Royal Rumble 2001

Survivor Series is here.

Royal Rumble 2001 New Orleans(Dark – Taka d. Aguila)

JR introduces his special guest partner - HHH, who, after being bounced from the Clique, is working on that face turn. Enjoy!

We quickly cut to Skip, PAUL~, and Skip’s 4 person staff walking to the ring in which Taka remains after the dark match. JR excitedly explains that Taka has just beaten Aguila in a match before we went on the air, and we don’t know why Skip McMahon is headed to the ring, but we may be in for some format changes tonight, so hold on tight folks.

Skip makes his offer to Taka. Taka’s little and he’s foreign and why is he on the payroll?
(no one, by the way, gets screwed in the Counterfactual like Taka)

But Skip wants to avoid any affirmative action issues with his staff – so if Taka wants to join, maybe as his personal photographer – he can – otherwise, it’s a firing and a chokeslam.

Taka considers it --- then flips Skip off – leading us right into ---

1. Taka d. PAUL~
-Taka uses his quickness to escape PAUL’s power, and is able to chop him down and get the flash fall. Big pop, obviously, from the people. PAUL then loses it and breaks everyone in half. The whole staff, Lawler, Taylor, Dogg, Billy, Taka, and then an entering Sho Funaki, trying to help Taka – all of them chokeslammed to death, Skip loves it, jumping around as PAUL~ destroys a half dozen wrestlers, with all of them taking as much as they’re willing to take (or even unwilling to take – fuck ‘em, it’s the end of the run for all six) Skip says “6 down, 50 to go – I’ll own this company piece by piece if I have to – you’re all fired!”

2. Winners go to Mania: Hardys d. Dudleys (DQ)
Winner goes to Mania is the stip – so the Dudleys have mixed feelings with the finish. Hardys had a fall, maybe, although maybe DVon could have kicked out, but we won’t know as Justin Credible (wearing a Fueled by Hatred…The Revolution Lives On t-shirt) enters with a chair – chairshots to both Hardys. The Hardys are just gonna get the hell beaten out of them here.

The Duds are a mixture of surprised and excited to see their friend, coming off having Raven appear. And they join Justin in the beating of the Hardys (after all, they did kill Stevie, so fuck them) but now they’ve lost their Mania title shot – and what the hell kind of shirt is Justin wearing?

Raven and Taz, both wearing the same t-shirt as Justin, enter for the beating, the Hardys are stretchered out – Raven, Taz, Justin posing afterward, yelling out ‘EC Fucking W” as the Dudleys look on concerned. They left ECW, they've established their own thing - they won the tag straps - and what the hell is going on around here?

3. Undertaker d. Al
Al is now strictly talent enhancement; he won’t get on another PPV for over a year. So, they use him to keep the dead guy gliding to Mania. ‘Taker holds up 5 figures, symbolizing that he is going for his tiebreaking 5th legends win once again as XVII approaches

4. Winner Goes to Mania: Morley d. Perry
A good, good win for the Abolitionist. He goes over clean, in what will be Perry’s last PPV appearance. Morley goes to Mania! Rise up and cheer!

5. Number One Contender's Match: Angle d. Rock
Also going to Mania – Kurt Angle. A year and a half into his unbeaten streak, Angle will finally get his shot at the WWF Championship at Wrestlemania XVII. Angle wins clean here with the Angle Slam, he and Rock shake hands afterward – Angle makes the motion for the belt as the people chant his name. The hope is that the people are dying for this match at this point – as we’ve been building for it since the day after Benoit won the title at the last Mania. They've kept them apart, letting both guys build up their records…and now, we’re ready to pop at the big show.

6. WWF Tags: No DQ: Raven/Taz (w/ Justin and Dudleys) d. E and C (w/Trish)
Challengers introduced first, so they’re in the ring, Justin leading the fans who are so disposed in the E-C-W chant. Clique next, and Waltman’s with them – and that means Hunter goes nuts - Helmsley attacks Waltman, sprinting from the announce - taking shots at E and C - and – pedigrees Waltman on the ramp.

