Road to Wrestlemania 34-Part 1

Rumble is here.

Wrestlemania 34, the 125^th PPV in WWF history, comes from New Orleans in April.

There’s an 11 match card, plus additional special segments – we’ll split the build in half; the top of the card (5 matches) is here; in a month we’ll finish up.

TITLE VS. TITLE: WWF CHAMPION SHINSUKE NAKAMURA V. IC CHAMPION BROCK LESNAR (W/HEYMAN)

BEST WRESTLER IN THE WORLD: AJ STYLES V. THE AMERICAN DRAGON BRYAN DANIELSON

MASK VS. MASK: EL GENERICO V. KID CANADA (SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE-REY MYSTERIO)

WWF WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP: LUMBERJACK MATCH: BECKY LYNCH V. ASUKA

WWF TAG TITLES: USOS (JIMMY/JEY) V. THE REVIVAL (DASH/DAWSON, W/ AA AND RIC FLAIR)

TITLE VS. TITLE: SHINSUKE NAKAMURA V. BROCK LESNAR (W/HEYMAN)

RAW the night after the Rumble opens with tape from a desolate Bullet Club locker room immediately following the Rumble match.  2 years prior was the Bullet Club coming out party, but last night was the nadir – despite having three entrants in the Rumble match, it was the man they kicked out, Shinsuke Nakamura, who became WWF Champion, eliminating Tyler Black (who himself had eliminated AJ).  Styles is clearly fuming at Black – the plan was to eliminate all other men (it was a 20 man Rumble, so having 3 entrants is pretty good) first, but Black tossed Styles over the top prior to the last entrant. Black is irritated that Styles is irritated – the truth is he lost track of how many men had come to the ring and thought he was the winner – but that’s embarrassing, and when you add that to his genuine belief that he had won the WWF Title having been taken away – and when you add that to his having gotten pinned by Nakamura – Black is miserable.  Prince Devitt was eliminated by a British comedy wrestler, Jack Gallagher, and he is furious.  Anderson and Gallows lost their title shot, the first one they’ve gotten, and Becky kept her belt – but had to walk away from the ring to do it.

None of them say a word. It's all glaring, pacing, slamming lockers.  Finally Becky says look – we need some time apart; all of us are going to be in Wrestlemania matches somehow – and I’m the only one with a belt around here.  I’ve got to figure out a way to keep it – you all do what you want. And she exits. 

When we go to the arena – Danielson’s music hits  Danielson has been gone since his being knocked out by an “errant” AJ forearm at Survivor Series, we saw him on the video wall last night say he’d be back tonight with an announcement – and the speculation has been heavy, heavy all day that he is leaving his post as commissioner. 

Danielson comes to the ring – stands below the giant WM34 banner – which is surrounded by 4 covered banners.

Danielson says he has a personal announcement….but he’ll make that later in the night.

Danielson says at WM34 there is a double main event.  And he’s going to announce one match right now.

A banner is revealed (like if you were unveiling a championship banner) and it’s a picture of WWF Champion Shinsuke Nakamura.  The violinist comes to the ramp and Nakamura does the full elaborate entrance. 

Danielson…”and his opponent”

The next banner is revealed…it’s the IC Champ Brock Lesnar. 

Lesnar’s music hits – Heyman, in full cat that ate the canary mode, leads Brock to the ring.  This is credit to the managerial genius of Heyman, Brock was done – lifetime bar from challenging ever again for the WWF Title, but Heyman developed a working relationship with longtime rival Danielson, positioning Brock to be able to grant Danielson a favor (vanquishing Rusev, who was tormenting Linda McMahon and embarrassing the promotion) which he is collecting on here.  In between (as that was over a year ago that Brock won the IC) Heyman built equity in the idea that Lesnar was “Real World Champion” and when the WWF Title was vacated, that narrative became the predominate one among fans, really forcing Danielson’s hand here and making this the only matchup that makes sense.  A real tour de force from the guy who you’d expect it from, and a real comeback given Heyman’s getting played by Devitt was a substantial factor in the rise and spread of the Bullet Club, WWF version. 

Brock hits the ring, the men go nose to nose – it’s going to go down at Mania.

