Road to Royal Rumble 2013

Survivor Series was here.

8 years we’ve been doing this?  How the hell did that happen?

Thanks to readers new and less new.  As long as Daniel Bryan’s a B+ player in the real world, I guess we’ll keep this world going.

Royal Rumble 2013 is in January.

Here’s the card.

WWF Title: Bryan Danielson v. Dos Caras, Jr.

-Set up in the prior build and really finalized at the show close of Survivor Series, this match is announced immediately.  There’s not a ton of interaction between the two in this build; Caras is a little broad for a main event program; we’re just going to let him exist in that space here – he and Vickie are preparing for the wedding.  That’s a comedy angle, Vickie as Bridezilla, she torments the bridesmaids to lose weight (they’re all the divas, nonexistent to this date but now introduced here in order to create characters for the E show; AJ is a put upon babyface and Nattie returns as a tormenting heel here) and learn wedding reception choreography, she gives them hideous dresses and makes them cut their hair and run her errands.  Various vignettes looking to build to the wedding and enrich the Dos Caras universe.  It’s too cartoonish for Danielson, really, he doesn’t get intertwined with the drive to the wedding – we’ll see him as leader of an increasingly tight GDI, which not only has he as champ but Claudio in the finals of the IC tournament.  Danielson, WWF Champ for a year, just does his work.  4 stars with Dos Caras?  Fine, let’s go.     

The wedding happens at the go home RAW, the guests are all second/third generation guys, either with the company or whomever can be brought in for the day – and the widows/girlfriends of deceased wrestlers, which won’t be mentioned by the announce, it’s just a black comedy easter egg for the hardcores. All the divas with bad dresses and haircuts, some worker in heavy makeup as the minister, similar to real world Bischoff in the Chuck/Billy wedding (right wedding?).

At the appropriate time the ceremony is interrupted by the Rock’s music.  All 3 Usos enter, followed by the Rock – Rock stays on the ramp while the Usos blow up the wedding; the male guests are all beaten up, the female guests run screaming – Roman Reigns Uso spears the minister through the set.  The segment ends with the Rock holding up his IC belt and saying he hopes Dos Caras wins the WWF Title on Sunday – and when the Rock retains his IC Title Sunday, then the two of them will go Title v. Title, for the first time in Wrestlemania history – at WM 29. 

IC Title: The Rock v.__________

Nick Nemeth v. Claudio Castagnoli

-The IC tournament now is down to 2; Nemeth got a pretty large babyface reaction at Survivor Series, and Claudio is a much liked wrestler for the GDI inclined fanbase – the result is going to be more than a few boos for the Rock as he mixes in the build. 

Nemeth is a day away from the Triple Crown and he is full on hungry for it – it is the ultimate demonstration of wrestling immortality and he’s two wins away.  Claudio remains happy go lucky, ready for the biggest match and maybe matches of his life.  Rock does taped promos on both guys in his jokey Rock manner, he and the IC belt are in fabulous locations; big houses, expensive cars, between Kate Upton’s breasts, that sort of thing.  That will draw Regal and Steamboat together in mutual irritation.  They aren’t at their wrestlers sides much in the build, there’s space between Nemeth and Regal to allow for a greater babyface reaction for Nemeth, and Hero moves closer to being Claudio’s mouthpiece; but they’re still the heads of the competing factions.  They  appear on a Heyman Hustle (one of two he does in the build, we’ll discuss the second) with Mick Foley to voice the opposition one last time to the decision to allow Rock to take the IC with him, to insinuate that Foley let his relationship with the Rock guide his judgment, and for Foley to once again, end the argument with the tournament will be his response to that criticism, making Sunday judgment day.   Heyman ends the segment by reminding Steamboat that in case he’s forgotten, Brock Lesnar is real and he’s here for Danielson. 

Tag Titles: Defiance v. Empire v. Douchebags

-The non finish in the number one contenders match at Survivor Series makes this a three way.  The relaxed rules nature of the tag division under Foley and the numbers of men as part of each team gives us a lot of bodies to deal with for this match.  Orton/Bernard/Rhodes are Defiance – Orton’s won the tag title 4 times with 4 partners, and like every asshole, when he is on top he is insufferable (and when he’s not it’s everyone else’s fault); Douchebags are Sandow/Ryder/Slater/Curtis – Curtis joined the group from developmental at Survivor Series in the beatdown of Empire, which is now Barrett/Gabriel and, as part of the build, Ryback, who comes from developmental to help balance the ranks with the loss of Kidd (presumably taken out by DBags who were responding to Hawkins having presumably been taken out by Empire)  They can all fight pretty much constantly in all possible combinations in the build – the story between the two Underground teams is that Cole will finally, finally pick between the teams at the Rumble. There's a spot in the build when a bunch of guys from both Douchebags and Empire are on the ramp and Pac takes them out with the dive from the video wall.  That's now happened 3-4 times over the course of the year.  

 

JerichoDeath v. CM Punk

-Chris Jericho, always with the Sabu light cue gimmick, appears soon after Survivor Series to explain.  Essentially – he has nothing left to do.  He’s won all of the belts, from the NWA to the Triple Crown, and he’s been through all of the incarnations, Lionheart, #7, Y2J, JerichoDark, The Lizard King, The Champ – and what should he do now?  Win the IC again?  He could, but why?  Get a tag team partner?  He could, but why?  He’s had catchphrases, finishing moves, been the fans favorite wrestler and booed out of the building.  There’s nothing left – and when there’s nothing left – you’re dead. 

  He’s JerichoDeath.

But that totally frees him – a ghost can do anything it wants.  He can come when he wants, leave when he wants – if he wants to make CM Punk blow him in the middle of the ring – he’s going to do that, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.  Being dead is the best time of his life. 

And then the lights go out and he’s gone.

Subtextually, he’s added a lot of Edge to the persona (Edge was the guy Jericho couldn’t beat) and going after Punk (who took Edge’s title, Edge had taken from Jericho) is designed to reinforce that.  That’s also not the type of thing you’d get from the announce.  Jericho isn’t going to spear anyone, for example, he’s not aping Edge at that level.

He and Punk do some dueling promos – Jericho positions Punk as sort of a discount Jericho; Jericho plays sold out rock shows around the world, Punk knows a lot about Rancid; Jericho’s hosted his own network reality show, Punk was on G4 a couple of times; Jericho’s ex is banging George Clooney, Punk’s ex is banging the 11^th best wrestler in Ring of Honor.

Punk positions Jericho as Yesterday.  The reason he talks about Fozzy or Dancing with the Stars or Best Week Ever or whatever bullshit he’s doing is he can’t talk about winning wrestling matches because he doesn’t do that anymore.  When Jericho’s talking to Kelly Ripa, Punk’s winning 3 WWF Titles. 

They’ll appear together on that second Heyman Hustle, which allows for Heyman to dig into Punk a little bit, allows for Punk’s medical condition post-Lesnar to be discussed, allows for Jericho to hit Punk with the only thing he says that gets under Punk’s skin, that Jericho isn’t the only one whose best days are behind him, that what Punk’s best at now is carrying Danielson’s bags.

Heyman, at segment’s end, reminds Punk that Brock Lesnar is real, and he’s only here – only here – for Danielson. 