Face pop for Helmsley, Trish will help Waltman to the back – E and C look to attack Hunter, but they are then attacked by Raven and Taz – and that starts the match.

It’s a No DQ, as you’ll see for the ECW matches, so they can do them garbage style. They continue to push this storyline – which is the Dudleys unease with what is occurring. But they participate in the interference, ‘cause they’re the Dudleys, after all. The numbers are way too much for E and C, who wind up taking a pretty good beating – which also occurs postmatch – and E and C wind up needing to be helped from the ring after dropping their belts. Again, the posing, the ECW chants, the disconcerted Duds. Raven and Taz are your new tag team champions.

7. IC: Regal d. Austin
Hot match, pitched battle. Rivals coming up, rivals in the NWA, rivals in WWF (and boys, Regal’s probably the guy in the company Austin was closest with, if Austin was close to anyone) and it’s Regal who keeps the belt, holding the ropes for leverage during the fall. Regal sneers over Austin and has his manservant place the title belt around his waist.

8. WWF Title: Benoit d. Jericho
And now, once again, we have another great main event and another top show. We get lots of Hart spots, stuff from Bret/Davey Boy matches, stuff from Bret/Owen matches – there’s sharpshooter spots, Benoit hits Dynamite’s snap suplexes and diving headbutt, Jericho hits Owen’s enziguiri and Owen’s stiff legged missle dropkick. Benoit hits Bret’s Russian legsweep and drops Bret’s midrope elbow. It’s all Stampede, all the time.

Benoit gets the fall after a classic match, Benoit’s best WWF match so far, and the best match of Jericho’s life. Benoit starts to stomp Jericho out postmatch…save by Angle….Angle and Benoit go nose to nose as the show ends.

The NWA dies in Nashville in February. Dustin gets a tag win. Mike Awesome beats Jarrett. Nash beats Luger. Scott beats Rick as the Steiners explode. Jimmy Yang beats Kaz. Your final NWA tag champs…Page and Kanyon, who beat Helms and Moore. Your final TV champ…Lance, who keeps over Noble. And the final champ is Rey Mysterio, who keeps over Chavo. There’s much weeping in the ring, as Flair takes the mic., Flair says this is the finest wrestling organization of all time – and the spirit of the NWA will live on forever – and maybe resurface sooner than you think.

Superbrawl 2001 Nashville
NWA Title: Rey Mysterio d. Chavo Guerrero
US Title: Lance Storm d. Jamie Noble
Tags: DDP/Kanyon d. Helms/Shannon Moore
Yang d. Kaz

Scott d. Rick
Kevin Nash d. Lex Luger
Mike Awesome d. Jeff Jarrett
Palumbo/Dustin d. Bagwell/Crush


Wrestlemania XVII is coming from Houston.

Okay, your opening tag…Vince and Skip for control of the WWF. Skip and PAUL are out tormenting someone during RAW - Vince, for the first time in nearly two years, returns to WWF TV. Vince, thinner, if that's possible, after a couple of years in Nepal has spent the last couple recuperating from the chokeslam from PAUL, appears on the video wall - say from a hospital bed. Vince says he can't allow his family name to be torn down by his disgraceful son. Vince revered his father, he says, has always believed in wrestling, loved his wrestlers and the fans - and to see Skip treat them all this badly disgusts him.

So, for all the marbles, in a tag match to open XVII they meet.

Skip, of course, will tag with PAUL, if they win, Skip’s the new boss. Vince looks for a tag partner and settles on Kane. If they win, Skip goes away. Vince stays away from the arenas, and Kane becomes the point man for the face side of that program. It’s not as bad as it seems. Really.

Your legend’s match is obviously Undertaker/Rock. Rock’s the Scorpion King and JR keeps calling him a legend in the making. Undertaker is now rolling with a couple of wins, he attacks the Rock at some point – and there’s the match. Taker remains tied with Andre and Hogan at 4 legend's wins.

Just like Morley went after the Southern Men and the Clique and the Alliance – he goes after the ECW contingent. He won a match for XVII - and they'll do Morley/Justin, who is sufficiently obnoxious to draw out the righteous fury of the Abolitionist. More on ECW when we hit the tag title match.

