Survivor Series 2003

Summer Slam is here.

Survivor Series 2003 Dallas
(Dark: London/Spanky d. Haas/Benjamin)
(Dark: Ultimo Dragon d. Shane Helms)

JR/Taz again on the announce.

1. Dead Men Walking d. Bashams
-I got nothing here. I did the, “it’s not really a match” opening tag last show, I don’t have a DMW angle coming up until it’s time to turn the dead guy face again. Now is not that time. So, they smash up the Bashams, Triple Chokeslam. Dead guys get to eat.

2. Goldberg d. Scott Steiner
-As quick as can be. Scotty’s here to pose and feed Goldberg. Bill beats his chest after the match, starts yelling for Lesnar. “I want Lesnar! Are you scared, Lesnar? Come on down and face a real man, Lesnar.” That kinda thing. That’s it for Scotty, he’s only here for that job.

3. Jamie Noble d. Chris Benoit
And now the workrate starts. Noble is your Redneck Messiah, he’s got the chaw going, they should give him a valet/cousin who he makes out with. And he has some of Benoit’s moveset, leading to comparisons between the two, leading to Angle using him to distract Benoit from preparing for the title match. Benoit went over Noble in the tournament as Noble was moving heel, away from his club-hopping “don’t hit my hair” partner, Billy Kidman. Benoit can give Noble a lot of offense here, selling Noble as a quality worker.

Angle comes to ringside, bringing a chair on which he sits to read something…maybe a prop book: I Tapped Out: The Chris Benoit Story. Angle’s the finish, he distracts the official during a Benoit pinfall attempt, and slips the chair to Noble, who clocks Benoit and gets the shocking fall. Jamie Noble pins Chris Benoit at the Survivor Series. Benoit fumes at Angle as Noble runs the hell out of the ring. Angle shrugs his shoulders.

4. RVD (w/ Paul E) d. Booker (w/Bischoff)
Van Dam goes over with the frogsplash, Booker’s deteriorating now, and can really only be used in this type of role, given the depth of talent on the roster. Matt attacks postmatch, Matt pulling out the Counterfactual WWF standbye – the fork. Passed down from generation to generation, each wrestling company only has one fork – but some wrestling companies hoard all the forks, effectively becoming fork millionaires. Matt takes the fork to Van Dam and then to Paul E – both of them now spurting blood as Bischoff encourages greater and greater violence. Matt leaves Van Dam laid out, then points to his head with his thumbs. “Matt Har-Dy”

5. Christian (w/Trish) d. Jericho
As of this original writing, Christian had used to term Christian Coalition only once, either as a throw off line that they never went back to, or as a plan that got aborted when someone decided there would be heat. I like heat, so that’s cool with me. Incidentally, as of this original writing he had just, like that week, started using “that’s how I roll” as a catchphrase and I instantly knew it was money. So he starts hitting it right here

So, Christian’s full on cocky, Jericho’s full on DarkJericho. It’s Christian’s return and he goes over clean. Wins with the Crusader, another upset tonight. Trish, who spent the match mocking Jericho (we’ll have Trish dress like Stacy for the match, straight hair, short skirt, she’ll do Stacy’s ring entrance, she’ll use Stacy’s music, she’ll do the Beulah back arch as she climbs into the ring) and Trish even gets a kick in at Jericho during mid match – postmatch, Trish taunts Jericho, taking the mic as Jericho lies in the ring holding his head. Trish says there’s only one thing that still confuses her, is Jericho all broken hearted because he lost Stacy…or because he lost Lance.

6. Tags: HBK/HHH d. Dudleys
Duds can’t get over the veteran tag champs. It’s a superkick pinfall finish. We got a lot of booking to do here, and in fact, the next three matches are too heavily booked. You have my apologies. During the match, we get a RVD/Matt spot (as part of the prematch build, we ran a couple six mans for TV say, Dudleys/RVD, now reunited under Paul E, against Michaels/London/Spanky. I’d like some London/RVD noise to percolate a little bit, we also have HHH perhaps fuming a little that he isn’t in that six man – why does Michaels need to team with the kids, what’s he trying to say?

So, we toss in something here – we cut back to the infirmiry in the back, Van Dam and Heyman are getting stitched up, silently watching the Dudleys, offering some type of support even though they are too angry and injured to go to the ring or to actually cheer (Heyman would know what I mean) Hardy and Bischoff burst in – Hardy toppling the beds, Hardy putting the boots to both of them, ripping out the stitches, bashing in the monitor – Bischoff pushing him to go further and further, Hardy laying both guys out one more time. Hardy covered in Heyman's and Van Dam's blood.

Michaels gets fall on DVon. Postmatch, HHH/HBK are attacked by Haas and Benjamin. As the dark matches have indicated, they’ve been feuding with Spanky/London since losing their tag titles to HHH/HBK – and now they hop back into the title mix with the attack on the veteran champs. Save by Spanky and London. Now – HHH, say, has the crimson mask, he’s gotta bleed to cover up for the lack of work – and they sell that he can’t see anything, you know, wild swinging, that kinda thing.

So, when Spanky and London enter, face save – but are stopped when HHH, obviously unable to see, Pedigrees London. I mean, it has to be an unfortunate accident, right? ‘Cause Hunter wouldn’t have done that kinda thing on purpose. Right?

Spanky starts swinging at HHH, Michaels gets in between to straighten everything out. Spanky won’t hear it and he aids London in leaving the ring, leaving Michaels and HHH.

