Royal Rumble 2002

Survivor Series is here.

Royal Rumble 2002 Atlanta

(Dark: Charlie Haas d. Shelton Benjamin)

10 bell salute for Russ Haas.

We’re opening with a clip package of the history of the NWA, as tonight could be the end. End with clips of Flair winning each of his titles – then Flair come to the ring, gives a promo with the tag: “That was then – but tonight, the new day dawns for the FUTURE of the NWA when the Nature Boy wins the WWF title – and the National Wrestling Alliance styles and profiles all over WM 18.”

Ideally it's a clip package/promo that will make the Atlanta fans cry/scream really work them up.

JR/Paul E on the announce. Get used to it.

1. Hardys d. DMW: PAUL~/Kane
DMW throws Matt and Jeff around the building, but the Hardys do the high flying thing and are able to get the fall. Hardys!

2. HHH d. Undertaker
Hunter returns to PPV, hopefully people will cheer. He gets the babyface win, stands on the buckle making the Clique handsign, and then is taken out by E and C, who were hiding under the ring, they emerge for the Con-Chair-To, wipe HHH out. Trish comes down the aisle, cuts a promo on HHH, saying that once again, the real Clique, Edge and Christian, have embarrassed HHH. Just like the rest of his has been friends, like Michaels, and Diesel, and Razor, and Waltman, it’s time Hunter left the WWF.

INTERPROMOTIONAL MATCHES:

Same drill, changes in the colors, announce, cues, everything you got.

3. Helms (w/Chavo) d. Morley (w/Al)
They sell the NWA aspect hard in – an NWA ref does a fast count to beat Morley. Chavo and Helms beat Morley and Al down after the match, drawing the face reaction from the home crowd. Morley and Al both need to juice heavily, they really have to sacrifice hard for the new guys. SpreeKillers! The crazy crank junkies, Chavo and Helms, sprint back to the locker room after the match.

NWA!

4. Regal d. Rock
NWA goes 2-0, again, a conniving NWA referee aids Regal (how will Angle possibly keep his title tonight?) being slow on a couple of apparent Rock falls. Story here is that Regal couldn’t get Rock to submit to the Regal stretch, having to settle for the screwjob pinfall. Helms and Chavo run in postmatch to beat Rock down. Regal finds Chavo and Helms distasteful, they’re both shirtless – thin – no gas for either of the Spree Killers – and he makes ugly faces at them while they take over the beatdown of the Rock. Rock’s gotta bleed now too. Spree Killers! NWA!

5. Austin d. Page
But Steve Austin upholds the name of the WWF. This wraps up this feud, so Austin goes over big – he overcomes the attempting screwjob by the NWA ref, he stuns an entering Regal who tries to interfere. Page eats a couple of stunners then has to take the beer bath. Austin flips off the Atlanta crowd, eating up any welcome heel heat.

6. Unified Tags: Hart Foundation 2K (w/Stacy) d. Clique (w/Trish) d. Dudleys
Storm and Jericho take the tag straps, and they sell that hard – it’s the 4th version of the Foundation to win the tag titles (Bret/DBS, Bret/Anvil, DBS/Owen). They get simultaneous submissions from each Dudley, Lance with the half crab on Bubba, Jericho with the Liontamer on DVon. E and C were outside the ring – having been attacked on the outside by HHH (he grabbed Trish, they bailed out to save) they again got the advantage on HHH, and left him laying – but couldn’t get in the ring to save either Dudley. DVon is injured from the Liontamer and has to be helped from the ring by and entering Spike and Stevie. Lance and Jericho will be going to Wrestlemania (which, oh, by the way, is in Toronto) as the defending champs. If the NWA crowd is down, we’ll have a loud Hart Foundation, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap chant – but we might need to get back to a real WWF city before they go nuts for the new Hart Foundation. Hopefully, even with the NWA-ness of the night, there's been enough pump priming given the absence of the Harts from the WWF, and the degree to which they've been established as the first family of the company. Much celebrating with the boys and Stacy, who looks, oddly enough, great in pink and black.  And everything else. 

All the background stuff changes now, into as close a replica to the ECW style, including the production values, as is possible. WWF even ran a contest to fly out X number of the "most hardcore" ECW fans to see the company's last match. Paul E leaves the announce position to Dreamer and goes to the ring. Doing this in Atlanta, as I'll mention again postmatch, is error - I'm hamstrung by the format, putting these matches on the big quarterly PPVs - there's no way we'd do this now, as it's overshadowed by the main event - but, be that as it may:


7. Worldwide Titles: RVD (w/ Paul E) d. Taz
This is the best match of the night. The full ECW roster out for this one, all surrounding the ring, leading the crowd in the ECW chant (sure, it’s Atlanta, but the ECW chants were everywhere) pounding on the apron, rooting for whichever of these two guys they hate the least. Van Dam goes over with the five star frog splash – Taz, after much consternation, claps for him after the match – the ring fills with ECW guys, including the Dudleys, Spike and Stevie (DVon on crutches) they all hug – they lift Van Dam in the air in the last act of ECW. Van Dam will go forth as the living embodiment of ECW now, he’ll come out to the ECW music, he’ll always wrestle in No DQ matches, Paul E is going to remain his manager, he’ll now be ECW, but as a company, we recognize now that ECW is gone.