It’s time for the HHH/Waltman blowoff. To keep from Clique interference, they'll do it in a steel cage. We get clips of all the Clique on Clique stuff from years past, Razor, Diesel, Michaels – all the times they went after each other. This is one years in the making, HHH and Waltman have never wrestled before, best friends for years, and it’s also HHH first match as a babyface. The Clique will cut promos on Hunter saying he’s the only guy in Clique history without a title belt (true). Hunter will take on the role as the veteran, a locker room guy, a guy who has been in the WWF through change after change – and Hunter says he’ll always be Clique – I see him alone in the ring doing the handsign.

Workrate? Would you like some workrate? I figured.

They keep Jericho in the Angle/Benoit program – we could do Jericho in singles against both guys, build to a Jericho/Angle tag against Benoit/Perry – but Perry winds up getting taken out, and that means Benoit has to find a new partner.

He does. Eddy.

Eddy returns to the WWF – and we’ll get Eddy/Jericho III. They traded off the IC – now they go once more – Eddy is especially nasty in his return, Jericho is your cocky Hart. They sell the in ring wrestling aspect, talk about the great technical action in the past, compare Jericho to Bret and Owen. That tag ends with Angle pinning Eddy – but then a returning Dean (and Perry, who wasn’t really hurt at all) lay the faces out. The Alliance stands together again.

The IC is a rematch, Regal/Austin III. They'll do this as a falls count anywhere. So, like Eddy/Jericho, they have a compelling, face v. heel matchup – a rematch that contrasts styles, allows for great promos, great personality differences, and a really, really terrific in ring matchup. Regal promos on Austin’s losing at both PPVs since his year off, talks about Austin being done, said he belongs with Foley and Michaels and Bret. Austin does various versions of how Austin 3:16 says certain things.

Tag titles…

Raven, Taz, and Justin work to convince the Dudleys that this is the best thing that ever happened.

With both the Hardys and E and C injured by the ECW group at the Rumble, both teams hospitalized – no one is sure who Raven/Taz will defend against at Mania. It looks, perhaps, that they won’t defend it at all – and Raven and Justin cackle about how the plan is coming together.

JR will do an in-ring, say the WWF got an interesting phone call – and have decided that Raven and Taz will defend their titles at XVII against…the Dudley Boys…

Raven/Taz not thrilled – Dudleys pretty happy. But they’re all family, after all, so it’s cool.

At some point, E and C return. Trish says E and C have a rematch clause in their contracts – and even though they were injured – they will never be kept away from Wrestlemania – so they want in the match.

Now it’s a 3 way.

And then, the Hardys return. Matt and Jeff say they beat the Dudleys at the Rumble – and they’re back to claim their shot.

So, it’s a 4 way. Elimination match. First fall is a No DQ. Second fall, a submission only. Third fall winner is obviously the tag team champion. The dynamic as we move toward Mania is that the Ring Boys realize they have to come together to avoid getting overwhelmed by the Dudleys and Taz/Raven. So, even though they don’t like each other – they start to look out for each other, we get singles matches, tags, three and four ways as we move to Mania, any possible combination. It’s largely 4 on 4 – but obviously the Hardys and E and C don’t really trust each other or like each other (E and C aren’t turning, they stay full heel) and there’s the odd undercurrent in the ECW camp.

We’ll get an 8 man just before Mania, ECW wins when the Ring Boys alliance breaks down, and the two teams brawl, costing them the fall.

That leaves the celebrating ECW team in the ring…when down the ramp, in a wheelchair, comes Stevie Richards. He's been in a coma or had memory loss - whatever seems less ridiculous and could account for the fact that he's able to reveal this now.

Duds are excited to see him – Stevie hadn’t been taking any visitors in the hospital for weeks, Duds say, hey, look – now we’re a real Hardcore Family.

Raven, Taz, oddly enough, less excited to see Stevie.

Stevie says a lot’s happened while he was gone. His old home, ECW, got condemned.