7. Worldwide Titles: Chavo d. Tajiri
The veterans, Flair and Ultimo brawl on the outside and are ejected from ringside, meaning, of course, we can get a clean finish. Chavo, by himself, goes over Tajiri and wins his first ever WWF belt. Flair/Leviathan enter postmatch – celebrating hard with Chavo as they stomp out Tajiri and throw the four fingers in the air. Wooooooo!

8. Undisputed Championship: Eddy d. Brock d. Benoit d. Angle
Lots of fun spots to do, we start with Eddy/Brock, since that’s been the main feud. Brock gets an advantage, Eddy tags in Benoit. Brock since we need to re-establish him, gets an advantage, Benoit tags in Angle. So now they can do some Angle/Brock stuff again, which is good and they have Brock tag in Benoit. It’s Benoit/Angle now, but Angle wants no part of it – recognizing he can frustrate the hot tempered Benoit – he refuses to lock up and instead tags in Eddy. That allows for some Eddy/Benoit before the match breaks down into some two on twos, some two on the inside, two on the outside, and then every man for himself.

It’s one fall to a finish and not an elimination, so we have the unusual saves. It looks like Eddy has Angle pinned after a frogsplash, but Benoit saves, and they sell that’s how much Chris Benoit needs to regain the title, that he’d stop his biggest enemy from getting pinned by his best friend.

Benoit winds up being taken out of the match though, by Jamie Noble, who beat Benoit earlier in the night, he attacks Benoit on the outside, and has him in the Crippler Crossface during the finish.

Angle’s not involved in the finish either, he’s on the apron, exhausted, it’s about a 40 minute match, and it certainly appears that he has the ability to save Brock after Eddy hits the frog splash…but Angle doesn’t and Eddy gets the fall and keeps the strap.

Much speculation about this between now and the Rumble. Did Angle have the opportunity to save Brock? Did he willingly give up on this title match? JRs theory is that Angle chose his unbeaten streak over the WWF Title, a terrible offense. Even though Angle’s on the losing side of this match, he continues to say that he is unbeaten, he’s never been beaten, he’ll never be beaten in the WWF.

The other theory, and the one offered by Angle when we get close to the Rumble (after weeks of saying he couldn’t have made the save, that the fall was too far away, or he didn’t see the fall, or he was chipping golf balls on his lawn during the fall) was that he thought if he saved Eddy, that Brock, the youngest man in the match, the healthiest man, the man in the best shape – he thought Brock was sure to win.

And, Angle will confess just before the Rumble, maybe he’s not sure he can beat Brock at this point in his career.

But…he knows he can beat Eddy. Which tips where we’re going for Royal Rumble 2004, from Barbed Wire City – Philadelphia.

Anyway, it’s Eddy with the frog splash over Brock. Eddy comes to his home state of Texas and keeps the Undisputed Championship, going over the highest competition in the world in the process. Chavo now comes back to the ring with his 3 belts, the two Guerreros go nose to nose, six title belts between them, as the show ends. Guerreros~

As stated, the 2004 Rumble is coming from Philly.

The buildup to the Rumble starts with the opening tag. The TitanTrust (all wearing XX – Where it all Beings…Again) t-shirts announce that since Philadelphia is where the three way dance was born, there will be two of them at the Royal Rumble.

Okay, the opening tag will be a three way elimination match, the winning team getting to go to Wrestlemania XX to challenge for the straps.

And you gotsta know, a spot at WM XX – it’s all anyone cares about in the entire sport.

3 RAW matches are set up, winners go to the Rumble for that 3 way opening tag dance.

First, it’s Cena and Orton getting a shot against Shane Helms and a partner of his choice. This is how we sell the importance of finding a way to Mania…Helms walks into the back where Rhyno and Moore and getting ready. They assume it’s an attack, as the three men have been in the Spree Killers war for a year. Instead, Helms tells them he has a chance to go to the Rumble (for the chance to go to XX). And he wants one of them to be his partner.

Rhyno and Moore look at each other – and then they start fighting, right there in the locker room, Moore and Rhyno, partners, without a shred of turmoil between them, start brawling right in the back. Rhyno gores Moore into the lockers, knocking him cold, then turns to Helms, “are we cool?”

Rhyno/Helms, as the SpreeKillers, go over Cena/Orton – and gain a spot at the Rumble.

The Brain Trust then tabs Ultimo – and says he needs to find a partner to wrestle Flair/Leviathan for the Rumble spot. Ultimo, in Japanese, calls Jimmy Yang to the ring.

Periodically, Ultimo’s continued throughout his TV run to beat on Yang, every time Yang makes a goofy ass “dude, my mom’s like Korean and stuff” comment, Ultimo kicks him in the head. But now he calls him out and asks to be partners. Yang is scared to death, a Japanese legend like the Ultimo Dragon chooses him. And he, of course, accepts. We get a couple of spots with them training with Tajiri, Yang being brought into the fold.

But they lose to Flair/Leviathan. Leviathan hitting the DemonBomb on Yang for the fall. Ultimo, of course, attacks Yang postmatch…but there’s a save by Tajiri. Tajiri kicks his mentor down, turning face. Flair/Leviathan go to the Rumble.

