The build is here.
Royal Rumble 2018 comes to you from Philadelphia. It is the 29th Royal Rumble and the 124th WWF PPV.
Royal Rumble 2018 comes to you from Philadelphia. It is the 29th Royal Rumble and the 124th WWF PPV.
(Dark – Strong d. Gargano, Dunne d. Bate)
It is Mauro Ranallo’s 10th PPV as lead
announcer.
Steve Regal (20th PPV) and Nigel McGuinness (7) are
your color announcers. They are replaced
for the women’s title match by Corey Graves (2).
There’s a pre-show tape, voiced over by Heyman, to put over
Philadelphia as a city of tremendous heart and resilience – there are clips of
wrestling matches that took place in Philadelphia, clips from Rocky and Creed,
clips of the Philadelphia Eagles, who are about to win their first Super
Bowl. The tie in to this event is that
it will take great resilience to overcome 19 other men in Royal Rumble Warfare
to win the WWF Championship.
-there’s the clip of Randy Savage plunging the WWF Fork into
Mr. Perfect
-there’s the Sandman, hitting Terry Funk with the
unprotected chair shot at November to Remember ‘93
-there’s Cactus Jack, hitting an elbow on Sting from the
apron to the floor at Slamboree ‘94
-there’s Dean Malenko, submitting Brian Pillman with the
clover leaf at November to Remember ‘94
-there’s Sabu, hitting a triple jump moonsault on Steve
Austin at November to Remember ‘95
-there’s Raven, hitting Tommy Dreamer with a Singapore cane
at November to Remember ‘96
-there’s Taz, t-bone suplexing Sabu on the top of his head
at Barely Legal ‘97
-there’s Al Snow, in a sea of Heads after taking the IC from
Austin at WM15.
-there’s Kurt Angle, stopping Jeff Jarrett from burning an
American flag at WM 15
-there’s Brock Lesnar, slicing up Mick Foley with barbed
wire at Rumble ‘04
-there’s RVD and Sabu, putting Cena and Batista through
tables covered with glass tubes at Survivor Series ’20.
-There’s Bubba Ray Dudley and DDP each being sent into steel
steps by The Shield at Rumble ’15.
-there’s Terry Funk, standing in the crowd holding a world title
belt, both at Slamboree ’94 and then Barely Legal ‘97
1. FULL CIRCLE (ORTON/CENA) NO CONTEST NEW DAY
(WOODS/KINGSTON, SHEAMUS/MIZANIN
-Full Circle used veteran heel tactics to go over
Sheamus/Miz at Survivor Series; they added the New Day for this match – it doesn’t
matter if it’s an elimination match or if it’s one fall – there’s no finish to
this match, after about 8 minutes we hear an unfamiliar theme, we see an
unfamiliar name on the video wall:
GODS
OF
CARNAGE
..and then who emerges are Rusev and Strowman, with Lana –
Rusev and Strowman are in matching gear, they’ve got facepaint, they come to the
ring and kill everybody. The match gets
thrown out. A new team has been
created.
2. DARK RIDE WRESTLING PRESENTS: A LUMBERJACK MATCH: SOMBRA
(W/ZELINA) d. ADAM COLE
Here are 18 of the 20 lumberjacks (2 were unannounced and
they remain unannounced even as the match starts; the lumberjacks are not in
the match)
-Kenta
-Hero (babyfaces aligned with Sombra)
-O’Reilly
-Fish (GDI members w/Cole)
-Alexander
-Tozawa (Blood Warriors International)
-Dunne
-Bate
-Seven (the lead members of the British contingent which
primarily has been fighting each other)
-Strong (Dark Ride Champion, member of the Horsemen)
-Gargano (feuding with Strong, member of Trash)
-Aleister Black
-Velveteen Dream
-Buddy Murphy
-Lio Rush
-Mustafa Ali
-Authors of Pain
There’s some jawing among the lumberjacks, but no real
physicality until the finish – the 19th and 20th
lumberjacks enter, it’s the debut of War Machine – and when they get to mid
aisle Authors of Pain sprint up to brawl with them – in the commotion, Fish and
O’Reilly hit the ring, attempting to interfere, but both are cut off by
Kenta/Hero, driven from the ring, and Sombra gets the fall very soon
thereafter.
The postmatch is an extended brawl, as many minutes as
needed for guys to get their stuff over – it’s designed to pay off the hardcore
expectations of a segment of the Philadelphia crowd, there’s going to be a
ladder bump, there’s going to be a table bump, War Machine’s got thumbtacks –
Dark Ride Wrestling is putting a stamp on the Royal Rumble in Philadelphia.
