Kendrick gets the first fall, on his former partner – but it’s Porter who consolidates the belts, getting the fall on Kendrick. Like the tags, it’s only the IC that goes forward.

Going forward, Kendrick and Noble continue their program on TV, Porter spends the summer establishing the “prima donna athlete” gimmick. He complains he doesn’t get enough promo time. He has a rider in his contract about the food he needs in dressing rooms “Who in charge of sorting my motherfucking Skittles?” he goes on Twitter during a match “MVP has just hit a drive by” he no shows a RAW because he’s holding out for more money.

All summer, Porter goes full on board modern athlete.

9. Undisputed Heavyweight Championship: TLC Match: Punk (w/Maria) d. Benjamin/Nitro

Your main event of the evening.

Mayweather, with Young Money, comes to the ring before the match to unveil the brand new WWF Championship belt, which the announce (Joey and JR, as Foley is gone) put over as extra double fancy

Your brief backstory:

Punk was the last Undisputed Champion, taking from Flair at Survivor Series ’06, then throwing down the NWA and WWF belts, leading to the brand split.

Steamboat returned to the company, and he and Punk have been in the authority/rebel program for the past year and a half. Punk’s kept the ECW belt since then, but with Steamboat finally able to set up a match to unify the WWF/NWA belts, Punk gave up all of his power in order to compete in this match.

At XXIII, tournament finals to fill the vacant championships were held, Booker beat Lashley to win the WWF Title, and Fit beat Flair in his retirement match to win the NWA Title. Book lost the WWF strap to the returning Mysterio at Summer Slam, who then lost to Benjamin at the Rumble. Fit lost the NWA to Nitro at Survivor Series.

Benjamin vs. Nitro is positioned as a budding feud, perhaps over who is the greatest athlete in the WWF – they use the ladder to up each other with highspots. Punk is the outsider in that mix, always looking to take any advantage he can find.

Melina’s not really coming back, she’s been with Nitro his whole run, but got taken out by Dean at the Rumble – but it’s an obvious spot to do a catfight at some point with Maria (mmmm, Maria) say when all three guys have crashed through tables and we need a moment.

Finish comes when Nitro and Benjamin kill each other in as much a spot as human people can possibly do and Punk climbs to the top and grabs the belts (the ECW/NWA belts are tied together).

It’s Punk’s glorious win – he’s a 2 time WWF Champion, he’s managed to overcome Steamboat – he did it entirely his way, tore the company apart, ripped the sport apart – but now stands high above the ring on top of a ladder – title belts in his hand – once again unquestionably the champion of the world – and for a fleeing moment, something approximating complete joy takes over Punk’s face – Punk high above the ring – the champion of the –

And then in a flash, Punk is hit with a Twist of Fate from a running in and climbing up Matt Hardy.

Matt, gone for a full year since winning the main event at XXIII, and then getting stomped out by Punk and the GDI crew, hits a Twist of Fate on Punk from the top of the ladder.

Fans presumably pop – Mayweather comes to the ring – and since Punk is laid out dead – he hands the WWF Championship belt to Matt Hardy.

Matt takes it up the ladder – and stands atop, with the brand new WWF Championship belt in the iconic image from WM XXIV.

The next night on RAW, Punk (with the belt) cuts a “I told you so” promo on everyone – and, from the back via video wall – Steamboat, as promised, names the number one contender for Summer Slam – which is, of course, Matt Hardy.

That’s Wrestlemania XXIV.

I’ll be back in just a couple of weeks with TNA. Then in May, the build to Summer Slam ’08 begins.

Road to Wrestlemania XXIV - Part 5

The Road to Wrestlemania XXIV concludes here.  8 matches have been set up in parts 1-4:

Worldwide Three Way Dance: Porter v. Noble v. Kendrick
Unified Tags: Clique: HBK/HHHM v. WMD: Cena/Leviathan: Very Special Guest Referee, Ric Flair
Jericho v. Edge
Falls Count Anywhere: Fit v. Juggernaut
Stevie v. Yakuza
Weapons Match: Dreamer v. Bradshaw
Legends Match: Undertaker v. Morley
Opening Tag: LWO: Chavo/Carlito v. S&S: Cade/Murdoch

The main event is the TLC match to unify all 3 big straps, Punk v. Benjamin v. Nitro.

