Coming...New Year's Day, 2011...

I don't tweet; until there's some financial need to do so, I just don't need to be that level of plugged in to a worldwide conversation.  Eventually, I'll be on board, but I'm holding it off thusfar.

Were I to tweet - it would be today and it would be this.

Counterfactual Royal Rumble 2010 is coming New Year's Day.  It is not to be missed.

Road to Royal Rumble 2010 - Part 2

Part One is here.

Johnny Nitro took a big step at Survivor Series 2009, joining Shawn Michaels – and that pairing, along with the Flock (Tyson Kidd, Harry Smith, Natty Neidhart) takes up a lot of space in the Road to Royal Rumble 2010.  Michaels, as mentioned in Part I, appears every time there is a Bret Hart video to cut a promo on the Hit Man, promising to make Bret “bow down” at the Rumble.  Nitro asserts himself as the leader of the Flock (he doesn’t shave his head, doesn’t wear all white – unlike Shawn and the Hart kids).  The bit the Flock did previously, going to Mexico to get lucha fans to admit that Michaels was better than Mysterio and therefore, the greatest luchadore of all time, going to Japanese and Indian restaurants after Michaels wins over Funaki and Khali to get similar proclamations from fans – builds to this point – Nitro and the Flock going to Canada to goof on the Harts, particularly Bret.  Harry gets fans to tear up Bulldog posters, Tyson gets fans to make fun of Stu, Natty gets fans who don’t remember the Anvil’s name – all under the direction of Nitro – there’s a lot of juvenile cackling – all building to the group going to the old Hart house – and urinating on the front lawn (presumably, there’s snow, it’s December.)

It’s childish DX type stuff, they can shoot it all at one time and roll it out in highlight packages, gives them opportunity to do multiple takes to make sure Nitro doesn’t flub the lines – the idea being to demonstrate Nitro as not one of the Flock, but in charge – to connect this group to the juvenile aspect of the old Clique group (giving a Michaels rub while not actually using Michaels in those segments) and to ratchet up the Bret discussion as we get closer to the Rumble. 

When we hit January, it’s time to build 3 matches out of this.

Michaels, recall, has been cutting promos based on the Bret video packages – well, as that occurs, MVP has been sending tweets about those promos “Is the Messiah ducking the greatest IC Champ of all time” “How about challenging someone in this century, Messiah?”  Leading to Porter actually interrupting a Michaels counter-package, coming down the ramp to stop the package right in the middle.

With Michaels in the ring – MVP on the ramp – Porter tells Shawn that for a guy who can’t keep MVP’s name out of his mouth, he sure has a way to avoid stepping into the same ring with him.

Michaels looks offended, but doesn’t respond.

Porter says the Oldest Intercontinental Champion of All Time might be in the ring – but the Greatest Intercontinental Champion of All time is standing right in front of him.  And MVP is about to walk down to that ring and prove it by whipping some Messiah ass.

Michaels points dead at Porter – says the only way MVP is getting in Shawn Michaels’s ring is if he’s coming to bow down and confess that the Messiah is his wrestling Lord and Savior.

MVP double takes – drops his mic – and starts to walk to the ring – when he is jumped from behind by Nitro and the Flock.  They beat him down – toss him in the ring – and force him to his knees in front of Michaels.  Nitro yells at him - “Beg for forgiveness!  Confess your sin – you dare take the name of  Shawn Michaels in vain – beg for forgiveness from your Messiah!”

Pause. 

Save by Shelton Benjamin.  Benjamin – who lost to Michaels at Survivor Series in what led to Nitro joining the Flock – hits the ring hard and suplexes Nitro, Harry, and Tyson as Natty quickly hustles Shawn outside. 

That gets us a couple of weeks of MVP and Benjamin teaming together, they can go over Harry and Tyson in singles – but lose a handicap when Nitro is added to the mix – Nitro pinning Benjamin again (after a superkick, we work hard to get the superkick over as a finishing move for Nitro)  And that leads us to one more Nitro v. Benjamin, a Once and For All match, the suggestion being that this is the very end of their long, long feud. 

As those couple of weeks are playing out – Michaels isn’t involved – instead, he unexpectedly appears on Fight Night to beat the hell out of Matt Sydal.

Sydal lost to Rey at Survivor Series, but both in the build to that match and then the follow up from it – was being put over by the announce as a young high flyer – death defyingly athletic.  Since JR took over Fight Night, he had been referring to Sydal as “A blue chipper – the finest natural athlete in the WWF today.”