3. NUMBER ONE CONTENDERS MATCH: 2 OF 3 FALLS: THE REVIVAL
(W/ARN) d. AMERICAN ALPHA
-I bet this is a helluva match; Alpha and Revival came all
the way up together through Underground, competed at every level of their
development – and this is culmination of all of that; a best of 3 series that
winds up in a best of 3 falls match.
Doesn’t matter which one wins which of the first 2 falls, it’s the
Revival who goes over. It’s clean and
definitive and the feeling should be that this is the end. Postmatch, all four men, plus Arn, stay in
the ring, presumably there is applause – Alpha extends their hands to the
Revival – they accept them , Alpha tells them to go win the belts.
This will be repeated in the Mania build – but tomorrow
Alpha is going to lose to their longtime rivals, Anderson/Gallows – the end
result of which is that Jordan winds up buried under the Bullet Club flag, and
its fair to speculate how long he might be out of action. If this looks like a face turn for the
Revival – it’s supposed to.
4. WOMEN’S TITLE: ASUKA d. BECKY LYNCH (COUNTOUT)
-Becky’s a member of the Bullet Club, women’s champion since
last year’s Mania; Asuka is undefeated and doing the full IRL Goldberg gimmick –
the chanting, the Some Number-0 signs, her catchphrase is “Who’s Next?” – she
gets the full walk from backstage through the curtain, she gets the
fireworks. Corey Graves is the heel
color commentator from Dark Ride, but he plays the IRL Bobby Heenan role of the
heel who still loves this undefeated babyface – he’s been clamoring for this
match, for this moment, for over a year, so he’s who joins Ranallo for this
match.
-They have the best match they can, the story being that
Becky just isn’t quite good enough here, and eventually, she quits – takes the
title belt and exits. Asuka keeps her
streak, Becky keeps her belt. It is
designed to feel unsatisfying.
We then get a message on the video wall – from the WWF
Commissioner Bryan Danielson.
It’s the first time we’ve seen him since getting knocked
silly by an errant AJ Styles forearm at Survivor Series. Danielson says he will be returning tomorrow on
RAW – and he’ll be making a major announcement.
That’s going to lead to much speculation, speculation that
will heat up the next day on social media, as it is leaked that Danielson is
going to resign immediately from his position as commissioner.
5. EL GENERICO d. THE LEGENDARY REY MYSTERIO
-At Summer Slam, a very personal feud between the two former
halves of GDI ended with Neville emotionally losing a Loser Leaves Town match
to Steen. Coming out of that year long
program, some lighter fare was needed – Steen adopted the persona of Kid
Canada, an aging French-Canadian luchador, and put together the Tres Bon Mask
Challenge. That resulted in Generico
winning a mini masked wrestler tournament – and here is the one night only
return to the WWF of a triple crown winner, the Legendary Rey Mysterio – and Generico
beats him in the best match they can possibly have. They embrace after the match, the feeling
should be a passing of the torch, that Generico is now the best masked wrestler
in the world.
Kid Canada then appears on the video wall – live, from
Quebec – he congratulates Generico, said he has not only overcome all other
masked wrestlers from WWF, but also defeated the Legendary Mysterio. And now –
he has only one more hill to climb.
Which is a surprise.
How could there be more hills to climb once you beat Rey Mysterio?
Kid Canada says – at Wrestlemania – you will face one last
masked wrestler – at Wrestlemania, it will be El Generico….vs….Kid Canada….Mask
vs. Mask.
Generico’s mouth drops open – he shakes his head – what…what
is Kevin Steen doing now?
6. WWF Tag Titles: Usos d. Bullet Club (Anderson/Gallows)
-The Usos are in their second title run; they took from the
Hardys at Summer Slam – they’re cocky heels; Anderson and Gallows have largely
filled the bodyguard role for the Bullet Club; it’s their first shot at the
belts, they’re also cocky heels. In a
way, they are sort of a Young Bucks proxy – there’s a bit of cross-promotional
superkick rivalry between the Usos and the Bucks, it’s not explicit here, it’s
a wink and a nod – it’s not “come to New York and fight us, cowards” for
obvious reasons – but if the Usos were to have a Superkick Party and a Young Bucks
chant to start, that wouldn’t shock.
They’re the better squad and they go over here – Usos win
this match and keep their belts. Postmatch, Arn leads the Revival to the ring –
they won the number one contenders match earlier in the evening – and the will
face the Usos for the tag titles at Wrestlemania 34. The men all go noses to noses at mid
ring.