Stevie says he has different memories of ECW than the other guys in the ring – he wasn’t a champion like Raven or Taz or the Dudleys – he was just a guy trying to earn a paycheck. So, when he came to the WWF to start the Hardcore Family – he was trying to spread his wings, to create his own spot – to put himself in a position where he was never held down by anyone.

But, Stevie says, for some people – that was unacceptable.

Stevie found this out on the night he got attacked in the parking lot.

By the Hardys – say the Dudleys. By the Hardys.

…by Raven. Says Stevie. BY THAT SON OF A BITCH RAVEN!

Everyone looks at Raven - Dudleys shocked, Justin smirks, Taz even looks surprised, Raven starts to giggle. Stevie says they don’t want to be in a Hardcore Family – they want a Revolution – and the Dudley Boys know who they want to lead that Revolution..and it sure ain’t any of them.

Raven says you can’t believe Stevie, he’s a degenerate, you know that – he’s malformed and freakish and a little creepy and he’s incapable of telling the truth. Taz yells out, “Screw this – you bitches wanna go – let’s go –

And so they brawl. And we have our tag match.

And then there’s the title match, one of the matches most anticipated in wrestling history. Chris Benoit, he’s held the belt now for a year, three time NWA Champ – arguably the greatest wrestler who ever lived. Kurt Angle, one of the greatest American amateur wrestlers of all time, unbeaten as a professional for almost 2 years – he gets his first title shot. No gimmicks. There’s your match. Benoit/Angle. WWF Title. After that tag between them right after the Rumble when Eddy and Dean returned - the Alliance attacked Angle a couple of times, leading to a ruling that any Alliance member who attacked Angle would not have a match at XVII.

So, they all stayed away - but the RAW before - Dean and Perry (say they had a tag match scheduled) attack Angle anyway - as savagely as they can do - bloodying him up, leaving him in a heap - hurting Angle, really for the first time in his career. They do some type of neck thing, which draws gasps from JR. Dean and Perry give up their spot at Mania just for the team - Benoit and Eddy stand by and watch - maybe keeping people away - knocking other wrestlers or security out - which doesn't jeopardize their spots. Say they do a hanging through the ropes spot, the ropes choking Angle out while Dean and Perry split him open with chairs.

And finally - JR announces if that's not enough, he has two special guest commentators for XVII - and they are two very sopecial guest commentators -

Cut to the video wall -

Cornette and Heenan. Bobby had the vocal issue, but he and Cornette do some back and forth on tape. Bobby and Cornette, along with Jesse the WWF analysts of the longest standing - both return to the company at Wrestlemania XVII!!

And so you buy it. Benoit/Angle, the match a year in the making The crazy 4 way tag title: Raven and Taz, the Dudleys, E and C, the Hardys - all four teams filled with hatred. Regal/Austin 3, falls count anywhere for the IC, and Jericho/Eddy 3, both terrific matches. We’ve got HHH/Waltman in a cage, the Rock/UT legends match, Morley faces Justin and the tag match for the company, Vince/Kane against Skip/PAUL.

Seriously, just call. Just call your thing. Wrestlemania 17! It's gonna be a happening!

Survivor Series 2000

Summer Slam is here.

Survivor Series 2000 (Tampa)
(Dark – Aguila d. Killings)

JR introduces his special guest commentator - Mick Foley. Bang, Bang!

Skip’s music hits; he and PAUL~ enter. Skip calls out Young Lawler and Taylor. Skip says that as he waits for daddy to keel over in his applesauce, as apparently he's been in some assisted living facility since XV, and leave him the family business, Skip says he's started to have his accountants go over the books – and there are some expenditures that simply cannot be justified any longer.

He tells Lawler and Taylor that he’s not exactly sure who they are, but he knows they are getting paid a salary – he pulls out their contracts – and since they have yet to win a match, that means that in a company full of losers – they are clearly the biggest losers of all.

So, he has a proposition for them: they can either be fired right now in this ring – and they will be fired not with a pink slip…..but with a chokeslam… (Paul looks menacing)

….or, they can accept an offer to transfer their wrestling contracts to personal services contracts for Skip.