Atlanta is a bad place to kill off ECW, and killing off ECW when doing the NWA angle is error. But I don’t get to use ECW guys forever, and I have other things I need to do.

8. WWF/ECW Titles: Angle d. Flair (w/Arn & Leviathan)
Lovin’ this, the Atlanta crowd just goes Flair crazy. They do all the Flair stuff, the flop, the flying apron bump, Angle reverses the figure four, they have Angle fight off the freaky monster Leviathan. The NWA guys come out, presumably to interfere – and are fought off by WWF guys. So, like last month, the ring winds up surrounded by guys from both sides fighting….until the finish.

Finish is the submission on the ankle lock, Flair taps out and the NWA ends. It’s surprising to the crowd, to the wrestlers, everyone stops around the ring as it becomes real that the NWA is finally gone. Angle grabs both WWF and ECW title belts, goes to a top buckle and thrusts them in the air.

Angle takes whatever heel heat is coming, ‘cause he won’t get cheered celebrating over the dead body of the NWA in Atlanta. But Angle isn’t reverent about those things, and Angle kind of enjoys the heel heat, we don’t get an NWA ring goodbye like we did with ECW that'll come on RAW tomorrow. Angle holds the belts aloft as the show ends.

Wrestlemania is coming from Toronto. And the theme this year is “Legends Come Home.”

Man, where to start.

Okay, well, we have the culmination to a couple of programs. We’re gonna get Helms/Al, which is the blowoff to the tag program. Chavo and Morley in their corners. It’s the crazy young irreverent heel Spree Killers against the veterans Morley and Al – they have to turn Al sane now, he and Morley are upholding the tradition of Wrestlemania – the glory of Wrestlemania – against crazy ass Helms and Chavo.

We’re gonna get Regal/Rock – this one’s a submission match – which obviously favors Regal. They'll have Regal and Rock beat opponents on the road to Mania, Regal with the Regal stretch, Rock, though, can’t seem to perfect a submission maneuver. Rock does his Rock schtick, Regal does his Regal schtick. As Rock looks for a submission move, Regal mocks him – Rock’s not a real wrestler, he’s showfolk, he’s a painted woman, with his cosmetic boob surgery and his acting lessons – Rock’s better suited to doing a one man show in Branson than going to Wrestlemania and trying to get a former Intercontinental Champion to submit.

We’re gonna get Booker/Page. The night after the Rumble they do a ceremony where the NWA turns in its colors, one by one, each man turns in his NWA t-shirt and signs a WWF contract. But Page refused. He said he didn’t want to work for the piece of shit WWF, he’d be NWA until the day he died and he thought everyone who wouldn’t be was selling out. He was a guy who couldn't get a job in the WWF, the only place that took him in was the NWA, and he worked a thousand hours a day until he became the 2 time, 2 time, 2 time NWA Tag Team Champion. He's NWA until he dies, any man who doesn't like that can feel the bang.

Booker doesn't like that. Booker says he’s joining the WWF and he ain’t no sell out, he had to rise up from the gangs of Houston, did it on his own, and he’s got a family to feed – and if the WWF wants to feed his family – then he’s WWF. Page diamond cuts him. So, they turn Booker face, a practical face, a face that wants to get paid – and we do Booker/Page at Mania. From now on, Booker wrestles only when he needs the cash. He's a practical man. A mercenary, really. And there’s plenty of cash in beating DDP at WM 18, Sucka!

The Worldwide is RVD defending against Austin. RVD and Paul E do their “We’re taking the Revolution to Wrestlemania” rap – and Austin takes offense – you want a Revolution – Stone Cold Steve Austin is a one man revolution. He never needed a company behind him, or a manager (Paul E was Austin’s manager briefly in the real WCW, so, you know, a little joke). Just some black tights and black boots and beer – he’s Stone Cold, he’s a Triple Crown winner – he’s a two time IC Champ and only one guy in history ever won 3, so that seems like the kind ot thing Steve Austin wants to do. Austin says if you want to see Stone Cold stomp a mudhole in RVD and walk it dry, give him a hell yeah… Paul E will cut Wrestlemania promos. He’s been in the business his whole life, selling programs, selling concessions, working his way up the NWA, creating the Revolution of ECW – and now, now, he reaches the pinnacle, he is going to Wrestlemania XVIII with RVD for the IC Championship – and don’t get misled by how laid back RVD can be – Paul Heyman is intense enough for both of them. Van Dam and Paul E taking their show to XVIII against a Triple Crown winner for the Worldwide Belts. Good times.

