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Triple H, October 2011:

“When I grew up, I hated Hogan. I thought he was terrible and didn’t like to watch him. I was like Punk in a way. I liked the Steamboats and Flairs and the ones that could go. Would I be right in saying that Hogan was the wrong guy to go with, and they should’ve changed directions and gone with Steamboat because he was the better wrestler? Ludicrous.” - Triple H. October, 2011.

Wrestlemania XVI 2000

Sunday, March 12, 2006



The invasion by the Alliance is here.

Wrestlemania XVI 2000 Anaheim

(Dark – Aguila d. Morley)

JR and Lawler start the show in the ring – they introduce their guest commentator – the Undertaker.

While he’s at the announce – Taker makes clear that he’s pissed – not only doesn’t he have a title shot – there’s no legend’s match tonight, he’s unbeaten at Mania and not even on the card – and now he has to wait another year to pass Andre and Hogan and it pisses him off.

Cactus enters. Plays the clip of Benoit saying death to the World Wrestling Federation.

Winston Churchill said the graveyards are filled with indespensible men, and pals, what that means to me is that no matter how important any of us feel – there will be a day when they will put us in the ground.


And Chris Benoit – even Cactus Jack knows that one day that will happen to him. So one day, one day, I won’t be here to stop you and the Alliance from taking over the WWF. One day, one day, when you and your jackals stand in the WWF ring and talk about killing the WWF – I won’t be here to smack the taste out of your mouth. One day, one day, there will be a Wrestlemania when you will stand with your arm raised with this gold belt around your waist….


BUT THAT DAY, CHRIS BENOIT – THAT DAY IS NOT TODAY….Because today, today, Chris Benoit – today you will not be wrestling a best selling author, you will not be wrestling a father, you will not be wrestling a man with one foot in the wrestling grave ---


Today, you will be wrestling the WWF Champion. Today you will be wrestling the Triple Crown Winner. Today….you will be wrestling Cactus Jack. Bang, Bang."

1. HHH/Waltman (w/Trish) d. Hollys
Good opening tag, in the tradition of the opening tags. Clique goes over, Hunter and Waltman pissed that they are on the opening tag. Hunter takes the stick postmatch - says that after E and C take the tag straps tonight - that they are gonna keep it in the family and face Hunter and the Kid tomorrow night on RAW. Trish looks concerned. And hot. So, so hot.

2. Perry Saturn d. Al Snow (w/Head)
Undertaker expresses disgust at the Alliance, talks again about how this should be the legend's spot on the card and how he's getting screwed. Al doesn’t joke around, no schtick – even in his IC matches, he did his Al schtick. The announce notices this. This is a good, pounding, hard match – Perry going over clean. After the fall, Al slowly rises and goes to the top buckle for his moonsault – an entering Dean stops him by grabbing Head - and without even a hesitation, crushing it. Snow looks like he's seen his child murdered and freaks out - wildly attacking at Saturn and Dean - but they eventually lay him out and Al has to be helped from the ring. See how the Alliance takes away our fun?

3. Rock d. DLo
And the Nation is officially dead. Rock gets pushed in this program as hard as they can, during that stretch before the Alliance arrived, they would have sold this match, the final breakup of a two time tag champs, as a main event type match.

Now, it gets lost a bit by necessity, but I want to give it every inch. One, ‘cause Rock/DLo is a great act in this universe – and more importantly, ‘cause now is where, in the real world, the Rock took off. The SNL gig was just before Mania, which is what caused his career to take off.
In this world, that’s hard to deal with, Rock’s been a midcarder, although a consistently pushed midcarder, he just wouldn’t have been treated like a top, top guy. So, he probably doesn’t get that SNL shot – and then doesn’t get the movie career he got.

But – my analogue for him is Piper. Piper left the company and had a movie career – despite largely being a midcarder. He was the top heel when the company got hot – and that was enough to do it for him. Since I have to deal with Rock’s coming and going for a couple of years, I think I can assume some degree of mainstream success, perhaps equivalent to Piper.

