Older than Twitter. Not quite as profitable. A pro wrestling counterfactual: What if the World Wrestling Federation was organized around workrate, around the idea that the pivotal word in the phrase "sports entertainment" is the first? Can one Ricky Steamboat pinfall put right what once went wrong? Go to the earliest archived post; scroll to December 19, 2005 "it begins" and you're ready to roll.
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Triple H, October 2011:
“When I grew up, I hated Hogan. I thought he was terrible and didn’t like to watch him. I was like Punk in a way. I liked the Steamboats and Flairs and the ones that could go. Would I be right in saying that Hogan was the wrong guy to go with, and they should’ve changed directions and gone with Steamboat because he was the better wrestler? Ludicrous.” - Triple H. October, 2011.
Survivor Series 1995
Monday, February 06, 2006
Summer Slam was here.
Survivor Series – 1995 Washington DCJR and Cornette.
(Dark – Al Snow d. PJ Walker)
Ted DiBiase Presents: The Opening Tag!
1. Tables Match: Public Enemy d. Louie Spicoli/Marty Jannetty
PE tosses the mismatched Marty and Spicoli (Marty chosen for the tag team cred. – Louie ‘cause he could have taken the bumps) through tables. Fans Pop. Razor and Diesel run in – jackknife/Edge on PE, laying them out. They then promo
“Hey, yo. Big Mang. How many t-shirts will we sell tonight, in Chocolate City?”
“Well, Razor, attendance tonight is 17,128. On average, each customer will spend $11 bucks on merchandise; Razor/Diesel t-shirts account for 46% of all merchandise sales – the rest are those Mr. Freeze Freezer Bars…You know what they say about those, Bad Guy?”
“No Mang, what they say?”
“They are as fun to squeeze as they are to eat.”
“That’s what they say about Ra-zor Ra-mon, Chico.”
“Where’s the blonde at? Those kids are hogging her again. I have to get my stretching in.”
“She has to get her stretching in, Chico.”
“Hey Gunns – shine up our belts!”
2. Chris Candido d. Savio Vega
Spirited, good matchup. Candido clean – handshake afterward – everybody’s friends.
3. Sean Waltman (w/Sunny and HHH) d. Hakushi
Terrific match, tears the house down, as we give Waltman someone who can match him spot for spot and with three good matches right in a row, we’re rolling here in DC. Sunny distracts the official, HHH Pedigree – Waltman pinfall. It’s a pretty good formula. The Clique JV rolls on. Crotch chops. They make out with Sunny. Good times.
4. HHH (w/Waltman and Sunny) d. Bob Holly (DQ)
Another good match, Alabama Bob isn’t feeling the Clique – he gets frustrated with the interference and the related shenanigans – takes a chair to HHH and gets DQ’d. Holly gets some heat by firing chairshots at HHH and Waltman – but they eventually overwhelm him – a bloody Helmsley hits the Pedigree – they stand over Bob mockingly.
5. This is supposed to be Undertaker/Ahmed, which would tick the workrate down a little bit…but somehow, you, the purchaser of Survivor Series 95 has gotten your money’s worth, so Ahmed enters….the Undertaker enters…but before the match, the lights go out…and when they come on…the Undertaker is gone.
What the hell happened to the Undertaker??
We cut to the parking lot – and Jacobs, in the mask, is carrying the Undertaker over his shoulder and dumping him into the trunk of his car.
Who is this masked man???
So, Ahmed takes the mic – “Another white man who afraid of this! We in DC– and the brothers want to see Ahmed Johnson! And they gonna see Ahmed Johnson! Send some punk ass white boy down here fo’ his beatin’.”
5. Owen Hart (w/cast on leg) d. Ahmed Johnson
Not gonna be an ass beating. Owen makes a surprise return to the WWF, gone since the night after XI when Bret broke his ankle, Owen enters here with a walking cast on his ankle – his limping allows the match to be competitive – Ahmed’s undefeated but not very good – has a limited power based moveset – but Owen could sell the hell out of it here enough for this to count as our fifth straight good match of the night. Owen’s skill too much for Johnson in the end – and the finish comes as Owen hits the enziguiri – of course, with the cast.
Owen uses the cast as a weapon. You know, like he did with the cast on his arm during this actual year. Owen knocks Ahmed clean out with the enziguiri – and that now becomes Owen’s thing.
6. Tags: Diesel/Razor (w/HHH, Waltman, and Sunny) d. Smoking Gunns
First ever title for Diesel, Razor adds a tag to go with his 2 ICs. It’s another good match, the Gunns are the faces – but they’re just placeholders – it’s like putting the straps on the Killer Bees – they’re perfectly fine to open the show with – but can’t do anything more than that – so, the fans are sizably pro-Clique as Razor and Diesel roll over the Gunns.
