Part 1 is here.
Battle Royal time – stip reminder; winner is the number one contender; last 8 eliminated go into the IC tournament; whomever eliminates first member of Young Money gets the tag title shot.
No one has ever won twice. Battle Royal time – stip reminder; winner is the number one contender; last 8 eliminated go into the IC tournament; whomever eliminates first member of Young Money gets the tag title shot.
Place your bets.
1.
Tyson Kidd (w/Michael Cole)
2.
PAC
At Mania, Kidd was paired with
Gabriel and given Cole as a mouthpiece (Gabriel was the only Empire member left
standing). Reasonable that Cole, after a
year with Douchebags, might start to feel his oats a little bit, given his
success (and, except for Nemeth) Regal’s lack thereof at Mania. As Underground starts to disperse over the
summer, part of that is Cole taking shots at Empire, Kidd goes along with them
– Gabriel largely says nothing.
3.
Mistico
This is a surprise entrant;
Mistico isn’t on the roster; he lost to Nemeth a year ago in a title match, got
beaten down by Underground and went back to Mexico – this return shows how much
everyone in the world wants to be in the battle royal with so many title
implications. They get to do spots for two minutes.
4.
Tyler Black
As mentioned at Mania, Black
and Ambrose emerge afterward as the full blown Shield. The gear, the promos, they don’t attack
Underground, it’s not that Underground, prior to right now, has turned on each
other at all, there’s just tension and increasing distance. Shield does their “we fight injustice” rap –
which Regal doesn’t understand at all – Black and Kidd don’t work together
here, but neither do they work against each other. Everything should stay fast paced.
5.
Yoshi Tatsu
Tatsu comes in instantly on
PAC’s side, the two of them trying to eliminate Kidd and Mistico and Black
battle. I'm valuing quickness here above all in this stage.
6.
Kofi Kingston
Kingston and Killings retook
at Mania; Killings is still amnesiac crazy person; he tweets based on events
from 2011 (wears a black armband for tsunami victims, talks about Super 8). The ring swarms on Kingston, everyone wants
the tag title shot – Kingston has to do some running around, get to the top,
duck out of the way to miss a Black kick that instead catches Kidd – its
designed to show everyone wants the tag title and to get Kingston a specific
spot. Look how he avoids everyone! The early speed of the first entrants, besides being unlike a normal battle royal, sets up Kingston doing this "nobody can catch Kofi Kingston" spot. Black
and Kidd do some shoving as this stage of the battle royal ends and everything slows down.
7.
Darren Young
The Prime Time Players (TPTP)
emerge after Mania doing their act. Did
you see Hollywood Shuffle? It’s a sendup
of African-American entertainment tropes – I’d like to do that here, one promo
O’Neill can be the wise black man with vaguely mystical powers – the next,
Young can be the powerful hip hop mogul with a secret. I mean, I don’t want them in the ring much,
so they can do comedy when I have to use them.
They start calling themselves Tyler Perry Presents The Prime Time
Players (TPPTPTP). Yes, it's just for that joke, yes. And that joke's enough that I'll keep them in the background with Santino even when I don't need to use them.
8.
Damien Sandow
Sure are a lot of people in
the ring. Sandow has been in
developmental, part of the next wave of Underground ready to hit WWF. He does his smarter than you gimmick and
becomes the new leader of the Douchebags.
9.
Kane
Kane and not PAUL is the
member of DMW invited to compete – this has pissed PAUL off and its been part
of the build. DMW didn’t get a Mania
slot, that’s pissed PAUL off and its been part of this build. (30 Kingston, by Kane). Kane gets the title shot for DMW by taking
out Kofi, so that element of the battle royal ends here.
10. Heath
Slater
Sandow shows his Douchebags
leadership by directing Slater; they battle Kane. Tatsu battles Young. Mistico battles Kidd and PAC battles
Black.
11. Cody
Rhodes
-Defiance dropped to Young
Money at Mania; they talked openly about how their rematch shouldn’t be up for
grabs in this event, feeling victimized in the way Defiance does – and now that
Kingston has already been eliminated Cody is clearly heated as he gets into the
ring and starts lighting into Douchebags and Kane.
12. Sheamus(w/Regal)
11 guys in the ring is too
many; you’ll note Underground is half the ring – so when Regal hits ringside he
claps his hands and the unit comes together.
(29 – Tatsu, by Underground)
(28 – Young, by Underground)
(27 – Rhodes, by Underground)
13. Justin
Gabriel
Gabriel means 6 members of
Underground out of 9 total in the ring.
(26 – Kane, by Underground)
14. Primo
Colon
15. @TruthKills
Colon and Killings go
aggressive as soon as they hit the ring, just trying to punch their way out of
the swarm of guys who are upon them.
Mistico and Pac hit a double team maneuver on Black and have him ready
to go – Kidd, at Regal’s order, goes to aid Black. Douchebags have Colon ready to go.
16. Dean
Ambrose
He hits the ring with Cole, on
the outside, directing him to aid Douchebags, who are on the entry side of the ring, in taking out
Colon – Ambrose ignores him and goes to the opposite side of the ring to aid
Black, clearly walking right past Douchebags without paying them any mind a all.
(25 – Mistico, by Shield/Kidd)
While on the other side of the
ring
(24 – Slater, by
Colon/Killings)
(23-Colon, by Sandow/Sheamus –
Sheamus noticed Ambrose didn’t help, saw the result, and came in to aid Sandow)
(22-Killings, by
Sandow/Sheamus)
Simultaneously…
(21 – Kidd, by Shield – and
when Gabriel comes to yell about that -)
(20 – Gabriel, by Shield)
17. Nick
Nemeth
So – see where we are. The Shield on one side of the ring,
Sandow/Sheamus on the other, and Nemeth, the de facto leader entering – Sheamus
and Nemeth get right up into the Shield, screaming right into their faces,
taking advantage is Pac (19 – Sandow, by Pac).