Rey Mysterio v. Mistico

Rey cuts a promo at the beginning of January apologizing to the fans.  He says he got suckered by Dos Caras in a way that wouldn’t have happened five years ago; and he doesn’t want revenge, it’s his own fault.  He says he’s started to slip, he knows it – and he needs to shut it down for awhile.  Rey says he isn’t ready to say it’s his last match, but after the Rumble, he’s going back home for the rest of 2013.  Rey says he hopes to come back at Wrestlemania 30 – but just can’t promise anything right now.  Rey brings Mistico out, says Mistico is a hero in Mexico and if this is Rey’s last match, he wants it to be against him.

And that’s it, it doesn’t get more complicated than that – there are taped pieces from the babyfaces talking about what Rey has meant to them to add to the “maybe Rey is retiring” element of the match.

Taped Fist Match: PAUL v. Sheamus

-Paul knocked Sheamus the fuck out at Survivor Series and it’s now his life, giant babyface with a big right hand, he knocks out some bottom card guys in the build – so does Sheamus, as he gets a rematch centered around Paul’s specialty – they’re gonna tape their fists and fight.

John Cena v. Miz

-Building off their portion of the IC tournament build, Miz is now a heel so can poke at Cena’s true blue WWF forever babyfaceness. 

 That's your show - add in some of those taped Shield vignettes, some drop ins on the next developmental class training Underground, with Ryback (who as mentioned, gets called up during the build) Big E Langston, and Joe Hennig, and Steamboat being said to be close to a major GDI signing that may come to fruition at the Rumble and you have your show.  Heyman will once again be joining JR and Joey for the announce - it's gonna be a happening!

Survivor Series 2012

The build is here.

Survivor Series 2012 is in Indianapolis

(Dark: Tyler Black d. Pac)

The open is taped footage from earlier in the evening, CM Punk is alone in the ring in the still empty arena – Steamboat enters the ring, from this we get two quick facts (1) Steamboat’s still trying to talk Punk out of wrestling tonight, he’s again unsuccessful and (2) Steamboat’s also trying to talk Punk out of another decision he’s made, also unsuccessful, that decision is not revealed to us.

The announce is Joey/JR/Heyman

Heyman is a surprise.  A running theme throughout the night is his continuing promise that Brock Lesnar will not show up. 

A theme in the opening three matches, all Underground matches, is Heyman’s attacking Regal as insufficiently running Underground and not the man to be placed in charge of the developmental center which has just broken ground and will be operational next year.

1.       Mistico d. Tyson Kidd

2.       PAUL d. Sheamus (w/Regal)

3.       Empire (Barrett/Gabriel) draw Douchebags (Sandow/Ryder)

Okay, all of these first three matches are Underground matches so let’s stick them together.

The opener is not a tag, but it was scheduled to be; Sandow refuses to come to the ring unless Douchebags are introduced last.  While negotiations go on, the Mistico/Kidd tag match is placed first.  Neither Cole nor Regal comes to the ring with Kidd as they’re both still dealing with the tag issue – and he gets beat in what, ideally, is a pretty good match.  Heyman blames the specific loss on Regal for not being there and more broadly blames Regal for allowing this situation between the tag teams to get so far out of hand. 

We see Regal, now in Empire’s locker room, yelling at Barrett to just go out first.  Barrett pushes back that this means Sandow got his way – Regal says he doesn’t have time to banter, just do what he says.

Sheamus has the better of PAUL, as you’d expect, Heyman notes that Regal is clearly distracted, not giving his full energy to securing this win for Sheamus – and out of nowhere, PAUL connects with a right hand on Sheamus’s chin, dropping him cold and gets the pinfall.

It’s the biggest singles win PAUL has had in years, Heyman, upon the punch yells out “Sheamus just got knocked the fuck out” – because he does what he wants.

On RAW tomorrow, PAUL will be wearing a KTFO t-shirt.  Merch!

Empire comes to the ring first in the next match, there’s a delay – and then the video wall shifts to a shot of Cole (who still hasn’t chosen between the two teams) shouting over the clearly broken body of Kidd, who, like Hawkins was in the build, has been attacked in such a manner that he will not be able to name his assailants. 

It’s then that Douchebags hit the ramp – Empire assumes this is payback for the Hawkins assault, Sandow shrugs his shoulders and, in subsequent weeks, he will assume the same posture of “if you want to say I did it – fine” confession that Barrett has taken about the Hawkins attack.

This match never gets in the ring and is thrown out – Barrett and Gabriel attack, Sandow and Ryder start out with a man advantage because they have Slater, and that advantage becomes two when Fandango Johnny Curtis (who fans who watch the developmental training at WWFU.com or via the WWF app would know, as Joey points out) joining Douchebags. 

That becomes Douchebags going forward – Sandow/Curtis/Ryder/Slater – they stand above Empire while Heyman shouts about Regal having totally lost control of his men.

4.       IC Tournament: Claudio Castagnoli (w/Steamboat) d. John Cena

5.       IC Tournament: Nick Nemeth d. The Miz

We hit the IC tournament matches.  JR sits out for these matches and Foley, as the tournament is his baby, joins Joey and Paul – that’s a three man combination that has a good deal of history to draw from, making for interesting discussion – the driving force of that discussion is Heyman critiquing Foley, he let his friend Rock leave the promotion with the IC belt in an unprecedented decision – and his commissionership is essentially being measured on the success of this tournament.

 Claudio goes over Cena; the Nemeth/Miz match is noteworthy as Regal doesn’t come to the ring; we’re told he went to the hospital with Kidd, so Nemeth, who, as we’ve noted, has been getting increased cheers over the year just given the nature of the style now comes to the ring without a heel manager and is up against Miz, who, as noted, has largely been acting as a heel and getting that increasing response.

I’d expect a wide, wide distance in cheering in this match and they don’t fight it – there’s a certain sweet spot to cheering for a heel, it doesn’t extend too far or the heel is then a face, but there’s a window of time where it feels exactly right for a crowd to cheer a heel; it rubs against authority, it expresses approval for a particular attitude, you can feel a sense of agency over your own fandom – it’s good; that’s this match, I think – I don’t know who cheers for Miz in this match but I probably don’t like them.

Postmatch, Claudio returns, he and Nemeth go nose to nose, Foley is pleased, this is a good matchup, it’s Underground v. GDI – the Rock’s music then plays; the Rock appears on the video wall in what is claimed to be a live shot, he’s holding the belt, he says he’ll be seeing either Claudio or Nemeth at the Rumble – and teases that he might be seeing them sooner than that.

6.       Tags: Defiance (Orton/Bernard) d. Young Money (Killings/Kingston)

This wraps Young Money; the match is relaxed rules, which is the stip promised to Kingston and it’s become a Foley hallmark for tag matches, that allows Rhodes to jump in and this becomes 3 on 2.  They crash through some tables, Bernard gets the fall – Killings takes Ortons punt, the Golden Goal postmatch, which, the next time we see him will have cured his amnesia and he’s once again just crazy guy Killings.

This is Orton’s 4 tag title with 4 different partners and Bernard is the first man to hold the IWGP, GHC, and WWF tag belts, they’re put over as all time tag specialists and Defiance is now on top of the tag world once again.