But we don't know that yet, as we return to that opening segment on RAW the day after the Rumble.

Recall, the ring is full of dudes, as we left off in Part 3, Steamboat has brought out all 4 opponents in the tag match, along with AA - and 2 of the 3 opponents in the Worldwide Match (Kendrick isn't in the match yet, he beats Yakuza the following night on GDI to take the TV title).  Steamboat then proudly says that finally, finally the World heavyweight title will be again unified at 24 when the WWF Champ Benjamin takes on the NWA Champ Nitro.

They enter like they do.

Shelton Benjamin should have an emotional connection to the fans in Counterfactual WWF that he lacks in the real world as we've watched him grow up.  He was on Camp Angle (our version of Tough Enough) he won the tag titles as an underdog babyface with Haas - then turned heel immediately as he and Charlie joined Brock in battling their mentor Angle.  After Angle turned Machiavellian heel, Shelton again became his protegee, they were the tag champs (Shelton's 3rd run) and half of Team Angle, Kurt's heel stable.  After a year battling the Clique, a frustrated Angle felt that Benjamin needed more seasoning, taking him off PPV for a year, subjecting him to increasingly humiliating lessons.  Benjamin eventually snapped, turning face - and beating Kurt at WM21, Angle's last WWF match.  Benjamin and a returning Haas then joined Arn, becoming Strong Style, and although they mowed through the tag opposition (including busting up MNM - a TV only feud where Johnny Nitro first gained notice as more than just a guy with a tan, his willingness to take repeated beatings from Strong Style got him Arn's respect) they never got the tag straps.  Arn took Strong Style with him upon the relaunch of the NWA - but they seemed to stall, and Benjamin was traded in a 1 for 3 back to WWF for Noble/Cena/Kennedy, the only trade between the two companies. 

Benjamin immediately provided dividends, he was a replacement for the injured Mysterio in the WAR Games match before the Rumble that unified the 2 companies under the WWF umbrella, recording the submission on Finlay, earning the number one contender spot - and then beating Mysterio for the strap at the Rumble.  He has been talked about by the announce for a couple of years as the future of the company - and now the future arrives as he is WWF Champ.  He is all white meat babyface. 

Johnny Nitro is all cocky heel.  His performance on the losing side in the MNM v. Strong Style feud convinced Arn that he would be a good addition to the NWA roster, and he then spent most of the year in an epic 3 PPV title match feud with Fit - which ended at the Rumble when Nitro kept the NWA strap, going over the former champ cleanly.  Nitro lost Melina, however - attacked by Malenko in an angle to take her away from Nitro permanently. 

Nitro and Benjamin go nose to nose in the ring - over the next month it's the TLC element of the program that carries it, the idea that these are two hyperathletic guys and at Mania, some level of dangerous bumping will take place beyond one's normal viewing.  There's never been a TLC match for the WWF Title, never been a ladder match at all to headline Mania, and there hasn't been a TLC match of any type in the WWF for a few years - the notorious bodybag match that ended the Hardys/Duds/E and C feud, where 5 of the 6 wrestlers were stretchered from the ring really marked the end of the gimmick.  Like the Cell main event from XXIII, TLC has been promoted for a full year - it's a protected gimmick, seen as special, seen as extreme, seen as dangerous - and that will help sell the show.

At least for the first month - because for the month after the Rumble, Punk's not in the match.

CM Punk's gimmick is a master manipulative heel, he's held the company hostage really ever since arriving - first as the guy who refused to wrestle on corporately controlled TV - and convincing others to follow suit - then, infamously winning the Undisputed Title from Flair at Survivor Series '06 and throwing down the WWF and NWA Title belts.  This created GDI Wrestling (Sci Fi, Tuesday nights) and led to the rebirth of the NWA (Friday Night Fight Night, moving to My Network in September).  Steamboat was brought back by the McMahon Family Trust (Titan Trust) with one marching order - put the company back together.

Steamboat has been chasing Punk ever since, constantly frustrated as Punk, with the ECW Title, has called all the shots from Tuesday night.  But now, as we move to Mania, we've seen Punk finally outmaneuvered.