Recognizing that, Rock goes over clean here – Rock Bottom finish - and comes out of Mania strong. Undertaker clearly is irritated by the whole Rock act.

4. Dean Malenko d. Taka Michinoku
Just a terrific match, Dean gets the submission with the cloverleaf. Dean and an entering Perry wipe Taka out afterward. They screw me, of course, with Dean, in terms of using him in the uppercard, but I can get this little slice of workrate that really adds value to the PPV.

5. Kurt Angle d. Taz (w/Stevie)
Oh, the love the people have for Wrestlemania XVI. They actually did a crappy version of this match at the Rumble, Taz squashed Angle, and, to be fair, Angle is just right at this point starting to figure things out in the ring. So, I might be a little optimistic about this, but I’d bet that the workrate pressure of the evening, with the new guys stepping everything up (as opposed to what they actually had them doing, which was wrestling, you know, Chyna and Fatu and Brian Lawler and Scott Taylor) makes this a good match.

Angle stays unbeaten – this is a big, battering, suplex based, mat based – terrific matchup. Taz can bully Angle a little, just with his presence – I like this program – I want Angle to grow up a little bit, his character won’t allow him to be intimidated, and Taz would cuff him around sometimes, would piss Angle off – so Angle would need to come back even harder. Would have been fun. Angle goes over clean in a totally clean matchup – we’ll have Taz send Stevie to the back early on, the idea being that Taz respects wrestling to such an extent, and wants to see how he matches up to the gold medal winner – that he doesn’t want the interference.

Taz taps to the anklelock.

I don’t really, in terms of ideal storytelling, want to turn Taz face, but I’m stuck with his having a limited run and the new heels coming in. So – just like the Dudleys, Taz is going to join that Hardcore Family to the middle now.

Taker just loses his stuff at the Angle adulation, which JR really pours on hard - and throws down his headset and leaves.

He's replaced as the third man by the Rock - who is now all blinged out, ready to hit the clubs.

6. Tags: TLC Match: Hardys (w/Lita) d. Dudleys (w/Stevie) d. E and C (w/Trish) (special guest referee, Backlund)
Well, the match they did was one of the greatest in WWF history, an outrageous bump fest – and then the one they did after this was even better. The Counterfactual adds the seconds to the match, as they can all bump too. It’s just a spotfest, one holy shit moment after the next – they give the fans what they want when the Hardys recapture the tag titles, Matt climbs the ladder to grab the belts.

Only real story movement here is to (again) position the Dudleys in the middle, just have them beat on E and C and have E and C be total heels. I don’t want a face Dudleys,
they’re a far better heel act, but with the Alliance and the Clique locked in as heels, who the fans will be disposed to cheer will be the ECW group. All the Duds have to do is send Trish through one table to get the face pop.

Hardys get the good face reaction – and the people like the bumping. The longtime WWF Young Boys win their second tag strap.

7. IC: Eddy Guerrero (w/ Dean and Perry) d. Chris Jericho
Eddy, clean, frogsplash. Jericho wears some version of pink and black, the official Hart uniform. The announce talks about the Eddy/Jericho rivalry in the NWA – this is the classic IC workrate match, as has been the case for most of the workrate loaded Mania.

Eddy took Jericho’s NWA title – Eddy takes Jericho’s IC. The Alliance is 3 for 3, Dean and Perry enter and the heels stomp Jericho out postmatch. Hopefully there are some boos - which Eddy eggs on, making the Hogan cupping the ear motion as he, Dean, and Perry stand victoriously, now awaiting the main event.

8. WWF Title: Chris Benoit d. Cactus Jack
And the revolution is complete. Benoit’s the 3 time NWA Champ, Cactus the Triple Crown Holder – it’s big on big.

Benoit clean – we’ve seen Cactus wear down since the Owen match, the struggle to beat Rock/HHH – Taz largely taking his measure at the Rumble – and he’s just overcome by Benoit. We get a ref bump allowing Jack to foreign object his way back into the match – say he splits Benoit open with a barbed wire bat he has under the ring.

But Benoit overcomes, wins with the headbutt pinfall.