And out of nowhere, Michaels attacks Sydal postmatch during a Friday in early January.  Michaels, furious – without an ounce of Messiah placidity, but with all of that aggrieved Shawn Michaels fervor, points at JR – tells him this is his fault – as long as Shawn Michaels is still getting a paycheck, that means he is the greatest athlete in the WWF.  Everyone here keeps trying to shove me out the door, “greatest intercontinental champion this, greatest natural athlete that.  It’s BS, it’s BS and I’m not having it anymore.”

That’s your IC match.  Michaels v. Sydal.

MVP cuts a Raw promo about that, says he doesn’t have anything against Sydal,  but Michaels is ducking him – and with Nitro fighting Benjamin at the Rumble, the guy who winds up out in the cold is MVP – and right then comes the following response – in loud, bombastic voice:

“At the Royal Rumble, I will beat the black right off your ass!”

Porter does the full on double take and looks up the ramp at the voice.

Michael Cole.

No, Cole’s not challenging MVP – Cole, you may recall, has been the voiceover guy for WWF for years, has no character whatsoever, he just talks in that overly exaggerated announcer voice – but he also speaks Japanese, so he has been the translator for Yoshi Tatsu, and Tatsu is extra cocky heel, meaning that Cole, still in that voiceover style, translates what Tatsu says. 

“You Americans smell like hamburger.”

“You have had very few sexual partners.”

“I will take your ladies to my hotel for oral pleasure.”

Cole isn’t a heel, he’s uncomfortable saying all of these things, but he still says all of them in full announcer voice.

So when MVP threatens him, Cole winces, flinches, ducks – but his voice doesn't demonstrate any of that when he translates Tatsu's promos.

It’s MVP v. Tatsu at the Rumble.

That’s 5 matches down, let’s knock out the last singles match while we’re here – in my Survivor Series post, I suggested that early in this build, the LWO would attack Rey.

They won’t – instead, who they attack is Chavo.

The Colons jump Chavo, their former stablemate, a couple of times early in the build – Carlito then cutting a promo on Rey, saying Rey can stop it – if he joins the LWO.

That’s been in the works for awhile, LWO trying to get Rey to join, for years, really – and now it is placed before him – we will keep attacking Chavo unless you join. 

Rey appears, in the ring, to be about to accept an LWO shirt – but Chavo, all bandaged up, makes his way – saying not to do it.  Not to give in – Chavo says he made the same mistake once, and he wound up doing some terrible things – some unforgiveable things, when aligned with Carlito Colon. 

Carlito offers Rey a proposal – just like he did with Chavo years before – they can wrestle for it.

If Rey beats Carlito at the Rumble – the LWO will back off Chavo.  If Carlito beats Rey – then Rey joins the LWO.

6 matches down.  The 3 tag matches to go.

The title match has been the one we’ve wanted to see for a year.  Defiance, who won the shot at Survivor Series, vs. the champs, Division One.

To recap – Swagger, DiBiase, Nemeth, and Kelly were all at WWFU (The Underground) together (developmental, which has a reality show online.  Swagger was the top babyface, although his ‘by the book” attitude didn’t endear him to any of the other trainees (except for Nemeth, who admired Swagger’s work ethic and looked to him for guidance) particularly DiBiase, who treated developmental clearly as a stepping stone.  DiBiase, although the top heel, was more popular with the boys (like the Hooligans and the Harts, for example) than was Swagger, and popular with a girl, Swagger’s sister Kelly, who kept her budding romance with DiBiase on the down low as long as possible. 

At Rumble 2009, Swagger beat DiBiase in a contract match – later that evening, DiBiase locked his just gone public girlfriend Kelly in a dressing room – and DiBiase joined Randy Orton in a reconfigured Defiance to take out Taz (then head trainer) Van Dam (making a one night only appearance against Orton) and Swagger.  Nemeth spent a couple of months fighting an uphill battle against Defiance, drawing him closer to Kelly – and when Swagger returned for a WM Silver housecleaning, it was the beginning of Division One (D1).  They won the tag straps at Summer Slam, beating Defiance earlier that night in the finals of a tag team tournament to name a number one contender to DMW’s tag titles – D1 kept at Survivor Series and Defiance won a 4 way to get this shot. 

The story doesn’t need propelled as much as re-established here – it’s Swagger and Nemeth (Nemeth and Kelly now officially a couple) against Orton and DiBiase (with their manager, Professor Malenko) D1 v. Defiance for the tag team titles at the Rumble.  A much anticipated showdown.