Steamboat's acquiring of Benjamin was facilitated by his acquisition of Noble from GDI (for longtime enhancement guy Morley, Punk made the deal to humiliate Noble) and it's Benjamin who then defeated the NWA, which is what allows for the WWF and NWA belts to come together under the WWF umbrella at 24.  That confidence has allowed Steamboat a rhetorical pivot - he's just going to pretend CM Punk doesn't exist.

That initial RAW segment ends when, while Steamboat keeps using the words "unified" and "undisputed" to talk about Mania - an uninvited Punk attempts to come down the aisle - and he's stopped by security without any reference by the announce or Steamboat.

For a month - Punk acts out, frustration growing (this was started in the run up to the Rumble, Punk beginning to question if he made a mistake by throwing down the title belts - Punk realizing what he gave up - Punk angered at not being in main events - not being credited as the real world champion - for a year, "who is the real world champion" has been debated on almost every WWF broadcast - and Punk treated the question as silly - but not it's overwhelmed him and now, to find himself not even in the match to determine the real champion - he's going mad) he tries to show up on Mondays and Fridays - either stopped by security in the arena - or outside the arena - and once he finally sneaks into the ring - his mic doesn't work.

After a month of increasingly breaking down, even yelling at Maria (mmm, Maria) Punk gets a lifeline - Steamboat will have a message for him on RAW.

Now we need to talk about Steamboat for a moment.  Steamboat has been constantly beleaguered in his tenure running the WWF, but in this road to Mania, he grows in strength.  Recall how that RAW after the Rumble ended - the 8 man tag is broken up by the Juggernaut, who then smashed the WWF title belt - Steamboat then goes to Fight Night to ask Fit to take on Little at Mania (it's in part 3).

That serves two purposes.

It moves the Juggernaut over to Fridays as he gets in that program with Finlay - and that takes away that foil from Steamboat.  And it gives an excuse for a new WWF Championship belt - which will be presented to the TLC Winner.

(it'll be presented by Floyd Mayweather, and I have to talk about that in a second)

And that allows Steamboat to say that it's the NWA title belt then which will be placed above the ring at 24 ('cause it's a ladder match).

Anyway, Steamboat addresses Punk - says Punk is invited for a one time only meeting with him, at RAW - and he needs to bring his belt.

Punk takes it.  Steamboat and Punk, who have battled for a year and a half, in the ring on RAW.

They go back and forth.  But the result is Steamboat makes an offer.

CM Punk can be in the title match.  The main event at WM.  He can compete for the title.  He has a chance to be recognized as the top wrestler in the world.

Punk can't contain his desire for it.  Can't keep the poker face.

But to get it - he has to give up control of GDI.

And he has to hand over the ECW belt.

And he has to tell the fans he's sorry.

Steamboat says the ECW belt will be tied to the NWA belt, and they'll be placed above the ring in Orlando.

Punk says sure, sure, sure - he'll give up the belt - but later, when Nitro gives up his, before the match.

Steamboat says no.  As a sign of good faith, Steamboat wants it now.

There's hemming and hawing.

But Punk agrees.  He hands Ricky Steamboat the ECW belt.  He tells the fans he's sorry.  He fumes, but he does it.  And then he bows up a bit - getting chesty in his promo - saying he has Steamboat right where he wants him - he's in the main event at the biggest show of all time - he's going to win that main event - Punk gets more and more pumped up - the segment ends with Punk taking a swing at Steamboat - Ricky slips it - chops Punk down, armdrags Punk - you know, gets in the spots.  Punk bails out, the Steamboat music plays.

It's the effective end of that program.

GDI won't really change - it'll still look like an indie show, small and intimate and raw.  Just like Fight Night won't really change, it's still gonna look like UFC - like a sport, real and passionate.  But after Mania, it's clear they're all a part of the WWF.  The split is over after Mania, the WWF is once again whole. 

And we have a main event.  TLC - the three world heavyweight champions.  The winner will be handed the WWF Heavyweight Championship belt.

('cause that's the other thing that's happening, once the belts, both these and the Worldwide, are all unified, it's going back to the WWF and IC titles, all the other belts are going to be decommissioned).

The guy who will be handing that new title belt to the winner is Floyd Mayweather.

Whenever it makes sense, Steamboat will cut another promo - he'll say the greatest moment in his career was being handed the WWF Title after Mania by Muhammad Ali.  The greatest of all time acknowledging that he was the best wrestler in the world is an irreplaceable memory.