7. IC TITLE: NO DQ: BROCK LESNAR (W/HEYMAN) d. SHELTON
BENJAMIN
-Brock’s had the IC since last year’s Rumble and Heyman’s
constant referencing of him as the “Real World’s Champion” seems to have
manifested into reality – because now, of course, there is no WWF Champion,
there’s just Brock – and the combination of Brock being Brock and the WWF Title
being vacant really gives the “Lesnar is the Real World Champion” thing a ton
of credibility. He beat Angle at
Survivor Series and completed the sweep of his past by taking out Benjamin.
This is No DQ – we had Lesnar/Angle stay in the ring despite
their limitations really in honor of what that matchup meant – but this one we
make a garbage match, Benajmin can use some foreign objects found under the
ring in order to give him the appearance of possibly taking this title and
winning the Triple Crown. He doesn’t, of
course, Lesnar’s gonna hit him with an F5 and then just tack on a second one
because he can. When we next see
Benjamin his arm will be in a sling.
Lesnar will head to Wrestlemania as the longest reigning IC Champion in
a decade.
Prior to the battle royal – clips from the other notable
battle royals in WWF History:
1991…Davey Boy Smith press slams Sid over the top rope to
become #1 contender…
1993…Razor dumps Shawn over the top rope to become #1
contender…
1995…Hakushi dropkicks Razor over the top to become #1
contender…
1996…Owen dropkicks Austin over the top to become #1
contender…
1998…Cactus cactus clotheslines both himself and Austin over….but
Cactus holds on to become #1 contender…
2000…The Rock throws Jericho over the top to become #1
contender….
2002…Rey Mysterio debuts in the WWF, springboard dropkicking
Michaels over the top to become #1 contender…
2004…Eddy throws Christian over the top to become #1
contender…
2006…Punk throws Jeff Hardy over the top to become #1
contender…
2008…Jericho throws Edge over the top to become #1 contender…
2010…Swagger throws Nemeth over the top to become #1
contender…
2012….Punk throws Sheamus over to become #1 contender…
2014…Bray throws Harper over the top to become #1 contender…
2016…Joe eliminates Cedric Alexander to become the inaugural
Dark Ride Champion
2017…Kenta eliminates Hero to win the Dark Ride Championship
8. WWF CHAMPIONSHIP: ROYAL RUMBLE WARFARE
20 men, 2 minute intervals, eliminations are pinfall,
submission, over the top rope. Winner
becomes the 57th World Wrestling Federation Champion. Place your bets.
1.
Apollo Crews
2.
Kalisto (sometimes, you play the hits, it’s a babyface
tag team squaring off)
3.
Prince Devitt (tough draw for the leader of the
Bullet Club – Kalisto/Crews instantly team up and begin working him over)
4.
Nick Nemeth (that puts all 3 members of
Underground in the match very early and puts Devitt in extreme jeopardy)
5.
Kevin Steen (this is Steen’s first match as
Kevin Steen since Summer Slam, he races to the ring like someone returning from
a long layoff, he once feuded with Nemeth – but everyone hates the Bullet Club,
and he joins the parade in bouncing Devitt around the ring, just before the announcement of the
next guy however, Devitt is able to hurl Kalisto from the ring (20)
6.
Mascara Dorada (Dorada hits his stuff on everyone
in the ring before settling in on a 1:1 matchup against Crews;
Nemeth/Devitt/Steen are now all battling each other)
7.
Bray Wyatt (he comes in hot after Devitt, and
now Devitt is near elimination, as Nemeth and Steen both aid in trying to toss
him over the top)
8.
Dustin Rhodes (Dustin grabs Bray and the two one
time stablemates go nose to nose as Devitt is able to escape from the ropes and
stumble right into Dustin/Bray – who then start clubbing away at him, at the
close of the time expiration, Crews eliminates Dorada with a pinfall (19)
9.
Rusev (he never makes it to the ring, he’s
attacked on the ramp by half of each of the tag teams that Gods of Carnage laid
out earlier in the night – their 3 on 1 assault is ended by Strowman – he joins
his new partner and they get the advantage despite being outnumbered – leading to
the other 3 men from the aforementioned tag teams hitting the ramp, and 6 on 2,
all 8 men fight their way back up the ramp until they disappear from view. We are told that Rusev is counted out and
therefore eliminated (18). Bray and Dustin are fighting Devitt while Crews and
Nemeth are fighting Steen.
10.
Claudio Castagnoli (Steen breaks away from
Nemeth and Crews to meet him in the middle of the ring and the two rivals start
trading blows; Nemeth and Crews join Dustin and Bray in all getting nearfalls
on Devitt)
11.