One more, as runoff from the Dudleys/Clique feud, we do Dudleys v. Spanky/London. Paul E, in an unbelievably foul mood since Survivor Series, obviously, hits the ECW thing hard, as the Rumble is in Philly. Spanky and London have had no interaction with Michaels and Helmsley until the two of them come to the back to wish them luck prematch.

Van Dam runs in on the match to aid the Dudleys. HHH/HBK run in for the save – a save that results, of course, in HHH “inadvertently” hitting London, on whom the Dudleys get the 3D.

Dudleys go to the Rumble, they’ll meet Flair/Leviathan and the SpreeKillers, winners go to XX to wrestle for the straps.

Two return singles matches converge in the buildup. It’s time for another Matt/RVD – we add the return to Philly as the new character in the match. Matt cuts an anti-ECW promo, he comes out to Van Dam’s music before a match against, say, Kidman. Matt’s particularly cocky now since laying Van Dam out at Survivor Series. He works the whole Van Dam moveset in going over Kidman, and finishes with a Van Daminator. Points to his head with his thumbs, “Matt Har-Dy” He says it’s really not that hard to be RVD. Who it’s hard to be is Matt Hardy. He’s held his tongue a long time, but it’s time Matt Hardy got some respect around here. Matt Hardy came up as a Clique ring boy, when RVD came to the WWF – in his first ever match he got a World Title shot. Matt Hardy’s been here ten years – how many singles world title shots has he gotten? Zero.

Zero. Matt gets hot. Zero! But RVD’s “extreme” RVD jumps off chairs and crashes through tables?

Are you kidding me? Does anyone remember the Tables, Ladders, and Chairs matches? In the history of this sport – no matches ever had more punishment. And who was the one guy to survive? Matt Hardy. The Dudleys – well, we know they ain’t got anything left. Edge? He’s been gone a year now. My brother Jeff? He left the business completely. The only guy left is me, Matt Har-dy.

Hit Christian’s music. Christian and Trish enter. Christian tells Matt that maybe he’s been too busy not wrestling to notice, but at Survivor Series, he came back to the ring and pinned the 2 time intercontinental champion Chris Jericho right in the middle of the ring. And if you listen to the Christian Coalition…

…fans react as they will…

…if you listen to the Christian Coalition, they’ll tell you that at the Royal Rumble, the most extreme athlete in the world today will Rock the Boulevard. And that won’t be Matt Har-Dy. And it won’t be R-V-D….it’s gonna be M-E, and that spells Me, My name is Christian – and That’s How I Roll.

Hit RVDs music. Van Dam enters. Van Dam angry – hostile – shoves Christian out of the way – Van Dam and Hardy do a nose to nose – Van Dam quietly tells Hardy that if he thinks he’s going to go to his house, going to go to Philly, and get out alive – that he’s made a miscalculation. The two are about to throw down…

…when DarkJericho, without music, enters in his streetclothes. Jericho pauses, looks at all three men, shakes his head and says, “You’re not worth my time” and starts to leave.

Trish makes some type of gay Jericho insinuation again, something that stops him cold as he starts to exit the ring. Jericho walks right up to Trish, who stands her ground, Jericho, very matter of factly looks her in the eye and says in as much of a non-wrestling promo way as possible “Trish, at the Royal Rumble…I’m going to hurt you. I am going to hurt you unbelievably badly.”

Jericho drops the mic and exits.

We’re gonna get some tags as we build to the rematches, with Jericho/Matt teaming against Christian and Van Dam – but, at some point we’re gonna switch it up, there will be a match where Matt and Christian rekindle their old ring boys feud and just go after each other, leaving Jericho and Van Dam to do the same.

The TitanTrust says that the feuds between all these men are so personal – threatening to get so far out of hand – that they can’t in all conscience run rematches in a place like Philadelphia. So, instead, they’re switching them up.

So, at the Rumble, it’s Matt against Christian and Jericho vs. RVD. The thought being that Matt’s now made a heel turn, while Christian’s act is supposed to be drawing a number of fans...meanwhile, RVD is a total face in Philly, obviously, and Dark Jericho has been acting awfully heelish.

We’ve got the Benoit/Noble rematch.

Benoit’s hot. He lost to Noble, then Noble put him in his own hold and cost him the chance to regain the WWF title. Unlike the cool heat of Jericho – Benoit runs hot – so, the night after RAW, say, Noble is in the back with Holly, talking Nascar or Jessica Simpson or some other white trash topic – Benoit doesn’t even take a pause, he barges in and drives at Noble, they brawl on the hard concrete floor of the locker room, Benoit drags Noble through the back by his hair – suplexing him into the wall, battering him into a soda machine. Holly, a face, but a southerner and a veteran, pulls Benoit off – tells him to calm down, to do it in the ring – and Benoit goes off on Holly, ramming his head into a table. Holly’s friend Morley intercedes (hey, Morley!) and Benoit just lays into him as well.

On the road to the Rumble, we can get face/face stuff with Benoit and both Holly and Morley. They keep Noble away from Benoit – he runs everytime he sees him. Benoit is all fury, all the time. We can throw Eddy in as a partner for Benoit against Holly/Morley. We get a thing where Angle makes fun of Benoit for losing.

One more singles before the title matches.

We do a nose to nose between Goldberg and Lesnar. Building for awhile, Goldberg says the only reason he came out of retirement, came to the WWF, was to headline XX – and beat Brock Lesnar for the Undisputed Championship. Goldberg/Lesnar for the Undisputed Straps at XX – it would have been the biggest match of all time.