7.       Dos Caras, Jr. (w/Vicki and Ricardo) d. CM Punk

Punk comes to the ring alone, we’re reminded of the pre-show conversation with Steamboat – Punk’s chosen to do this by himself.

Here’s where Heyman can shift to putting over Brock, the story of this match is Punk’s really too hurt to work, the word “concussion” is used – a new element of Punk’s character becomes that guys sort of stop hitting him in the head.  Not entirely, but if there were a chair shot for example, it would clearly be on the back.  It’s not that he doesn’t take suplexes or get punched in the face – but it’s a thing that exists that isn't really talked about, that even his opponents don't take unprotected shots at his head. It's subtext. 

Dos Caras is smart, capable, and has two people on the outside who really take advantage of Steamboat not being there – and that’s enough to get him the biggest win of his career, a pinfall over 3 time WWF Champion Punk.

There’s a pretty good celebration in the ring – Heyman says Brock may have permanently ended Punk’s career as an elite wrestler. After Dos Caras exists with Punk still in the ring, the lights go out.

When they go back on - in the ring is a man in leather pants with a pink and black hood covering his face, he's standing above Punk, who clearly has been knocked out while the lights were out.  

He pulls off the hood - it's Jericho.  He picks up Punk by the hair and shoves Punk's head into his crotch, miming forcing Punk to blow him.  Lights off.  Lights back on - Jericho's gone.  

8.       WWF Title: Bryan Danielson (w/Steamboat) d. Rey Mysterio

-Most important thing here is it’s the best match they can have; it might be Mysterio’s last title shot; this hasn’t been a good workrate show particularly, most of the wrestling value really needs to come from this match. 

-Paul looks to put Danielson over, it’s a shift in tone from the rest of the show – Paul really valorizes all of Danielson’s decisions, concluding that’s why people call him the best wrestler in the world. 

-Midmatch, Dos Caras comes to ringside to cheer on Mysterio.  Postmatch, Dos Caras gets in the ring and as dismissively as he can, throws him over the top rope and to the floor.  Dos Caras and Danielson throw hands in mid ring as the show ends.  

The following night on RAW, we're given the main event for the Rumble - it's Danielson v. Dos Caras, Jr. for the strap.  And in the go home RAW before the Rumble, a Counterfactual First - a wrestling wedding, as Dos Caras and Vicki Guerrero become one.

I'll be back in December with the build for the Rumble as What If....hits its 8th anniversary.  

TNA Slammiversary 2013

Lockdown is here.

Slammiversary is the big event on the TNA calendar.  Here are the results.

TNA World Title: TLC Match: Jeff Hardy d. Chris Sabin

X Title: Submission Match: Samoa Joe d. Kurt Angle

Tags: Weapons Match: Chris Daniels/Frankie Kazarian d. Dudleys

Chavo Guerrero d. Bobby Roode

Austin Aries d. Ken Kennedy

Magnus d. Gunner

Jay Bradley d. Garrett Bischoff

TJ Perkins/Kenny King d. TexMex

So, there's some booking.  

At Final Resolution, Future Endeavors was formed, at Lockdown, they took all the belts.

The build here involved Future Endeavors, in a SCUM v ROH sort of way, threatening the very existence of TNA.  Hogan's going to lay all of the championship belts at the feet of Stephanie McMahon, next week, TNA might change it's name to XWWF, that sort of thing.  The group does whatever legacy burning things that make sense in order to communicate that Slammiversary, the biggest show of the year, is threatened.

The response then becomes how to fight them; the "TNA group" is split, there are the Horsemen, there's the Daniels/Kazarian and TexMex babyface tag teams, there's friendless heel Austin Aries.  How will they come together?  Should they come together?

Respected veteran Sting, forced to retire by the Horsemen, convenes a summit, tensions must be put aside for the sake of the promotion.  Everyone is dubious (Kazarian and Roode were once partners, for example) especially Aries, who is always dubious about everything.  

But they agree to come together - and it sets up a War Games.  Winners control the title matches, including stips, for Slammiversary.

For Future Endeavors, five former WWF belt holders (Jeff, Kurt, Duds, Chavo)

For TNA, 5 World Champions - Aries/Kazarian/Daniels/Horsemen

Aries is the last man to enter, but he's attacked in the back by Kennedy and never makes it out - TNA is allowed a replacement - it's Chris Sabin, in streetclothes, gone since being taken out by the Horsemen - he gets the submission win over Jeff.  

When the TNA guys get to pick the matches, they intentionally choose the specialties of the Future Endeavors guys. The debate comes in who gets the World Title shot - Aries obviously believes its his, it was his title, he got screwed, end of story.  But Sabin is the guy who got the win in the War Games; he's never been World Champ - and he gets the shot.

So, let's work up the card.

Missing from this discussion has been Tex Mex - they are attacked by Kenny King and the tag team partner he's been looking for since arriving, TJ Perkins - they're doing a cocky young guy gimmick and they don't care about whatever the broader issues are, they want to make a name so they go after the vets.  They cheat to win in the opener.

Jay Bradley is just a body, but he beats Garrett, designated job guy; Magnus is cocky English heel, and he beats Gunner, just a guy.  

Aries gets his revenge over Kennedy; Roode and Chavo established a feud in that WAR Games match, Chavo cheats to win here; Daniels/Kazarian win the bloody brawl with the Dudleys, their first tag titles as a team - Knox attempts to interfere for the Duds, but is wiped out by Roode, showing the Horsemen can be team players.  

Joe wins his first ever X title, Hogan attempts to interfere, but Sting stops him with whatever physicality Hogan can take.  

There's a full intersquad brawl during the TLC match; everyone is kicked from ringside; the finish comes when Sabin is climbing to the top, seemingly about to win, but then is pushed off by a running in AJ Styles, making his return.

Jeff climbs up and keeps.  Why, AJ, Why?  

TNA returns with Bound For Glory when/if we hit real world Final Resolution.  

Survivor Series is next month.  

Road to Survivor Series 2012

Summer Slam is here.

Survivor Series is in November from Indianapolis.

Let’s go from the bottom of the card up.

8. Number One Contender Match: Empire (Barrett/Gabriel) v. Douchebags (Sandow/Ryder)

The crumbling of Underground continues. This program is incited by the return of Barrett, out almost the entirety of 2012. He gets a couple of vignettes to build his return (he’s tougher, meaner, you know how that goes.  Plus, he promises that upon his return, he’s going to make a big impact).  He’s going to wrestle in a trios with Gabriel and Kidd in his first match, but previously that evening a member of Douchebags (Hawkins, writing him out) is found half dead in a dark room in the back.

Sandow immediately blames Barrett, this is his big impact – and after Empire gets a win over whomever (Colons and someone, probably) Douchebags hit the ring (Ryder/Slater are who is left with the group) Sandow and Barrett going nose to nose.  Michael Cole, affiliated with both groups, unable to break up the brawl.

The stakes for the match – winner goes to the Rumble to take on the champs.    Barrett neither confirms nor denies the attack on Hawkins, leading, obviously, everyone to assume (as is his intent) his guilt. 

7. Mistico v. Tyson Kidd

While we’re discussing Kidd – he has a match also, building from the Summer Slam run in.  Kidd wasn’t Empire, recall, but he’s proved himself over recent months and Barrett fully accepts him upon his return.  This is mainly for the workrate and will be referenced further up the card.