The tag title – well, I have Canadians and we're going to Canada. So, you know, kinda makes sense to use them. Lance and Jericho are your tag champs, carrying the legendary Hart name. So, there's all sorts of nostalgia, ‘cause that’s what I like, they show lots of the old Hart Foundation tag clips. Hart Foundation WM matches, Harts in Canada. All that stuff. We’re gonna get TLC 3, ‘cause it’s bumptastic (I think we're gonna do 4 and then quit) so, the Hardys and Dudleys are your other two teams. We shake the Duds up, the DVon injury angle is so they can sub in Spike, who is a better worker and bump taker. HF2K and the Duds have heat with DVon being hurt at the hands of the Canadians. The Duds and the Hardys, of course, even though both are faces, have been feuding forever, so they have that heat, and they'll find some heat between the Hardys and the Canadians.

That leaves 3 matches, the title, the legend’s match, and the opening tag.

Somewhere after the night following the Rumble – Flair returns. The night after the Rumble, when everyone was turning in their shirts – Angle came to the ring to personally collect Flair’s. Flair returns later (w/Leviathan) promos that at a Wrestlemania about Legends Coming Home – who better to be declared the Legend of the WWF, than the Nature Boy.

Sounds like some Rick Derringer.

Hogan returns to the WWF, wearing the red and yellow, the whole thing. Hogan climbing into the ring to stand off with Flair is a big deal, albeit, not as big as in the real world, since this Hogan isn’t Hogan.

Hogan gets the good pop, gone for nearly a decade, he was WWF Champ and he won the Legends match 4 times, tied with the Undertaker and Andre - he says, well, you know something Ric Flair, you might be the greatest wrestler who ever lived…but a WWF legend, no way, brother, I’ve got 4 Legends wins, what will that Dead Man do when Hulk Hogan, at Wrestlemania XVIII, runs wild for his fifth Legends Win over Ric Flair?

Hit the Undertaker's music. Here comes Dead Men Walking - PAUL and Kane staying outside, two monsters circling the ring. Undertaker says he drove Hogan out of this company ten years ago - that he saw he couldn't be the big man on campus anymore - and Flair doesn't belong, he's an outsider, an old man, Kurt Angle proved that - at Wrestlemania XVIII, in Toronto, one man is going to win his fifth legend's match - and that's the Undertaker.

Flair says it's true, he doesn't have any legend's wins, certainly not four, but he's got more world titles than the Undertaker's had pieces of ass. He tells Hogan he’s not in his class, not in his league, and that if he wants to talk about arm size, the big man Leviathan (now on the outside as well, along with Kane and PAUL)might take exception to that old Hogan rap. In fact, if Hogan wants to get his big ass kicked, he doesn’t need to wait until Wrestlemania, that can happen right now.

The three men do the nose to nose to nose thing. Flair/Hogan/Undertaker in the legend's match. On the road to Mania, PAUL, Kane, Leviathan all get involved in ways that put the legends over. Hogan could use a partner given all the seconds, but none springs to mind.

Two more. First match and the last.

HHH promos in the ring on E and C. Says E and C aren’t Clique, not the real Clique, says the real Clique wasn’t led around by some centerfold, the real Clique wasn’t more about catchphrases than wrestling, the real Clique would kick your ass, screw your girl, then talk shit to you until they felt like doing it again. The Clique ran this company – you two are just pale Canadian imitations.

‘Cause, you know, Wrestlemania’s in Toronto. Where Edge and Christian and Trish are all from. It's the biggest opening tag ever.

E and C enter, with chairs. Say that Hunter is a glutton for punishment. How many times does he have to get punked out by the Dukes of Awesomeness? How many times does he have to taste the metal chairs?

HHH says – how about one more time? Then he drops the mic – stands in between E and C to apparently just accept the Con-Chair-To. Hunter's asking for it! That guy is just standing there and asking for it!

E and C shrug their shoulders – they swing – lights out.

Lights on.

Razor. Diesel.

Razor and Diesel are now holding the chairs – E and C run from the ring, stand in the aisle totally freaked out. Diesel takes the mic – asks if anything’s new.

Diesel says, damn, you go out for a pack of smokes, come back, and it’s six years later. Everything’s changed. When we left, the Clique ran things, had all the belts, had all the women, had all the drugs…

Razor: Well, that hasn’t changed, Chico.

Diesel: Scotty, you’re gonna get us in trouble. Anywho, most of you know the story, a few years back, the Bad Guy and Big Daddy Cool got offered a whole assload of money to go down to the NWA, where, basically, we’ve just been cashing checks and getting free lapdances since.

Razor: No matter what a stripper says, there’s no sex in the champagne room.

Diesel: That true?

Razor: Maybe a little sex, Chico.

Diesel: Not too little though. We’ve got reputations.

Razor: But now__the NWA__is dead. And the Boys_Are Back_In town.