Alliance hits the ring after the match, stomps Foley out – Saturn and Malenko bring in some type of destroyable set piece – something that says XVI on it that makes for a good visual image when it’s torn apart in the ring. They take it apart while Eddy and Chris hold their title belts high in the air as the show ends. Benoit and Guerrero at the top of the WWF. Get used to it.

In the NWA…Page beats Jarrett. Hennig beats Candido. Sting beats Luger. Your new tag champs, Mike Awesome and Scott Steiner who take from Hogan and Funk. Kidman keeps the US. And your new NWA Champion, for the second time, is Shane Douglas.

Slamboree – 2000 Kansas City
NWATitle: Shane Douglas d. Ric Flair
US: Billy Kidman d. Mortis
Tags: Mike Awesome/Scott Steiner d. Funk/Hogan
Sting d. Lex Luger

Curt Hennig d. Chris Candido
DDP d. Jeff Jarrett
Vampyro d. Buff Bagwell
Smiley/Morrus d. Stasiak/David Arquette


In ECW…Mikey beats Guido, Rhyno beats Justin, Corino beats Dreamer. Your new tag champs are Sandman and CW Anderson, who beat Kash and Chetti. Tajiri takes the TV strap from Lance. And the World title goes from Tanaka to Van Dam to Jerry Lynn.

Hardcore Heaven – 2000 Milwaukee
ECW Title: RVD d. Tanaka
TV: Tajiri d. Storm
Tags: Chetti/Kash d. Nova/Guido
CW Anderson d. Rhyno

Jerry Lynn d. Mikey
Sandman d. Justin
Simon d. Balls
Roadkill/Doring d. Devito/Angel

Heatwave – 2000 LA
ECW Title: Jerry Lynn d. RVD
TV: Tajiri d. Psychosys
Tags: Sandman/CW d. Chetti/Kash
Corino d. Dreamer

Simon d. Swinger
Rhyno d. Justin
Mikey d. Guido
Doring/Roadkill d. Balls/Devito


SummerSlam is coming from North Carolina.

The night after Mania is the Cactus Jack tribute, as we’ve gotten before. Foley’s in some type of goody ass tux, we get clips, interviews, show old matches. Show ends with Foley alone in the ring. Says he doesn’t want to say this is forever, he’d like to think the door is always open if the fans will have him back. But he says Cactus Jack is gone forever; that if he ever steps foot in a wrestling ring again, he’ll do so as Mick Foley. So, in the words of Frosty the Snowman, it’s time to say goodbye, but don’t you cry, I’ll be back again, someday. Bang, Bang.

Fans chant. Foley waves. Alliance hits the ring.

Benoit is screaming at Foley, “GET OUT, GET OUT OF MY RING, GET OUT OLD MAN, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY RING.”

Which, if you are a devotee of the Counterfactual, should get you going a little bit – as it’s what Dynamite said to Steamboat about 12 years ago after sending him out in the Loser Leaves Town.

Benoit gets right in Foley’s face with the screaming – Benoit says he won’t pretend to respect Cactus Jack, won’t pretend to respect a glorified stuntman, won’t begin to respect that kind of hardcore crap that Cactus Jack brought to the WWF. This is our company now – look at the gold, Foley. NOW GET OUT OF OUR RING. Eddy steps in between them. “Hey homes, you better do what the champ says, Esse. He wants to send you out on a stretcher, Paco.”

Dean chimes in, “Or a gurney.”

Eddy again, “But we not gonna do it that way, Homes. Truth is, we don’t waste our time with has-beens, Esse.”

Dean and Saturn then hold the ropes down so Foley can get out. It’s supposed to be humiliating – the Alliance won’t even bother with him anymore. Foley is fuming, he wants to respond – but there are too many of them and Foley ain’t dumb. It plays up his need to retire, since he can’t fight back as they humiliate him.

Hit Taz’s music. Taz, Stevie, Dudleys enter.