The best boxer in the world, Steamboat says, is Floyd Money Mayweather.

Clips.

And here he is.

Mayweather, with entourage, comes to the ring.  Included therein are two wrestlers, Kofi Kingston (who we'll just call Kingston) and Ron Killings (we'll acknolwedge who Killings is, 'cause he's existed in Counterfactual TNA).   Mayweather, over the course of his appearances on RAW (most of them taped - I like Mayweather in that Mayweather/De La hoya 24/7 environment, that's the best packaging of him by a million miles) will get Steamboat to agree that Kingston and Killings (the tag team called Young Money, 'cause Floyd is Money and they're Young Money) will wrestle at the dark match at Mania for a contract.

Contract Match!

It's a spot we did at 23, when the Juggernaut beat Monte Brown.

Here, it has to be dark - but there will be a contract match between Young Money and a team comprised of Chris Harris and Colin Delaney, positioned as tag champs from small independent companies. 

Young Money's gonna have a Lil Wayne thing going.  Their theme song will rip off Got Money, they'll do lots of taped stuff from strip clubs - get as much legit fame, legit money rub from Mayweather they can get.  Gonna use this time from Floyd to launch Young Money.  I want them in tattoos, if I could hire Julius Smokes and put him in a T-Pain hat, I'd do that too.  It's like Cryme Time, but better workers and hopefully less cartoon like and more authentic.  They don't steal stuff - they make it rain.  Young Money in the dark match against Harris and Delaney.  Floyd Mayweather to present the brand new WWF Title belt to the winner of the TLC match.

The only other matter then is Randy Orton, who is not wrestling at Wrestlemania.  Not dark, not anywhere.

He's being benched by Dusty.  Orton's been Dusty's chief antagonist for months, every decision, ridiculed by Orton.  This stems from, well, from Orton's being a dick, but from Orton getting overlooked a little by Dusty.  In the first War Games match, the one NWA won before SSeries, Dusty picked Nitro to be on the team instead of Orton (or Leviathan, both of whom complained) Orton lost the IC at SSeries to MVP, but, on his own found a contractual loophole that allowed him to keep the TV belt, which embarassed Dusty a little.  Dusty then didn't put Orton on the second war games team (Fit and Nitro also had chances to put him on and passed) insteady going with his green son Cody - and stuck Orton in a match defending the US Title against Noble at the Rumble (Orton thought it was beneath him).

That's all in a backdrop of Orton never getting a shot at the NWA Title, despite having once beaten Fit on PPV and inherently always thinking he was superior (Fit beat Orton in the NWA title tournament) and thinking that Fit's big timing the younger wrestlers, the "I'll teach you all how to fight" was condescending and allowed by a permissive Rhodes.

So, months and months and months and months of Orton feeling slighted - of Orton feeling Dusty's blowing the company (he does have an argument - the decision to put Cody in the War Games match was a bad one, even though Cody was fine) comes to a head.  Orton loses the US - doesn't get a rematch (as he never got a rematch when he lost the IC) he sees the RAW after the Rumble when the Worldwide Title match with Noble (and not Orton) in it is announced - sees Ricky Steamboat, who has been the enemy - of all people - come out on Fight Night and try to make a deal with Finlay - and that night, he tries to get into Dusty's office - only to hear that Rhodes is too busy to see him.

A couple of weeks later, Orton throws a tantrum, trashes the locker room.  He's controlled by Fit, who tries to calm him down - Orton yells at Finlay - tells him he's a has been sell out.  Finlay slaps him.  Orton stares hard at Malenko - in a way that Orton stared hard at Malenko during the War Games selection. 

A couple of weeks later, still not having been able to meet with Dusty - and with the Mania card clearly filled - there's a report that Orton trashed his hotel room and got sent home.  A couple of weeks later - it's now March - Orton cuts a promo and demands to know who he is wrestling at 24.

Dusty dresses him down - says he's spoiled, says his defiance (a word often associated with Orton, just as it's been associated with the Juggernaut in his relationship with Steamboat) had just gone too far, says the truth is there's nothing for him at Mania, maybe next year. 

Orton is too stunned to speak.  Dusty asks if he has anything to say - Orton doesn't move, standing in the ring completely quietly.  Orton hasn't been seen since. 

The very last thing - the very last thing -

WWFU.