Skip can always use more help. Food tasters. Someone to wash his Benz. Do his dry cleaning. Man servants, really. Brian and Scotty. Man servants. They can take the next ten seconds to decide.

They take the deal.

So, whenever you see Skip, trailing behind him, in some type of demeaning uniforms, Taylor and Lawler. It’s very disrespectful.

1. Cage Match: Hardys (w/Lita) d. Dudleys
Duds bring some tables to the ring. Hardys able to escape – there’s a spot where Lita climbs into the cage – she takes the big bump on top of the Dudleys, say as they were about to put Matt through the tables. So, both Hardys escape – say, all four men are climbing the cage simultaneously – and the Hardys drop…

But for some reason, the Dudleys decide to stay on top of the cage…they didn’t try to win (recall, it's a double escape match) they threw the match…why didn’t they fall….instead…they’re climbing back down into the cage…

See, it’s a trick – so now, they’re alone with Lita in the cage – they 3D her through a table. And that wraps Lita up. Well, until 2005 when that thing happens. She goes to Smackdown and vanishes from the Counterfactual. Dudleys get revenge for what they think the Hardys did to Stevie.

So, obviously, this program continues.

2. Undertaker d. Morley
This is not a result with which you, fan of the workrate, are pleased. Heel ‘Taker gets some heat back after losing to Angle, they need him rolling to Mania. It’s a good, little match. Solid undercard work from The Abolitionist as he feeds the guys with programs.

3. Rock d. Outlaws
Rock pins both guys simultaneously, couple of Rock Bottoms. It’s a squash, Rock has to get the some heat back. Rock’s got the mainstream mojo going, of course, and if, say, JR referred to him as he pinned the former tag champs simultaneously as “A legend in the making.” that wouldn’t bother me. I say, a “legend” in the making.

Not too subtle there.

4. Angle d. Saturn
Okay, heat things up a bit – Alliance member Saturn puts Angle over clean – and Angle’s unbeaten streak rolls on, it’s now 1 year since his match against PAUL, and he has yet to lose (more importantly, he’s learned how to wrestle by this point) so now, he’s actually the better worker in the match – he and Perry suplex the hell out of each other – and when he wins, the announce plays it up as Angle fighting off the Alliance. And – how much longer until Kurt Angle gets a title shot – those kinda things. They're doing the slow build with Angle, they got him hot early, and now they want him on simmer until ready for the boil. Angle starts calling out Benoit at every opportunity – after this match, he should make the motion for the belt.

5. Eddy d. Dean

It’s all workrate, give them 24 minutes, they tear the building down. Eddy wins with the roll up – and then extends his hand to Dean – who refuses to accept it. Dean walks off – and that burns Eddy up. That’s Dean’s last PPV match ever, by the way, we’ll deal with that on RAW. Eddy’s one of the ten best workers who ever lived, Dean’s maybe top 25.

6. Tags: Edge and Christian d. HHH/Waltman
Okay, we’re booking here. HHH and Waltman are the de facto face team, no turn, but they've booked them as the aggrieved vets and E and C as the punky heels, swaddled in awesomness. Trish is staying right down the middle. We see how the vets are trying to keep their spots, see how the kids are trying to take over – so we root for the vets – who gain control – Hunter hits the Pedigree on Edge – Hunter has the fall ---

…when Waltman comes off the top rope with the legdrop to wipe him out.

Which, one recalls, was how Waltman turned heel on Razor almost a decade before. I enjoy the references.

Edge covers HHH for the fall. E, C, Waltman, and Trish stomp HHH out – they stand over him and do the Clique symbol – Trish shows the video wall – says that when they were showing old Clique clips – there’s one they left out --- and they show the clip of Hunter taking out Michaels.

Trish says that it was time the Clique cut some dead weight – and there’s no weight deader than Triple H. They leave Hunter laying in the ring.

7. IC: Steve Regal d. Chris Jericho
And here’s your mystery opponent match. We get the whole Regal spot from before he got fired. They have the British guy intro him – they tell the ruffians in the crowd to pay homage – they say the Queen has sent Regal as a special emissary to take Her Gold from the Canadian Jericho.