6. Sheamus v. PAUL

Sheamus beats someone and then cuts a “I’m the toughest man in the WWF” promo which draws PAUL from the back.  He says he can’t come off the top rope anymore, but like Kane found out at Summer Slam, if he lands one punch on the chin he can beat anyone in the sport.  Sheamus laughs, PAULs fat and washed up – Paul palms his face and sends Sheamus across the ring.

5. Claudio Castagnoli v. John Cena

4. Nick Nemeth v. The Miz

We reach the IC tournament. This will be treated as if all four men are building matches against each other; there’s a little bit of emphasis to the specific opponent, but since it’s a tournament; we can have tag matches in all the various configurations to help build animosity among all four guys, as none have any affiliation with any other

The stories for all four – Nemeth is easiest to see, he’s looking for the Triple Crown and immortality.  Cena’s looking for his first singles title (and he doesn’t like factions, particularly GDI – everyone else is in a group, albeit Miz’s group is currently small).  Cena can cut promos about his faction being the WWF, his stable is the fans, he won’t come to the ring with a manager but he might bring his light tubes. 

Miz, still turning heel if not now a full heel and Claudio, happy go lucky to the end, are looking for their first ever WWF belts (Miz, obviously, his first belt of any type, anywhere). 

All 4 men appear, with Foley, on the only episode of Heyman Hustle in this build – Heyman establishes that Foley is really resting the success of his Commissionership on the outcome of this tournament, and then looks to get in digs at each of the four guys (his seeming lack of interest in Underground always gets under Regal’s skin; he  asks Claudio what it’s like to get Danielson’s dry cleaning, he talks about all the tag titles Orton has won since teaming with Cena and contrasts that with Cena having won none, and he ignores Miz entirely). 

There’s also a 3 way on the go home show that will be referenced later that Claudio is a part of, he’ll be taken out of that match by Nemeth – who will then be laid out by Cena – who then gets laid out by Miz – Miz stands tall, making the sign for the belt, as we go to the event.

3. Tags: Young Money (Kingston/Killings) v. Defiance (Orton/Bernard)

Yes, that’s Giant Bernard.

Defiance adds a third member in this stretch; there’s a few weeks building to a number one contenders match between Defiance and a returning DiBiase/McIntyre – Hooligans and Defiance coming together, Ted taking on his former partner.

Defiance wins, Orton pinning Ted with the RKO – and postmatch Bernard makes his WWF return, cleans house, and joins Defiance (recall at WWF 100, Bernard was part of the wrestlers in attendance and did not get the treatment his New Japan success would seemingly have earned him).  Bernard says he hasn’t been Albert in years – he’s Giant Bernard, he’s been half of one of the greatest tag teams in Japan, and now he’s one third of the greatest tag team in WWF.  

And your matches at the top of the card.

2. CM Punk v. Dos Caras, Jr.

1. WWF Title: Bryan Danielson v. Rey Mysterio

These matches work together.  Danielson’s announcement of his SSeries opponent is the conclusion of RAW the night after SSlam – he says he’s the best wrestler in the world and he wants to defend the WWF Title against one of the best wrestlers of all time – and he calls for Rey.

Danielson tells Rey it will be an honor to test himself against a man of his historic significance with the WWF title on the line. 

The next week, the match gets raised by an unlikely source, Caras.  He’s asked by Josh in the back about something pertaining to whomever he’s wrestling that night, and he doesn’t want to talk about that – instead, he says he was disgusted by the way Danielson treated Mysterio – Rey Mysterio is a hero to the Hispanic people and Danielson treated him like a fossil – Dos Caras says Mysterio isn’t a charity case, he can’t believe that Danielson expressed such contempt for a hero. 

The announce is a little baffled. 

A week later, the whole Dos Caras crew comes to the ring to introduce the Mysterio tribute video that will serve as backdrop for the build – it’s all the title wins, ending with Mysterio’s victory over Danielson at the Rumble. 

Two and a half weeks later, the main for Fight Night is Rey v. Pac, which is sort of a thing – Steamboat is particularly animated during the match – and eventually Caras comes to ringside.

Rey has been working on submission holds in preparation to face Danielson, and the match ends with his putting Pac in a hold – Steamboat is close to the ropes and reaches out his hand to point to it – as if to say “grab the rope” – but it’s close enough that when Dos Caras knocks his arm down and then claims that what Steamboat was trying to do was push the rope to Pac – it doesn’t seem ridiculous.

Pac submits. 

On RAW we get a Vicki/Rey backstage piece, Vicki tells Rey that she can trust Dos Caras, that he’s misunderstood, that she’s happy and that Eddy would have wanted them to be friends.

We are not supposed to believe any of this.

It’s not like it’s crazy – but neither should it appear to most fans like a face turn; the announcers don’t believe it but sometimes they doubt their disbelief. 

Dos Caras/Rey/Mistico win a three way over Empire (there’s enough Kidd/Mistico interaction to get you excited about their PPV match).

Rey pins Barrett.

And the go home is Dos Caras/Rey/Mistico against Danielson/Claudio/Pac.  That’s the match where Claudio gets taken out in the IC tournament angle – and down 3 to 2, Danielson gets pinned.

He’s pinned by Dos Caras, who steals it from Rey – not overtly, Rey hits the 619 but then can’t follow up because Pac makes the save, but Dos Caras is there to finish Danielson off. 

Punk?

In the midst of all of this is the speculation about Punk’s return. It’s less speculation than it is relief that he doesn’t appear to have career threatening injuries.  He almost certainly will return for Wrestlemania. 

There’s a taped piece with Danielson/Steamboat, it’s quiet, Danielson asks “how’s he doing” – Steamboat says “he won’t take my calls” – there’s a beat, Steamboat says “you know this is gonna happen, right?” 

Danielson’s response, designed to seem as if he’s kidding, mostly, “just leave the towel at home, Rick.”

That gets us to a Raw where Punk is promoted to return – “to confront Ricky Steamboat”

Punk, in streetclothes, fuming, as if he’s just been stewing in his own juice since Summer Slam, comes to the ring and calls out Steamboat.  Steamboat and Danielson come to the ring together.  Punk is just hot – he gets right in Danielson’s face and the two are nose to nose for just as beat before Steamboat quietly says “Punk, go home.  Come back in January.”

Punk wheels on Steamboat says he has one question – one question that keeps him up at night – why?  Why did Steamboat give up on him – why did he throw in that towel?

Steamboat says Punk is the most stubborn man he’s ever met, and he’s met the Dynamite Kid – Steamboat says it was one fight, and Punk would rather Lesnar broke his arm off than just admit that he had lost.  “Why did I stop the fight?  Because it was over. You just didn’t know it yet.”

Punk says Steamboat’s full of shit; that he never believed in him the way he believed in Danielson.  Punk turns to Danielson, says he is sick to death of him walking around like he’s better than everyone.

Danielson says that, of all people, for Punk to say that someone else is too confident is the dumbest thing he’s ever heard.  Punk balls a fist – Danielson shakes his head “Jesus man – it’s just one fight.  You have 3 WWF Titles, let it go.  Look – you want to go, fine – we’ll go – but not now, man, just go home.”

Punk says he just has one more question – he turns back to Steamboat but points at Danielson.

