(Outside
of our narrative, this is the 7th anniversary of the Counterfactual;
over that time I’ve changed jobs and gotten married – and that was just in
2012. I’ll be here another year if you
will. Even if you won’t, I’ll still be
here. I got nowhere else to go.)
Survivor
Series 2011 was here.
We’re
headed to WWF 100, the 100th PPV in World Wrestling Federation
history – Royal Rumble 2012.
And
we have a disputed commissionership; Steve Regal, head trainer for Underground,
currently possessing each title belt in the WWF was promised by outgoing
Commissioner Bret Hart that he would be his replacement, but they had a falling
out – and at the close of Survivor Series it was Mick Foley, making his return
and bringing with him GDI (with the two newest members, the Kings of Wrestling)
who was named Commissioner.
The
only resolution – War Games, to be contested on a Fight Night say a month after
Survivor Series.
The stips increase, if GDI wins, whomever gets the submission
gets the WWF Title shot against Nemeth at the Rumble. If Underground wins, whomever submits can’t
wrestle anywhere in North America for a year.
There
are pre-tapes where each side is selected.
I want that done away from the ring.
Regal
pretty quickly picks Nemeth, Sheamus, Barrett, and McIntyre. He then explains why he isn’t picking Gabriel
or Riley (Empire has to defend the belts at WWF 100, War Games is a brutal
match, they want to make sure at least two members are at full strength). He
explains why he isn’t picking any of the Douchebags (sometimes, what happens
outside the cage in a War Games can determine the result; Michael Cole will
tell them what to do). He doesn’t need to explain why he isn’t picking
DiBiase.
DiBiase’s not there.
Why?
At
SSeries, Orton got his mojo back; the Fight Night right after the PPV was he
and DiBiase – Orton beat him and then punted him with the Golden Goal.
Then
it gets tougher – that leaves Kidd, Black, Ambrose.
Regal
says he can’t pick Kidd and Black, then shows a tape – it’s of another War
Games for control of the WWF, this one between Steamboat and the 51% Solution,
with Regal turning on Team Steamboat and intentionally throwing the match to
the heels.
No
one knows the potential for skullduggery in a War Games like Regal – and it
isn’t that he doesn’t trust Kidd and Black, but the risk is too high. Kidd understands, Black does not – Black’s
been with Underground since after Mania – what does he have to do to prove
himself?
Regal
says maybe they find out at War Games.
But he won’t be the fifth man – that’s going to be Ambrose.
Team
Underground is set.
The
selection process is similar with GDI, but it starts with Steamboat bringing
someone to speak to the crew – Dean Malenko.
He
shows the tape of his submitting in another War Games match; that submission ended
his career. Malenko says in the NWA he
and Benoit and Eddy and Jericho were in the same spot – all World Champions,
all with success around the world – those three came to the WWF and won Triple
Crowns, Dean never won a single thing.
War Games ends careers – make sure they’re prepared to be the one who
loses before they volunteer for the mission.
Steamboat
asks for volunteers – everyone raises his hand.
First
two are easy – Punk and Danielson.
Steamboat says he also wants the Kings of Wrestling. He turns to Sydal/Tatsu says he needs them
outside, no one knows Cole and Douchebags like they do.
But
that’s everyone. No one left. That means the fifth man will be a mystery.
Fun!
More
build – on RAW they do a full face off for a coin flip for who will get the man
advantage – it’s Underground.
And
GDI is able to goad Nemeth into saying that he will be the first man in the
ring (because he’s not scared of nobody, get it?)
They
establish the psychology; will Underground be tight, fearful, no one wanting to
be the one to cost Regal control of the WWF?
Will GDI turn on each other – everyone wanting to be the one who wins to
get the shot, no one wanting to suffer the penalty of losing.
And
then it’s time.
First
into the cage is Nemeth, the World Champion.
Next
is Punk – who obviously feels cheated given how Nemeth took the belt from him
and, one notes, he’s never gotten a rematch.
Next
is McIntyre.
Then
Hero. Hero and Punk working together in
late 2011 WWF.