Regal’s back for good now, although, obviously he only has a small stretch where they use him much. He’s clean, in great shape, and can go, daddy.

It’s the same Regal character that we used before in the Counterfactual, which is basically his WCW character – they have to sell the weird mixture though – since he’s a legit tough guy, wrestling in the carnivals of Blackpool since he was 14, and his style is stiff and unusual. But he is also haughty and prim and royal. JR sells the mixture of all of it – Regal uses the ropes as leverage as he takes Jericho’s title. Regal smirks, has his man put the belt on him, avoids the fans as if they are diseased. Regal always looks as if he has just smelled something very offensive.

8. WWF Title: Benoit d. Austin
Fun. When Austin came back from the neck surgery, he came back ready to go. His stuff with Benoit during this stretch was sweet, he did some of the Austin brawling stuff – but also went back to the in-ring impact stuff, taking and throwing suplexes – just being a wrestler again. It was in this stretch when Benoit hit Austin with 10 consecutive german suplexes on TV, a helluva spot considering Austin just had the surgery. It was great – so this match totally brings the noise – it’s Austin’s return after a year away and he’s wrestling the total heel Benoit – so the crowd is hot for it – and then when Benoit gets Austin to tap to the crossface – good god – he’s beaten Foley, Rock, and Austin – who could possibly stop this wrecking machine? Really good fucking match. Think Benoit screaming at guys to submit when they are in the crossface. Benoit screaming, just screaming at Steve Austin as he tightens the hold.

Two pieces of business – the full Alliance enters the ring after the match, Perry’s hot ‘cause he lost, Eddy and Dean won’t look at each other – everyone scowling as Benoit holds the belt aloft. But there is no joy in the celebration – the four men all scowling , three of them upset – and Benoit, who is always scowling.

They exit and Austin eventually recovers – so the fans can give him the loser’s standing ovation – Austin does his beer salute, as far as we know, this is a one shot deal, JR and Foley put him over, he came back to face Benoit, his career belongs to him again, but now that he has lost, it's entirely possible that this is the last we'll see of Steve Austin – and then he is attacked from behind by Regal.

Regal, getting some payback – recall Austin punked Regal out in his only PPV match during his first WWF run. Austin beat him then poured the beer on him – so they give Regal that spot here. Regal levels Austin with the IC belt – stomps Austin out – puts him in the Regal Stretch – then takes a swig of Austin’s beer – makes the “ugh, American swill” face – and spits it out on Austin. Tough night to be a face – as that’s how the show ends - Regal smirking over the bloody Austin.

In the NWA…Nash gets a tag win over his partner turned rival Goldberg. DDP beats Funk. A loss for Jarrett. A win for Douglas. Booker goes over Steiner. Helms and Moore keep the tag titles over Jimmy Yang and Billy Kidman. Lance Storm keeps his TV title over Jamie Noble, and Little Rey keeps the world title over Kaz Hayashi, in a superduper match.

Starrcade – 2000 DC
NWA Title: Rey Mysterio d. Kaz Hayashi
US Title: Lance Storm d. Jamie Noble
Tags: Helms/Shannon Moore d. Jimmy Yang/Billy Kidman
Booker T. d. Scott Steiner

Shane Douglas d. Bam Bam Bigelow
Devon Storm d. Jeff Jarrett
Terry Funk d. DDP
Nash/Palumbo d. Goldberg/Luger


The first event of 2001 – is the last event for ECW.

ECW shuts the doors in January with Guilty as Charged in Queens. A win for Justin Credible – who tells the crowd to look for him in New Orleans in a couple of weeks – Tommy Dreamer beats the Sandman, the last time you’ll see the Sandman in the Counterfactual. Your final ECW tag champs…Spike Dudley and Rhyno, who take from Guido and Mikey. Your final ECW TV champ…Tajiri, who keeps in another great match against Super Crazy. And your final ECW Champ…RVD, who retakes over Jerry Lynn. Everyone cries as the boys take a bow in the ring following the match. Paul E takes the mic – tells the fans that the spirit of ECW will live on – and he promises that if they just look hard enough, they’ll be able to find the next phase in the Hardcore Revolution.