But Brock can’t get the job done. At XIX, he couldn’t beat Kurt Angle. At,Summer Slam, he couldn’t beat Eddy Guerrero. And at Survivor Series, he got beat again – 3 shots at the gold – Brock Lesnar, “The Next Big Failure” blows it three times.

Brock enters, tells Goldberg to “jerk himself off, you jerk, jerkoff” If he had really wanted to win the title, he woulda won the title. He’s the greatest athlete in the world, he doesn’t care about these jerkoffs in the WWF, everyone who has ever won the WWF Title is a bunch of jerkoffs. You want a real sport – football is a real sport. A sport for real men, not a bunch of jerkoff sport like pro wrestling.

And that’s when, from the crowd, leaps Mick Foley with a barbed wire 2x4, that he plants in the middle of Brock Lesnar’s head.

Recall, Lesnar laid Foley out during the Triple Crown ceremony after Summer Slam.

Blood everywhere. Foley pounds away at Lesnar. Goldberg backs away as if to say, “hey, I don’t got nothing to do with this.”

The following week, Foley promos. “Four years ago Cactus Jack retired, four years ago, I knew his body couldn’t take it anymore. Cactus Jack gave all he had to give, spilled all the blood he had to spill, left his guts in this ring.

But Mick Foley’s got one more match left.

There’s nothing Mick Foley hates more than a guy who doesn’t respect my sport. Brock Lesnar won a contest, got title shots, has put in less time than 99% of the locker room, and still stands in this ring and pisses all over it. WELL, I’M NOT GOING TO PISS ON YOU AT THE ROYAL RUMBLE, LESNAR!! I’M GOING TO SLICE YOU OPEN

The Royal Rumble is in Philadelphia, Barbed Wire City. And at the Royal Rumble, I’m going to take you downtown to Chinatown, Brock Lesnar. You want to leave this company? You want to leave this sport? I’ll give you something to remember it by. At the Royal Rumble, Brock Lesnar will meet Mick Foley…

In a barbed wire match.”

So, we do that. It’s Mick’s return, which is a thing after four years, a WWF legend, Triple Crown winning Mick Foley, returns. And the barbed wire aspect adds the hardcore element to the card. People who dislike Brock will look forward to seeing him get cut up, and one wonders if Foley can possibly compete with an athlete like Lesnar, even in the gimmick match in crazy Philadelphia.

Tag titles, Haas and Benjamin, after the Survivor Series postmatch, challenge HBK and HHH. We can get singles matches in the run up. We can even do a four man one week, with Angle and Lesnar with the heels and Spanky and London with the faces. That will break down, Brock gets attacked by Goldberg (who they keep in the mix with Brock, even with the Foley program) Angle doesn’t want to take the loss, so he walks out, so it’s Haas and Benjamin, screwed, down 4-2, when London “inadvertently” takes out HHH. And Haas and Benjamin get the fall.

HHH says it was intentional, London and Spanky say the three times he keeps taking them out is intentional, Michaels has to pull them apart as the show ends.

So, we’ve got that.

I mentioned we’d have two three ways, the IC is a three way also. It’s Chavo, the new IC champ, against newly turned face Tajiri, and Rey, the megaface. It’s a great workrate match, plus we have the Chavo/Eddy thing, and the Tajiri turn going on.

And, as mentioned at Survivor Series’ end, it’s Eddy defending against Angle.

Eddy’s had the big year. Beat Benoit at XIX. Won the 64 man tournament and became Undisputed Champion and the Triple Crown holder. Then won the 4 way at Survivor Series. But he’s yet to beat Angle. No one’s ever beaten Kurt Angle.

Angle talks about the match as if it’s easy. “I didn’t try to stop Eddy from pinning Brock because I know I can beat Eddy Guerrero. No offense to Eddy, but lets be honest people, he’s not in my league. You know it, I know it, even Vince McMahon, still drooling in his hospital bed since I hit him with the angle slam knows it. Oh, it’s true. It’s true. If Eddy Guerrero has the best day of his life, if every one of those mutants in Philadelphia is on his side, if the referee is his mother and the timekeeper is his grandmother and they all bring piñatas on sticks to beat me with – the only thing that will happen is that I’m walking out of that ring with a load of candy, two gold medals, and my Undisputed Championship of the World.

And why?

Because I’m Kurt Angle.”

And that’s your show. Top to bottom, bottom to top, it’s a lot of card.

Eddy defends against Angle for the three big belts. Chavo defends in the workrate three way for the Worldwide against Rey and Tajiri. HBK/HHH defending the straps against Haas and Benjamin. The legendary Mick Foley returns after four years – and he’s in a barbed wire match against Brock Lesnar. Benoit gets Jamie Noble in a rematch. With our matchup shakeup, it’s Jericho against RVD, and it’s Christian against Matt, we also have the three way tag to open it up, Dudleys v. Spree Killers v. Flair and Leviathan.

All in Philadelphia as we march to XX.

Fuck that’s a good show. Buy it. Royal Rumble 2004

Summer Slam 2003

XIX is here.

SummerSlam 2003 (Phoenix)
(Dark: Haas/Benjamin d. London/Spanky)
(Dark: Ultimo Dragon d. Shane Helms)

JR/Taz on the announce.