Two undercard tags.  The Miz pinned Leviathan at Survivor Series with Cena and Hunter knocked out by Danielson and Low Ki.  Cena attempts to tell Leviathan that it’s okay – Leviathan, in his pink polo shirt with upturned collar and sunglasses, says its not okay, if Cena hadn’t gotten choked out with Josh Matthews’ tie, it never would have happened.  But Leviathan forgives Cena, because he’s too busy reading scripts to worry too much about it (I’m thinking Burn Notice).  Cena tries to motivate Leviathan, giving a rabble rousing “we are Weapons of Mass Destruction! Let’s not go out like this!” speech – but Leviathan can’t be bothered, he wants Cena to run lines with him – leading to a big comedy spot where Leviathan brings in “fans” to the ring, gives them Burn Notice scripts (Leviathan talks about his big audition, he makes sure the fans understand that what they have are “sides”, he says that’s big time Hollywood speak and they don’t need to know what it means, just read the words) – and in the scene in the ring, the fans (plants, obviously) blow their lines and Leviathan Demon Bombs them.

It’s an exasperated Cena and a distracted Leviathan, the former tag champs WMD – in a rematch with Hunter and the Miz, working like a well oiled machine, the announce constantly talking about how the Miz, who previously was a comedy act, is really coming into his own under the tutelage of Hunter.

And finally, the opening tag is for the number one contender spot at WM 26.  Young Money v. Undertaker/Cody Rhodes.

Young Money’s act (autotune, big T-Pain like hats, giant chains around their necks that read “Big Ass Chain”) is probably going stale in 2010, but hopefully they start to build some momentum when they win enough matches on the road to the Rumble.  The relationship between Dustin and the Undertaker over who is the real mentor for young Cody has always been uneasy, and it cracked noticeably during the Yakuza run in attack at Survivor Series – enough that when Dustin calls Cody out to the ring to demand that he chooses, chooses who his partner is – him or the Dead Man – Cody chooses the Undertaker.

Dustin is hurt, leaves the ring – and we don’t see him the remainder of the build.

Also important in this stretch, but not part of the Rumble – the full on bloody war between Regal and Finlay, with the Hooligans (Sheamus and McIntyre) taking the side you’d expect each to take.  They won’t meet at the Rumble (dark, actually) but instead the build is for a First Friday in February Fight Night after the Rumble in a Winner Goes to Mania, Loser Retires match – it’s constantly pushed by JR as the Rumble gets closer.  

First Friday in February.  First Friday in February.  Regal v. Fit for free on Fight Night. 

And of course, the new GDI – Thursdays on WGN, Danielson and Low Ki traveling the world and beating guys with Steamboat as their face and Josh on the announce. 

Coming in January – Royal Rumble 2010.  Let me suggest, this is not the show to skip. 

Bret Hart Appreciation Night (Bret returns to the WWF for the first time since 1997)

WWF Title: Chris Jericho v. Matt Hardy

IC Title: Shawn Michaels v. Matt Sydal

Tag Titles: D1 v. Defiance

Cage Match: There Will be a Winner: CM Punk v. Christian

Once and For All: Johnny Nitro v. Shelton Benjamin

MVP v. Yoshi Tatsu

Rey Mysterio v. Carlito Colon (if Rey loses, he joins the LWO)

WMD v. HHH-M/Miz

Number One Contender Match: Young Money v. Undertaker/Cody

It's here.

 

Road to Royal Rumble 2010 - Part 1

Survivor Series 2009 is here

(Outside of the narrative – this is the five year anniversary of this blog; I started writing the story 7 years ago; I think I did the first ten years longhand on a legal pad in a week, and then, as you can see by looking through the archives, started posting in December of 2005.  It hasn’t brought me fortune or glory, but it’s a fun story to tell, I think about the booking more than I care to admit, and I’m glad there are some of you out there who have enjoyed it as well.  As long as they keep putting out shows, I’ll keep going.)

The RAW the night after Survivor Series 2009 is sort of a big deal.  The WWF Title match for the Rumble is set up in the very first segment – and that’s not the biggest announcement made that night.

Matt Hardy, who cashed in his title shot the night before following Chris Jericho’s successful defense over Chavo Guerrero, only to have the match almost instantly thrown out when Punk and Christian attacked Matt (he ended their match earlier in the night with chairshots), enters to open the show, with that same chair, still stained with blood, prepared to shut down the show unless he gets what he wants.

You know the bit.  He sets up the chair in the ring, crosses his arms – and demand that Chris Jer-

Before he can get it out – Jericho, suit on and belt slung over his shoulder, comes to the ring. 

Matt, furious, indignant that his title shot was aborted at Survivor Series – makes his demand, “Chris Jericho 

– I Demand a Re-“

“Yes.”

“I am not leaving this ring until –“

“Yes.”

