WWF100-Royal Rumble 2012

The build is here. 

WWF 100

2012 Royal Rumble – St Louis

(Dark: Kings of Wrestling d. Black/Ambrose)

We open with the ECW theme – and out comes former WWF color commentator/manager Paul Heyman, he goes to the broadcast table, puts on the headphones, joining Joey/JR at the broadcast,  he says “did you miss me?” – and we’re off.

Throughout the evening Heyman’s less a heel than he is just Paul Heyman, he has a keen interest in GDI; when Punk’s match comes, he’ll remind us that Punk wound up as the last holder of a title belt that he has some passing interest in, the ECW Title; and when the title match comes he’ll say any man who has the balls to call himself the Best Wrestler in the World in front of “this group” gets his attention.

Who is this group?

So, there’s a section of the floor seats blocked off, and it’s about to be filled in by the 200 WWF wrestlers/announcers/managers/valets from WWF PPV history who are here tonight to celebrate WWF 100. They’ll come out in 3 blocks.

The only man to work all 100 WWF PPVs, ring announcer Howard Finkel introduces the two people who will greet everyone as they are introduced and come to their section – WWF Commissioner Mick Foley and the junior Senator from the great state of Connecticut, the Honorable Linda McMahon.

Foley and Linda enter – Linda hit the ground hard, first sponsoring a tax reform bill based on her “tax millionaires” campaign pledge, and currently spearheading a large stimulus package aimed at “rebuilding infrastructure”; between her work and World Wildlife Fund CEO Vince McMahon’s tireless work with the United Nations to reverse climate change, the McMahons are at their height of global respect.

The announce explains to us that WWF has given all of the former title holders who are here tonight championship belts commemorating their highest earned WWF or NWA or ECW Title (as they have control over all of those histories and belts, and because it facilitates some ECW Title talk from Heyman) and the former Triple Crown Winners will receive newly crafted gold medals.  So as each person enters, if he was a title holder that’s noted. 

Howard begins by introducing the distinguished guests….From the 1980s…

1.       Governor Jesse Ventura

2.       Mean Gene Okerlund

3.       King Kong Bundy

4.       Wendy Richter

5.       Lelani Kai

6.       David Sammartino

7.       WWF Tag Champ Mike Rotundo

8.       NWA Tag Champ Mr Wonderful Paul Orndorff

9.       IC Champ Tito Santana

10.   WWF Tag Champ Brutus Beefcake

11.   WWF Tag Champ Nikolai Volkoff

12.   WWF Tag Champ Iron Sheik

13.   IC Champ Rowdy Roddy Piper

14.   IC Champ Greg The Hammer Valentine

15.   US Champ Barry Windham

16.   Triple Crown Winner Ricky the Dragon Steamboat (even though he’s the head of GDI, Steamboat sits with the former wrestlers all evening)

17.   WWF Champ Dynamite Kid (Dynamite’s first WWF appearance in a quarter century, he needs aid to walk, the next two men enter with him)

18.   Triple Crown Winner Bret Hit Man Hart

19.   Tag Team Champ Jim the Anvil Neidhart (Steamboat and Dynamite shake hands, their war set the pace for the modern WWF)