The build is taped babyface pieces about Nakamura – he was a heel throughout his prior two years with the promotion, albeit there had long been some separation between he and the Bullet Club proper such that fans who wanted to see him as a separate entity could – so now there’s a real need to babyface him up.  The taped pieces take us through his career at NJPW, fully establishing him as a pillar of the contemporary ascension of that promotion to the top of the non WWF heap.  He’s full charismatic, singles star Nakamura, who adds a WWF Title to his 3 IWGP Championships and is said to be representing all of Asia in establishing a pre-eminent role in wrestling.

The Brock build is, of course, Heyman promos – Brock’s about to become the first wrestler in modern history to hold both the IC and WWF Titles (Brock had a Giant Real World’s Champion belt made before the Rumble, so he’s always got 2 belts) and being the only man to accomplish something is really the only thing left to drive a man like Brock Lesnar.  He’ll also become only the 4^th man in WWF history to win the WWF Title three times (Heyman can’t help himself, pointing out that Danielson only won twice).  Heyman sells that Brock and Nakamura have met before – and Brock whipped him.  We are about to enter the Era of Lesnar.

Tuneups for both guys – Nakamura goes over Hero, Brock goes over Kenta.  The two men go face to face just one more time, in a contract signing for the go home – there’s no heat angle, the last year has built up Lesnar (Lesnar’s entire second run, starting with the UFC work, has built up Lesnar; he’s a big fight guy and we’ve been calling him the real world’s champion for over a year) and Nakamura is a newly minted babyface, a global superworker who just won the WWF Title and now is main eventing Wrestlemania. 

BEST WRESTLER IN THE WORLD: AJ STYLES V. BRYAN DANIELSON

Back to the night after the Rumble.  Danielson returns in the main event segment of the evening.  Says he has two more announcements.  He says in the second half of the double main event at WM 34 will be…the third giant banner is revealed – it’s a picture of AJ Styles.

Styles sells the unexpected nature of this – he and Danielson have been antagonizing each other for nearly two years, AJ started a “I’m the best wrestler in the world” campaign the night after last year’s Rumble, deliberately to provoke Danielson (but he also means it) and now, it’s Danielson who has tapped him for a main event Wrestlemania match.  AJ smirks at Danielson, and stands in the ring awaiting his opponent.

Danielson says “and his opponent….before we get to that…I guess I have another announcement I need to make…”

Danielson says the rumors are true; this will be his last night as WWF Commissioner.  He says he actually has AJ Styles to thank – 3 years ago, Danielson had his last match at WM 31, and for a couple of years, he went to every neurologist in the country, trying to find any experimental treatment that might allow him to get back in the ring.  Danielson talks about hours, days spent in hyperbaric chambers, driving him to the point of physical and emotional depletion.  He fought, he fought, he fought.   

But somewhere he stopped, he settled into role of WWF Commissioner, he resigned himself that the doctors were right, that the American Dragon was gone forever – and that AJ Styles was right – he was now the best wrestler in the world.

And then, at Survivor Series, AJ Styles literally knocked some sense into him.

(crowd probably senses something’s up by now, so Danielson starts building steam)

Because after AJ Styles hit me with that forearm, I had to go back to see another specialist, and while I did have a concussion – thanks for that – the impact on me was no different than the impact would be on any other wrestler.  Those two years of suffering had paid off.  And so – in my last act as WWF Commissioner (Danielson turns to Styles) your opponent at Wrestlemania (the banner with Danielson’s face is revealed) is the Best Wrestler in the World, the American Dragon, Bryan Danielson.

Crowd reacts as they do.  Danielson and Styles go face to face, both men jawing at each other.

As the build develops the idea is this match is decide the unofficial title of the best wrestler in the world; it’s sold as a dream workrate match, as many old greats as possible are tracked down and put on camera announcing their prediction in 20-30 second clips; the credentials of both men are given – titles won, matches of the year awarded, wrestler of the year awards, the idea is that these are the two best workers of their generation – that Danielson was clearly crowned as the best wrestler in the world, but over the past 3 years it has been Styles.  And now – after almost two years of the two sniping at each other, the match we never thought would see again – a match that hasn’t occurred in over a decade and has never occurred in the WWF will happen on the grandest stage – AJ and Danielson, the winner to be considered the best wrestler in the world.

AJ is supremely confident in the build – he gets a tattoo on his forearm (BFITW, for best forearm in the world) he says that this is the moment his whole life has been building for – that while Bryan Danielson was going to doctors, he was winning the IWGP championship, while Bryan Danielson was sitting in meetings with HHH-M, AJ Styles was holding the WWF Championship for more than a year.  AJ says maybe there was a day where Danielson was number one and AJ was number 2 – but that day is long ago and far away and we’ll prove that at WM34.