Bobby Roode (he enters more tactically,
surveying the scene, looking for an area of opportunity, which turns out to be
laying out Bray and eliminating Dustin (17). Devitt is almost over the top rope
now as Nemeth and Crews push and push
12.
AJ Styles (saves his Bullet Club stablemate, the
announce notes that Devitt was certainly about to be eliminated but not for AJ,
he levels both Nemeth and Crews, the Steen/Claudio/Roode thing continues, Bray
stays out of the fray, crouching in a corner.
13.
TJ Perkins (he gets spots in on everyone (except
Claudio) the other 7 in the ring take some type of TJP spot, and that allows
Claudio to get a pinfall on Steen (16)
14.
Jack Gallagher (Gallagher is all prancing
comedy, Nemeth and Crews are taking on Styles and Devitt, Claudio battles Roode
while Bray takes on Perkins)
15.
Roman Reigns Uso (he comes in hot – superman
punch and a throw of Perkins over (15) superman punch and a spear pinfall for
Bray (14) everything else remains the same
16.
Drew Gulak (Gulak is eliminated by a Reigns
superman punch as soon as he steps into the ring (13) Claudio then gets a
pinfall on Roode (12) and out of nowhere, Gallagher schoolboys Devitt (11)
which draws a shocked response from the announcers and Devitt
17.
Kid Canada (Steen’s pulled a fast one, and now
here he is in his gimmick, Claudio shakes his head in exasperation and once
again he and Steen meet at mid ring and start throwing blows in the same spot
they did earlier in the match, Devitt is enraged – he and AJ hurl Gallagher
over the top (10) before Devitt is made to exit the ring, Nemeth and Crews now
fight Reigns as a drone buzzes their heads)
18.
Langston (Kid Canada gets the pinfall on Claudio
(9) and is then immediately pinned by Langston (8) Reigns gets in another
superman punch/spear to eliminate Crews (7) the drone keeps buzzing by Nemeth,
who swats and swats – and that distraction doesn’t allow him to notice that,
from the crowd, emerges Broken Matt Hardy, who throws him over the top rope (6)
and then exits back into the Delete chanting crowd.
19.
Tyler Black (there’s a reset now as four men remain
in the ring – Black and AJ, from the Bullet Club – and Langston and
Reigns. Langston and Reigns are career
long rivals, from Langston’s time with the Shield to the New Day, he’s always
been on squads which opposed the Usos – those two teams just finished another
feud – but here, facing Black and AJ, its clear to both men that they need to work together. Reigns has also feuded with Black, both
historically, in Usos/Shield battles, and recently, in the build for the tag
title match that happened earlier in the evening. And Black/Langston have the biggest history
of all – Langston turned on Black, cost him a year of his career, and ended the
Shield.
If you think this is taking more than 2 minutes, you’re
right – at some point Mauro says the clock is broken – we get a good 5 minutes
here with these two “teams” squaring off – but the Bullet Club picks up
pinfalls – Black gets Langston (5) and then AJ gets Reigns (4) and
then Black immediately throws AJ over the top rope (3).
AJ is heated – the deal was they’d wait until everyone else
was eliminated and then they’d battle it out – but Black has clearly lost track
of how many entrants there had been given the length of time since he came to
the ring – Black drops to his knees in celebration of winning the WWF Title.
But he hasn’t of course.
The lights go out – then there’s a spotlight on a violinist
on the ramp.
And he begins to play IRL Nakamura’s original theme – and we
get IRL Nakamura’s first ever NXT entrance.
Sure, it’s going to take 2 minutes all by itself, but we’ve already
abandoned that pretense with the broken clock.
20.
Shinsuke Nakamura (Nakamura hasn’t been seen
since being buried under the Bullet Club flag after Survivor Series – but he is
risen, new music, new gear – the full elaborate entrance – Black stands in the
ring stupefied, how is Nakamura here – what is happening with this entrance –
how did I forget there was one man left to enter the ring?
They do a good 10 minute match – Nakamura pins Black (2)
after the bomaye to become the World Wrestling Federation Champion.
40 years before Antonio Inoki was WWF Champion – but tonight,
in Philadelphia, Shinsuke Nakamura has defeated Tyler Black to become the 57th
World Wrestling Federation Champion. His
new music plays, he hits the turnbuckles with his belt – the people cheer – and
that’s your show.
We’re back in a month with Part 1 of the build to
Wrestlemania 34. It’s a helluva card
with a double main event. See you then.