Diesel talks to HHH – says the last time they were in a ring together, that wasn’t a very happy time – Diesel gets in Hunter’s face – and says, maybe, instead of kicking those fruity Canadians asses – maybe, me and the Bad Guy oughta be taking you out.

We sell a second of tension – but it’s a joke, they all laugh.

Instead of that, Diesel says, at Wrestlemania XVIII – the Legends are coming home – and there are no Legends in the WWF bigger than the Clique – so my boys Hunter and Razor, with Big Daddy Cool in their corner – are gonna go to your hometown – and beat the hell out of both you two goofs.

And so that’s what we’ll get for the opening tag. Razor and Diesel aren’t the same guys as in the real world, they were midcarders in Counterfactual NWA (and Diesel obviously wasn’t WWF champ in this world) they had a couple of tag runs, and Diesel had another tag run with Goldberg – so they were around, they weren’t buried – but they weren’t singles champs, they weren’t perennial upper carders, so they’re a big deal as WWF legends, as point men in that Hart-Clique thing, but they haven't been huge stars - which, actually allows them to keep the old gimmicks, at least in name - I don't know if you can get away with dressing them like Razor/Diesel, they might have to wear streetclothes, but in terms of how they're referred - they were bigger WWF stars than NWA stars - so they're Razor and Diesel in the Counterfactual.

The title match….

Angle says he’s going to Wrestlemania – where one year before he won the WWF Title – he’s been champion for one year – and he knows that in the last 20 years of the WWF, the only guy who was ever champion two straight years is a Canadian, Bret Hart – so where better than Toronto to celebrate being halfway to 2 years – where better than Wrestlemania to, again, offer an open challenge to anyone in the world, to anyone who has the heart to stand in the middle of the ring across from Kurt Angle and his perfect record in the biggest Wrestlemania of all time…..

Familiar music. Huh, perfect record is an odd phrase to use…

It’s Curt Hennig.

Hennig draws a bigger pop than any of the other returning guys, and, in 2002, he’s a better wrestler than they are – so he’s the guy who gets this spot.

Hennig says in the history of the WWF, there’s only one man who has ever been perfect…and you’re looking at him. Intercontinental Champion. And WWF Champion for a year and a half. Not one year, Angle, not one year, a year and a half. And you’re unbeaten, I’ll give you that – and you’ve met all comers. You beat the Macho Man Randy Savage, and you beat Bret and Owen Hart, and you beat Shawn Michaels….

No…I’m sorry, I’m confused…I’m thinking about somebody else…

I’m thinking about Mr. Perfect. I’m the one who beat those guys – I’m the one who was WWF Champion for 18 glorious months, I’m the Legend who is coming home at Wrestlemania XVIII to take back what belongs to me – and who in the hell are you….

"I’m Kurt Angle."

So, there’s that. Hennig’s a real live WWF legend in this world, much bigger than Hogan, it's Curt Hennig who was the longtime WWF Champ (gotsta reorient your thinking, I recognize) he isn’t the worker he used to be – but he was still able to do a little bit at the end, comparable to Flair, I think, from the month before. I made this matchup as opposed to my initial choice, Angle/Austin, thinking of it as a more attractive matchup workwise. And again, in my world, Mr. Perfect is a huge return, bigger than Hogan or the Clique.

Last thing – Hennig makes an appearance in Camp Angle – the first time we’ve used the show to push an angle for PPV Hennig runs in out of nowhere – chairshots Angle – dares the shocked kids to come get a piece of Mr. Perfect, people hesitate – except for Lesnar (Brock and Hennig were both from Minnesota, and had an on again, off again thing during this brief Hennig run) Lesnar takes Hennig down quickly, which should startle us – Lesnar putting pressure on Hennig’s arm – Hennig gets a reversal – they break – are up and throwing hard shots at each other – the full camp gets between them – but they can’t control Hennig and Lesnar and they keep brawling until Angle is up, grabbing Lesnar and pulling him from the ring. Hennig taunts Lesnar, saying that he needs Kurt to protect him – Angle whispers in Brock’s ear, calms the big man down – Hennig bails out of the ring and smirks at the trainees as that show ends.

So, the Legends Return at Wrestlemania XVIII – we have Angle defending against Mr. By God Perfect, RVD in the ECW Rules match against Austin, the bumptastic TLC 3 with the Canadian heroes, Jericho and Storm as Hart Foundation 2K v. Dudleys v. Hardys, the Rock v. Regal submission match, Page v. Book, Helms against Al Snow, Hogan/Flair/Undertaker in the legends match – and Razor/HHH, with Big Daddy Cool in their corner v. E and C in the opening tag. It’s not a card you could ever see except for one place and one time – Wrestlemania 18 Call your cable company! It's gonna be a happening!

Survivor Series 2001

Summer Slam is here.