Danielson is supremely driven in the build – he has spent 3 years dreaming of this day, dreaming that somehow, someway, if just went to one more doctor, had one more test, spent one more afternoon in an MRI, one more morning  in an oxygen chamber, just climbed one more mile, walked one more step – if he just fought one more round – that is dream would come true.  And at WM34, it’s happening, WM34 isnt just about Bryan Danielson, it’s about every single person out there grinding and grinding away for a better life – when Bryan Danielson beats AJ Styles at WM34, it won’t just prove that he’s still the best wrestler in the world, it will prove for every single person that if you fight for your dreams, your dreams will fight for you.  They do a similar face to face to close the build, again, there doesn’t need to be additional heat – this is a long built match with an obvious draw. 

MASK VS. MASK: EL GENERICO V. KID CANADA (SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE-REY MYSTERIO)

Kevin Steen and El Generico are positioned as close as brothers; as close as two partners have ever been in the sport – someone, maybe Gabe, is on a taped piece saying they truly love each other.  For years in the WWF they have been together, first as part of GDI – then, after the split, going to war against Trash.  Over the past year, Steen has been in the persona of Canadian luchador Kid Canada, creating the Tres Bon Mask Challenge, which allowed for Generico to win workrate matches against other masked wrestlers including the returning Rey Mysterio at the Rumble.

Steen has been an avowed anti-masker since entering WWF, he would routinely hector Pac and Generico about their masks holding them back, he encouraged Pac to put up his mask against Kalisto (in a match he’d lose, resulting in a devastating identity loss and resulting heel turn) and so, when now, he sets up a Mask vs. Mask match against Generico, there should be a sense that there are some stakes. 

There’s an in-ring promo segment with Kid Canada and Generico to set up the match – Generico, understandably is baffled – he’s never understood what Steen is doing in the Kid Canada persona – and following a Kid Canada TV squash, he calls Generico to the ring.

Canada starts his promo in the exaggerated accent, full caricature, but then he drops it – and speaks in Kevin Steen’s normal voice – he tells Generico that while he doesn’t know Kevin Steen – here’s what he imagines Steen would tell him about the mask. Steen would say that he doesn’t care who wins the WM match with those other guys, the best wrestler he’s ever seen is El Generico --- but El Generico has gone as far as he can go.  Kevin Steen is not as good as El Generico, he knows that, you know that, everyone knows that – but Kevin Steen was a WWF Champion and El Generico never will be.  Steen blames it on the mask – the only WWF Champion who wore a mask is Mysterio and Mysterio is a unicorn; there won’t be a second one.  And if the guy under that mask wants to get what he deserves – wants to win the greatest title in the sport – wants to be WWF Champion – he needs to do it as himself – he needs to take off the mask.  But Kevin Steen knows that he won’t do that on his own – so at Mania, Kevin Steen, because he loves the guy under that mask even more than he loves El Generico – Kevin Steen is going to kill El Generico.

Steen then goes back into the Kid Canada accent – “oh, maybe you will defeat me, either way, it’s wrestling!” and exits. 

Both men work a couple of matches in the build to show intensity – we should get the feeling that Generico will desperately fight to keep that mask – so we see a much more violent El Generico than we are used to; say he’s in a match with a guy who decides to try to pull Generico’s mask off – and he freaks out, really punishing the opponent in a way that we just never see from the fan favorite.  We want to understand that El Generico will do whatever he needs to do to keep the mask.

And we see Kid Canada wrestle like Kevin Steen – Canada is a comedy wrestler, it’s Steen doing lucha spots – but he comes out for a TV squash and even though he’s under the mask, he abandons all pretense of not being Kevin Steen, and devastates some masked wrestler who we don’t need (Hunico, or just some random enhancement guy) and rips off his mask. 

So – we’ve got 15 years of history between Steen and Generico, shown in taped pieces that walk us through their relationship, with indi based talking heads explaining their special bond  (ideally there’s footage that we can use) we’ve got the backdrop of the dynamic of their full WWF run with Steen as big brother/taskmaster for all of GDI, we’ve got the experience of Pac’s losing his mask and all of the catastrophic fallout – and we’ve got one more thing.

We get the return of the Legendary Rey Mysterio.