(Open with a video package spotlighting the four guys around which the company is revolving: Eddy, one of the great wrestlers who ever lived, looking to win the Undisputed Title and the Triple Crown….Brock, the destructive, egotistical bully, a former NCAA Champion, looking like an unstoppable force…Benoit, fighting to be considered the greatest wrestler of all time, a multi-time champion finally away from the Alliance and the Horsemen, gets his long awaited rematch against Angle…and Angle, beloved champion shockingly turned antagonist, he’s making his first return to the ring since neck surgery, still without a professional wrestling defeat…)

1. SpreeKillers draw La Resistance (no contest)
Moore and Rhyno attack the French kids in the back, punking them out, SpreeKiller style, Helms then attacks Moore and Rhyno, furthering the feud over the Spree Killer gimmick – Helms, Moore, and Rhyno – all shirtless with the scrawlings all over them brawl in the back – whenever La Resistance shows signs of recovering, the Spree Killers unite to destroy them quickly, then they go back to the brawl.

We see the TitanTrust (Dean, Arn, Fit) in the back huddling as to what to do without the first match, and then we see Kurt Angle make his way to the ring.

Angle, bald, has the American flag singlet, but now it’s black. He’s Bizarro Angle. Here’s where his turn deviates from Bret’s, the wrestler to whom he is most similar. The weight of being on top, with Owen and Shawn always at his heels, grew too much, Bret grew bitter at his perceived lack of respect from the fans. We got an underlying tease of that with Angle, but we also laid the groundwork, when Angle was beating the NWA guys, that Angle kinda dug being a heel. And that’s what they sell, Angle liked getting booed, he saw that guys like Brock were having a helluva time. He’s always lived his life according to the rules, imagine the life of the amateur wrestler, toiling away in obscurity, sweating out twelve pounds in 7 hours to make weight, turning your body into a machine just for your own community while those football players make all the money – but still, you keep going, because “I’m Kurt Angle” and that’s what you do –you won a gold medal, but where was your parade, why didn’t you become Bruce Jenner or Mary Lou Retton - you won the WWF title, you’re still unbeaten, and you realize you weren’t having half the fun of Brock, taping guys buttcheeks together, snearing himself with Jericho’s blood, mocking the Rock, dropping Helmsley on his head on the white ramp – he just does whatever he feels like, whenever he feels like it.

“And what Kurt Angle felt like doing on Monday, was Angle slamming Vinnie Mac into next week. What Kurt Angle felt like doing on Monday was strapping on a halo, getting into a wheelchair and pretending to be some lame ass cripple, with the drool coming out of my mouth and the girls in the front row crying – it was hiliarous – you should have seen the look on your faces – priceless – and what Kurt Angle felt like doing on Monday was showing Eddy Guerrero that he could win a hundred tournaments and he’ll still never be a champion. And what Kurt Angle feels like doing tonight is beating Chris Benoit – again – to prove once again, that there is no one in this world, who will ever beat Kurt Angle. “

Brock enters. Note that Brock wasn’t in on the plan – he looks at Angle in a little bit of awe, like he’s risen from the dead. Brock says he doesn’t know what happened, but Kurt Angle is the craziest son of a bitch he’s ever met. And tonight, after Angle takes care of Benoit, Brock Lesnar will win the Undisputed Championship by destroying that illegal alien Eddy Guerrero – and the two of them will go out and tear up the town as the two greatest wrestlers of all time. And maybe on RAW, tomorrow night, Brock Lesnar will defend his Undisputed Championship…

“…or maybe instead, I won’t show up at all. Maybe instead, Brock Lesnar is going to win the Undisputed Championship and take the belts back home to Minnesota, maybe I’ll sell them on Ebay, maybe I’ll go play in the NFL, maybe I’ll go off to Hollywood and take jobs away from that punkass Rock, maybe I won’t do any of those things at all – but the only thing you can count on is Brock Lesnar will do what he wants to do, when he wants to do it.”

Benoit enters. Says “the two of you idiots mock my passion, this is the WWF, it’s not about you Lesnar, it’s not about you, Angle, it’s about the sacrifice of every man who has ever stepped foot in that locker room to build this ring. It’s about the Dynamite Kid, who wrestled until he was in a wheelchair for real – and when you come out to this ring, Angle, when you come out in a wheelchair – you mock his legend, you mock his sacrifice, you mock the blood that has been spilled in this ring – and you mock me, Angle – when you mock my ring – you mock me – and I will show you what I think about people who mock me, Angle – I’ll show both of you, right now.”

Angle does a Benoit impression, fake seething “I’ll show both of you right now”, he says, “this is exactly what I was talking about, Benoit, your face is all tense, you’re probably close to stroking out here in Phoenix, where they probably don’t even have any doctors, and you just challenged two real athletes to a match.

You are exactly who I don’t want to wind up like, Benoit.

But, I’ll tell you what – we’re a match short, so Brock and I are gonna take you up on this, Chris – we’re gonna make Summer Slam history – because we’re gonna take you apart right now…

Heels beat on Benoit. Benoit comes back. Heels beat on Benoit. Benoit can’t come back, he struggles, he struggles – and then Eddy enters.

Fans should be chanting for Eddy to make the superman save. We’re in Phoenix (and Dallas for Survivor Series) which will mean a large Hispanic fan base. The tournament reads as just one big block of matches, but it’s actually months around which the company is built, and the guy getting the big push is Eddy. He beat Benoit at Mania – then beat Benoit in the tournament – and now has the title shot after the face turn and here we are.