Survivor Series 2001 Greensboro
(Dark – Spike/Stevie d. Al/Morley d. Taka/Aguila d. Kidman/Kanyon)

JR and Foley are your broadcast team.

1. Number One Contender's Match: E/C (w/Trish) d. Hardys
Okay, this program has gone stale. True. It's gonna stay that way. There are, as I see it, two other options. One, have them go singles. The problem there is WWFs got a talent glut for the next few years such that these guys are stuck, if they were to all get spun off into singles programs, they wouldn't work. Two, they could switch sides. This was my working premise, that right about now there'd be some type of mix and match - that still might be the best idea, but it would still be a bottom card turn. When we get to more modern day, there are singles stories to tell with 3 of these guys, and switching around now hurts those stories a little bit - and since those stories are more integral to tell than this bottom card story - the choice is to look at the big picture and let this stay stale.

The work is good though, you can just roll them out to the ring, give them the ten minute opening match, and it's gonna be better than virtually anything else we could put together.

So, Edge and Christian get the fall with Trish's aid - and maybe we see the Hardys start to fray at the edges a little bit. Matt and Jeff can have words, that's fine, we can do that.

2. Handicap Match: ECW Rules: RVD (w/Paul E) d. Chavo/Helms
Good, good, good, RVD has to lose to Angle in his opening PPV, but here they get him over by feeding a good tag, Chavo and Helms, to him. Another good spotfest, and we’re entertaining the people in North Carolina. This also moves Van Dam to the middle a bit, ‘cause he’s wrestling heels, and Van Dam is really less face/heel and more just an entertainer. He’s on the heel side, and will be there for the foreseeable future, ‘cause the cocky stoner Van Dam is better than the earnest stoner Van Dam. It's a short term hit for Chavo/Helms, they're gonna be fine, don't be concerned.

3. Jericho (w/Stacy) d. Justin (w/Paul E) (Lance, special guest referee)
The battle over Lance’s heart. Lance, as special guest referee, calls it right down the middle – and when Justin has a fall – he correctly breaks it up seeing Jericho’s foot on the ropes. Jericho gets the pinfall, Justin attacks Jericho after the match, Lance with the face save – slapping Justin around – then putting Justin in his half crab finish (see, and Jericho’s finish is the boston crab, it’s sweet) Justin is left to crawl away – Jericho and Storm embrace. The honesty’s too much. Stacy then stands in between them holding each man's arm in the air.

4. NWA -DDP d. WWF -Austin
Here, they sell the interpromotional aspect again, with the multiple announcers and the change in the look of the broadcast. We get back to back NWA v. WWF matches here, and with the lumberjack title match also being NWA/WWF – and, and, and, don’t forget – this is in the south – we’re in North Carolina, which is NWA country – meaning the NWA guys will get cheered – but, since the WWF guys in these matches, Austin and Rock, are so popular, they’ll get cheered too. Making for a divided crowd, which will be fun.

They put Page over clean, in a surprise. Diamond Cutter. Bang. Gives Page something, gives the fans something, Austin didn’t get pinned in his IC loss, so he can handle the beat, and propels the feud forward. Diamond Cutter. Bang.

5. WWF -Rock d. NWA -Regal
Rock goes over to start this feud, give the WWF one, Regal though, attacks Rock post-match, puts him in the Regal Stretch. Again, it's Foley who breaks it up - this time leaving the announce to eject Regal from the ring. This feud continues. They'll put these last two feuds together now (and should have done it all summer, really) meaning they can mix and match, and do Rock/Austin tags, which is a nifty tag team, you know, from multiple perspectives.

Rock doesn't go to the back - he and Foley both go to the announce, getting in one more Rock and Sock evening.

6. Unified Tags: Dudleys d. Raven/Tommy (w/ Paul E.)
Every match on the show solid, incidentally. Nothing to skip. They obviously go No DQ for this one, this is the garbage cans and the chairs and the tables and the blood and the stop signs. It’s Raven’s last PPV shot, so he takes the 3D fall. All these ECW matches work for me, and since there’s a limited run the WWF gives the Counterfatual with most of them, I think this is the best use of the talent.

7. Worldwide Titles: Taz d. Tajiri (w/ Paul E)
Taz didn't join the WWF or NWA, which he made clear on RAW to JR after the ECW fallout - he's Taz, he hates everyone. The most miserable son of a bitch on the planet. This is your best match of the night. They bury Tajiri after this, so we won’t get to see him for awhile, and Taz is nearing the end of his career, as a matter of fact. But they strap Taz up here, he adds the three secondary belts to his brief tag run. He gets the Tazmission on Tajiri and takes the belts. I like this.