“If it was him – if he was the one in that hold – would you have thrown in the towel?”

There’s a beat – but then no answer as Dos Caras’s music hits to interrupt. He stays on the ramp.

Dos Caras says Punk shouldn’t go home – Punk should get back to training, training to face him at Survivor Series.

Dos Caras says that anti Hispanic bigot Danielson will lose to a great hero, Rey Mysterio – and his sidekick Punk will lose to, maybe one day, a hero, Dos Caras. 

Steamboat is quick to step in – calls Dos Caras trash, says Punk is in no condition to fight.

And that, of course, causes Punk to accept.

For a couple of weeks there’s a little “they’re not going to let this happen, right” chatter – leading to a 

Foley/Punk confrontation.  Foley tells Punk he isn’t going to let him wrestle – Punk calls Foley a hypocrite, and details the litany of things Foley did to his body.  Punk says no one stopped Foley.  That allows for the full Foley promo, the full on classic, screaming Foley promo “maybe somebody should have” – Foley talks about how he can’t climb stairs and sometimes it takes him a second to remember his children’s names – “do you know what hurts – falling off a cage doesn’t hurt – having to say “little buddy” while you desperately try to remember your son’s name – that’s what pain is”

The result, however, winds up being that Foley relents – he isn’t Punk’s father, he isn’t responsible for Punk’s choices – if he wants to get in that ring at Survivor Series, he does so at his own risk.

There’s a makeup scene with all of GDI (not Punk at the outset) on the go home RAW prior to the event (the aforementioned 6 man is at the end of the week on Fight Night, so that's the real go home scene) with the whole crew in the ring, Hero is the guy in charge of fiery GDI speeches now, he’s exhorting everyone to stand behind Claudio as he advances in the IC Tournament – behind Danielson as he keeps his WWF Title – and behind their friend Punk as he beats Dos Caras – the full crew claps for the missing Punk – and then he enters – Punk shakes hands with Steamboat – shakes hands with Danielson – all of GDI is together as RAW ends. 

And that’s the build.

WWF Title Bryan Danielson (w/Steamboat) v. Rey Mysterio

CM Punk  v. Dos Caras, Jr. (w/Vicki and Ricardo)

Tags: Young Money v. Defiance

IC Tournament: Nick Nemeth (w/Regal) v. The Miz

                             Claudio Castagnoli (w/Steamboat) v. John Cena

Sheamus (w/Regal) v. PAUL

Mistico v. Tyson Kidd (w/Cole)

Number One Contender: Empire v. Douchebags

The next TNA show is in October.  Wish me luck.  And Survivor Series in November.

Summer Slam 2012

The build is here.

Summer Slam 2012 – Los Angeles

(Dark: Pac d. Black

Kidd d. Mistico)

Joey/JR is the announce.  Foley joins them during the IC Tournament matches.

1.       Dos Caras, Jr. (w/Ricardo and Vicki) d. HHH-M (w/Stephanie)

This is a definitive submission win; playing off Stephanie allows Vicki to emerge more fully into her real world gimmick in the build (I essentially like Vicki, she draws heat and I like her as part of this act) Ricardo takes a bump in every Dos Caras match. This should feel like an ending, both of the Dos Caras “my family is better than your family” gimmick and on Hunter’s career, as the booking sheet always goes a year in advance, and he is currently not on it. It’s not an official retirement, ‘cause you never know, but he and the Princess leave the ring arm in arm postmatch and the sense should be you might not see them again in this capacity. 

Intercontinental Tournament

Prior to the first match is a taped piece from the pre-event press conference; Foley and 7 of the 8 competitors (Jericho no-shows) getting photographed, a videotape from the Rock, from his Hollywood Hills home, saying he'll proudly return at the Rumble to meet the winner, that kind of thing. A reporter asks Foley the question that has come up multiple times in the build – if his allowing the Rock to leave for so many months with the IC belt is due to their pre-existing relationship.  Foley says he’ll stake his Commissionership on the tournament, that once the Rumble is over, if it hasn’t been worth it, he’ll be the first one to admit it. That doesn't end the chatter about the wisdom of not just stripping the Rock, but it becomes the conclusion of each of those discussions - we'll evaluate when the Rumble is over.  

2.       The Miz d. Santino

3.       John Cena d. Titus O’ Neil (w/Young)

Two fairly quick matches to open the IC Tournament; Miz continues his turn by doing something no one ever does with Santino, he attacks him while he is still on the ramp, still in his super timid persona. So, you're allowed to either see Miz as he sees himself (smart, so smart, look how smart) or as a smarmy guy attacking someone super weak.  Miz finishes Santino off pretty readily; Cena similarly has little trouble with O’Neil (eventually, I see Santino joining TPPTPPP for the house show comedy).  Both men will return when their next round opponents win.

Before those next two IC matches, a very special episode of the Heyman Hustle.

Paul says he has no guest tonight, that his only guest is the 5800 dollars he has in his wallet and the fraction 5/8.  There is 5/8 of the card remaining tonight and Paul wants to make a very serious offer to those who brought children to the event, or to pregnant women, or anyone with a sensitive stomach – for those who want to leave right now, Paul will personally provide a pro-rated refund, 5/8 of the face value of their ticket up to a total of 5800 dollars. They need to leave right now, just get up and head to the box office, and no one will think less of them for it.  It's not the brave choice, but discretion is the better part of valor.

Why?

Because tonight a terrible, terrible beating will be inflicted upon CM Punk – by Brock Lesnar. A beating unseen by most in attendance tonight, a beating they are not prepared for in a normal night of family friendly fun.  

Paul does another 20 seconds or so describing that beating when he’s interrupted by Ricky Steamboat, who emerges on the ramp (he stays there).

Steamboat says CM Punk has won the WWF Title more often than Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley, and Ricky Steamboat – and a man like that doesn’t just lay down and roll over, even for Brock Lesnar, and there are 18,000 fans here tonight who are all waiting to see Punk give everything he has (note, he doesn’t say Punk’s going to win)

Paul responds – Rick, tell Danielson that Brock Lesnar is still going to knock on his door; that tonight is just an appetizer.

That brings out Regal (also stays on the ramp). Regal says when Sheamus wins the WWF Title tonight, bringing it back Underground, Brock Lesnar won’t need to knock, Sheamus will be knocking – 

Underground doesn’t cower in fear, Underground is who knocks in the WWF.

And then, without music, Jericho stumbles down the ramp.  His suit is in tatters, he stumbles to one side of the aisle, puts his back into the crowd and mumbles “come on baby.” More than 15 years ago now I had an email exchange with Jericho where I said his entrance looked like an invitation for the fans to rub his nipples.  He thought that was funny.  

4.       Claudio Castagnoli (w/Steamboat) d. Chris Jericho

This wraps this version of Jericho, by the end of the match, his suit is entirely torn from his body, strewn in tatters throughout the ring. He stumbles into all of his old spots, which he hits for the last time (at least for the foreseeable future) it’s Jericho greatest hits by a homeless man. 

Claudio is dancing, giant swinging, happy warrior Euro Claudio, hitting his uppercuts from multiple angles, demonstrating the varied moveset and finishing Jericho off with the Ricola Bomb.  If Jericho could turn into a pile of dust and disappear, that’s the feeling that should be left. It's as good a match as they can have given those parameters and a decided, thorough, whipping by Claudio.  