So, Eddy gets the chants, he and Benoit get an advantage – but Angle cheats in some major way to further the heel turn, say he splits Eddy open with one of the title belts which are prominently displayed at ringside. Angle Slams and F5s on both faces.

2. Goldberg d. Diesel
They keep it short. It’s Nash’s first PPV match since he left for the NWA. So, they sell that as a big deal – and we show the Goldberg/Nash partnership from the NWA to familiarize WWF fans with their history.

Goldberg goes over powerfully, clean with the spear and the jackknife, as this finishes Nash up. No Clique presence, Goldberg stands on the buckle yelling out, ‘I’m the Next Big Thing!” Then goes back and F5s Nash. “That’s how you do it!”

3. Cage Match: RVD (w/Heyman) d. Matt (w/Bischoff)
Paul E yells at Van Dam, looking to fire him up, the whole way down the ramp, “this guy beat you twice, he thinks he’s extreme, you’re the legacy of ECW and this guy keeps beating you.” Van Dam keeps the intensity shown after the tournament, this is a classic midcard feud, Matt establishing himself as a singles daredevil against the ECW icon Van Dam. It’s a pinfall match – ending with a frogsplash from the top of the cage. The win’s not enough for Heyman though, ‘cause this is a blood feud between he and Eric – he rams Bischoff’s head into the cage – and then drags him in – Heyman’s got handcuffs – he cuffs Hardy and Bischoff to the cage – bringing in a chair – and he tells RVD to lay them both out with the chair – Van Dam mixed – that’s lots of heel, hitting defenseless men with a chair – but like Bischoff’s sway on Matt – the angle is Heyman’s sway on Van Dam – and he plants the chair into each man’s head. Blood everywhere in the cage, blood spattering onto both Heyman and Van Dam – RVD flips them both off before pointing his thumbs to his head.

4. Y2J d. Flair (w/Leviathan)
Jericho, with the beard growing, with the pyro gone, the costume changed, the music sparse, wins with the Liontamer. The story is Jericho’s aggressiveness toward Leviathan, he doesn’t wait to be attacked from the outside, he attacks Leviathan (still with Cowboy Bob cast) Jericho gets the worst of the exchange, ‘cause it’s Leviathan with a cast, but he keeps going back. The announce at some point, wonders if Jericho has a death wish…

…also, there’s no Chavo, and since he’s not on the card, we speculate about that.

Jericho goes over, won’t release the Liontamer, even when Leviathan hits the ring to beat him down, Jericho just waves Leviathan on over with a free hand.

Flair and Leviathan beat the hell out of Jericho postmatch, leaving him bloody once again and when they exit, he sits in the ring with a sick smile.

They repeat the spot tomorrow on RAW with Dead Men Walking, but I can’t really describe it without tipping the tag finish, so I’ll wait.

5. 30 Minute Iron Man: Kurt Angle draw Chris Benoit (time limit)
And now we get to it. Angle’s full heel, pulls up the mat on the outside, pulls up the turnbuckle pad, holds the tights, goes low, thumb to the eye – does every clichéd heel trick, as if saying to the fans, “I’ll give you something to boo about.”

Benoit, after 15 or so minutes of this, finally does something himself, say, piledriving Angle onto the steel steps after pausing a moment to allow the fans to tell him it was okay.

It’s a 30 minute time limit draw. Benoit asks for five more minutes, fans chant for five more minutes, Angle says nope. He signed for 30, now he’s going home.

Crowd boos. Announce is revolted, Kurt Angle, the Kurt Angle, just walking away from competition? Yup. Angle waves to Benoit who stands in the ring shocked as Angle walks back up the ramp and leaves. Boo. Boo. Boo.

So, Angle doesn’t win, but as he reminds us the following night – he’s still unbeaten.

See what he did there?

6. Tags: No DQ: HBK/HHH d. DMW
Undertaker, of course, has never won a title, so they sell that (I think this is probably his last shot) and it’s a real veteran matchup, with Michaels/Undertaker being a battle of WWF legends.

They book it heavy, PAUL~, the member of DMW not in the match enters at one point, causing London and Spanky to run in and doubleteam him. Say, Michaels was down from a double chokeslam, and then HHH used the sledgehammer to take out Taker and Kane. PAUL entered to chokeslam HHH, and then London and Spanky entered to doubleteam PAUL and send him out of the ring HHH comes to, he’s groggy and grabs the sledgehammer and levels… Spanky.

It’s an accident, of course, ‘cause why would HHH do that? I mean, it couldn’t be that he was pissed that these kids would help him out. Right? He’s not that kinda guy. Right? He couldn’t have been jealous that the young guys were better than he was. Hey – know what’s a good spot – at some point, Hunter’s watching a London/Spanky tag on RAW and says those kids don’t know how to work.

Michaels gets the fall on Kane, Michaels goes over for the keep. He and HHH tend to Spanky, London noticeably is wary of HHH.

7. Worldwide Titles: Tajiri d. Rey
Tajiri wins his second IC, which ties him for second all time with lots of folks. Great match, Ultimo comes down the ringside at one point for some interference, he does his rapid fire kicks at little Rey, helping Tajiri gain control.

Tajiri goes over, beating Rey again, Hispanic crowd unhappy with that. Chavo enters postmatch and beats them both down. Chavo stands alone, holding the three belts in the air triumphantly as he holds up the four fingers for the Horsemen. Announce puts him over hard. Chavo takes out both Rey and Tajiri and holds up the 3 belts.