Then
Sheamus – reuniting the Hooligans who do some double team stuff.
Then
Claudio – the Kings square off against the Hooligans while Punk fights Nemeth.
That’s
when the Douchebags hit the ramp – there are five of them and only Sydal/Tatsu
for GDI, which is about right given who is involved, they get in some brawl and
then the entire security force moves them all to the back.
Then
Barrett.
Then
Danielson – but not Danielson, because he’s stomped out on the ramp by Kidd and
Black, they leave him laying – medical helps him to the back – meaning when Ambrose
comes to the ring next, it’s 5 on 3 for Underground, and just desperate times
for GDI, Douchebags cleared security out of the way allowing Kidd and Black to
prove their loyalty and now here we are – we don’t know who the fifth man for
GDI will be, but we know it’s not Kidd or Black, and it will need to be a game
changer, because it’s 5-3.
It
is.
It’s
Swagger.
Swagger
hits the cage and suplexes everyone in the ring on his way to Nemeth, his
former partner, who hits his knees to beg off – and that’s enough time for the
an Underground recovery, quickly enough they get control again, given the 5-4
advantage – there’s a spot where it looks like Hero will have to submit to
Sheamus but Punk saves him - all looks lost until Danielson emerges from the
back, limping his way to the ring, he does the superhero thing and soon has
McIntyre in the Cattle Mutilation – Punk has the opportunity to break it up (so
Danielson isn’t the one who gets the shot) but instead blocks Nemeth from doing
the same thing and McIntyre taps.
GDI
wins. Mick Foley is the new WWF
Commissioner. Bryan Danielson will
wrestle Nick Nemeth for the WWF Title at WWF100. As Danielson realizes what Punk has done, he
finally accepts him into the GDI fold – and for the first time the entire group
is on the same page. It is Steamboat and Danielson with the full compliment of GDI behind them challenging for the WWF Championship at WWF100. Will the "best wrestler in the world" finally grab the top prize in the sport?
Let’s
fill out the rest of the card.
Sheamus
defends the IC against the Miz. Miz is
the last man standing in the Clique; Sheamus, the Clique Killer, has seemingly
ended the careers of Edge, Christian, and now Nitro. Also gone is Natty, she leaves with Nitro
after Survivor Series.
So
it’s just Miz, the last man standing, against Sheamus.
At
WWF 100, every wrestler/valet/announcer who has ever been a part of the
previous 99 PPVs is invited to
return. That’s going to mean you should
expect everyone not dead or with TNA (except for one guy with TNA, who WWF was
able to use at an event in 2012, you may recall) to attend. As we get closer, one of the selling points
is a first time ever uniting of the entire Clique. Do you want to see the whole Clique together
for the only time ever? Do you want to buy the t-shirt? Only on Pay Per
View at WWF 100.
With
the spirit of WWF history in the air, Foley announces the challengers to Empire
for the tag belts.
Two WWF veterans both
with a grudge against Underground – Booker T and Jerry Lawler.
(Both
were assaulted by Underground).
It’s
a last ride situation for both guys, and for Lawler his first ever chance at
any belt in the WWF.
With all those WWF
veterans in attendance, wouldn’t it be something to see Lawler/Booker take the
tag belts.
And
that’s the matchup all the way until the go home RAW, when Orton (not booked
for 100) angrily confronts Foley in the ring – he’s just another corporate
puppet, he’s just another example of a guy Orton’s hated his whole life, a guy
who used to be something but now he tells people who are something what to do.
They
hash out that what Orton wants is in on the tag match with the current version
of Defiance.
Foley
says he didn’t know Orton had a partner.
Cue
the new partner – Cody Rhodes. Rhodes, as you've seen since Mania, feels slighted by the WWF, and that's what's drawn he together with Orton.
Orton
and Rhodes, Defiance, make the tag title match a three way.
4
singles matches.