“I will shut down this –“

“Jesus will you shut the hell up?  Yes – you get your title shot back – at the Royal Rumble, you get your title shot back – and I am going to beat you in the middle of the ring and end you, Matt Hardy.  End your complaining, your whining, your crying, end this...husk of a person that you have become, end this version of Matt Hardy who is extinguishing his legacy every single day.  Whatever you were – whatever you meant – is dying in this very ring – and at the Royal Rumble, I am snuffing you out.  At the Royal Rumble, I beat you, Matt Hardy.  At the Royal Rumble, I end you.”

Matt swings the chair.  Misses.  Jericho snatches it from his hand and tosses it the mat. 

They go nose to nose.  Jericho gets the last line.

“At the Royal Rumble.  I end you.”

That’s your title match – Chris Jericho v. Matt Hardy.

In the build, we establish that (1) Matt has his shot back, meaning he can cash it in any time he wants, as long as it is at the Rumble.  It gets no emphasis, but it’s expressed at least once. And (2) Matt admits that although he dropped a cell phone atop Punk and Christian at Survivor Series, seemingly saying he set them up in a text scheme before Survivor Series (Christian was told his wife was in an accident, Punk that Maria wanted to see him – both men believed the other had done it) the truth is that while it was genius – he really can’t claim credit for it.

That admission comes during a dueling promo with Christian, who will be, once again, meeting Punk at the Rumble – this time in a steel cage, in order to prevent interference and ensure a winner.  “There Will Be a Winner” is the tagline for the match.  Matt warns Christian not to interfere in his title match, Christian tells 

Matt the truth is he isn’t good enough to beat Jericho, isn’t good enough to be WWF Champion.  Matt taunts Christian about the text about his wife – said that he didn’t leave it – and if he didn’t leave it – then maybe it was Punk after all. 

Or maybe.  Maybe it was someone else.

We see Punk twice.  Once in a dark room, using that single cam technique that became associated with Punk and Maria in the summer of ’09 – Punk’s watching his Summer Slam match with Christian, looking at the moment when he pulled Maria in front of him and then Christian punched her in the mouth – over and over he watches – zooming in on his pulling Maria in front of him, zooming in to watch the pull – over and over again.

And then again on the go home RAW.  When, for the first time since Summer Slam, he cuts a promo. 

He says he’s always been sort of an asshole.  Threw down the WWF Championship belt.  Started his own TV show.  Tore friends apart.  Got guys fired.  Hijacked a Wrestlemania main event.  Just done whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted.

And he says he’s not apologizing for any of it.  And if you want to hate him, that’s okay.  He is who he is.  He is true to himself, even the ugly parts. 

But.

“But there was one person who always liked me anyway.  Liked me more than I deserved.  Liked me when I didn’t deserve to be liked. 

And she got hurt.

And it’s my fault.

And I’m sorry, Maria.  I’m sorry.”

Punk drops the mic and exits. 

Punk v. Christian in a cage.  There will be a winner.

But that’s the last RAW before the Rumble.  Lets go back to the first.

Joey Styles announces as they come back from commercial after that first segment that everyone watching needs to call everyone they know, text everyone they know, hop on facebook and twitter and all the blogs – because at the end of tonight’s show, there will be one of the biggest announcements in the history of RAW – an announcement about the Royal Rumble that everyone will be talking about.  It is a moment you cannot miss.

Striker says he knows what it is – Joey says that Matt Striker does not know what it is – but he will later tonight.

They promo that throughout the night, maybe keeping a graphic on the screen all night.  51 minutes to the Royal Rumble announcement.  34 minutes to the Royal Rumble announcement. 

Also throughout the night, Striker tries to talk about the new GDI – but Joey shuts him down at every chance, saying they are in full blackout about other companies.  “Those guys on WGN” Joey calls them.  Striker is excited – Ricky Steamboat, Bryan Danielson, and Low Ki – Joey tells Striker he’d better watch out, or Fight Night will lose its other host.

Josh Matthews and Striker have been the voices of Fight Night.  But not anymore.

Arn Anderson opens the first Fight Night after Survivor Series by saying that Josh Matthews, as many people know, left the company Sunday and we wish him luck in his future endeavors. 

Maybe there’s a GDI chant.  That would be fine.

Sometime around the Rumble, there should be a couple of fans wearing GDI shirts kicked out of RAW.  

They should be in the front row and then, when the camera is on them – they take off their shirts to reveal the GDI shirts – the camera immediately leaves them and security takes them away.

Back to the first Fight Night.

Arn says due to Matt Striker’s constant disobeying of the company rule not to talk about other wrestling promotions – as punishment, he is also being removed from Fight Night.