Regal gets on the apron at that point, just furious – pointing at
Pac. That rallies the troops. (18 – Pac,
by Underground)
18. Chris
Jericho
Let’s talk Jericho. He moved from Y2J to JerichoDark (like Raven)
to The Lizard King (strung out Jim Morrison) to The Champ (the suit wearing
recent incarnation)
Losing to Danielson at Mania,
definitively, to a better, younger man, ends that gimmick. What comes next?
It’s
Jericho’s first appearance since Mania, and he comes to the ring in the suit,
looking like he hasn’t taken it off since Mania. Shirt untucked, tie undone. He’s got a
thousand yard stare and just wanders into the ring, taking his entire two
minute period to get to ringside.
19. Zach
Ryder
Ryder is right behind Jericho
by the time he gets to the ring, he sneaks, he looks to wait until Jericho
steps in before throwing him out. Ryder's walking right behind; Jericho seems to have no idea where he is,
but when he steps into the ring, and Ryder then immediately gets in, throwing a
clothesline designed to catch Jericho – Jericho drops to the mat (ideally, not
looking like he’s avoiding Ryder, looking like he’s just falling down at
exactly the right time) and the momentum propels Ryder back over the ropes.
(17-Ryder, himself)
Jericho stays on the mat,
curls up, he may be asleep. Once they
eliminated Pac, the Shield tried then to take out both Sheamus and Nemeth –that
coup was unsuccessful and led to a full brawl, Underground exploding into a full on brawl, so they missed the entire Jericho
scene – but the four men come to a dead stop when the next music hits.
20. CM
Punk (w/Steamboat)
The four members of
Underground ready, planting themselves in the ring – Jericho is asleep, Punk
loves it, broad smile, he points at Heyman as he gets to ringside
(JR/Joey/Heyman all on the announce, Heyman has had to eat it from his
colleagues in the aftermath of Mania; Paul has not taken it with good humor and
he stops talking completely as Punk enters – also at ringside is Danielson, the
champ always watches the Battle Royal; Steamboat, of course, has his now customary white towel over his shoulder as he walks down the aisle). Punk briefly jaws with Regal on the
outside, pointing at the four guys in the ring “just 4 on 1, Steve – you don’t
have enough meat”. Punk enters, waves
Underground over and they pounce.
21. Chris
Hero
It’s just 4:1 for like 30
seconds, Hero is next and he sprints to the ring to make it 4 on 2. Jericho sleeps.
22. Roman
Reigns Uso
Reigns, whom we saw at Mania,
makes his way slowly to the ring – steps in and joins GDI, going in hard after
the Shield, allowing Hero/Punk to focus on Nemeth/Sheamus. Jericho sleeps.
23. John
Cena
Cena goes right after Punk,
they brawl; Hero looks like he’s about to go, and that causes the Shield to
join Nemeth/Sheamus – Reigns joins too, as Hero nears extinction. Jericho sleeps.
24. Claudio
Castagnoli
Claudio comes in hot to save
his partner, everyone eats uppercuts; the Kings are able to gain an advantage
on The Shield, and when each man is about to go – Nemeth and Sheamus aid in the
elimination (16 –Ambrose, 15-Black, by KOW and Nemeth/Sheamus). The Shield ignores Regal as they exit.
25. Ryback
Now we see everyone paired
off. It’s a Couples Skate. Ryback and Reigns. Cena and Punk. Claudio and Nemeth. Hero and Sheamus. Jericho now stands and starts wandering
around the ring.
26. Randy
Orton
Orton hits the ring and is
instantly tossed out by Jericho, who then falls back to the canvas, seemingly
asleep. Orton’s disbelieving (14) - he didn't even notice Jericho, who knew Jericho was even in the goddamn battle royal. Where the hell is Cody - how did Defiance wind up entirely out of Summer Slam?
27. Santino
Santino, with his
superconfidence when he hits the ring, joins Ryback and the two eliminate
Reigns (13)
Ryback then punishes Santino
for several minutes.
28. Titus
O’Neill
From TPPTPTP (TPPTPTP Featuring Titus O'Neill TPPTPTPFTON, that's the step they take just before they break up and feud, remind me of that in a year)– he enters and
takes a quick shot from Ryback, Sheamus and Nemeth battle the Kings, Punk v.
Cena, Jericho is sleep. 10 in the ring,
2 left.
29. The
Miz
Miz comes in and starts
stomping on Jericho – stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp – just really stomping out
what appears to be a defenseless Jericho – Ryback is just about to push O’Neill
out…who is number 30?
30. Rey
Mysterio
The legendary Mysterio returns
– he enters with a highspot that gets Ryback off of O’Neill, and the two of
them, with help of Santino, eliminate the big man (12 Ryback), Santino looks to
celebrate, but Mysterio and O’Neill toss him out (11), Miz sees the advantage
and leaves Jericho to push out O’Neill (10 – and that means that everyone left
should either be in the IC tournament or taking on Danielson….he says, note, …should
be…) and even though Jericho looked to not even be aware, not even conscious of
the stomping he was taking by Miz, he pops up when Miz is unaware and throws
him over the top rope (9)….Punk wins his battle with Cena (8)…
7 men left.
The two triple crown winners,
Jericho and Mysterio, go nose to nose.
But it's not.
And the former UFC Champion emerges.