Punk
and Cena rematch – they had a draw at Survivor Series, for Cena it’s the
biggest match in his life (essentially the same build as the prior show) not
only wrestling a 3 time WWF Champion, but doing so at WWF 100 in front of the
legends who built this sport. Punk
doesn’t much care about the legends who built the sport, doesn’t much care
about WWF 100 – he cares about himself and GDI.
Punk isn’t there to prove anything to the legends, he’s there to beat
John Cena. Cena drapes himself in the promotion's history and heritage as we get closer to 100, Punk's the guy who threw down the WWF Title belt - and he's made every apology he's ever going to make already. If that's not good enough for some of the legends returning at 100, then screw 'em.
McIntyre
needs to prove himself after submitting in War Games; he hates that he’s let
Regal down – he demands to go into WWF 100 in a not enviable match – against
Jack Swagger. Swagger was only
marginally effective at War Games after that initial burst – his obsession with
Nemeth his only concern.
Swagger’s first
singles match in over a year will be at WWF 100. He only promos in pre-tape, because that lisp is hard to manage, ideally he radiates a single minded hatred for Nemeth.
Following
War Games, Sydal/Tatsu began to slowly get some payback against Douchebags –
and that culminates in Tatsu’s facing Heath Slater at WWF 100. It's expected that Sydal and Ryder may find their way to become involved - and the match is made No DQ.
Young
Money wrestles again; this time in a cage – Foley says he appreciates a man’s
need to get to his shift at Ikea, but Killings isn’t escaping this time; it’s
Kingston and Killings in a cage at WWF 100. Foley uses a lot of "once and for all" language, signifying this may be the blow off.
Finally
the opening tag – we’ve added a Colon, Epico – they’re heels, and they poke at
Henry having lost his tag title shot enough that we get Henry/Santino against
the Colons in the opening tag.
Add in over 200 returning WWF legends - it's WWF100. It's going to be a happening.
Add in over 200 returning WWF legends - it's WWF100. It's going to be a happening.
WWF
Title: Nick Nemeth (w/Kelly) v. Bryan Danielson
IC
Title: Sheamus v. Miz
Tag
Titles: Empire v. Booker/Lawler v. Defiance
CM
Punk v. John Cena
Jack
Swagger v. McIntyre
No DQ: Yoshi
Tatsu v. Heath Slater (w/Cole)
Cage
Match: @TruthKills v. Ka$h Kingston
Henry/Santino
v. Colons
Back in January with the Rumble
3 comments
Hopefully you are here for many more years than just one!!!
Not to be that guy, but I predicted Nemeth/Danielson back when you first said that this Rumble would be the 100th PPV.
Now, predictions
Danielson over Nemeth, Danielson will defend against Jericho at Mania. I originally thought you were gonna go with Nemeth vs. The Rock, but now I see this thing with Swagger, and I see you're going in a different direction for Rocky.
Miz will beat Sheamus and then celebrate with the Kliq afterwards.
I'll guess Rhodes and Orton will win the tag belts, since Lawler doesn't work Mania, even though Booker does. I THINK I have an idea of what you might do with Booker, if anything. They'll probably drop the belts to WMD.
I'll say.......Kingston wins the cage match. But if Truth wins it, he'll do something with Booker at Mania.
Swagger will beat McIntyre, obviously, with the whole thing with Nemeth coming up at Mania.
Punk will beat Cena(eh, what can I say?) and then eat a Rock Bottom to set up Punk/Rock at Mania.
The Colons will beat the comedy team.
Slater will beat Tatsu, since Slater appears FAR more often on TV these days.
I think that's everything. Should be a great show!
Congrats on your 7-year anniversary!
I love how you're using the War Games match in this thing, I really do. I actually half-expected Underground to win this one, with Chris Hero being the unlucky guy eating the pinfall since you're not going to be able to use him anytime soon, but overall it worked out great. Danielson vs. Nemeth has the potential for an epic confrontation, not to mention my expectations for the Punk/Cena match (you just knew I had to bring that up, right?). I'm a bit disappointed that you're not using Jericho at the PPV, but the card still looks great.
Finally, 200 RETURNING PEOPLE AT THE RUMBLE?!?! I'll be counting names, my friend! LOL
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