8. WWF/ECW World Heavyweight Titles: WWF - Angle d. NWA - Booker
Another NWA/WWF match, crowd should be hot as the lumberjacks, wearing WWF and NWA t-shirts, surround the ring. 10 lumberjacks a side:

WWF: DVon, Rock, Jericho, Austin, Stevie, Edge, Christian, Al, Morley, Bubba
NWA: Page, Storm, Regal, Chavo, Helms, Kidman, Mortis, Awesome, Palumbo, Hugh Morrus

Crowd likes Angle, everyone likes Angle in the Counterfactual, he's unbeaten, he's Bruno freaking Sammartino – but it’s a pro Booker crowd, they are hot for the NWA guy with the lumberjack stip thrown in.

Lumberjack stuff to do: Austin/Page/Rock/Regal, obviously, as they're replaying both those matches at the Rumble (which, just as a tip, will be in Atlanta, home base of the NWA, which considering what the main event will be is excellent – just a little foreshadowing.) Foley leaves the company here - he takes a severe beating from Regal and does a stretcher job to end this run.

We’re also gonna get Morley/Helms at the Rumble, so they start that here too, over the winter, there will be Al/Morley v. Chavo/Helms stuff – and that’s a pretty good feud that we’re gonna see on TV all the way to Mania.

JR notes that the Hardys and not the Dudleys were supposed to be lumberjacks, since the Duds just had a title match not half an hour ago – where are the Hardys…well, footage from before the match shows, that as they were readying to leave their locker room – Dead Men Walking attacked them – giving them the Triple Chokeslam. Triple Chokeslam~

So, we’ll get that at the Rumble.

They also have E/C go after Storm (they’re on opposite sides, and hey, it’s Clique and Harts, imagine that…our neverending saga...) Lance gets the advantage on E and C…and since Lance is NWA and E and C are WWF..that draws the Dudleys on the side of E and C, of all things. And since now it’s 4 guys against one…that draws Jericho on behalf of his boy (‘cause they’re Harts, after all, with the love and the whatnot) and now, Jericho is standing with Storm, fighting the Dudleys and E and C…and, while, we’ll cover that a bit more later, that’s gonna be your tag title match at the Rumble.

Oh yeah, the match – Angle. Ankle lock submission. Match is good, but Booker isn’t at the top, top level, so the sell is the lumberjacks and all the outside stuff. Good. Angle’s unbeaten streak now is 2 years – and his title reign rolls on. Angle stands alone in the ring holding up his two belts while all the brawling goes on the outside as the show ends.

The Royal Rumble is coming from Atlanta. Which is super great, just perfect great.

And, oddly enough, for the new year, we're getting into the reality show business.

We’re gonna get Tough Enough, ‘cause Tough Enough was a good show. ‘Cept they're gonna work it. The premise is Angle wants to do something both for amateur wrestlers, and for the WWF, as its champion. Once amateurs stop wrestling, they have nowhere to go, and they’ve never turned to pro wrestling, because they think it’s just guys in tights.

Angle used to be like that – but now that he’s been here for 2 ½ years, 2 ½ unbeaten years, and almost a full year as WWF Champion – he knows there’s no sport in the world as demanding and professional wrestling.

And he also knows, there are no athletes in the world as committed, as dedicated, as amateur wrestlers.

So, he’s gotten a commitment to give contracts to 3 amateur wrestlers – and over the next 6 months, he will create Camp Angle, and he will invite a select group of the finest amateur wrestlers in the company to step into his dojo – and from that group – he’ll pick the top 3 to join him in the WWF – as Team Angle.

So, Kurt Angle gets his own show. And for half hour a week, we get Tough Enough, ‘cept, it’s not real. I mean, it’s kinda real, ‘cause it’s Kurt Angle stretching guys, but it’s set up. Why is this good? Well, it’s good ‘cause reality tv is way over at the top of 2002, and Tough Enough was popular, and this will make Angle more popular because it gives him a half hour of TV time every week – and it gets the guys who are coming in over even before they start.

It’s win/win/win/win/win.

We could pretty easily get, I’d figure, some amateur wrestlers who’d be willing to get some TV time to round out the field. I’d need like a dozen guys. But the top guys I already have, ‘cause they were already signed to go work at Ohio Valley. It all works out.

Your winners – Brock Lesnar, his Minnesota roommate, Shelton Benjamin; the two brothers from Seton Hall, Charlie and Russ Haas. The drama will be if it’ll be Charlie or Russ who gets picked for that final spot, as it’ll be impossible to believe Brock, especially, doesn’t get one, even though he’s basically an asshole.

Russ dies, as probably you know. And that will be the impetus for Benjamin, who will be Brock’s tag partner, ‘cause they’re boys – to shift to be Charlie’s tag partner. It won't be something that has to be said a lot, really, but it gives us a reason to believe that Haas and Benjamin are bound together, and in storyline form going forward, they're brothers as much as partners - at every opportunity, Haas and Benjamin are shown working well together, sacrificing for each other.

See how this works?

They start working dark at the Rumble, we never see any of them on live TV, only the taped stuff – ‘cause they ain’t ready yet.

The other guy we watch at the very, very, very beginning of the angle is Batista. They have Batista, on the first show, get hot for some reason, stretch a guy, get so out of control that Angle has to slap him around.

