Road to Royal Rumble 2019 (The Counterfactual Turns 14)

(Hey, for better and worse, I've been publishing this for 14 years; do with that what you will. I've got it booked through two Wrestlemanias, so I'm at least planning on going that far.)

Survivor Series was here.

Royal Rumble 30 is next month from Phoenix.  A dozen matches on the overstuffed card. Here’s what it looks like:

WWF Title: Shinsuke Nakamura v. Kenta

IC Title: Three Way Dance: Prince Devitt v. Pete Dunne (w/Nigel) v. Akira Tozawa

Tags: Hooligans (McIntyre/Sheamus w/Miz) v. Trash (Claudio/Gargano)

Women’s Title: Asuka v. Ember Moon

Number One Contender: Brock Lesnar (w/Heyman) v. AJ Styles

Loser Leaves Town: Dean Ambrose v. Tyler Black (w/Anderson/Gallows)

No DQ: Bryan Danielson v. Samoa Joe

Ronda Rousey (w/Baszler/Duke/Shafir) v. Becky Lynch

New Day v. Shoot Nation (Angle/Lashley/Benjamin)

Four Corners Match: Rey Mysterio/La Sombra (w/Zelina) v. Kalisto/Crews v. Shoot Nation (Nemeth/Gable) v. Underground (Black/Murphy)

Jeff Hardy v. Ali

lo Shirai v. Kairi Sane

WWF Title: Shinsuke Nakamura v. Kenta

Nakamura kept the title over Claudio at Survivor Series; so he’ll go to the Rumble as WWF Champion for  full year. He and Kenta got together earlier in the summer in the build to Summer Slam and remained aligned throughout the build to Survivor Series.  Where once Kenta was clearly seen as superior, and then they were long running equals, now Nakamura is at the very top of the sport and Kenta is his supportive veteran friend (the fates of their respective Japanese promotions are seen as running parallel to their own stories). 

But, all good things must end, and not long after Survivor Series following a victorious tag match, 

Kenta celebrates by hitting Nakamura with the Go to Sleep – and we get a show ending shot of Kenta grabbing the WWF Title belt and raising it aloft over the fallen Shinsuke.

That’s the match – Kenta is not friendly veteran just happy to be supportive to his friend Shinsuke – Kenta is pissed off veteran tired of being disrespected by you idiots. Kenta beats up his longtime ally Hero during the build.  There’s historical color for the match throughout WWF platforms that positions this match as the lineal result of the All Japan/New Japan split – as if Kenta is Baba and Nakamura is Inoki.  The winner is headed to Wrestlemania 35 to take on the winner of Lesnar/Styles. 

IC Title: Three Way Dance: Prince Devitt v. Pete Dunne (w/Claudio) v. Akira Tozawa

Devitt’s war against Dark Ride Wrestling continues – he kept the belt against Dorada at Survivor Series and now all of Dark Ride, which was once united, is in a pitched battle against each other to get that shot at the IC; we should see the mastermind Devitt, who promised to tear Dark Ride Wrestling apart, as accomplishing his mission.

Nigel leaves his announce position during the build; he now is full time manager of British Strong Style (Ranallo will announce RAW by himself for the final month) and that switch is credited with Dunne’s getting the title shot at the Rumble. He won’t get that shot alone though – Tozawa from Blood Warriors International will also get that shot – and there’s a lot of BSS v. BWI stuff throughout the build.  Devitt cuts promos wearing his Dark Ride Wrestling t-shirt (because he owns Dark Ride).

Tags: Hooligans (McIntyre/Sheamus w/Miz) v. Trash (Claudio/Gargano)

Triumph long sought for Hooligans at Survivor Series when they took the belts from Bullet Club – it’s the first ever WWF belts for both McIntyre and Miz – there’s no real program here; Hooligans gets wins over the Usos and the Revival – this match is thrown together late after Gargano vanquishes Ciampa in Dark Ride, the story is that, sure Hooligans are champs – but they are really stepping up in quality in taking on elite level workers like Claudio and Gargano – additionally, Gargano’s inability to get a belt is part of his character and so that desperation is underneath everything he does, even after his huge victory over Ciampa.

Women’s Title: Asuka v. Ember Moon

Asuka does workrate matches – there’s never a heat up angle for her; she’s sort of bigger than that – she’s undefeated and has the best match she can have and that’s been her program since her first day with the promotion and it continues here – Moon essentially took Asuka’s place at the top of Dark Ride and now she gets this shot.