So – beginning tonight, Arn says – there is a new permanent voice for Fight Night.

Jim Ross.

JR’s music hits – he comes to ringside – puts on his headset – and says this ain’t RAW, this is Fight Night – we don’t talk – we fight – let’s go – and the matches start. 

But back to that first RAW.

After the last commercial break, Joey is in the ring – he says he has had many big moments in his career, Barely Legal, the first ECW PPV – when he first joined the WWF and became the voice of RAW – his first Wrestlemania – but right now, right now might be bigger than all of them.

Joey says Royal Rumble 2010 is going to be a tribute show – a tribute show for one of the greatest wrestlers of all time.  He has not stepped foot in a WWF ring since 1997.  But he will be at ringside in Atlanta.  Royal Rumble 2010 is an Appreciation Night…for a Triple Crown Winner.  A 3 time WWF Champion.  The Best There is – The Best There Was – The Best There Ever Will Be – Number Two Bret Hit Man Hart!

The music plays (the old music, no updated version) A highlight package, the first of several we will see between now and the Rumble, plays – it’s a fast look at the big moments – Bret winning the WWF Title and the Triple Crown at WM 8, Flair submitting to the sharpshooter; Bret regaining the belt from Michaels at WM 11; Bret and Davey Boy holding up title belts – Bret and Anvil holding up title belts – Bret’s final WWF Title, Survivor Series ’96, beating Michaels.  Bret holds up 3 fingers and the WWF Title belt.

The package ends.  The people, one assumes are excited – and that’s when Michaels’s music hits.

This is going to be the pattern during this build.  A handful of these highlight packages will be put together, documentary style, telling a story – one with all the Wrestlemania main events, one about the full Hart Foundation, all of the Harts who own hockey jerseys, one that has brief interviews with current and former wrestlers talking about Bret’s being their role model, and one focusing on the end of Bret’s career in the NWA, on the deaths, on Bret’s stroke.  It’s very clearly understood that the guy coming to the Royal Rumble isn’t the Hit Man anymore – that it was a serious stroke, and really it was only through a heroic effort that he’s still alive and walking.  It’s in that piece that we see Bret for the first time, quiet, contemplative, he has a walking stick, and he talks – he doesn’t know what to expect when he comes back to the WWF.  He doesn’t know if anyone will still remember him all these years later.  He just hopes to see some clean matches, some good, clean finishes, and hopes that at least a few of the fans are happy to see him.

(those two ideas become points of emphasis as we get closer to the show - that to pay tribute to Bret, we want clean matches - no run ins, no interference, clean, hard fought matches with winners and losers; and that Bret's health is a real issue, he is not a wrestler, not the Hit Man - seeing him in that last highlight package, older, moving slowly, with the walking stick, needing help to get around - it's not the guy we remember, he had a stroke, it's a real thing.)

And after all of those highlight packages – Shawn will appear to offer a rebuttal.  When there are clips of Bret beating Shawn – Shawn will show clips of his beating Bret.  When they show the Harts – Shawn will show the Clique.  When they show Bret’s title wins – Shawn will show his own title wins. 

And at the end of all of it – Shawn includes the promise that he first makes at the end of that first RAW – when after the first clip package, he, Nitro, and the Flock come to the ring – and Shawn ends the segment by saying that at the Royal Rumble – at Bret Hart Appreciation Night – the Hit Man will do what he’s been waiting 12 years to have him do – the Hit Man will bow down before Shawn Michaels. 

Two matches down.  7 to go.  Be back soon

TNA Bound for Glory - 2010

Slammiversary was here.

Real world Final Resolution means Counterfactual Bound for Glory.  It's not until real world Lockdown that we'll have counterfactual Final Resolution.

TNA World Title:  Alex Shelley d. Kurt Angle
X Title: Chris Sabin d. Doug Williams
Tag Titles:  RVD/Jeff Hardy d. Sabu/Stevie Richards
AJ Styles d. Samoa Joe
James Storm d. Abyss
Bobby Roode d. Frankie Kazarian
The Pope Elijah Burke d. Jay Lethal
Dudleys d. Tommy Dreamer/Raven

Shelley becomes the only man ever to win the TNA Triple Crown.  Sabin wins his first ever TNA singles belt; the Machine Guns do the Eddy/Benoit post WMXX embrace, raising their belts high.  Van Dam and Jeff keep the tag belts; AJ gets some revenge against a returning Joe; Roode and Kazarian, former tag champs, explode - Storm beats Abyss decisively, Burke gets a questionable heelish win over Lethal, and the ECW guys bleed to open the night.

The build for Royal Rumble 2010 should appear within a week.