8. Undisputed Championship: Eddy Guerrero d. Brock Lesnar
Eddy wins the WWF Title and for the first time in like five years, we have a Triple Crown winner.

Same match as they actually had when Eddy won the strap. Brock uses his size advantage to dominate. We’ll get a spot where Angle, who didn’t go home at all, attempts to run in, Benoit stops him from getting to the ring, they fight back up the ramp.

Brock hits the F5, Eddy kicks out. Brock goes for it again, Eddy counters with a DDT and then hits the frog splash for the win.

Emotional moment. Eddy’s family, who we know now from the Guerrero/Hart pieces before the Eddy/Benoit tournament match, is at ringside and they enter, including Mondo, Hector, and Chavo, Sr. Little Rey enters, Paul London enters, he’s Hispanic after all – and the announce notes what an enormous deal it is that here, in Phoenix, a Hispanic man has become the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion. Benoit enters, there’s a bit of a pause, but Benoit raises Eddy’s hand in triumph for the big pop.

And then we Bret/Owen the finish. Chavo hits the ramp. Chavo had the big night, wiping out the two IC competitors, but he’s once again been trumped by Uncle Eddy. He’s always behind Uncle Eddy. Chavo hatefully stares into the ring as his family, even his father, celebrates as Eddy becomes the toast of the wrestling world.

Survivor Series is coming from Dallas, home state of Eddy and Chavo Guerrero.

RAW the night after the PPV opens, for the first time in years, with a shot of the Owen Hart Memorial Triple Crown Trophy in the ring.

PEDRO MORALES
BRET HART
SHAWN MICHAELS
OWEN HART
STEVE AUSTIN
CACTUS JACK
EDDY GUERRERO

Hit Foley’s music. Hey, it’s Mick Foley!

Foley returns for the ceremonial passing of the trophy. Foley thanks the fans for remembering, says the Trophy’s been on his shelf for five years and he’s just glad to get rid of the damn thing, he has to clear off some room for the Pulitzer Prizes he’s sure to win for his many books – all available in local bookstores, ask for them by name.

He calls out Eddy. Eddy enters, big pop. Foley says only 6 men in wrestling history have ever won the sport’s highest honor – and he’s proud to award it to the 7 th. Eddy thanks Mick, thanks the fans, says he’s honored to have a trophy which was won by a Hispanic, Pedro Morales (hopefully we can get Pedro for the show) and honored to be the first winner since it was named after Owen Hart.

Eddy and Mick shake. Fans cheer. And here comes Angle.

Angle says he’s sorry to bust up the party, but he’s Kurt Angle, undefeated, and if there’s a man who should be celebrated, it’s Kurt Angle. Eddy Guerrero knows, Mick Foley knows, everyone knows that the real Undisputed Champion is the man who never lost the belt – the real Undisputed Champion is Kurt Angle, the man who always wins. Last night, Eddy might have beaten Brock – but Eddy Guerrero’s never beaten – no man has ever beaten – Kurt Angle.

Here comes Benoit.

Benoit shakes Eddy’s hand. Benoit shakes Foley’s hand. Benoit says that Kurt Angle’s forgetting something – that last night, at Summer Slam, Angle didn’t win. Angle didn’t beat Chris Benoit – and if Angle had any guts, he would have accepted Benoit’s offer to go five more minutes, and then no one would ever have to hear about undefeated Kurt Angle ever again.

Foley interjects. He says he doesn’t mean to be presumptuous, but as a former Triple Crown winner, and a bonafide WWF legend, he has a suggestion. For the Main Event at Survivor Series, how about Eddy Guerrero….vs….Kurt Angle…..vs. Chris Benoit…..

The fans pop.

Here comes Brock.

Lesnar says that idea sucks.

All Eddy and Benoit will do is double team Kurt. And last night, everyone knows that it was a fluke that Eddy Guerrero beat him. If there’s gonna be a title match at Survivor Series, it’s gonna be a four way.

Which, incidentally, is what we’re gonna do.

But Foley tweaks Brock, saying that he’s been watching at his palatial Long Island estate, and it looks to him like Brock’s had two chances to win the Undisputed Championship – and he’s lost both times – what makes him think he deserves a third chance? What’s Brock Lesnar ever done?

Brock says, old man, I’ll show you what I’ve done.

And Brock attacks Foley.

Benoit and Guerrero try to react – but now they’re fighting Angle.

Brock F5s Foley, leaving him laid out in the ring.

So, that’s our four way for the title.

Benoit, as it turns out, will wind up wrestling twice. As we get closer to the PPV, Angle will pay off Noble to attack him. He’ll give him, I don’t know, like a gift certificate to WalMart or a Brooks and Dunn autographed CD. All the while telling Noble that if he wants something in this business, he has to take it.

That leads to the completion of Noble’s heel turn as he wipes out Kidman, and then leads to Noble’s jumping Benoit during a Benoit/Eddy v. Angle/Brock tag on RAW. So, we also have Benoit/Noble at the PPV. Benoit’s working twice, including for the big strap, so, that’s rare, you know.

Undertaker and PAUL~ will be wrestling the young Bashams. We get the DMW spot alluded to earlier, Jericho goes to the locker room where the three of them are sitting – and just rips on them for failing to win the tag straps. Again, the announce notes that Jericho seems to have a death wish. And the three monsters destroy him. Jericho, once again, winds up bloody but still smiles sickly.