There’s a special guest referee at every WM; Mysterio worked the Rumble, it was supposed to be a one off, Rey returns for a promo on RAW and announces that he’s come to a deal and that at Survivor Series he will be returning to WWF as a full time wrestler. 

Which is a big deal – Mysterio is an all time legend, a Triple Crown winner, and he’s returning to the WWF. 

Mysterio says but before that – he’s going to appear at WM as the special guest referee for the mask match.  Mysterio sets up the importance of the idea of the mask (we did a lot of work with that in the Pac buildup) that it isn’t just some wrestling stipulation, there’s a spiritual component to the mask, and the removal of the mask is a sacred responsibility.  Mysterio says that, as the greatest masked wrestler in WWF history, he will be the one to do that removal to whomever loses at Mania.

WWF WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP: LUMBERJACK MATCH: BECKY LYNCH V. ASUKA

Bullet Club Becky goes into Mania as women’s champion for a year – the longest reigning women’s champion on modern WWF history.  Asuka is undefeated.  We’ve been following her IRL Goldberg run since she was working Bayley on Dark Ride Wrestling.  Asuka clearly would have taken the title from Becky at the Rumble – but Becky walked away, taking the countout loss.  That won’t happen again as the women’s roster will be at ringside serving as lumberjacks.  Returning in this build – Paige – she’s been gone since 4-Ground (Paige, Becky, Charlotte, Sasha) blew apart, she returns here, cuts a babyface promo – says for more than 3 years it’s been 4 women who have dominated the women’s division – 4 women who have held the WWF Women’s Title.  Paige, Charlotte, Sasha, Becky – but now it’s time that ends.  The best women’s wrestler in the world is Asuka – and at WM – the monopoly on the title belt that she started back at Rumble ’15 comes to an end.  There won’t be any Bullet Club.  There won’t be any countouts.  It’s just Asuka and Becky, woman on woman, for the WWF Women’s Title. 

There are enough matches between various combinations of women in the build so there might be tension among the lumberjacks – Becky’s entirely by herself in the build, as set up in that locker room video post-Rumble, she cuts defiant heel promo challenging the rest of the locker room, says she’s ending that streak, and if she has to fight every lumberjack with her fists she’ll do it.  Asuka continues to be unstoppable, undefeated Asuka, with the chants and the fireworks and the “Who’s Next” and the whole thing.  They meet at Mania.

WWF TAG TITLES: USOS (JIMMY/JEY) V. THE REVIVAL (DASH/DAWSON, W/ AA AND RIC FLAIR)

It’s superkick party cocky heel Usos, who have held the belts since August, against old school straight ahead, no flips just fists Revival.  That old school/new school is what gets the emphasis; Revival has a couple of tune up matches to emphasize that – Jimmy and Jey are going without Roman for this match, they have a couple of tune up matches featuring as many dives and supericks as they can do.  There’s also a spot where Roman comes down to the ramp to superman punch one of the opponents on the outside to lead to an Usos win – what that spot leads to is an Arn Anderson promo saying that if it were 20 years ago, he could handle Roman if he decided to interfere at Mania – but now, he needs some help.

At Wrestlemania – will be the first public appearance if Ric Flair since his near death health scare – Flair’s been gone from the WWF since the end of his time managing 4-Ground, and, as you recall, nearly died IRL – that happened here too, and Arn says he’s coming to Wrestlemania to stand shoulder to shoulder on the outside, and they might be two old dogs, but they can handle the Big Dog if he decides to get involved.

Okay.  That’s the upper card. 

TITLE VS. TITLE: SHINSUKE NAKAMURA V. BROCK LESNAR (W/HEYMAN)

BEST WRESTLER IN THE WORLD: AJ STYLES V. BRYAN DANIELSON

MASK VS. MASK: EL GENERICO V. KID CANADA (SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE-REY MYSTERIO)

WWF WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP: LUMBERJACK MATCH: BECKY LYNCH V. ASUKA

WWF TAG TITLES: USOS (JIMMY/JEY) V. THE REVIVAL (DASH/DAWSON, W/ AA AND RIC FLAIR)

Next month, we learn about the remaining 6 matches including:

-Money in the Bank

-a super elite workrate match

-Kurt Angle’s return to Wrestlemania

-a Final Deletion match

-a multi-team opening tag

-and….a special MMA attraction…

All of that (and a Dark Ride Title switch) coming next month as we conclude the build to Wrestlemania 34.

Royal Rumble 2018

The build is here.