Ted is thrilled, runs in with two briefcases full of money – Ted mocks the Gunns – grabs the arms of Razor and Diesel and thrusts them into the air…
They take the money – and then wipe Ted out. Big pop. Jacknife. Edge. That’s the end of Ted. The announce will explain the next night that Ted has resold the tag division back to the WWF.
They leave the post match beatdown for HHH/Waltman, like cackling vultures, they dive in and take the scraps, crotchchopping, laughing, mocking the Gunns. Diesel tosses his strap to Razor, then picks up Sunny and tosses her over his shoulder – they head back up the aisle as HHH and Waltman celebrate in the ring.
7. IC: Shawn Michaels d. Shane Douglas
Douglas could generate crazy heat, and this would have been a money match; they sell it as different than most matches, more out of control, most shoot-style, as if Douglas won’t co-operate. This is it for Douglas, he’s gone after this match, so it really should have that “outsider” type feel – I’m not explicitly using the outsider gimmick, this is more of a dry run with it – but Douglas is obviously not with anyone else, not part of the heel locker room, we know he’s from ECW – and it should far more have the feel of an interpromotional match than of a typical good guy/bad guy set up.
We get stuff in the ring – stuff outside – Michaels beats Douglas with the same gimmick he used to end Hennig’s career – elbowdrop, elbowdrop – lifts Douglas up, refusing to pin him – then the third elbowdrop and the lazy cover for the pinfall win. It’s a definitive, destructive finish. Michaels stands over Douglas, holding the belt high. Triumph for Shawn Michaels.
Hit Mr. Perfect's music.
Gone since his stint as guest referee at X, the longtime WWF Champion returns, hitting the ring to a big, surprised pop and gets in the ring with Michaels as Douglas rolls out.
"So, here's the great HBK - here's the Triple Crown winner - here's the mighty Shawn Michaels."
Fans pop.
"I'm not impressed....I'm not impressed because, to me, you'll always be that kid in the locker room who was too scared to call me by my first name. You're a punk, Michaels. You're a punk and you'll always be a punk."
That's a heel turn.
Michaels responds, "Curt Hennig - no one has more respect for what you accomplished here in the WWF than me - you were one of the great WWF Champions of all time - and one of the great accomplishments in my life was that I ended your career. And I did you a favor, Hennig, yeah, I did you a favor - because you and I know that your back was in no condition for you to work, the last year, maybe the last two years of your career - and it was sad for all these fans to watch a shell of himself come out here and pretend to still be Mr. Perfect."
'Cause he's Shawn Michaels, babyface or not.
Hennig just laughs.
"Michaels, a couple of weeks ago, that's the kinda thing that woulda really bothered me - it woulda bothered me that a piece of crap like you ended my career - it woulda bothered me that these fans, who I bled for for so many years, are here right now cheering for a guy like you instead of a guy like me - but Michaels, something happened in the last week - in the last week - I got a call from a man....from a man in Atlanta..."
Crowd interested.
"I got a call from a man in Atlanta who said he was ready to take the next step - ready to move to the next level - ready to come here, to the World Wrestling Federation - and stake his claim as the best wrestler in the world.
And the man he's gonna beat to do that will be you, Michaels."
Crowd interested.
"And right next to him when he does it....is going to be me."
Perfect music hits. Perfect leaves. And the people speculate about who is coming from the NWA to take on Shawn Michaels.
8. WWF Title: Bret Hart d. Davey Boy Smith
One more classic from Bret and Davey Boy. This is one of the great PPV’s ever, 3 great matches and every match on the show a good one. Survivor Series 95. Who knew?
Owen comes down to the ring at midmatch, rooting for Davey Boy. Sharpshooter, of course, but Davey Boy won’t submit – Bret moves to the ankle spot, Davey Boy quits while simultaneously Owen climbs into the ring. Simultaneously. Very important. Owen and Bret brawl – Owen knocks Bret out with the enziguiri and stands over him and yells at him, “What the hell’s the matter with you? When are you going to be my brother again? What the hell’s the matter with you, Bret?” Owen helps Davey Boy up – Davey Boy unhappy – Davey Boy says he could have broken the hold if Owen hadn’t have jumped in…Owen says that Davey Boy quit first, and he was trying to save his ankle – they calm things down…
Owen drops the belt on Bret’s body and that’s where the shot holds as the show ends.
In the NWA…Mero beats Luger, Regal wins. This was the PPV when they did a tournament against New Japan, so there’s an unbelievable amount of talent here – Benoit and Eddy each have crazy good wins, Savage/Flair keep the belts, Page keeps the US, and Sting beats Jushin Liger to keep the World Title. It’s a show even better than Survivor Series – a real good end to the year.