Taz goes nose to nose with Benoit, Taz says they are talking to a legend, a triple crown winner – the godfather of hardcore wrestling – Taz says he and Cactus have had their problems – but you will respect the man who created hardcore. The Dudleys get in the faces of Dean and Perry – they hold the ropes open for Cactus. Foley considers attacking one more time – but doesn’t – he shakes Stevie’s hand and exits.

Benoit says there’s no room for that hardcore crap in his WWF – and no room for anything called the Hardcore Family. Benoit says that now that they’ve gotten rid of Foley – it’s time to get rid of the rest of you, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY RING….

Hit Hunter’s music.

The Clique hits the ring. HHH, Waltman, Edge, Christian. Hunter gets in Benoit’s face, “Your ring? Your ring? This has been the Clique’s ring for 10 years. This has been my ring for five years. Who the hell do you think you are, Benoit? You come in here and say you’re taking over? I could give two craps about how you talk to that sawed off midget Taz, but you treat the Clique with some respect. This company has always and will always belong to the Clique.”

Which, you know, causes the Hardcore Family to get in the faces of the Clique.

Dean takes the mic, “Helmsley, let me make this plain…the Clique sucks. You suck. The Kid sucks. Edge and Christian suck. All of you suck. This company belongs to us.”

Benoit: GET OUT. GET OUT OF MY RING!!!

PAUL’s music. PAUL and Skippy come to the ring. PAUL enters…Skip thinks better of it, and decides to stay on the outside. PAUL gets in Benoit’s face.

Skip: I’m sorry, I don’t know your name, my apologies. But you’ve made a bit of a faux pas that I thought I’d correct. I own this ring. I own all of you. I might own all of these fans, I’ll check under my couch cushions to see if I do.

Perry takes the mic – goes right up to PAUL. “The WWF ain’t yours McMahon – read the names on all the belts – the gold belongs to the Alliance – the WWF belongs to the Alliance.”

Hardys music. Hardys hit the ring.

Matt and Jeff go nose to nose with Dean and Perry.
Matt: All the gold? Maybe you’ve taken too many shots to the head, Saturn – but there are a couple of gold belts right here around the waists of the Hardy Boys.

Edge: And we’ll take them off you any time we damn well want.

Waltman: Wait a minute – if the Clique is going to take those tag belts, it’s gonna be me and Hunter.

Stevie: The Clique won’t be taking anything. Those belts belong to the Dudley Boys.

Dean: Those belts are only a loaner, Hardys, Perry and I will add those to the Alliance collection. Every ounce of gold in this company belongs to us.

Benoit: GET OUT, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY RING.

Jericho.

Jericho enters. Jericho gets in Eddy’s face. Jericho says that there’s one piece of gold that is only a rental. The Intercontinental Championship, the same Intercontinental Championship won by Bret Hart, won by Owen Hart, and won by Y2J…that Intercontinental Championship belongs to Y2J in the H2K – and he wouldn’t mind taking it from Eddy Guerrero right damn now.

Hit the Rock’s music.

Big Pop. Rock enters, he gets in Benoit’s face.

The Rock doesn’t care about the Clique, about the Harts, about the Alliance, about the Girl Scouts or the League of Nations or The Royal Order of the Tricycle Moonsault or your baby sister or your grandma’s sweet, creamy, potato chowder.

The Rock says this – the WWF doesn’t belong to any of you – and it sure doesn’t belong to you, Skippy McMahon– the WWF belongs….to the People.

And as the People’s Champion – the Rock’s ready to kick all your asses.

Hit Angle’s music.

Angle hits the ring and slowly looks multiple guys up and down. PAUL. Waltman, Helmsley. Rock, Jericho. Eddy. Angle finally settles in, nose to nose from Benoit. Tension building.

Angle: Chris Benoit. The Crippler. We’ve never met. Allow me to introduce myself….

I’m Kurt Angle.

NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY RING!

That’s your money shot, Benoit freaks out – the full on brawl is underway. Which, of course, would lead perfectly into our annual…er…our every other annual tradition…

THE BATTLE ROYAL.

30 superstars…last many standing goes to Summer Slam and gets the shot at the WWF Title. Who will it be? Who will face Benoit at Summer Slam? Who? Who? Who?

