Older than Twitter. Not quite as profitable. A pro wrestling counterfactual: What if the World Wrestling Federation was organized around workrate, around the idea that the pivotal word in the phrase "sports entertainment" is the first? Can one Ricky Steamboat pinfall put right what once went wrong? Go to the earliest archived post; scroll to December 19, 2005 "it begins" and you're ready to roll.
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Triple H, October 2011:
“When I grew up, I hated Hogan. I thought he was terrible and didn’t like to watch him. I was like Punk in a way. I liked the Steamboats and Flairs and the ones that could go. Would I be right in saying that Hogan was the wrong guy to go with, and they should’ve changed directions and gone with Steamboat because he was the better wrestler? Ludicrous.” - Triple H. October, 2011.
Wrestlemania VIII 1992
Sunday, January 15, 2006
The Rumble is here.
Wrestlemania VIII – Indianapolis
Gorilla/Bobby
(Dark – Davey Boy/Anvil d. Demolition)
1. Beverly Brothers d. Sarge/Boss Man
-Warrior returns! He runs in after the fall on Sarge – and punks Sarge out – he and the Boss Man are the reconstituted weirdest jobber tag team ever – White Power!
2. Hulk Hogan d. Jake Roberts
-You know, legend’s match. It’s short. It's Hogan's fourth - Andre got the first four, Hogan the next.
3. The Mountie Jacques Rougeau d. Tatanka
-Young Tatanka makes his debut and puts the Mountie, the new "harder edged" Mountie over. Tatanka's gotta bleed as they sell Rougeau's momentum.
4. Undertaker d. Sid (Special guest referee - Lex Luger)
-Chokeslam. Tombstone. Bodybag. No face turn, ‘cause Sid was the face, but I’m thinking the Dead Guy starts to get cheered at this point. Some people will enjoy the big on big, and if it's kept short, it's fine. Taker and Lex get chesty with each other pre and postmatch.
5. Owen Hart d. Shawn Michaels
Again, the best match on the show. Owen gets his first PPV win. Shawn and Owen – ‘member, they broke in together working dark at the first ever Summer Slam in ’88 – 4 years later, you have to give Shawn more credit – as he had the tag run and has been working constantly while Owen was gone with the ankle – but in terms of talent and potential Vince is positioning them as exactly the same guy. One with the white hat, one with the black – future of the business, right here. Crowd eats it up. Owen with the enziguri.
6. Tags: Money Inc. d. Strike Force
We really get behind Tito and Martel – it’s a great story, they finally reunite all these years later, they go over the Warriors on the last Main Event – but they can’t get past the champs. Money, Money, Money, Money, Money. Road Warriors roar down the aisle in the motorcycles postmatch, they Doomsday Device Money Inc --- and then they Doomsday Device Strike Force. The Road Warriors no longer give a fuck, and they leave to the loud mixed reaction.
7. IC: Streetfight: Randy Savage d. Roddy Piper
Randy one more time. They let them roam the arena and brawl, on the floor, up the aisle, to the back, they brawl in the parking lot and get some car action. Blood and Broken things. Randy loves him some fork. Fork! Fork! Fork! Elbowdrop. Pinfall. We say goodbye to Piper again.
8. WWF Title: Bret Hart d. Ric Flair (w/Hennig)
8 years later, Bret Hart is your WWF Champion. This makes him the first ever winner of all three belts: World, IC, Tags in the modern era, and the announce, even Bobby will put over the Triple Crown post-match. Bret overcomes the attempted interference from Hennig. Flair attempts to attack after the match – he’s stopped by Hennig.
Hennig pushes Flair away, a “he beat you fair and square – leave him alone” kind of a thing. Bobby, down from the announce, gets in between them – they have words – Flair demurs, saying it’s fine, telling Hennig to go get his robe and they’ll get the car…and that’s enough for Curt, he tears Flair’s robe up – throwing pieces of it to the crowd – he takes off his sportscoat and throws it at Heenan – and Hennig storms out with his face turn.