Starrcade – 1995 Nashville
NWA Title: Sting d. Jushin Liger
US: DDP d. Tenzan
Tags: Savage/Flair d. Sasaki/Chono
Eddy Guerrero d. Otani
Chris Benoit d. Kanemoto
Steve Regal d. Alex Wright
Marc Mero d. Lex Luger
American Males d. One Man Gang/Eaton
On the way to the Rumble…
Candido and Savio, new respect between them, and with a recognition that Razor and Diesel are mowing through the tag ranks, team up. They’ll meet the Gunns at the Rumble – winning team will go onto WM XII to wrestle for the straps.
We’re gonna do Undertaker/Jacobs. Undertaker still does not know who this giant man is who is doing all of his old undead guy moves. But now he’s less interested in solving the mystery than he is in kicking his ass. The important thing is – it’s not a dentist.
Actually, again this is gonna be a swerve, we’re still not really gonna do this.
Ahmed is pissed off. The white man lied to him – he was prepared for the dead white guy and instead they brought in one of the Harts – the whitest family alive. Ahmed says if he got to prepare, he’d kick any one of they so called Canadian asses. Davey Boy music. Davey Boy. And there’s that match.
Clique rematches all around. HHH/Bob, Waltman/Hakushi. We’ll tag up these two sides on the way to the Rumble – we’ll switch up and have singles matches on each side – we’ll give the faces enough heat that people want to watch the matches again – but they’re good matches, and the Clique is a good act – so it’s not that tough.
At the top….
Razor and Diesel, as said, run over the full tag ranks, faces and heels alike – not really taking any of them seriously, Diesel saying, “to quote a great man, ‘when are we gonna get us some competition?’”
“Hey Chi-co, what we gonna do at the Rumble, Mang?”
“We’ve killed the whole tag team division, you were Intercontinental Champion 1100 times, I think one of us broke Sunny…”
The giggling is interrupted when two blond men leap from the stands, one on each side – and, shockingly, wipe out Diesel and Razor with a move known in Japan as the Ace Crusher, adopted by Mikey Whipwreck in ECW as the whippersnapper – and will, eventually, be called the Stone Cold Stunner – but right now is used by these men, Dustin Rhodes and Steve Austin – to wipe out the tag champs.
Austin takes the mic. “You two yellow bastards make me sick. Look at you – the “Clique” – you want something to do at the Royal Rumble – the Natural Dustin Rhodes and Stunning Steve Austin will give you something to do at the Rumble – you two are about to find out what it’s like to play with the big boys.”
Michaels continues his program with Perfect, the always cocky Michaels getting a little nervous as Hennig drops hints as to who is coming, he's a former NWA World Heavyweight Champion - he's a former champion in Japan....
...and eventually, on the video wall....
“Shawn Michaels…..Shawn Michaels….I’m coming Shawn Michaels…I’m coming to HURT YOU Shawn Michaels. Who’s the Man? Who’s the Man?”
Michaels sells the shock at the sight of Vader on the video wall talking to him - allowing Hennig to smash him over the head with the IC belt and PerfectPlex him.
Austin and Dustin are sold as tag team specialists – Dustin’s got 2 NWA tag titles with two different partners – Austin has one – and also was US Champ – so all three newcomers are highly decorated shots in the arm of the talent roster.
And in the main….Bret and Owen. Man this is a good card.
Bret does some manipulation now, doing a promo where he calls out Davey Boy and berates him for letting Owen stop the match at Survivor Series. Bret says he couldn’t keep the sharpshooter locked on for much longer – that he was tired – that all Davey Boy had to do was hold on one more second and he would be WWF Champion right now – but instead – Bret’s never gonna give him another shot – and it’s all Owen’s fault.
Davey Boy isn’t too bright, so he listens to Bret and his resentment of Owen grows.
Bret’s never beaten Owen – and now vows not just to beat him – but to rip the cast of his ankle and break it again.
Bret’s the best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be – and he owes his little brother a long overdue receipt.
Owen will be wrestling with the cast – and promises that one enziguiri will knock Bret cold – and again he’ll be WWF Champion. They have Owen do a series of singles matches on RAW, each one ending with an enziguiri knockout finish. Bret breaks ankles – Owen knocks suckers out. Owen says he lost his WWF title over a year ago, and has never gotten a rematch. And even then – he never lost it to Bret.
Owen/Bret, Shawn/Vader, Diesel/Razor v. Austin/Dustin -- that’s the top of your card for Royal Rumble ’96. Add in the two Clique matches and the long awaited Undertaker v. Giant Masked Man who will turn out to be his brother, almost.
Royal Rumble '96. Call your local cable company right now! Do it! Do it bitches!
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