The next week, Trish, not seen for awhile, cuts a promo on Jericho. She says he’s giving people from Toronto a bad name, that first, he couldn’t hold onto his woman, and now he keeps getting his ass kicked, she says if Jericho wants to get beaten up this week, why doesn’t he come out to the ring and let her do it.

Dark Jericho enters, says he doesn’t have time for a turncoat like Trish. For a Canadian slut to join the Clique makes him sick, and he doesn’t have any interest in being in the same ring with her.

Trish does a psychosexual thing now, bringing up Stacy, coming onto Jericho, saying that maybe if her legs were longer or her hair were straighter, that Chris wouldn’t be so quick to kick her out of the ring. Trish coos, tells Jericho to just close his eyes and pretend she’s Stacy, pretend she’s come back to him, pretend she still loves him…Jericho resists, but the sadness overcomes him and he closes his eyes – and as Trish moves in for a kiss – Christian enters and lays Jericho out.

Heel pop for the returning Christian. As we’ll see, this is the current Christian, short hair, a little more mature and a little less goofy than Christian of E and C fame. He calls his nonexistent fans the Christian Coalition. He calls his facebuster finisher the Crusader. We’re gonna get Jericho/Christian, some Harts/Clique comin’ at ya, at Survivor Series.

RVD and Paul E gloat about taking Matt out. Bitc-off pushed and pushed – he insulted who we were – he tried to pass himself off as the carrying the banner for the NWA – he tried to pass himself off as being the savior for Matt Hardy – and what happened was he got Matt Hardy killed.

Bischoff enters slowly. Says Matt’s home recuperating – but this war isn’t over – it’s just getting started – and it will continue at Survivor Series. Matt’s not here – but Eric’s hired a replacement – Eric’s laid out some cash to hire a man to take out RVD – a man who is more than willing to go to his home state of Texas to do it…

Hit the music…I GOT TO GET PAID!!

Booker enters. If ATM Eric’s got the cash – Book’s got the time. Book tells Van Dam it ain’t personal – but he’s got mouths to feed, suits to buy, and Escalade payments to make. Dolla bill y’all. Big pimpin, spendin’ cheese.


So we’ll get that at the PPV.

Paul E gets another one at the PPV. He’ll promo on HHH/HBK, saying it’s embarrassing that the combined age of the Unified tag champs is 467 years old, saying that’s the kind of thing that never would have happened at ECW.

Michaels and Hunter enter, they promo on Paul E, threaten him, run down ECW…when they are attacked by the Dudley Boys. 3D to Michaels. 3D to Hunter. The two time WWF tag champs have returned – and they’ve turned heel – after being apart during their full run - they finally hug Paul E and the three men pose.

So, we’ll get that at Survivor Series.

Goldberg promos. Says he’s the most dominant man alive. The most dominant man in all of wrestling – he’s the next big thing.

Brock enters, tells Goldberg that he’s going to be too busy at Survivor Series winning the Undisputed Championship to deal with him – but afterward – if Goldberg wants to go, then the two of them – the two most physically imposing men in all the world – will go.

Enter…Scott Steiner.

Steiner, 12 years removed from when he was WWF tag champion (and when he could actually wrestle) returns to the WWF. Steiner, crazy jacked up, says maybe he didn’t hear right, but if we’re going to talk physically imposing, let’s start with Big Poppa Pump. Steiner kisses a bicep.

The three men brawl in the ring. We’re gonna get Goldberg/Steiner at Survivor Series.

Finally, we’re gonna get Chavo and Tajiri for the IC. Tajiri won it at the PPV but was then attacked by Chavo. They’re both heels, they’ll keep Ultimo in the mix, cause he can’t get on the card, but he’s the Ultimo Dragon and he oughta be in the mix. They position him as Flair’s equivalent, as Flair’s gonna be in Chavo’s corner – Ultimo’s in Tajiri’s. We’ll get a tag match on RAW, we’ll get a singles between Ultimo/Flair, as part of the buildup to the PPV.

And of course – the four way in the main event. They tell more Eddy/Benoit story, developing the similarity between Harts and Guerreros – as now Eddy is finally at the top of the sport. They tell more Angle/Brock – as Kurt’s off the rails and Brock’s always Brock. It’s one fall to a finish – Eddy can lose the belt without getting pinned. Will he retain – will the newest Triple Crown Winner retain the belt? Will it be Benoit? Arguably the greatest wrestler who ever lived – will he regain the WWF Championship? And what about the unbeaten Angle? Will Kurt Angle, who had to give up the belt to have neck surgery after Mania, regain the title? Or will it be the kid, Lesnar, as obnoxious as he is talented.


So, it’s Survivor Series ’03 from Dallas. We’ve got the Fatal Four Way for thr big straps: Eddy v. Benoit v. Angle v. Brock, we’ve got Tajiri and Chavo for the Worldwide Titles, with Flair and Ultimo in their corners, we’ve got HBK/HHH defending against the returning Dudleys in a Falls Count Anywhere. We’ve got DarkJericho against the returning Christian. We’ve got RVD against Booker, as always in the ECW Rules match, We’ve got Benoit’s first match of the evening, don’t forget against the Redneck Messiah, Jamie Mothertruckin Noble, we’ve got Goldberg against Scott Steiner, and we’ve got DMW in the opening tag. It’s Survivor Series 2003. Call your thing! Call it today!