E-C-W…E-C-W…E-C-W…E-C-W…

Guilty as Charged – 2001 Queens
ECW Title: RVD d. Jerry Lynn
TV: Tajiri d. Crazy
Tags: Spike/Rhyno d. Guido/Mikey
Dreamer d. Sandman

Justin d. Corino
Kash d. Money
Anderson d. Doring
Nova/Roadkill d. York/Mathews


The Royal Rumble is coming up from New Orleans.

Tags….We get Hardys/Dudleys again, winners go to Mania. This is now super hot, with the Stevie and now Lita angles. They're gonna do the title match out of this too, there's an E/C RAW title defense over the Duds – the Hardys will run in to beat the Dudleys down – and they and E/C will effectively team up for a moment to stomp out the Dudleys – Taz makes the save – Taz suplexing all four guys – the Duds and the Hardys regrouping to continue brawling.

Which gets us to an E/C program with Taz. They’ll call him out the following week, they’ll clown him, he lost to Foley, he lost to Angle – people say Taz is bad, people say he’s the King of Hardcore – but it’s E and C who ripple with awesomenemnity, while it’s Taz who is always flat on his back.

Taz is less mad about that than you might think. Says he’ll find a partner, and challenge E and C to a nontitle next week.

It’s next week – and the partner – is Raven.

Raven debuts in the WWF, he and Taz beat E and C in the nontitle – so they make the match for the Rumble. We get some backstage stuff with Taz, Raven and the Dudleys, the Duds are broken up over what happened to Stevie, they visit him in the hospital, that kinda thing. They hate those fucking Hardys. Raven and Taz say, don’t worry about the tag titles, they just aren’t important right now – your job is to kill those Hardys for what they did to Stevie – Stevie was Family, Stevie was ECW – you know, Bubba, Raven says, you know Bubba – this wouldn’t have happened if you had more numbers behind you….

“What do you mean?”

Raven: You guys really need to talk to Paul E.

Duds aren’t happy about this – look, we’re glad to see you here, but we never want anything to do with that guy again. We’re all brothers – but when we left ECW, we left ECW – me and DVon have a new life now, we’re Hardcore forever – but we’ve found a home in the WWF.

Raven and Taz say that’s okay, they understand – you just avenge Stevie now, take care of those Hardys while we take care of E and C for you. They have that same conversation as many times as we have to so they can make the point.

We can even get a weird little 8 man, with the Ring Boys reuniting against the Hardcore Family.

Taz is a New York thug, with that veteran professional wrestler, don’t disrespect the ring thing going. He’s the human suplex machine. Joey Styles used to call him the most miserable son of a bitch on the planet. Very far removed from the jokey analyst character he does now. Raven’s Kurt Cobain. That’s the gimmick. He’s a heroin user, in constant emotional pain that he medicates by beating people up.

They continue the Skip McMahon angle. The Outlaws lose, say to Taz/Raven, Skip and PAUL~ enter (w/Lawler and Taylor brining them food or valeting their cars, whatever) and repeat the angle with the Outlaws. And again, they accept the deal, rather than get fired/beaten down by PAUL~

The reason it gets heat, even though we don’t like the Outlaws, for example, is that, like with everything Skip does, it shows a lack of respect for the business – we don’t like the Outlaws, and they’re jobbing out, but they were champs – and for Skip to make them his personal assistants, that’s just wrong. It’s offensive, how little regard the eventual owner has for his own company. It’s not his plaything – it’s our WWF. Skip says we’ll see he and his staff in New Orleans.

Undertaker beats Al on RAW. ‘Taker’s rolling onto Mania now, he chokeslams Al after a match, says “Hey Snow – you still aren’t worth talking to in the locker room.” Undertaker’s pissed that Al has a win over him, wants to even the score.

We get a spot where Morley attacks the entire Alliance – he gets paired off with Saturn – and the two will meet at the Rumble – winner gets a spot at Mania.