Royal Rumble 2018 comes to you from Philadelphia.  It is the 29^th Royal Rumble and the 124^th WWF PPV.

(Dark – Strong d. Gargano, Dunne d. Bate)

It is Mauro Ranallo’s 10^th PPV as lead announcer. 

Steve Regal (20^th PPV) and Nigel McGuinness (7) are your color announcers.  They are replaced for the women’s title match by Corey Graves (2).

There’s a pre-show tape, voiced over by Heyman, to put over Philadelphia as a city of tremendous heart and resilience – there are clips of wrestling matches that took place in Philadelphia, clips from Rocky and Creed, clips of the Philadelphia Eagles, who are about to win their first Super Bowl.  The tie in to this event is that it will take great resilience to overcome 19 other men in Royal Rumble Warfare to win the WWF Championship. 

-there’s the clip of Randy Savage plunging the WWF Fork into Mr. Perfect

-there’s the Sandman, hitting Terry Funk with the unprotected chair shot at November to Remember ‘93

-there’s Cactus Jack, hitting an elbow on Sting from the apron to the floor at Slamboree ‘94

-there’s Dean Malenko, submitting Brian Pillman with the clover leaf at November to Remember ‘94

-there’s Sabu, hitting a triple jump moonsault on Steve Austin at November to Remember ‘95

-there’s Raven, hitting Tommy Dreamer with a Singapore cane at November to Remember ‘96

-there’s Taz, t-bone suplexing Sabu on the top of his head at Barely Legal ‘97

-there’s Al Snow, in a sea of Heads after taking the IC from Austin at WM15.

-there’s Kurt Angle, stopping Jeff Jarrett from burning an American flag at WM 15

-there’s Brock Lesnar, slicing up Mick Foley with barbed wire at Rumble ‘04

-there’s RVD and Sabu, putting Cena and Batista through tables covered with glass tubes at Survivor Series ’20.

-There’s Bubba Ray Dudley and DDP each being sent into steel steps by The Shield at Rumble ’15.

-there’s Terry Funk, standing in the crowd holding a world title belt, both at Slamboree ’94 and then Barely Legal ‘97

1. FULL CIRCLE (ORTON/CENA) NO CONTEST NEW DAY (WOODS/KINGSTON, SHEAMUS/MIZANIN

-Full Circle used veteran heel tactics to go over Sheamus/Miz at Survivor Series; they added the New Day for this match – it doesn’t matter if it’s an elimination match or if it’s one fall – there’s no finish to this match, after about 8 minutes we hear an unfamiliar theme, we see an unfamiliar name on the video wall:

GODS

OF

CARNAGE

..and then who emerges are Rusev and Strowman, with Lana – Rusev and Strowman are in matching gear, they’ve got facepaint, they come to the ring and kill everybody.  The match gets thrown out.  A new team has been created. 

2. DARK RIDE WRESTLING PRESENTS: A LUMBERJACK MATCH: SOMBRA (W/ZELINA) d. ADAM COLE

Here are 18 of the 20 lumberjacks (2 were unannounced and they remain unannounced even as the match starts; the lumberjacks are not in the match)

-Kenta

-Hero (babyfaces aligned with Sombra)

-O’Reilly

-Fish (GDI members w/Cole)

-Alexander

-Tozawa (Blood Warriors International)

-Dunne

-Bate

-Seven (the lead members of the British contingent which primarily has been fighting each other)

-Strong (Dark Ride Champion, member of the Horsemen)

-Gargano (feuding with Strong, member of Trash)

-Aleister Black

-Velveteen Dream

-Buddy Murphy

-Lio Rush

 -Mustafa Ali

-Authors of Pain

There’s some jawing among the lumberjacks, but no real physicality until the finish – the 19^th and 20^th lumberjacks enter, it’s the debut of War Machine – and when they get to mid aisle Authors of Pain sprint up to brawl with them – in the commotion, Fish and O’Reilly hit the ring, attempting to interfere, but both are cut off by Kenta/Hero, driven from the ring, and Sombra gets the fall very soon thereafter. 

The postmatch is an extended brawl, as many minutes as needed for guys to get their stuff over – it’s designed to pay off the hardcore expectations of a segment of the Philadelphia crowd, there’s going to be a ladder bump, there’s going to be a table bump, War Machine’s got thumbtacks – Dark Ride Wrestling is putting a stamp on the Royal Rumble in Philadelphia.