1. Angle
2. Alabama Bob
3. Crash
-Angle’s got to go 1 on 2 against the Fightin’ Hollys – and he tosses them both over. Crash first (30) then Bob (29). Kurt Angle!

4. Kane
-he and Angle brawl in a big, red, way.

5. Young Lawler
-comes in, you know, dancing. He joins Kane in going after Angle. Clock’s ticking on Lawler, incidentally.

6. Morley
-Morley comes in on Kurt’s side, goes after the heels. I don’t know that Lawler’s a heel…but yeah, those guys are heels. They dance and the people hate the dancing. Want heel heat in my wrestling universe – that fucking worm, that’s heel heat. Morley’s good people, always going against the numbers. Raging against the machine. Fightin' the powers that be. Most of my heroes ain't appear on no stamp.

7. Taylor
-Since I’m thinking about it, might as well bring him in. He comes in with the heels. And now they’re going out. Lawler (28) by Angle and Morley. Taylor (27) by Angle and Morley. Tick, tick, tick.

8. Eddy
-Now, see how this works, Kane (who of course isn’t really a heel, he’s a tweener based on his relationship with his brother) joins Angle and Morley – all three guys all over Eddy. ‘Cause everyone hates the Alliance.

9. Perry
-‘Cause Eddy needs a buddy. 3 on 2.

10. Edge
-Although Edge is a heel, see, he joins the face group. 4 on 2. Everyone hates the Alliance.

11. Matt
-And although Edge and Matt are mortal enemies – Matt joins the face group. 5 on 2. And people should be digging that, E and M on the same side. E and Morley on the same side too, come to think of it. And here’s where we push the Alliance. Perry and Eddy fight back and dump Kane (26) and Morley (25). This breakdown peels Matt and Edge off into their own fight, ‘cause they can’t stand each other, after all. Incidentally, although the last year and a half hasn't been written fully out yet, the process for this is I have everything booked through present day, and ideally, I wanted to put Edge and Matt back together in 2005.

Oops.

12. Taz
-joins Angle, who he just met at Mania, against Eddy and Perry. The B fight is Matt v. Edge.

13. HHH
-Who’s a bigger heel than Hunter? He joins Angle and Taz against the Alliance. See?

14. Bubba
-joins the B fight, making it a 3 way, each man trying to get the other 2 out.

15. Billy Gunn
-Also a heel, and not only that, but a heel with a feud against Hunter. But he joins the face side, once again a 4 on 2 against the Alliance – and that has to be enough to get Perry (24). Hunter sees the opportunity, being a heel, and dumps Billy (23).

16. Christian
-Joins his brother in the B fight – which effectively puts Matt and Bubba together, further moving the Duds center. The A fight is HHH/Angle/Taz against Eddy. So, 8 guys in the ring.

17. Waltman (w/Trish)
-Waltman comes in, since he’s the last member of the Clique, Trish waited for him – now she’s directing traffic and has him go after Taz, Trish tells Hunter to join him, so now that’s the C fight. The A fight is Angle/Eddy. The B fight is Matt/Bubba v. E and C. 9 guys in the ring.

18. DVon (w/Stevie)
-Like the Clique, Stevie waited until the last member of the Hardcore Family entered. DVon joins the B fight, but now it’s a 3 way fight again, and Matt’s by himself. A fight and C fight stay the same. 10 guys in the ring, which is usually a good stopping point for a battle royal, but I’ll do one more.

19. Stevie
-The Duds music hits again, confusing the announce since Bubba and DVon were in the ring, Stevie smiles, takes off his suit jacket, tie, and shirt – to reveal the Flock of Seagulls half shirt, which he wears with his dress pants. Stevie hops in the ring, Steviekicking Edge into a 3D (22) and then doing the same to Matt (21). Stevie and the Dudleys turn their sights onto Christian in a 3 on 1. Other two fights remain the same. 9 in the ring.