20.   B Brian Blair

21.   Jumping Jim Brunzell

22.   IC Champ The Magnificent Don Muraco

23.   Tag Team Champ Jake the Snake Roberts

24.   NWA Champ Terry Funk

25.   NWA Champ Dory Funk, Jr.

26.   WWF Champ Bruno Sammartino (Bruno’s first WWF appearance in a quarter century)

27.   NWA Champ Handsome Harley Race

28.   WWF Tag Champ Rick The Model Martel

29.   WWF Tag Champ Jacques Rougeau

30.   WWF Tag Champ Ray Rougeau

31.   Paul Roma

32.   Demolition Ax

33.   Demolition Smash

34.   WWF Tag Champ Ted DiBiase

35.   Ultimate Warrior

36.   Honky Tonk Man

37.   Koko B Ware

38.   Bobby The Brain Heenan (Heenan gets aid from the Brainbusters in making his way to his seat)

39.   US Champ Arn Anderson

40.   US Champ Tully Blanchard

41.   WWF Tag Champ Marty Jannetty

42.   Triple Crown Winner Shawn Michaels

43.   NWA Tag Champ The Warlord

44.   The Barbarian

45.   Terry Taylor

46.   NWA Champ The American Dream Dusty Rhodes

47.   Virgil

48.   Jimmy Superfly Snuka

Here are the first two matches:

1.       Colons d. Mark Henry/Santino

2.       Cage: Ka$h Kingston d. @TruthKills

In some sense, each match plays to the wrestlers in the crowd – so, the opening tag is a real formula, the Colons are the small quick tagging guys, Santino’s a freak and Henry’s a powerhouse.  The Colons cheat to win, an angry Henry then his some monster powermoves on both Colons that gets approval of the other monster wrestlers.

Then the blow off to the Young Money feud; it’s an escape or pinfall stip – Killings is down, Kingston climbs to the top – but instead of climbing out points to Snuka and hits the top of the cage splash and gets the pinfall.

   

Fink returns to introduce the returnees from the 1990s…

49.   Tony Schiavone

50.   Rugged Ronny Garvin

51.   WWF Tag Champ Pat Tanaka

52.   WWF Tag Champ Paul Diamond

53.   NWA Tag Champ Haku

54.   NWA Champ The Franchise Shane Douglas

55.   WWF Tag Champ Dustin Rhodes

56.   WWF Tag Champ Road Warrior Animal

57.   US Champ Sgt Slaughter

58.   Genichiro Tenryu

59.   NWA Tag Champ Brian Knobbs

60.   NWA Tag Champ Jerry Sags

61.   Mean Mike Enos

62.   Wayne Bloom

63.   Doink the Clown

64.   John Nord

65.   Sid

66.   Tatanka

67.   Kamala

68.   WWF Tag Champ Rick Steiner

69.   WWF Tag Champ Scott Steiner

70.   NWA Tag Champ Konnan

71.   Papa Shango

72.   WWF Tag Champ Lex Luger

73.   WWF Tag Champ The Undertaker

74.   IC Champ Razor Ramon

75.   WWF Tag Champ Diesel

76.   IC Champ Sean Waltman

77.   Tammy Sytch

78.   WWF Tag Champ Billy Gunn

79.   WWF Tag Champ Bart Gunn

80.   Fatu

81.   Samu

82.   Keith Hart

83.   Bruce Hart

84.   NWA Tag Champ Ricky Morton

85.   NWA Tag Champ Robert Gibson

86.   WWF Tag Champ Road Dogg

87.   WWF Champ Bob Backlund

88.   WWF Tag Champ Raven

89.   Jim Cornette

90.   Mabel

91.   Bryan Clarke

92.   Bushwacker Luke

93.   Bushwacker Butch

94.   WWF Tag Champ Carl Ouellete

95.   Savio Vega

96.   Prime Time Brian Lee

97.   Alabama Bob Holly

98.   ECW Tag Champ Justin Credible

99.   NFL Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor

100.                        Ron Harris

101.                        Don Harris

102.                        WWF Tag Champ Kane

103.                        Barry Horowitz

104.                        IC Champ Hunter Hearst Helmsley-McMahon

105.                        Hakushi

106.                        Ahmed Johnson

107.                        Duke The Dumpster Droese

108.                        Teri Runnels

109.                        Triple Crown Winner Stone Cold Steve Austin

110.                        NWA Champ Vader

111.                        World Wildlife Fund CEO Vince McMahon

112.                        Dr. Tom Pritchard

113.                        Ron Simmons

114.                        Henry Godwinn

115.                        Phinneas Godwinn

116.                        WWF Tag Champ Marc Mero

117.                        US Champ 2 Cold Scorpio

118.                        Phil LaFon

119.                        Hector Garza (Garza will need aid to make it to his seat by the rest of the luchadores)

120.                        Perro Aguayo

121.                        Latin Lover

122.                        Cibernetico

123.                        Mil Mascaras

124.                        Dos Caras, Jr.

125.                        Vickie Guerrero (Dos Caras and Vickie jumped the line to move into this decade, but they wanted to enter with Mascaras to symbolize their family commitment)