Cena enters following the match, he and Claudio will be matched up at Survivor Series and they go nose to nose. 

5.       Nick Nemeth (w/Regal) d.  Rey Mysterio

This is a screwjob; Regal interferes, even during the finish, and at some point during the match Tyson Kidd runs in for an unseen highspot.  The announce notes that Underground might similarly be able to steal the WWF Title later tonight. Rey gets most of the match; Nemeth/Rey have essentially been portrayed as 50/50 in each of their matches, in this one it's more 75/25 Mysterio with the outside interference portrayed as allowing Nemeth to steal one.  

The Miz enters postmatch and they replicate the spot we saw following the prior match.

6.       WWF Tag Titles: Young Money d. DMW

The rules, recall, are relaxed in all Young Money matches, allowing Kingston to do one ridiculous dive and Killings to use foreign objects.  This becomes a tornado match and ends with Kingston pinning Kane.

PAUL, recall, who had been upset with his current station as part of the build, aids Kane in getting off the mat, and then punches him right on the chin, dropping him cold to the canvas. PAUL walks away, disgusted, angry, breathing fire.  

7.       No Disqualification: Brock Lesnar (w/Heyman) d. CM Punk (w/Steamboat)

Here’s why you bought the show; it’s Brock’s post UFC return to a WWF ring. Heyman, very deliberately, folds his arms and leans against the announce table - throughout the match he never moves - doesn't express concern, just stares, arms folded, smiling the entire time at Punk.

The template for this match is real world Brock/Cena – it’s a stiff sprint, super physical, dominated by Lesnar, but the finish is Brock getting an armhold on Punk, the one that just broke Hero’s arm, and when, after just one beat, Punk doesn’t submit, Steamboat throws in the towel.

You didn’t think the towel had just been sitting there all year just for hell of it.  I thought about calling this a Chekov’s Gun Match.

The announce quickly signs off on Steamboat’s decision – Punk had taken a pretty good beating but he is exactly the guy who might just let Brock break his arm before submitting, Steamboat was protecting his guy.

Do you think Punk will feel similarly?

The rest of GDI hits the ring fast to aid Punk, who is incapacitated, Steamboat breaks away from the group to vigorously talk to Foley at ringside – the result of that conversation, as we’ll see prior to the start of the main event, is that Regal is banned from ringside for the title match.

Paul and Brock soak in whatever the postmatch reaction is - the announce puts Brock over hard, just as they've been doing since his return - without beign said, the feeling about Brock should be the feeling the public had when he first made his real world return - he won a legit fighting title, he's a shoot badass; and when he breaks Hero's arm and then beats Punk nearly to death - it further demonstrates that; he is an unstoppable beast.  And he belongs to Paul Heyman.  

8.       WWF Title: Bryan Danielson d. Sheamus

As mentioned, Regal is removed (and Steamboat doesn’t return, he’s with Punk)– and so when the run in spot, presumably planned, is attempted, it’s a cluster.  Douchebags (led by Sandow) hit the ramp at the same time as Gabriel/Kidd.  Cole attempts to mediate – he is managing both groups; Kidd stands decidedly with Gabriel, before they can organize we get the Mania spot replicated – Pac coming off the top of the video wall to crash into the group.  No one interferes in the match; it’s long, the best match they can have, Danielson overcoming the size disparity and getting the pinfall to keep his belt.

Danielson stands alone in the ring, holding his belt aloft, as the show ends.  No GDI, they left with Punk, no Underground, they got wiped out by Pac - not even Steamboat - just Bryan Danielson holding the WWF Championship in the air as the show ends.

The build for Survivor Series (main event spoiler alert - Danielson v. Rey) is in September; the next TNA show (tick....tick....tick...) is October, and then Survivor Series, obviously, in November.  See you then.  

The build.

Road to Summer Slam 2012 Part 3

The Battle Royal is here.

3 weeks pass from the dramatic return to a WWF ring of Brock Lesnar after almost a decade away, Summer Slam remains in chaos.  CM Punk is said to have a hip injury; he hasn’t been seen since the battle royal and no one has any idea if he’ll be in the condition to take on Bryan Danielson for the WWF Title.

Paul Heyman has remained a color analyst since the Battle Royal, completely no selling the constant questions from Joey on RAW and JR on Fight Night about Lesnar – they ask if he ordered the hit on Punk, is Lesnar coming back to professional wrestling, and Paul acts as if he didn’t hear the question.  They talk Lesnar – Paul wants to talk about Young Money defending the tag titles against Dead Men Walking.

But Paul will have more to say as they build to the next Heyman Hustle, with the special guest – Bryan Danielson.

It’s the RAW main event, 3 ½ weeks after the Battle Royal.  Steamboat comes to the ring with Danielson; he’s wearing the white towel over his shoulder.  Heyman introduces himself to the Champ; tells him they know some of the same people.  Tells him that he would get phone calls and texts for years – Paul, Bryan Danielson just had a 5 star match with Kenta, Paul, Bryan Danielson just had a 5 star match with Nigel; Paul, Bryan Danielson just had a 5 star match with Morishima. 

Paul – Bryan Danielson is the best wrestler in the world.

And I’d only have one response.

Brock Lesnar.

Heyman moves closer. 

But that’s fantasy booking, which is only for the lonely and depraved – Who would win – Bret Hart or Kurt Angle, Who would win – Ricky Steamboat or Rey Mysterio – Who would win – Bryan Danielson or Brock Lesnar?

Now Paul moves as close as he can get.  He’s almost whispering.

But, Bryan. 

Brock Lesnar isn’t a fantasy. 

He’s real.

And he’s here.

For you.

Hit Brock’s music – Brock comes to the ring, he makes sure to stand next to Steamboat for a moment to demonstrate the old man’s comparative fragility.

Then he goes nose to nose (nose to chest) with Danielson – we get a beat just for the start of the reaction – and then Punk’s music hits.

Punk’s hobbling on a crutch, he’s whitehot anger, he enters and stands behind Danielson (he and Lesnar haven’t moved).  For the lip readers, Punk tells Danielson to get the fuck out of his way.

Danielson looks at Punk hard for just a second and then takes a step away.

Punk says he’s spoken with Foley, he’s officially given up his title shot, at Summer Slam, in a No Disqualification match – he wants Brock Lesnar

Lesnar’s smirk turns to a laugh – Heyman tells Punk their business is concluded, Punk doesn’t have, and more importantly, doesn’t want, an issue with Brock Lesnar.  Brock Lesnar is here for only one man, the WWF Champion.  Brock Lesnar doesn’t know your name.

Pause.

Punk hits Lesnar over the head with his crutch.

You know my name now?

Lesnar double legs him, they roll on the mat until separated.  Notably, Steamboat won’t allow Danielson to get involved, guiding him away from the ring.

Punk v. Lesnar – Summer Slam 2012.

A few beats to hit – the talk is largely ominous regarding what will happen to Punk; Joey thinks Punk can win, JR does not – Paul thinks it’s a dumb debate; people aren’t going to buy Summer Slam to see who wins, they’ll buy Summer Slam to see Punk die in the ring.   Brock does that same taped promo he did before the Cena fight (that’s language I’d like to use – Paul doesn’t talk about Brock as having matches, they’re fights) Brock essentially saying (without saying) that he’s not some bullshit pro wrestler, that he’s a fighter, and there’s no one in the promotion that compares.