Whole Hart family now fills up the ring. Owen, Davey Boy, Anvil, Stu, Helen, the brothers and sisters and the kids the whole lot of them hit the ring, lifting Bret high in the air – WM VIII ends with the huge celebration – Bret Hart is the WWF Champion!
Two months later is the NWA show (it’s WCW at this point, for a couple of years, but, as earlier noted, the strong degree to which WWF values tradition prompted Ted Turner to maintain the NWA leagacy) Vader gets a huge push with two wins, one of them a handicap win over a tag team, and the other a big on big against Hashimoto. Dr. Death returns and beats Sting – in a postmatch, Foley turns face with a save. Bang, Bang! Austin wins, Dustin and Windham keep…
Windham and Rotundo…forever.
Rude drops the US to Jushin Liger, and Pillman can’t keep the two World belts in the Stampede Family, dropping to Steamboat – who joins Flair and Rogers in the small group that held the WWF and NWA World Title. Pillman turns heel after the match, he and Austin joining together to stomp Steamboat out viciously, just battering him down with chairshot upon chairshot to the point where the locker room erupts – Arn, Rude, Foley, Sting – faces and heels alike – all jumping in to save the Dragon – Pillman and Austin bail out and celebrate in the aisle and the Blonds are born.
Great American Bash – 1992 Albany, GA
NWA Title: Ricky Steamboat d. Brian Pillman
US Title: Jushin Liger d. Rick Rude
Tags: Dustin/Windham d. Freebirds
Vader d. Hashimoto
Steve Austin d. Hase
Steve Williams d. Sting
Terry Gordy d. Mark Bagwell
Vader d. Invader/Koloff
Summerslam is next – and it’s the one in London.
On Prime Time Wrestling, we have a Hennig/Flair/Bobby confrontation – Hennig and Flair telling Bobby he’s got to choose – a choice interrupted by the new White Power, who run in and whack Hennig out, clearly they were hired by Bobby, making his choice obvious. Jacques Rougeau demands a singles title shot – he says he’s rather have it in France than in a vulgar country like England – but he says he’s earned it – so they set up Savage/Jacques. The Warriors continue destroying faces and heels and get their rematch from Survivor Series and will take on Money Inc, a new monster heel Demolition Crush – starts his singles run. And the Razor Ramon vignettes begin.
Take…..a look….at me.
It looks like an Owen/Michaels rubber match - as the Harts continue to leave big footprints on the company, but Shawn, the week before the show, refuses to face Owen - he says he's being set up to lose, that it's a Hart love fest and he doesn't even speak the language in England and they'll use their backstage stroke to screw him - they're gonna screw the Heart Break Kid in England!
So, he's not going - and that means that damn Owen Hart doesn't get to wrestle at Summer Slam.
That Shawn. He burns me up.
But the big story is London, so that means we’re gonna do the Bret/Davey Boy thing. ‘Cept, here it’s for the WWF Title and not the IC – and here we have, obviously, a significantly richer back story between the two men. They were the Hart Foundation, longtime tag champs, DBS turned, attacked Owen, but couldn't take the IC from Bret. Upon Davey's return, he was a changed man, but everyone but Bret accepted it. It took Davey's winning the WWF Title, leaping over Bret, for the Hit Man to swallow his pride and recognize the Bulldog's greatness. But now - now Bret Hart is the man, WWF Champion, and, more importantly, Triple Crown Winner.
With Summer Slam in London - Bret agrees to give DBS a title shot - and we're off. It’s a family divided – we do the whole “History of the Hart Foundation” thing – and they sell Davey Boy as being England’s greatest hero, and this is the first ever PPV outside North America, so it has an historical import just on this – you get the idea.
It's Summer Slam '92 from Wembley - Bret defends against Davey Boy, Savage defends against Jacques, its Money Inc against the Road Warriors. It's Summer Slam '92! Call your cable company!
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