20. Jeff
-Jeff, of course, is crazy, so he goes right after Stevie and the Dudleys – and we have Jeff and Christian, an unlikely team, with the aerial high flying spots that eliminate DVon (20) and then Bubba (19). Jeff v. Christian v. Stevie then becomes the new B fight. Other two stay the same. 8 guys in the ring.

21. Dean
-Dean is there to aid Eddy, the two double teaming Angle. And the B fight and C fight merge. Taz/Stevie v. Hunter, Waltman, Christian v. Jeff.

22. The Rock
-The Rock comes into the B fight, Rock Bottom on Christian (18). Rock Bottom on Stevie (17) Rock Bottom on Jeff (16). The Rock cleans house!

23. DLo
-And Rock sends him right out (15). Rock joins Angle for the 2 on 2 with Eddy and Dean. B fight is Taz v. HHH/Waltman. 7 in the ring. 7 still to come. Symmetry is kool!

24. Jericho
-Jericho joins Taz, ‘cause of that Clique/Hart thing, see – and they dump Waltman (14). And now HHH is down 2-1, the other fight is still 2-2.

25. Road Dogg
-Dogg joins his old buddy Hunter, but only momentarily, as Taz, Jericho, and Hunter all toss him out (13).

26. Taka
-Taka comes in on the side of Rock and Angle – and the three of them toss Dean (12) we note that Eddy maybe didn’t try as hard as he could have to save him. Huh.

27. Aguila
-Aguila (for the unitiated, Aguila/Papi Chulo/Essa Rios - all the same dude) He joins the faces in the A group – so it’s Aguila/Taka/Angle/Rock…and now joined by Jericho…5 on 1 against Eddy. All trying to bounce Eddy over the top. Taz and Hunter are now alone in the other fight.

28. Skip McMahon
-Actually, it’s Fatu – but when Fatu doesn’t enter, we see him in the back counting a lot of money – cut back to the aisle, here comes Shane. Later, Shane will promo saying that he wanted to prove that if he wants to be WWF Champion, he can be WWF Champion – that there’s no part of this company that he can’t buy. And one day soon that old man will die, if he isn't dead already, no one has seen him since WM XV – and then Skip will have him some real fun.

Skip doesn’t actually get in the ring – he stays outside.

29. PAUL~
- PAUL growls and brushes off the A fight (breaking up the 5 on 1, which is good) with a meaty paw. Aguila charges at PAUL – Aguila gets dumped (11). Taka charges. Dumped (10). PAUL goes to the HHH/Taz fight, grabs both men, picks each up high and chokeslams each over the top rope (9) and (8). PAUL~

The four men left in the ring, Rock, Jericho, Angle, and Eddy – team up and dump PAUL. (7) This freaks Skip out – who starts to turn to leave, but he’s stopped by…

30. Al
-The Snowman is number 30 – he grabs Skip, tossing him into the ring – and Skip (6) is tossed right out by Rock, Jericho, Angle, and Eddy – the group then turning on Al
(5).

Final four. They each go into the four corners for the wary staredown. The faces turn on Eddy – and toss him. (4)

3 left. Rock/Jericho/Angle to a 3 way – each trying to eliminate the other 2 – when the lights go out.

Bong. Bong. Bong.

Lights on – Undertaker is in the ring – he grabs Angle – and chokeslams him over the top rope!. (3)

Angle is pissed on the outside, he yells out "what the hell is that about?" but the Dead Man brushes him off and walks to the back, getting the boos – and it’s Rock and Jericho. Jericho and Rock. Rock and Jericho. Jericho and Rock.

The Rock tosses him.

The Rock is going to Summer Slam as the number one contender to meet Chris Benoit for the WWF Championship.

It’s 2000. Everyone loves the Rock.

Okay, Skip’s gonna wrestle in the opening tag. He says he has waited long enough for daddy to die, so he’s decided to prove once and for all how useless the WWF is, how useless wrestling is, how gauche all of you fans are who actually pay money to see men in their underwear beat each other up.

So, to prove his point – he’s going to wrestle. Against Steve Blackman.

New to the Counterfactual, Blackman’s a babyface jobber. But he is an actual wrestler, and Skip is Skip.