3. NUMBER ONE CONTENDERS MATCH: 2 OF 3 FALLS: THE REVIVAL (W/ARN) d. AMERICAN ALPHA

-I bet this is a helluva match; Alpha and Revival came all the way up together through Underground, competed at every level of their development – and this is culmination of all of that; a best of 3 series that winds up in a best of 3 falls match.  Doesn’t matter which one wins which of the first 2 falls, it’s the Revival who goes over.  It’s clean and definitive and the feeling should be that this is the end.  Postmatch, all four men, plus Arn, stay in the ring, presumably there is applause – Alpha extends their hands to the Revival – they accept them , Alpha tells them to go win the belts. 

This will be repeated in the Mania build – but tomorrow Alpha is going to lose to their longtime rivals, Anderson/Gallows – the end result of which is that Jordan winds up buried under the Bullet Club flag, and its fair to speculate how long he might be out of action.  If this looks like a face turn for the Revival – it’s supposed to. 

4. WOMEN’S TITLE: ASUKA d. BECKY LYNCH (COUNTOUT)

-Becky’s a member of the Bullet Club, women’s champion since last year’s Mania; Asuka is undefeated and doing the full IRL Goldberg gimmick – the chanting, the Some Number-0 signs, her catchphrase is “Who’s Next?” – she gets the full walk from backstage through the curtain, she gets the fireworks.  Corey Graves is the heel color commentator from Dark Ride, but he plays the IRL Bobby Heenan role of the heel who still loves this undefeated babyface – he’s been clamoring for this match, for this moment, for over a year, so he’s who joins Ranallo for this match. 

-They have the best match they can, the story being that Becky just isn’t quite good enough here, and eventually, she quits – takes the title belt and exits.  Asuka keeps her streak, Becky keeps her belt.  It is designed to feel unsatisfying. 

We then get a message on the video wall – from the WWF Commissioner Bryan Danielson. 

It’s the first time we’ve seen him since getting knocked silly by an errant AJ Styles forearm at Survivor Series.  Danielson says he will be returning tomorrow on RAW – and he’ll be making a major announcement. 

That’s going to lead to much speculation, speculation that will heat up the next day on social media, as it is leaked that Danielson is going to resign immediately from his position as commissioner.

5. EL GENERICO d. THE LEGENDARY REY MYSTERIO

-At Summer Slam, a very personal feud between the two former halves of GDI ended with Neville emotionally losing a Loser Leaves Town match to Steen.  Coming out of that year long program, some lighter fare was needed – Steen adopted the persona of Kid Canada, an aging French-Canadian luchador, and put together the Tres Bon Mask Challenge.  That resulted in Generico winning a mini masked wrestler tournament – and here is the one night only return to the WWF of a triple crown winner, the Legendary Rey Mysterio – and Generico beats him in the best match they can possibly have.  They embrace after the match, the feeling should be a passing of the torch, that Generico is now the best masked wrestler in the world. 

Kid Canada then appears on the video wall – live, from Quebec – he congratulates Generico, said he has not only overcome all other masked wrestlers from WWF, but also defeated the Legendary Mysterio. And now – he has only one more hill to climb.

Which is a surprise.  How could there be more hills to climb once you beat Rey Mysterio?

Kid Canada says – at Wrestlemania – you will face one last masked wrestler – at Wrestlemania, it will be El Generico….vs….Kid Canada….Mask vs. Mask.

Generico’s mouth drops open – he shakes his head – what…what is Kevin Steen doing now?

6. WWF Tag Titles: Usos d. Bullet Club (Anderson/Gallows)

-The Usos are in their second title run; they took from the Hardys at Summer Slam – they’re cocky heels; Anderson and Gallows have largely filled the bodyguard role for the Bullet Club; it’s their first shot at the belts, they’re also cocky heels.  In a way, they are sort of a Young Bucks proxy – there’s a bit of cross-promotional superkick rivalry between the Usos and the Bucks, it’s not explicit here, it’s a wink and a nod – it’s not “come to New York and fight us, cowards” for obvious reasons – but if the Usos were to have a Superkick Party and a Young Bucks chant to start, that wouldn’t shock. 

They’re the better squad and they go over here – Usos win this match and keep their belts. Postmatch, Arn leads the Revival to the ring – they won the number one contenders match earlier in the evening – and the will face the Usos for the tag titles at Wrestlemania 34.  The men all go noses to noses at mid ring. 