Later in the show, the big conclusion to the first episode, Angle finds out that Batista lied about his amateur credentials, that he didn’t wrestle in college at all. So, he’s booted. And he’s pissed.

Anyway, onto the Rumble, which again, is from Atlanta, home of the NWA, which rules for who? Rules for me. ‘Cause I want me some NWA guys talking about going home, about the reception they’ll get when they go home – about how you dumbass WWF fans who don’t appreciate us will look foolish at the Rumble when we go to Atlanta.

We have the interpromotional matches that were set up at Survivor Series. We’ve got Rock/Regal and Austin/Page. And we’ll, as mentioned, mix and match and do some tags on the road to the Rumble. We’ve got Morley/Helms, with Al and Chavo in that mix for TV. It’s the evil NWA juniors against the WWF veterans. Now, we can start talking about Chavo a little more, he’s Eddy’s nephew, and their dynamic going forward is the Bret/Owen dynamic. It’s very much big brother, little brother – in this case, while Eddy is the crafty heel who has his shit together – Chavo’s just fucking nuts. Eddy’s always gotta be dealing with Chavo’s messes, Chavo's the guy who challenges the whole bar to fight , for example – and Eddy's gotta be the one to back his play. Sometimes, people go to Eddy and say, dude, seriously, your boy’s killing us, but Eddy doesn’t listen. They’re blood after all.

And we’re making Helms the same guy, really just ‘cause that’s the guy I want Chavo to be and it makes sense to put them together. So, they are just these half crazy heels – and we’ll have them do as many half crazy things as we can think of. And right now, they’re doing them to Al and Morley. Al, by the way, is close to the end here. And, I think, that this is Morley’s last PPV. They're gonna call Chavo and Helms the SpreeKillers. Picture it like they’re on crystal meth. These are not your comfortable heels, I want them wild, out of control, a glint in their eyes, giggling as they slice up their opponents and then head quickly to the back – they sprint – they sprint – ‘cause they need their next fix. Speedfreaks. The SpreeKillers. Chavo and Helms. The kids will buy the gear. The heels who are on crystal meth. No bulk on these guys, they should be lean, wiry, absolutely flyin'.

Two WWF on WWF matches, both with DMW. They set up DMW/Hardys at the Rumble, recall. And at the Rumble it’ll be PAUL/Kane against the Hardys. One RAW, just before the Rumble, all three members of DMW are doing a beatdown on the Hardys – when running in for the face save, is….HHH.

Recall, the way they wrote Triple H out after Mania was an attack by the newly formed DMW.

So, Hunter, now a babyface (‘member he turned face when the Clique booted him, then he beat Waltman at Mania – but it’s reasonable if no one buys him as face yet) does the face save for the Hardys. The three of them clean house. Shake hands. And Hunter’s a face. He's made up with the old Clique Ring Boys. For longtime Counterfactual fans - it's a nice moment. We like that Hunter - he's not at all going to absolutely ruin the company with his ridiculously outsized ego. Not at all. Nope. King of Kings. Doesn't it make you sick, seriously?

We do a 6 man on RAW before the Rumble – Hunter with the pedigree on Kane. We’re gonna get Hunter/Undertaker at the Rumble.

The problem with this Hunter push is, when he came back, he couldn’t work anymore, he came back all juiced up and only with one leg, so the best version of HHH is gone forever. But I’m stuck with him forever, and there’s story coming up that works for him, and as a worker, I can still maximize his skills in that story – so, we need to do this push now.

That leaves the title matches.

We talked about the tags, Dudleys are the champs, E and C won the right to challenge. E and C cut some promo about how even though there’s the NWA and ECW…still, still, it’s the Clique who will be taking the gold at the Rumble.

Hit Jericho’s music. Jericho says he knows the fans love the interpromotional matches. They’re dream matches, NWA v. WWF. He mentions the title match (which I haven’t yet – but it’s going to sell some tickets, let me suggest) and says that match is one he’ll be watching just as a fan.

But, Jericho says, growing up, he was a WWF fan – and for a WWF fan – when you talk feud, you talk one thing – Harts….and the Clique.

And since he’s been in the WWF – he's never lost to the Clique with gold on the line, having taken Waltman's intercontinental title, but to be fair, his record could be just because neither Edge or Christian was good enough to get a shot at either of Jericho’s two, count ‘em two Intercontinental Titles…

But now, with E and C wrestling the Dudleys for the straps at the Rumble…Jericho thinks it’s time we change all that.

So, at the Royal Rumble, the Unified tag team titles will be the Dudleys v. The Clique v. ….The Hart Foundation!

Hit the Hart Foundation music – enter Lance – he’s wearing pink and black – Lance and Jericho high five – then start walking to the ring – fans should enjoy that moment, and they brawl with E and C. So, there’s that match.