And yes, Skip knows that for the last 16 years every WWF PPV has started with a tag team match, but since the only thing worse than watching two wrestlers is watching four, he’s decided to change it. So, at Summer Slam, he’ll be defeating Steve Blackman. Toodles. That Skip has no respect for our traditions. Do you see? Do you see?

We’re gonna get Morley/Kane, based on whatever heat we could get from the battle royal. Kane’s a heel today. And he’s big and red.

From the battle royale, we’ve got the Clique v. the Hardcore Family. We’re gonna do Stevie against Waltman. And Hunter against Taz. What Hunter/Waltman really wanted was the Clique spot in the tag title match (recall, Trish said once E and C won the titles at Mania, they’d get the shot. Keep it in the family) So, she says the same thing – let E and C win the straps in the Hardy's home state of North Carolina – and then we can have a real family affair for the titles after that. Promise.

HHH/Waltman tell E and C they better win. E and C tell them to mind their own business. We can get 8 man stuff, throwing the Dudleys in the mix – that serves to push all 3 matches as we go to the PPV. HHH and Waltman treat Taz and Stevie like underlings – they’re ECW guys, minor leaguers. Taz and Stevie treat the Clique like pussies. They’ve never sacrificed. They don’t know what it’s like to fight for your life.

But they’ll learn at Summerslam.

Well, Taz says stuff like that – Stevie wears the half shirt and the dress pants.

And the Duds/E and C stuff leads to the tag title match, with they and the Hardys, in TLC II, which, coming off Mania, sells sweet, sweet tickets. Hardys come home to defend their belts.

Your other undercard match. Angle. Undertaker.

‘Taker’s turned heel. He cuts a promo explaining why he tossed Angle at the battle royal. Says he’s been here ten damn years. He ain’t a Hart, he ain’t Clique. Not Alliance. Not Hardcore. He’s just a legend. 4 time Legends Winner at Wrestlemania. He’s never asked for anything, just does his job.

After getting screwed out of his fifth legend's win at XV, he was told that next year, next year, the title shot would be his. He waits 11 months, trains, gets all the way to the month before Mania – and suddenly he has to beat Chris Benoit to keep his spot.

What kind of way is that to treat a legend? What kind of way is that to treat the Undertaker?

"So I went home, and when I was home I watched this kid on TV. Everyone talking about his unbeaten streak.

You know who had an unbeaten streak? You know who nobody beat for four years?

Me, goddamit. Me. I beat Hogan. I beat Yoko. Me, goddamit. Me.

I am not having some guy come in with a couple of gold medals coming in and taking what belongs to me. These people that chant your name – they should be chanting mine. Everyone’s talking about Kurt Angle – everyone says Kurt Angle’s gonna be a Champion. Everyone says, “Oh, just wait – just wait for Angle to learn the business – he’s going to be champ – he’s going to be great – he’s going to be a legend.”

Well, you aren’t a legend, kid. I’m a legend. At Summer Slam, I’ll show you what kind of legend. You're going to school, Angle."

So, there’s that.

Title matches….

Benoit/Rock, obviously. Rock does his Rock thing, he’s on the big roll now – and Benoit has taken over the company, so there’s that heat. And we’ll get the Guerrero/Jericho rematch. They do a best 2 out of 3 falls. Jericho goes over Dean in a singles to give him some momentum going into the show. Eddy was at ringside for Dean, wasn’t as quick to help him as he might have been. Huh.

Again.

It's Summer Slam 2000: Benoit/Rock for the big belt, Guerrero/Jericho rematch, 2 of 3 falls, TLC II, Taz/HHH, Angle/UT, Stevie/Waltman, Morley/Kane, and Skip against Steve Blackman. I miss the opening tag too. Somehow, we'll make it through this.

Summer Slam 2000 – Call your local thing!

2 comments

L.B. said...

Rabid Eye Dubba pop. That's what I love about you J - always keepin' the fans happy.

Demographics, baby dolls.

jcj said...

Yeah - you gotta appeal to the fanbase. Goddamn tricycles.

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