The IC is Regal defending against Austin, of course, coming off Survivor Series. Regal taunts Austin, he’s got the IC belt now, it’s Austin who is flat on his back in the ring, covered in beer. Austin says he’s always heard the British liked to get other men from behind, but he hadn’t ever experienced it before.

Regal’s pompous, Austin’s Austin. They hook it up.

Two more.

Right after Survivor Series, they announce a little tournament – winner gets the title shot at Mania. Very small tournament. 4 guys. We’ll get 2 matches at RAW, finals at the Rumble. Winner goes to XVII. Lotta weight here.

We get Angle/Dean first. Angle goes over clean, which continues his unbeaten streak at a year and a half, and gives him his biggest ever win. He’ll go to the Rumble to face…

The Rock, who goes over Eddy clean. Rock’s biggest win ever. Rock pinned both Outlaws, then beats Eddy – and he stays hot – and no one is as hot as Angle. We do face/face, Angle/Rock at the Rumble – winner main events at XVII. Building, Building, Building…

Eddy and Dean both losing leads Benoit to bring the Alliance in the ring – Eddy and Dean begin arguing again – then start taking shots at each other – Benoit suplexes both guys to break up the fight – then takes the mic and screams at them to go home. GO HOME, GO HOME, GO HOME, GO HOME.

Benoit says Eddy and Dean are the greatest wrestlers alive – and they are killing the Alliance with their bickering. They aren’t focused, they’re losing – and Benoit doesn’t want to see them until they get their shit together. How many roads did they have to travel to get here. How many steps did they have to climb. How many hours in backwater gyms in front of a dozen people who only wanted to see some yak take her top off? Now here they are, at the top of the world, I've got the WWF World Championship belt around my waist - and you two are making my life miserable. GO_ _HOME!

Eddy and Dean leave. Benoit continues to seethe – and he’ll need that, because at the Rumble, he meets Jericho.

A reminder of the backstory – Jericho once took the NWA Title from Benoit. Which he’ll remind Benoit of multiple times. But this is the Hart Foundation storyline. Jericho wants Benoit to confront who he is, and also give us the full groundwork for the Benoit character, who obviously is going to be with us for awhile.

Jericho’s got videotape, he’s got photographs they show on the big screen. Jericho takes a trip to Calgary to talk to people about Benoit, and we’ll watch clips of that every week.

We learn how Benoit left Edmonton at 16 to move in with the Hart family, how he idolized Dynamite – Jericho shows how Benoit not only looks like Dynamite in the ring, but physically he looks like Dynamite “Hey Benoit, here are five pictures, four are the Dynamite Kid and one is you – can you pick yourself out?” Jericho confronts Benoit after Dean and Eddy are gone – says where is this Alliance you’re talking about? Jericho says we talked about this, Chris – you and me and Lance – we talked about one day carrying on the Stampede name – Dynamite Kid, WWF Champion; Davey Boy Smith, WWF Champion, Bret Hart, WWF Champion, Owen Hart, WWF Champion --- and here you are Chris – here you are – you are the WWF Champion – Jericho tells Benoit that even though we haven’t been friends in years, when you beat Cactus Jack at last year’s Wrestlemania – when you held up that title belt the way that we always talked about – the first thing I did was call up Lance, and the two of us got choked up, Benoit. Dammit, Chris – stop this Alliance stuff – you aren’t in ECW…you aren’t in the NWA….you’re in the World Wrestling Federation….

You’re home, Chris. You’re home. This is Hart Country. You and me, Chris. H2K. H2K. H2K. H2K….

(A chant would be nice. I love this stuff. This, this is the stuff I love. )

Jericho offers his hand – I’d like if Benoit’s eyes were watering a little bit – and then of course he blasts Jericho, beats him down.

But that’s the backdrop. Benoit/Jericho. The legacy of the Hart Foundation at the top of the card.

And we’ve got an interesting little show here. Benoit/Jericho for the WWF Title, Regal/Austin for the IC, Angle/Rock, winner goes to Mania for the strap – all big time singles matches. E and C defending the tags against Raven and Taz, and another Hardys/Dudleys, big time tag matches. Add Undertaker/Al and Morley/Perry underneath..call your cable company! Royal Rumble 2001!