Number One Contender: Brock Lesnar (w/Heyman) v. AJ Styles

First time ever – it’s Lesnar against Styles with the winner headed to Mania.  It’s pure sport build – here’s Lesnar training out in the snow in North Dakota or wherever the fuck he is, here’s AJ running on the beach in Florida.  AJ is a Triple Crown winner and Brock’s a two time champ – AJ has turned babyface, Lesnar’s nominally a heel, but really he’s just Lesnar.  Both guys come in hot – they each beat Danielson this year, both men are driven to win that title back – Brock came back to WWF with this shot at the title as part of his new contract (we’re told it’s the biggest per date money deal in promotion history) and AJ left the Bullet Club largely out of a sense that he needed to win the WWF Title on his own.  AJ works one singles match in the build, it’s against Anderson, neither Black or Devitt in attendance, it’s just Styles and his old buddies Anderson and Gallows – AJ goes over, he is able to withstand the postmatch attempt to take him out 2:1 – babyface AJ Styles stands tall.  Lesnar comes in to squash Rowan.  There’s a Heyman Hustle with AJ as the guest to heat up the match – Heyman suggesting that AJ won the Triple Crown only with the aid of the Bullet Club, and without them he’s going to find he’s no match for Lesnar.  AJ saying Lesnar will wish he took the Cormier fight after what he’s got coming to him at the Rumble. 

Loser Leaves Town: Dean Ambrose v. Tyler Black (w/Anderson & Gallows)

RAW the night after Survivor Series begins with Ambrose – he was out a year with injuries inflicted by his longtime partner Black, he came back last night to prevent Black’s attempt to cash in his briefcase following the main event.  He comes to the ring here and he is still heated – he calls out Tyler, “fight me, Tyler – come out here and fight me” – Black, with the rest of the male members of the Bullet Club right behind, makes his way from the back.  Black motions for the others to remain on the ramp as he makes his way to the ring.  Black and Ambrose go nose to nose – Black is cool here, not rising to Ambrose’s anger.  Black says he’s not going to fight Ambrose tonight.  Black says what’s the end game here – Dean  - I missed a year of my career, you missed a year of yours – you kept me from becoming WWF Champion last night – what’s the play – we fight – maybe you get the better of it – maybe I do – maybe my guys come down this ramp and bury you under the flag and you get to make another triumphant return at Survivor Series 2020. 

What’s the end game?

Dean says it never ends – he will fight Tyler Black as long as he stands in this ring – every single night that Tyler Black stands in this ring he will need to fight Dean Ambrose and there is no end.

Black says he’s taken Ambrose’s proposal under consideration and he has a counter. 

They fight once. At the Royal Rumble.  And then never again.  Because the loser of that fight – leaves town. 

Black says let’s just cut to the end of this story – the end of the story of the Shield – the greatest tag team of all time.  It ends the way it has to end – one of us stays in the WWF and dominates – wins titles, makes money – gets that life that we used to talk about when we were Underground. 

And one of us – just disappears forever. 

Ambrose clearly wasn’t expecting this – he does a million calculations in the matter of seconds – he says “nah, I think I’ll fight you now” – and he attacks Black, he gets the advantage until the Bullet Club runs to the ring and lays him out – Black motions Anderson and Gallows to the ramp – where standing just out of the camera’s view, waiting for an interview segment, is Renee Young – Anderson  and Gallows grab Renee and drag her into the ring – forcing her to look at Ambrose – Devitt grabs Ambrose’s head, forcing him to look at Renee – Black says we can just keep doing this – we can do this night after night, year after year – or we can just stop.  We can stop – we can have one last fight. 

Once and for all.  Royal Rumble.  Loser. Leaves. Town. 

At some point going forward there’s footage of Renee laying it out for Ambrose, this can’t keep going on – it’s bad for both of them – go to the Rumble, take him out, and let’s be done with this war. 

Ambrose will agree – and they set the fight.  The build is taped pieces covering the full relationship between the two men, showing the addition of Langston, the long title run, Black’s injury and then the breakup.  The Shield will crack permanently at the Rumble. 

No DQ: Bryan Danielson v. Samoa Joe

Danielson and Joe met for the first time in a WWF ring, with all the years of context that entails – and the match ended with Danielson holding the trunks on a small package.

Joe’s understandably heated, screwed once again by this promotion and by Danielson himself. 

Danielson is a little surprised there seems to be a little criticism coming his way.  “Wait a minute – what have I been hearing since I came back – Bryan Danielson doesn’t win wrestling matches anymore.  I won a wrestling match; I won it against one of the great wrestlers alive. I won the way I always have, by doing what needed to be done.  When I’ve needed to be a technical wrestler, that’s what I’ve been – a brawler, a high flyer – that’s what I’ve been.  And now – and now, I’m this.  And if there are people who don’t like this – that’s okay, but I’m going to do what I have to do to win wrestling matches, because I’m a professional wrestler.”

(there’s been buildup, if you’ve noticed, a little bit with each match, of Danielson just nudging away at the rules, following those back to back losses to Styles)

Joe is not persuaded – Danielson’s a holier than thou hypocrite and at the Rumble, in a No DQ match – he can hold the trunks all he wants – he can stroll out of the ring – he can do whatever little tricks he wants - as long as Joe can respond by hitting Danielson with a chair; or throwing him into the steps – or sending him through a table with a muscle buster. If that’s the match Danielson really wants to have – if he really wants to “do what he has to do” – then Samoa Joe will also “do what he has to do”

Ronda Rousey (w/Baszler/Duke/Shafir) v. Becky Lynch

Ronda beats Charlotte at Survivor Series in a wrestling match; she’s a wrestler now and will have a contract signing in the Fight Night main event spot the week after Survivor Series – this is unusual, Fight Night is just matches and taped packages, no angles are shot “Less talk, More Sock” but this is Ronda and she’s special, like Brock.