There's gonna be a reality show on the website about developmental.

World Wrestling Federation University.  WWFU.

The guys from developmental are gonna live in a house in Tampa.  We're gonna go full on Real World with developmental.  On the road to Mania it will start.  The focus will be on Jake Hager and his often visiting sister, Kelly.  Hager (derisively called Jack Swagger by jealous housemates) is the lead trainee - he was All American at Oklahoma and does everything right - he's always on time, follows every rule - does every drill right.  He's the teacher's pet, he's positioned to be a star.  He's a little shy, not that he's not confident, he's just a little shy - as he has the lisp and is uncomfortable talking.  He's just a solid, nice guy who does literally everything by the book.  Perfect diet, hands at 10 and 2, that kinda thing.  He colors inside the lines, every day of his life.  Kelly (that would be Kelly Kelly) is similarly perfect. 

And then there's the bad boy - Ted DiBiase, Jr.  The Million Dollar Man, of course, was the IC and tag champ - he also owned the tag division for awhile - he never, however, could realize his quest of being WWF Champ regardless of how much money he had.  His boy's a rogue, Ted's a natural, everyone says, born to wrestle - but he's a bit of a fuck up - late, drunk, practical joking - just never takes anything seriously fuck up.  He's well liked, he's a guy's guy - he doesn't throw his last name around, he doesn't big time anyone - he's a rogue, a scoundrel. 

Also in the house - Knox.  (Mike Knox).  Knox doesn't speak, he just lets his giant beard grow.  Rumors spawn about Knox - from his having 37 documented kills in the Gulf to his getting kicked off the Oakland Raiders for making Warren Sapp cry to his taking a dump in the Smithsonian and winding up in Guantanamo.  No one really knows, as he never says anything. 

The head trainer is Taz - his being in Tampa allows that to be a bridge between developmental and the big show, since he'll be headed to Orlando to be in Tommy's corner at 24. 

That's WWFU.  Your internet only reality show. 

And that's the build for 24.

Coming at the top of April.  Wrestlemania 24.  Here's your show:

Unification Match: TLC: Benjamin v. Nitro v. Punk (w/Maria)
-The winner will be given the brand new WWF Title belt by Floyd Mayweather and be named WWF Champion as the ECW/NWA belts go away.  The TLC gimmick is a thing. 

Worldwide Titles: Three Way Dance: Porter v. Noble v. Kendrick
-It's not talked about, but the same thing will happen to these belts, as the IC will be the only belt defended after this unification match.  This is an elimination match.  Noble and Kendrick, recall, were tag partners. 

Tag Titles: Clique: HBK/HHH-M v. WMD: Leviathan/Cena (w/AA)
-Flair is the guest referee, "what will he do" is the hook for this match. 

Chris Jericho v. Edge
-The Harts v. Clique match.  This is promoted as a co-main event as it's the top singles match on the card, Jericho has some small mainsteam name value, and Edge was in the main the year before. 

Falls Count Anywhere: Fit Finlay v. The Juggernaut
-Juggernaut's unbeaten and defiant, smoking his cigar - Fit is the no nonsense former NWA Champ.  No Malenko in this match, he refuses to stand with Fit, opposing this decision.  This is sold as going to be a wild brawl the ring cannot contain.

Weapons Match: Tommy Dreamer (w/Taz) v. Bradshaw (w/Henry)
-There are 2 ECW matches, this is between the two former announcers.  They're going to hit each other with plunder.  Plunder is expected.  Barbed wire.  Glass light tubes.  Fire.  If you watch Big Japan, this is the match for you.

Stevie Richards v. Yakuza
-The first of the 2 ECW matches, it's Stevie's last match, it's part of the same program as the Weapons match as now Yakuza has become Bradshaw's little Asian buddy. 

Legends Match: Undertaker v. Morley
-Longtime enhancement Morley went GDI and now leads the jobber revolution - jobbers are the real legends - they're casting off their oppressive overlords - the streets of Wrestlemania will run red with the blood of the bourgeoisie!  Taker goes for his 7th legends title.

Opening Tag: LWO: Chavo/Carlito v. S&S: Cade/Murdoch
-Former tag champs meet. 

Joey/JR and Mick Foley will be on the mic - it's Wrestlemania 24 - the biggest show of the year - call your local cable company!