Punk and Steamboat have a taped piece – it’s the “he’ll knock you til tomorrow Rock” scene from Rocky III, with Steamboat, pushed into it by Punk, telling him that he can’t win.  Punk asks if he’d say the same thing to Danielson and Steamboat refuses to answer.

One more – Brock makes one appearance in a WWF ring; there’s a Black/Hero singles match on Fight Night – it’s a non finish because Brock enters and breaks Hero’s arm.

That means we need two changes in the IC tournament – because Hero has to drop out, and so does Sheamus, because he’ll be wrestling Danielson for the title.

That’s an uncomplicated build; Sheamus was a long running IC champ and now challenges for the title; it’s something that we do (MVP, for example).  Sheamus and Regal appear on the Heyman Hustle late in the build, just to make sure it’s understood that, despite their history (Regal, for those of you who are new, was Angle’s enforcer in Team Angle – Brock was Angle’s first protégée) Brock isn’t aligning with the other heels.  Sheamus suggests that after he wins the WWF title he’d love to defend against Lesnar, Paul shuts him down completely – Brock Lesnar isn’t here to chase the belt; that’s for normal men – Paul doesn’t want to disparage anyone, he says he spent most of his life in this sport chasing belts, he managed Steve Austin, he managed Mick Foley – those were men who chased belts – Brock Lesnar has nothing to do with any of those men; he isn’t a professional wrestler here to win and lose matches.  Brock Lesnar is here for one man – Bryan Danielson – and in the interim, he’s going to cripple CM Punk.

That allows for some Regal/Heyman back and forth – Regal’s built the greatest wrestling developmental system ever created – a neverending pipeline of champions that ensure him something Paul never had – a future, sustainable control, longterm guarantee of control over the sport.  Regal’s a boss – and Paul is just another failed wrestling promoter. The end of that segment allows the only show of Underground solidarity all summer; recall the dissension demonstrated at the Battle Royal - multiple factions have developed, The Shield, Douchebags, and Empire (really, that's Gabriel and Hart, managed by Cole who is also still with Douchebags, and Hart isn't in Empire).  The full crew appears together, surrounding Heyman, to do the "Whose House" bit - Regal demonstrating to the interloper whose yard this is.  

Sheamus gets a tag pinfall over Danielson at the go home Fight Night to build the match.

The tag match was set at the Battle Royal – it’s DMW challenging Young Money; PAUL, recall, didn’t get a slot at the Battle Royal, and coming off DMW not being booked at Mania he’s vocally disgruntled – Young Money, recall, gets to wrestle with Extreme Rules in all of their matches, Foley’s promise to Kingston to get him to reteam with amnesia victim Killings. 

Dos Caras/HHH was set up at Mania – it’s the end of Dos Caras’s run through wrestling families; there’s a Vicki/Stephanie dynamic – it will open the show.

Leaving us just the 8 man IC tournament

Rey Mysterio d. Nick Nemeth

Chris Jericho v. Claudio Castagnoli

John Cena v. Titus O’Neill

The Miz v. Santino

Nemeth/Rey was a terrific program in the year prior to Nemeth winning the belt; here – Nemeth says he’s driving for the Triple Crown; and while beating Mysterio once was the biggest moment of his life, bigger even than winning the WWF Title – now, Rey’s just a stepping stone.

Jericho was nearly catatonic in the Battle Royal and that continues the rest of the summer – he continues to appear as if he hasn’t taken off the suit since Mania, he randomly mumbles Come On Baby.

O’Neill does the comedy gimmick TPPTPTP. 

Miz continues to act heelish.

That's what we've got.

WWF Title: Bryan Danielson (w/Ricky Steamboat) v. Sheamus (w/Steve Regal)
No Disqualification: CM Punk (w/Ricky Steamboat) v. Brock Lesnar (w/Paul Heyman)
Tags: Extreme Rules: Young Money (@TruthKills/Ka$h Kingston) v. DMW (PAUL/Kane)
IC Tournament: Rey Mysterio v. Dolph Ziggler (w/Steve Regal)
IC Tournament: Chris Jericho v. Claudio Castagnoli (w/Ricky Steamboat)
IC Tournament: John Cena v. Titus O'Neill
IC Tournament: The Miz v. Santino
HHH-M (w/Stepahnie) v. Dos Caras, Jr. (w/Vicki and Ricardo)

It's coming at the top of August - Summer Slam 2012..  It's going to be a happening!

TNA Lockdown 2013

Final Resolution 2012 was here.

Lockdown 2013

TNA Title: Jeff Hardy (w/Future Endeavors) d. Austin Aries
X Title: Kurt Angle d. Bobby Roode
Tags: Dudleys (w/Future Endeavors) d. Daniels/Kazarian
Samoa Joe d. Wes Brisco (w/Future Endeavors)
Ken Kennedy (w/FE) d. Joseph Park
Chavo Guerrero (w/FE) d. Eric Young
Kenny King d. Joey Ryan
Future Endeavors (Gallows/Knox) d. Tex Mex

At Final Resolution, the masked tag group of Aces&Eights morphed into Future Endeavors, which had been a Kennedy/Burke low card tag act but now is the WWF castoffs. 

The Horsemen are not ones to shrink from conflict, despite being massively outnumbered, and they're able to successfully jump and savagely beat down both Burke and RVD in the build.  That's going to cost them Williams, who gets similarly attacked.

There is no unified force coming into Lockdown in opposition to FE - the Horsemen had positioned themselves in opposition to the entire company; Aries had no allies at all; the announce notes that FE has numbers and could really show their force at Lockdown. 

The ex-WWF'er who didn't join FE was Angle; he's defiant about it in the build - he's at his point in his career where he walks alone; he's been part of a group - he led a future WWF Champion, a future UFC Champion, and the man who completely changed how professional wrestlers are trained in the US. 

Bubba and Jeff are sympathetic - he's Kurt Angle, one of the greatest wrestlers who ever lived, and not to be in charge is a lot to take - they understand - but at Lockdown, he'll either be with them or against them.

Lockdown's the night you expect - Gallows/Knox go over the former champs Tex Mex in the opener, as Storm/Hernandez are attacked by the larger group even before they get to the ring, that helps the young team get the upset win. 

King and Ryan is the only match not implicated by the broader program - King goes over. 

EY comes back in the build as a TNA veteran here to stick up for the company; FE doesn't interfere, Chavo wins and then FE beats down EY postmatch.  The last time we saw Abyss he was starting to behave erratically; that behavior increased until we got to the creation of FE, the anxiety over which drives Abyss into a fugue state; the angle isn't that anyone else thinks Park and Abyss are different people - we recognize that Park can't handle this FE assault and so he's become a different person.

Kennedy goes over clean, Park gets beaten down.

Joe's by himself since Roode has the title match to prep for, he overcomes outside interference and gets the win - then gets beaten down. 

The Dudleys are outmatched when it's 2:2, but outside interference keeps their straps - Daniels and Kazarian get beaten down.