So – in the main event spot at Fight Night she signs a contract with Hunter.  Hunter’s no longer in the promotion, he has an office in the West Wing (Vince is POTUS, for those unfamiliar; that’s the culmination of an angle literally started years before Trump’s campaign; I’ll occasionally get a comment from a reader that perhaps doesn’t reflect that I’ve been doing this since 2005) but his being in the Rousey storyline reflects its more realistic, more sports oriented, nature (at least, until now).  

We’re told that Rousey has signed for the most per night money in promotion history (it’s a dollar more a shot than Lesnar, we find out). And right after she signs – from the crowd come the rest of the Horsewomen, who we saw for the first time last night – Baszler/Duke/Shafir.  Last night they got into Rousey’s face, evidencing disapproval with her new choice of career – and unexpectedly here they are.

It’s a swerve – actually, they’re with Rousey – and once the ink is on the contract the four absolutely beat Hunter to death; this is a juice angle, Hunter’s headed back to DC and he’s going to full on bleed a gusher here.  The Horsewomen hold up four fingers as they hit the turnbuckles. 

For a couple of weeks, the Horsewomen send in taped pieces, essentially laughing at the entire promotion, laughing at the idea that there was once something called “4-Ground” – when everyone knows when you talk about the number 4 in combat sports– you’re talking about the Horsewomen. 

They say they’ll be at RAW on a particular date and will take on any woman with the balls to step to them.

They come as promised, taunt, goad, cajole – and who comes to the ring is Bayley.

Bayley’s basically enhancement talent, she’s yet to be on PPV, she’s super likeable babyface who puts people over.  But here she is – standing alone against the Horsewomen; Ronda says she admires her stones and says she can go one on one with Baszler – this won’t happen- Ronda’s going to hit her from behind with a forearm and the Horsewomen are going to stomp her out.  The next week – another video; they find this wrestling stuff hilarious and are coming back to do it again.  They do the same bit – and again, who comes out is Bayley.

The Horsewomen laugh – if Bayley really wants another beating; she can make her way down to the ring.

And then, emerging from the back is Banks. 

And then  - Charlotte. 

And then – Lynch.

Now, not only has Lynch not wrestled since losing her title at Mania – but here is Bullet Club Becky, who turned on her friends, now standing with Charlotte from the Horsemen and their former stablemate Banks.  They all look at each other to take in the moment – as if they might decide to just start throwing blows at each other – and then they charge the ring – there’s a quick brawl, the non Ronda Horsewomen all get clotheslined over the top – Ronda bails out on her own, the WWF wrestlers get some revenge.

A War Games match is made with the two squads – here are the needed beats; Rousey comes in last, Bayley takes a pretty good beating but is able to withstand – Becky gets in a nearfall on Rousey that is broken up by Baszler - Charlotte and Becky wind up not being able to get along in a crucial moment and Rousey gets Banks to submit.

Becky’s nearfall becomes the peg to make the match at the Rumble, she cuts a “I would have beaten you if not for your muscle” promo and Rousey is not trying to hear that.   

New Day v. Shoot Nation (Angle/Lashley/Benjamin)

 New Day doesn’t appear at all during the build; Langston was beaten up pretty good by Gods of Carnage (who are suspended) and the full group has had a tough year physically. Shoot Nation continues to “scrimmage” with Underground, w/ Angle continuing to gently needle Regal about the results.  No heat angle here; no issue between the two teams except to see which side wins. 

Four Corners Match: Rey Mysterio/La Sombra (w/Zelina) v. Kalisto & Crews v. Shoot Nation (Nemeth/Gable) v. Underground (Black/Murphy)

Rey’s mentorship of the masked wrestlers continues; Crews’s irritation at the amount of deference that Kalisto gives to Rey grows; the two members of Shoot Nation who otherwise aren’t spoken for are here as are the leaders of the new Underground wave of wrestlers.  We get the last Angle/Rey match in the build, Angle asks Rey to pick two partners; he chooses Kalisto to join he and Sombra, and that adds to Crews’s saltiness.  Shoot Nation’s going over in that one, Lashley pinning Kalisto – furthering Crews’s case that he’s spending too much time listening to Mysterio. 

Jeff Hardy v. Ali

lo Shirai v. Kairi Sane

And the last two matches are just babyface matchups – Ali went over Jeff at Survivor Series – he’s going to get him again in the build, and so we’re saying that the score is 2 to 2 or 3 to 3 or whatever the score is as long as it’s tied.  And Shirai and Sane are here to steal the show; that’s the way this match is being framed, pure workrate, let’s see how good this match can be is the build. 

That’s your show.  Nakamura defends against Kenta; Devitt in the 3 way dance, Gargano’s first PPV, Brock meeting AJ for the first time on PPV; the Joe/Danielson rematch; Ambrose and Black – Loser. Leaves. Town, Kurt Angle.  Rey Mysterio.  Becky Lynch against Ronda Rousey and more.  It is an overloaded card and you can watch it on the WWF Network for only 9.99 a month and its coming in a month