The Worldwide Titles: Taz spends the run up to the Rumble running through ECW, just like when he was there. Every week on RAW, he dispatches someone, Tommy, Raven, Justin, Spike, Rhyno, Tajiri in the rematch – maybe even Stevie and Bubba too – ECW is basically shot, I don’t get to use guys, so it’s Taz who ends the Revolution. Taz says ECW is his bitch, just like back in Philly – and there’s no one who can take him out…

That’ll bring out Paul E – and RVD.

ECW is dead, says Paul E., requiescat in pace.

ECW is dead, but the Revolution lives on. The Revolution, the spirit of Hardcore – the spirit of Independent wrestling – the spirit of men like Sabu and Terry Funk and the Franchise and Cactus Jack – the spirit of men who were too fat or too small or too slow or too foreign or too downright ugly to make it in the WWF – there spirit will always live on. And at the Royal Rumble – in the match for the Worldwide Titles,
we’re putting all our chips in the middle of the table – the loser retires from wrestling – and the winner will forever carry the banner of the Hardcore Revolution….the People’s Revolution….the Revolution of the E….C…W…. Taz v. RVD - one man will carry the legacy - and one man will leave the ring forever!

So, there’s that.

And Angle?

Well, it’s a WWF/NWA show. It’s in Atlanta. Who do you suppose would pop a buyrate?

Anyone? Anyone?

Angle again, calls out anyone in the world who wants his titles….



Wooooooooooo.


Hit the Strauss.

Ric Flair returns to the WWF. Flair says, so here’s the kid who never loses. I’ve lost a thousand times and a thousand times more, Flair says. Flair calls Angle gold medal boy. Says he’s been NWA Champion five times, says he was WWF Champion ten years ago – says the only way to be a champion in this business is to sweat, to bleed, to kiss the girls and make them cry, and sometimes, to lose. Even the best, the Lou Thesz’s, the Harley Race’s, the Jack Brisco’s, the Ric Flair’s – we all lost, over and over again – we all lost – who the hell do you think you are gold medal boy, to think you don’t have to lose a wrestling match…

"I’m Kurt Angle...Who the hell are you?"

That sets Flair off. I don’t care you you are, gold medal boy, I don’t care who you are, you don’t respect this business, which means you don’t respect me, and if you don’t respect the Nature Boy, the Nature Boy will beat some respect out of you gold medal boy. Wooooooo. The Nature Boy is going to the Royal Rumble in Atlanta, Georgia – the Nature Boy is going to walk that aisle in the home of the NWA, in the place where great men – great men, gold medal boy, gave their bodies – gave their lives – for this business. Atlanta, Georgia, where you gotta earn respect, where your spot isn’t handed to you just because you won a couple of medals.

Angle says it’ll be nice to go back to Atlanta. He hasn’t been there since 1996...

When he won two gold medals with a broken neck. How’s your neck, Nature Boy? It’s been what, 25 years since you broke your back in a plane crash – how would it feel, if say, you found yourself locked up on the mat…unable to move…unable to breathe…unable even to tap out. How would the people in Atlanta feel about you then, Ric?

Flair and Angle, nose to nose.

We got one more wrinkle.

Flair’s gonna make an offer. If he beats Kurt Angle in Atlanta for the WWF Title, then the NWA will get to take control of Mania. After 18 years, the crown jewel of wrestling will finally be run by the greatest wrestling organization ever.

Wrestlemania XVIII will be...NWA Wrestlemania.

Are you feelin’ me? NWA Wrestlemania.

And if Angle wins – then the following night on RAW – every member of the NWA will turn in his colors – hand over his NWA shirt, sign a WWF contract, and after a hundred years, the NWA will belong to the WWF.

Those are the stakes (this also ties Flair with Bret for most PPV main events, which they work into the build somehow) and Atlanta will provide a helluva backdrop for them.

Okay, one more wrinkle. The very last thing before the Rumble, they put Angle over someone NWA, like Page (or preferably, like Arn, if he was up to it) Flair enters afterward, Flair and Angle brawl – Angle gets the advantage, when he is attacked by an entering….Dave Batista.

Batista, who they'll now call Leviathan (his Ohio Valley nickname, and any time we can get a Thomas Hobbes reference in professional graps, I’m keeping it) Demon Bombs Angle twice – Flair gives a Wooooooo as he takes Angle’s belt and holds it over him as the show ends. They're gonna make Batista Flair’s bodyguard now.

How about some Royal Rumble 2002 from the Dirty, Dirty? Angle v. Flair, for the straps and the huge stips. Taz defends against RVD, winner gets to carry on the ECW name. The Dudleys defend against the Clique and..and...and.. Hart Foundation 2K.

The interpromotional matches: Rock v.Regal, Austin v. Page, Morley v. Helms. Add in the return of HHH and the DMW matches…and it’s a helluva night to be a wrestling fan. Call your cable company - Royal Rumble 2002!!!