Royal Rumble 2013 is in Phoenix.
(Dark – Ambrose d. Tatsu
Black d.
Pac
Following that match, still while dark, as Pac heads back up
the ramp he is grabbed by the group from Underground led by Langston who made a
handful of appearances in the build, they take him to the back)
Joey/JR/Paul Heyman is the announce. The following night on RAW, JR will disclose
that Wrestlemania will be his last show, he’s retiring.
Foley is at ringside, tense, he has a lot riding on the
successful culmination of the IC Tournament, as has been discussed.
1.
IC Tournament: Nick Nemeth d. Claudio Castagnoli
(w/Hero)
I’m a big fan of this pairing; Nemeth can
take his crazy bumps, Claudio can hit his sweet offense – that lends itself to
Nemeth fighting from underneath, which serves his babyface reaction, and given
Claudio’s popularity, that’s got to be the match story to keep Nemeth from
re-turning.
This is less like a semi-final of a
tournament where the final is later on the card and more like the match of the
night; 20 minutes where they just go full out, to the point where Heyman
wonders if the winner will have anything left for the final and blames poor
planning by Regal/Steamboat in not ensuring their guys didn’t spend this much
energy.
One important moment – Nemeth’s on the
outside, Hero kicks him right in the ribs.
Claudio’s unaware. That dynamic,
Hero as Claudio’s bad cop, is the next wave of the Claudio character.
In the end it doesn’t matter, Nemeth gets
the fall. Foley is noticeably
relieved - it was, one hopes, a really
good match and sets up the possibility that the IC tournament could result in
Nemeth winning the Triple Crown.
2.
Taped Fist Match: Sheamus (w/Regal) d. PAUL
Regal, of course, wasn’t with Nemeth, as he
now goes out alone – but not being at ringside is what opened him up for the
Hero boot – and during this match, Regal gives Foley an earful about GDI
getting away with murder, and how Regal will bring all of Underground to the
ring for the IC title match. That
conversation will lead to Regal and Underground being banned from ringside for
the IC Final, an announcement made later.
Foley might be overly sensitive to the criticism here, but it shows how
much he has on the line with that match.
Sheamus avoids that big right hand from
PAUL and gets the fall. Heyman notes he
largely did it despite a distracted Regal, who spent most of the match yelling
at Foley.
3.
Miz d. John Cena
Miz cheats to win.
The Underground trainees led by Langston
then emerge with Pac, they’re on the ramp – Langston says Underground is family
– and that even though, when Pac’s been jumping off the video wall all year,
they haven’t been the ones specifically attacked, they’re the ones who will
make it right.
They’re
going to unmask Pac (a reminder, Pac’s in a mask) but are stopped when
they’re crashed down from someone else flying off the video wall.
El Generico. Who, the announce will loudly note, is that
promised new signing to GDI. Generico
has joined GDI.
4.
Rey Mysterio d. Mistico
This is maybe a bigger match than you
appreciate – it’s in Phoenix, with a heavy Hispanic population, it’s sold as maybe Mysterio’s last match, and
certainly his last match of 2013 – his goal is to return for WM 30 – and it’s
against Mistico, a giant lucha star.
Rey goes over in the best match they can
have – he hits the buckles postmatch to wave at the crowd –
Lights out.
Lights on.
Rey’s laid out in the middle of the ring –
underneath a laughing Jericho.
5.
JerichoDeath d. CM Punk
Punk runs down the ramp in defense of Rey –
and they brawl. Jericho, importantly,
doesn’t do any of his former trademark spots – he is completely free and
without pattern, as if he might do anything at any time – he might kick you in
the shin or bite your cheek; he might put you in a hammerlock or hit you with a
heart punch. He is impossible to figure,
and that’s going to get him the fall.
The lights then go off and then on – and
Jericho’s gone.
6.
WWF Tag Titles: Empire (Barrett/Ryback w/Gabriel)
d. Defiance (Orton/Bernard w/Rhodes) d. Douchebags (Sandow/Ryder
w/Slater/Curtis)
This is one fall to a finish. Note, no Michael Cole, who was supposed to
choose between the two Underground teams as part of the build.
Loose rules, it’s a tag match in the Foley
era, so everyone gets involved; finish comes when Curtis hits his legdrop on
Orton, but Barrett is there to steal the pinfall from Sandow.
Empire takes the straps.
The celebration is short lived as on the
video wall is a shot of a nearly dead Michael Cole – it’s reminiscent of the
video wall reveals of the beatings of Hawkins and Kidd.
Except it’s in the style of the videos done
by The Shield.
And that’s when the mystery comes to an
end. Douchebags didn’t take out
Kidd. Empire didn’t take out Hawkins.
The Shield took out both – and Cole.
Don’t believe in Empire. Don’t believe in Douchebags. Believe in the Shield.
The video ends – Douchebags and Empire run
together from the ring up the ramp.
IC: The Rock No Contest Nick Nemeth
Here we go. Foley
joins the announce for this one.
Nemeth comes out fast – he had to work really hard in the
semi, so he just blitzes the Rock, looking to not make this a long match (and
looking to catch the Rock rusty).
When Rock withstands the early blitz, he can wrestle the
match like a big man, a lot of power moves with Nemeth flying all over the
place. Rock can get booed, that’s fine,
the goal, again, is to get Nemeth fighting from underneath to earn sympathy –
he’s already gone 20, and now just takes power move after power move, nearfall
after nearfall, but keeps fighting back.
Nemeth is able to hit a move out of nowhere, flip it around,
build some momentum – Nemeth feeding off the energy of the crowd – Nemeth
closing in on the Triple Crown – when Brock Lesnar’s music hits.
But it’s not Lesnar who emerges onto the ramp; it’s someone
else, wearing a Paul Heyman Guy t-shirt (come on, you know who it is).
It’s Jack Swagger.
And Heyman turns from “I don’t know what’s going on, I swear
to God” when the music hit to “You earned this one, Foley, this one is all
yours” by the time Swagger hits the ring.
Heyman rips off his headset to go to ringside to bark orders – as
Swagger just rips the heads off both Nemeth and Rock – just leaves them
motionless in the ring, requiring that the bout be stopped so both men can be
helped to the back. Heyman and Swagger
together in the ring, smirking – Heyman pointing at Foley, who is stunned into
total silence – his tournament has ended in chaos and destruction.
8.
WWF Title: Bryan Danielson (w/Steamboat) d. Dos
Caras, Jr. (w/Vickie and Ricardo)
They have the best match they can have;
it’s the number one goal for every Danielson match; here’s a guy who can have a
4 star match with almost anyone that it would be reasonable to stick with him,
and that’s what they want to see.
Immediately following the fall, Heyman’s
music hits – he and Swagger emerge from the back and slowly start to make their
way to the ring – that attracts Steamboat’s attention, who starts pointing at
them – Danielson readies himself; and that means he’s totally unprepared for
what’s coming at him from the other side of the ring. Wearing another Paul Heyman Guy t-shirt.
Brock Lesnar.
Lesnar annihilates Danielson – laying him
out with an f5. The show closes with
Heyman, Lesnar, and Swagger all in the ring as Danielson’s outstretched hand is
a few inches away from the WWF Title belt, laid out on the canvas, right under,
as the camera pans back, the sign for Wrestlemania 29.
Coming next month – the build for
Wrestlemania, where we’ll be able to give you a main event never seen in any
known universe…
Bryan Danielson v. Brock Lesnar.