7. IC TITLE: NO DQ: BROCK LESNAR (W/HEYMAN) d. SHELTON BENJAMIN

-Brock’s had the IC since last year’s Rumble and Heyman’s constant referencing of him as the “Real World’s Champion” seems to have manifested into reality – because now, of course, there is no WWF Champion, there’s just Brock – and the combination of Brock being Brock and the WWF Title being vacant really gives the “Lesnar is the Real World Champion” thing a ton of credibility.  He beat Angle at Survivor Series and completed the sweep of his past by taking out Benjamin.

This is No DQ – we had Lesnar/Angle stay in the ring despite their limitations really in honor of what that matchup meant – but this one we make a garbage match, Benajmin can use some foreign objects found under the ring in order to give him the appearance of possibly taking this title and winning the Triple Crown.  He doesn’t, of course, Lesnar’s gonna hit him with an F5 and then just tack on a second one because he can.  When we next see Benjamin his arm will be in a sling.  Lesnar will head to Wrestlemania as the longest reigning IC Champion in a decade. 

Prior to the battle royal – clips from the other notable battle royals in WWF History:

1991…Davey Boy Smith press slams Sid over the top rope to become #1 contender…

1993…Razor dumps Shawn over the top rope to become #1 contender…

1995…Hakushi dropkicks Razor over the top to become #1 contender…

1996…Owen dropkicks Austin over the top to become #1 contender…

1998…Cactus cactus clotheslines both himself and Austin over….but Cactus holds on to become #1 contender…

2000…The Rock throws Jericho over the top to become #1 contender….

2002…Rey Mysterio debuts in the WWF, springboard dropkicking Michaels over the top to become #1 contender…

2004…Eddy throws Christian over the top to become #1 contender…

2006…Punk throws Jeff Hardy over the top to become #1 contender…

2008…Jericho throws Edge over the top to become #1 contender…

2010…Swagger throws Nemeth over the top to become #1 contender…

2012….Punk throws Sheamus over to become #1 contender…

2014…Bray throws Harper over the top to become #1 contender…

2016…Joe eliminates Cedric Alexander to become the inaugural Dark Ride Champion

2017…Kenta eliminates Hero to win the Dark Ride Championship

8. WWF CHAMPIONSHIP: ROYAL RUMBLE WARFARE

20 men, 2 minute intervals, eliminations are pinfall, submission, over the top rope.  Winner becomes the 57^th World Wrestling Federation Champion.  Place your bets.

1.       Apollo Crews

2.       Kalisto (sometimes, you play the hits, it’s a babyface tag team squaring off)

3.       Prince Devitt (tough draw for the leader of the Bullet Club – Kalisto/Crews instantly team up and begin working him over)

4.       Nick Nemeth (that puts all 3 members of Underground in the match very early and puts Devitt in extreme jeopardy)

5.       Kevin Steen (this is Steen’s first match as Kevin Steen since Summer Slam, he races to the ring like someone returning from a long layoff, he once feuded with Nemeth – but everyone hates the Bullet Club, and he joins the parade in bouncing Devitt around  the ring, just before the announcement of the next guy however, Devitt is able to hurl Kalisto from the ring (20)

6.       Mascara Dorada (Dorada hits his stuff on everyone in the ring before settling in on a 1:1 matchup against Crews; Nemeth/Devitt/Steen are now all battling each other)

7.       Bray Wyatt (he comes in hot after Devitt, and now Devitt is near elimination, as Nemeth and Steen both aid in trying to toss him over the top)

8.       Dustin Rhodes (Dustin grabs Bray and the two one time stablemates go nose to nose as Devitt is able to escape from the ropes and stumble right into Dustin/Bray – who then start clubbing away at him, at the close of the time expiration, Crews eliminates Dorada with a pinfall (19)

9.       Rusev (he never makes it to the ring, he’s attacked on the ramp by half of each of the tag teams that Gods of Carnage laid out earlier in the night – their 3 on 1 assault is ended by Strowman – he joins his new partner and they get the advantage despite being outnumbered – leading to the other 3 men from the aforementioned tag teams hitting the ramp, and 6 on 2, all 8 men fight their way back up the ramp until they disappear from view.  We are told that Rusev is counted out and therefore eliminated (18). Bray and Dustin are fighting Devitt while Crews and Nemeth are fighting Steen.