126.                        Miguel Perez

127.                        IC Champ Ken Shamrock

128.                        Dan The Beast Severn

129.                        Don Callis

130.                        WWF Tag Champ GHB Bradshaw

131.                        Taka Michinoku

132.                        Dick Togo

133.                        Mr. Aguila

134.                        Mens Teioh

135.                        Sho Funaki

136.                        Scott Taylor

137.                        Brian Lawler

138.                        Ulysses S Morley

139.                        IC Champ Steve Regal (like Steamboat, Regal sits with the wrestlers)

140.                        Triple Crown Winner Edge (Edge’s first appearance since Mania)

141.                        WWF Tag Champ Christian

142.                        WWF Tag Champ Matt Hardy

143.                        Trish Stratus

144.                        Michael PS Hayes

145.                        WWF Tag Champ PAUL

146.                        Skip McMahon

147.                        Albert (Albert does not get as much reaction as his Giant Bernard credentials would warrant)

148.                        TV Champ Stevie Richards, Esquire.

149.                        WWF Champ Ric Flair (Flair’s the only TNA guy used here and it’s because he worked Hall of Fame and Mania)

3.       No DQ: Yoshi Tatsu d. Heath Slater

4.       Jack Swagger d. McIntyre

-Tatsu/Slater is designed as a 90s style collision match; ladders and a table – Sydal and Ryder both are involved in an “ECW-anything goes” type of way; Michael Cole takes a bump – this is the blow off to this feud, one that’s been really one sided favoring Underground, so it’s a pretty definitive win for Tatsu and GDI.  Slater/Ryder should need to be scraped off the mat. 

-The serious minded returnees express an interest in seeing Swagger; here’s a guy positioned as the next Kurt Angle, the future of the sport, and Division One became the finest tag team in recent memory – but injuries and then an attack by his former partner and all of Underground have really taken him out of the game.  Here he taps McIntryre really quickly, refusing to release the hold all the way until almost DQ’d for it. 

Here’s the last group -  the 2000s

150.                        NWA Champ Dean Malenko

151.                        US Champ Perry Saturn

152.                        Lita

153.                        ECW Tag Champ Spike Dudley

154.                        Steve Blackman

155.                        US Champ DDP

156.                        ECW Tag Champ Rhyno

157.                        ECW Champ Tajiri

158.                        US Champ Lance Storm (last member of the Harts who you’ll see; so there will be photos of he, Bret/Anvil/Dynamite

159.                        Stacy Keibler

160.                        IC Champ Shane Helms

161.                        Tag Champ Tommy Dreamer

162.                        Tag Champ Leviathan

163.                        Triple Crown Winner Rey Mysterio (last TC winner for the night, so all the TC winners will be in a photo, Bret/Shawn/Austin/Foley/Edge/Rey

164.                        US Champ Jamie Noble

165.                        US Champ Billy Kidman

166.                        WWF Tag Champ Charlie Haas

167.                        WWF Champ  Shelton Benjamin

168.                        Sylvan Grenier

169.                        Rob Conway

170.                        Rene Dupree

171.                        NWA Tag Champ Bill Goldberg

172.                        Doug Basham

173.                        Danny Basham

174.                        Ultimo Dragon

175.                        Nick Dinsmore

176.                        Paul London

177.                        Brian Kendrick

178.                        Orlando Jordan

179.                        TV Champ Jimmy Yang

180.                        NWA Tag Champ Shannon Moore

181.                        NWA Champ Johnny Nitro

182.                        Joey Mercury

183.                        Melina

184.                        Bobby Lashley

185.                        Chris Masters

186.                        WWF Tag Champ Carlito Colon

187.                        IC Champ MVP

188.                        ECW Tag Champ Super Nova

189.                        Juventud Guerrera

190.                        Super Crazy

191.                        Psychosis

192.                        NWA Champ Fit Finlay (Fit will openly root for Underground, following this show he will become Head Trainer for the current trainees Underground, like Sandow, Ryback, Langston, and both Rotundos – while Regal manages the guys on the main roster)

193.                        ECW Champ Sabu

194.                        TV Champ Sandman

195.                        Harry Smith

196.                        Josh Mathews

197.                        The Alpha Male Monte Brown

198.                        WWF Tag Champ The Sidekick Trevor Murdoch

199.                        Matt Striker

200.                        Low Ki

201.                        Maria Kanellis

5.       John Cena d. CM Punk

-If there’s one group who heels Punk, who won’t ever get over his throwing down the WWF Title belt, it’s a group of former wrestlers who never won the WWF Title – Punk walks right up into it, holding three fingers in the air after his introduction to symbolize his 3 WWF Title wins.  The last two returnees, Low Ki and Maria, just add to the discomfort – Low Ki was kicked out of GDI and this is Maria’s first appearance since she left WWF, first appearance since she did Apprentice, first appearance since she returned to ROH with new boyfriend Mike Bennett, so now Punk and Maria are storyline no longer together – when you add Fit, whose WWF career was ended by Punk – it is a hostile, loud, group in opposition to Punk.

Cena’ “Mr WWF” gimmick feeds right into that – in a reversal of their real world match in Chicago, this group of fans almost wills the underdog Cena to score the monumental upset, beating Punk cleanly in the best possible match they can have.  It is designed to be a tough, embarrassing loss for Punk and to give something else for the returnees to explode about.  Heyman is tough on Punk on the announce, “this is the guy who owns my belt?”

6.       WWF Tag Titles: Defiance d. Empire d. Lawler/Booker

-Empire, like Young Money and D1 before them, is just one win away from holding the tag belts for a year, the official men in the match are Barrett/Gabriel – Gabriel’s masked and Riley also appears as they attempt to do the switch.  Lawler/Booker, as the veterans working the show, get the big reaction from the returnees, and there are some false finishes that give hope they will take the straps (it’s one fall to a finish).  Defiance, with both men (Orton/Cody) as legacy guys, also get a lot of good response from the returnees.

The important spot comes on the ramp – Empire’s made an extra match switch and now both men have masks on as Barrett runs up the ramp – waving at the curtain to get help, presumably from the remaining Douchebags, but instead who comes through the curtain is the Rock (the last time we saw him he was getting wiped out by Nemeth/Sheamus/Barrett) he nails Barrett with his WWF Tag Title belt (not Barrett’s belt, the Rock’s belt, like the other returnees) – Barrett staggers and Rock hits him with a Rock Bottom right off the ramp.  It’s designed to be a death blow, as Barrett’s gonna be gone awhile.  Rock holds his belt up in salute to the other returnees and then disappears behind the curtain.

The finish comes soon, RKO pinfall on Riley – Gabriel escapes leaving Riley alone to take a Golden Goal to the head – the returnees cheer for Defiance, everyone cheers for Defiance – which ends quickly when Orton/Cody then wipe out Booker/Lawler postmatch, they aren’t babyfaces, they’re heels – and they punctuate it with a Golden Goal that ends Jerry Lawler’s wrestling career.  We have a tag switch – this is Orton’s third belt with three different partners.