10.   Claudio Castagnoli (Steen breaks away from Nemeth and Crews to meet him in the middle of the ring and the two rivals start trading blows; Nemeth and Crews join Dustin and Bray in all getting nearfalls on Devitt)

11.   Bobby Roode (he enters more tactically, surveying the scene, looking for an area of opportunity, which turns out to be laying out Bray and eliminating Dustin (17). Devitt is almost over the top rope now as Nemeth and Crews push and push

12.   AJ Styles (saves his Bullet Club stablemate, the announce notes that Devitt was certainly about to be eliminated but not for AJ, he levels both Nemeth and Crews, the Steen/Claudio/Roode thing continues, Bray stays out of the fray, crouching in a corner.

13.   TJ Perkins (he gets spots in on everyone (except Claudio) the other 7 in the ring take some type of TJP spot, and that allows Claudio to get a pinfall on Steen (16)

14.   Jack Gallagher (Gallagher is all prancing comedy, Nemeth and Crews are taking on Styles and Devitt, Claudio battles Roode while Bray takes on Perkins)

15.   Roman Reigns Uso (he comes in hot – superman punch and a throw of Perkins over (15) superman punch and a spear pinfall for Bray (14) everything else remains the same

16.   Drew Gulak (Gulak is eliminated by a Reigns superman punch as soon as he steps into the ring (13) Claudio then gets a pinfall on Roode (12) and out of nowhere, Gallagher schoolboys Devitt (11) which draws a shocked response from the announcers and Devitt

17.   Kid Canada (Steen’s pulled a fast one, and now here he is in his gimmick, Claudio shakes his head in exasperation and once again he and Steen meet at mid ring and start throwing blows in the same spot they did earlier in the match, Devitt is enraged – he and AJ hurl Gallagher over the top (10) before Devitt is made to exit the ring, Nemeth and Crews now fight Reigns as a drone buzzes their heads)

18.   Langston (Kid Canada gets the pinfall on Claudio (9) and is then immediately pinned by Langston (8) Reigns gets in another superman punch/spear to eliminate Crews (7) the drone keeps buzzing by Nemeth, who swats and swats – and that distraction doesn’t allow him to notice that, from the crowd, emerges Broken Matt Hardy, who throws him over the top rope (6) and then exits back into the Delete chanting crowd.

19.   Tyler Black (there’s a reset now as four men remain in the ring – Black and AJ, from the Bullet Club – and Langston and Reigns.  Langston and Reigns are career long rivals, from Langston’s time with the Shield to the New Day, he’s always been on squads which opposed the Usos – those two teams just finished another feud – but here, facing Black and AJ, its clear to both men  that they need to work together.  Reigns has also feuded with Black, both historically, in Usos/Shield battles, and recently, in the build for the tag title match that happened earlier in the evening.  And Black/Langston have the biggest history of all – Langston turned on Black, cost him a year of his career, and ended the Shield. 

If you think this is taking more than 2 minutes, you’re right – at some point Mauro says the clock is broken – we get a good 5 minutes here with these two “teams” squaring off – but the Bullet Club picks up pinfalls – Black gets Langston (5) and then AJ gets Reigns (4) and then Black immediately throws AJ over the top rope (3).

AJ is heated – the deal was they’d wait until everyone else was eliminated and then they’d battle it out – but Black has clearly lost track of how many entrants there had been given the length of time since he came to the ring – Black drops to his knees in celebration of winning the WWF Title.

But he hasn’t of course.

The lights go out – then there’s a spotlight on a violinist on the ramp. 

And he begins to play IRL Nakamura’s original theme – and we get IRL Nakamura’s first ever NXT entrance.  Sure, it’s going to take 2 minutes all by itself, but we’ve already abandoned that pretense with the broken clock.

20.   Shinsuke Nakamura (Nakamura hasn’t been seen since being buried under the Bullet Club flag after Survivor Series – but he is risen, new music, new gear – the full elaborate entrance – Black stands in the ring stupefied, how is Nakamura here – what is happening with this entrance – how did I forget there was one man left to enter the ring?

They do a good 10 minute match – Nakamura pins Black (2) after the bomaye to become the World Wrestling Federation Champion.

40 years before Antonio Inoki was WWF Champion – but tonight, in Philadelphia, Shinsuke Nakamura has defeated Tyler Black to become the 57^th World Wrestling Federation Champion.  His new music plays, he hits the turnbuckles with his belt – the people cheer – and that’s your show.

We’re back in a month with Part 1 of the build to Wrestlemania 34.  It’s a helluva card with a double main event.  See you then.