7.       IC: Sheamus d. Miz

-Sheamus is the Clique Killer, having ended the careers of Edge/Christian/Nitro – he goes clean over the last member standing, Miz, ensuring he’ll go into Mania as IC Champ for a full year.  The remaining members of Underground (Reks, Hawkins, Barretta, Kidd, Ambrose, Black) don’t wait for an invitation, they strut their way to the ring to aid Sheamus in sending Miz into the ringpost shoulder first.  As promised – Underground is going to finish burying the Clique tonight at WWF 100.

Shawn Michaels enters the ring. He stands in front of the ringpost – but he’s not there to save Miz, he convinces Sheamus – Miz and Nitro turned on him almost two years previous, Shawn’s not there to save Miz – Shawn wants the last word – Shawn wants to kill the Clique.

Barretta and Hawkins hold Miz up, Shawn readies the superkick – and then he kicks Barretta’s head off.

Sheamus smiles – perhaps he wasn’t fooled at all – perhaps this is a fight Sheamus wants, but there’s no time for that speculation now, as Underground attacks.

Quickly into the ring are Hall/Nash/Waltman – Clique Emeritus gets a quick advantage but then Underground, with superior numbers and an age advantage “what I see in this ring, JR, are young, hungry, athletes” says Heyman, retake control – that brings into the ring the Outlaws and London – and then Edge/Christian/Nitro, all 3 men still selling career ending injuries, so they aren’t doing anything but one armed punching.  Still, the huge numbers advantage now is enough that Fit hops over the barrier himself to tell Sheamus to get out of the ring in the chaos – he begrudgingly does – the remaining Underground quickly falls away – the final spot is  Tyler Reks all by himself, trapped, taking everyone’s finisher (that wraps up Reks).  Trish and Tammy join the ring – the full Clique (as promised) together for the first and presumably last time – each doing the handsign.

8.       WWF Title: Bryan Danielson d. Nick Nemeth (w/Kelly)

-So, when the WWF Title match comes, all of Underground is gone.  It’s Nemeth meeting Danielson one on one for the belt.

The only bit of storytelling beyond their having the very best match they can possibly have, is a spot where Regal leans over the retaining barrier at an unsuspecting Danielson in an outside spot and takes a shot at him.  Regal is then shoved by Steamboat – and that leads to a few minutes of brawling among all of the returnees; they spill out onto the floor, they fight in the crowd (they don’t go in the ring) it’s a few minutes of full chaos; pick whichever matchup it is you’d like to watch – I’d like the screen to have an NFL Redzone inspired Quadbox – (hey look, Funk just hit Foley; Raven just hit Dreamer; Low Ki and Taka are kicking each other – I can’t think of all the possibilities, if you want to see Flair chop Dusty one more time, go nuts). It’s no more than a five minute spot; just enough so it adds to the flavor of the night, provides another moment to remember from WWF 100, but not enough so anyone looks silly although I bet guys would fight over who got to sell a punch for Bruno).

It calms down and now the returnees are essentially surrounding the ring for the nearfall sequence and then for Danielson winning the belt with Cattle Mutilation.

GDI hits the ring, Steamboat included, as Foley enters to hand Danielson the belt – the returnees applaud, acknowledging the match and the new Champ – and as GDI lifts Danielson into the air – CM Punk comes down the ramp.

It’s a spot we’ve seen before – Bret standing on the ramp, forlorn, as Owen held the belt – Chavo then repeated the spot with Eddy a decade later.

Here, Punk lost the belt to Nemeth cashing in his briefcase, then never got a rematch – and tonight he suffered a really hard to swallow defeat to Cena in front of the returnees.  Danielson and Punk have never been friends, Punk has showed time and again that he has changed and can be trusted, they have finally achieved an uneasy peace – but now here we are, the returnees part as Punk hits the ring and Danielson is let off the shoulders of GDI.  They go nose to nose – the champ and the former champ – two allies – and Punk extends his hand.

Danielson takes it – the two men hug – Punk then steps aside and claps as Danielson is again raised in the air, lifting the title belt high, as the show ends. 

I’ll be back in February with the Road to Wrestlemania 28.