Bobby Roode's been X Champ well over a year, it's the longest reign in the history of that belt, Angle says he's fighting by himself - it's a long match, the storyline being that Angle's miles now make Roode the better man, and he's just barely surviving when FE comes down to the ring - they save him once, they distract the official and hit Roode once, Chavo is holding up a shirt - the idea is Angle has to agree to join and FE will help - what will win out, Angle's pride or his desire to hold gold, maybe for the last time?

It's the gold - there's a ref bump, Angle takes the shirt - Dudleys hit 3D on Roode, Angle covers as the official regains composure and counts the fall.

Angle's joined FE.

And now it feels like everyone in the world behind Jeff Hardy.

Neither Hardy has ever won a singles belt, which eventually drove Matt nuts and now has driven Jeff to his first ever heel turn - Aries is better but just can't stand up to the numbers.  Jeff gets the call - FE holds all the belts - and all seems lost in TNA.

TNA returns for Slammiversary during real world...Bound for Glory?  Right?

And I'm back in July to wrap up the road to Summer Slam 2012. 

Battle Royal 12: Road to Summer Slam 2012-2

Part 1 is here.

Battle Royal time – stip reminder; winner is the number one contender; last 8 eliminated go into the IC tournament; whomever eliminates first member of Young Money gets the tag title shot.

No one has ever won twice. 

Place your bets.

1.      Tyson Kidd (w/Michael Cole)

2.      PAC

At Mania, Kidd was paired with Gabriel and given Cole as a mouthpiece (Gabriel was the only Empire member left standing).  Reasonable that Cole, after a year with Douchebags, might start to feel his oats a little bit, given his success (and, except for Nemeth) Regal’s lack thereof at Mania.  As Underground starts to disperse over the summer, part of that is Cole taking shots at Empire, Kidd goes along with them – Gabriel largely says nothing. 

PAC, in a mask, debuted in a spot at Mania as GDI’s latest member.  I’m likely to be willing to change his name if he ever works real world, but I don’t like their current choice.  Largely, announce calls him The Man Gravity Forgot, giving room for a name change. 

You’d like 2 minutes of Kidd/Pac, right?

3.      Mistico

This is a surprise entrant; Mistico isn’t on the roster; he lost to Nemeth a year ago in a title match, got beaten down by Underground and went back to Mexico – this return shows how much everyone in the world wants to be in the battle royal with so many title implications.  They get to do spots for two minutes. 

4.      Tyler Black

As mentioned at Mania, Black and Ambrose emerge afterward as the full blown Shield.  The gear, the promos, they don’t attack Underground, it’s not that Underground, prior to right now, has turned on each other at all, there’s just tension and increasing distance.  Shield does their “we fight injustice” rap – which Regal doesn’t understand at all – Black and Kidd don’t work together here, but neither do they work against each other.  Everything should stay fast paced. 

5.      Yoshi Tatsu

Tatsu comes in instantly on PAC’s side, the two of them trying to eliminate Kidd and Mistico and Black battle.  I'm valuing quickness here above all in this stage. 

6.      Kofi Kingston

Kingston and Killings retook at Mania; Killings is still amnesiac crazy person; he tweets based on events from 2011 (wears a black armband for tsunami victims, talks about Super 8).  The ring swarms on Kingston, everyone wants the tag title shot – Kingston has to do some running around, get to the top, duck out of the way to miss a Black kick that instead catches Kidd – its designed to show everyone wants the tag title and to get Kingston a specific spot.  Look how he avoids everyone! The early speed of the first entrants, besides being unlike a normal battle royal, sets up Kingston doing this "nobody can catch Kofi Kingston" spot. Black and Kidd do some shoving as this stage of the battle royal ends and everything slows down. 

7.      Darren Young

The Prime Time Players (TPTP) emerge after Mania doing their act.  Did you see Hollywood Shuffle?  It’s a sendup of African-American entertainment tropes – I’d like to do that here, one promo O’Neill can be the wise black man with vaguely mystical powers – the next, Young can be the powerful hip hop mogul with a secret.  I mean, I don’t want them in the ring much, so they can do comedy when I have to use them.  They start calling themselves Tyler Perry Presents The Prime Time Players (TPPTPTP). Yes, it's just for that joke, yes.  And that joke's enough that I'll keep them in the background with Santino even when I don't need to use them.

8.      Damien Sandow

Sure are a lot of people in the ring.  Sandow has been in developmental, part of the next wave of Underground ready to hit WWF.  He does his smarter than you gimmick and becomes the new leader of the Douchebags.

9.      Kane

Kane and not PAUL is the member of DMW invited to compete – this has pissed PAUL off and its been part of the build.  DMW didn’t get a Mania slot, that’s pissed PAUL off and its been part of this build.  (30 Kingston, by Kane).  Kane gets the title shot for DMW by taking out Kofi, so that element of the battle royal ends here. 

10.  Heath Slater

Sandow shows his Douchebags leadership by directing Slater; they battle Kane.  Tatsu battles Young.  Mistico battles Kidd and PAC battles Black. 

11.  Cody Rhodes

-Defiance dropped to Young Money at Mania; they talked openly about how their rematch shouldn’t be up for grabs in this event, feeling victimized in the way Defiance does – and now that Kingston has already been eliminated Cody is clearly heated as he gets into the ring and starts lighting into Douchebags and Kane. 

12.  Sheamus(w/Regal)

11 guys in the ring is too many; you’ll note Underground is half the ring – so when Regal hits ringside he claps his hands and the unit comes together. 

(29 – Tatsu, by Underground)

(28 – Young, by Underground)

(27 – Rhodes, by Underground)

13.  Justin Gabriel

Gabriel means 6 members of Underground out of 9 total in the ring. 

(26 – Kane, by Underground)

 Pac and Mistico now fight for their lives; announce notes that Pac and Kidd are approaching half an hour.  Announce notes that Underground is still unstoppable when they are tight, and no one can keep a squad together like Regal.

14.  Primo Colon

15.  @TruthKills

Colon and Killings go aggressive as soon as they hit the ring, just trying to punch their way out of the swarm of guys who are upon them.  Mistico and Pac hit a double team maneuver on Black and have him ready to go – Kidd, at Regal’s order, goes to aid Black.  Douchebags have Colon ready to go.

16.  Dean Ambrose

He hits the ring with Cole, on the outside, directing him to aid Douchebags, who are on the entry side of the ring, in taking out Colon – Ambrose ignores him and goes to the opposite side of the ring to aid Black, clearly walking right past Douchebags without paying them any mind a all. 

(25 – Mistico, by Shield/Kidd)

While on the other side of the ring

(24 – Slater, by Colon/Killings)

(23-Colon, by Sandow/Sheamus – Sheamus noticed Ambrose didn’t help, saw the result, and came in to aid Sandow)

(22-Killings, by Sandow/Sheamus)

Simultaneously…

(21 – Kidd, by Shield – and when Gabriel comes to yell about that -)

(20 – Gabriel, by Shield)

17.  Nick Nemeth

So – see where we are.  The Shield on one side of the ring, Sandow/Sheamus on the other, and Nemeth, the de facto leader entering – Sheamus and Nemeth get right up into the Shield, screaming right into their faces, taking advantage is Pac (19 – Sandow, by Pac).  Regal gets on the apron at that point, just furious – pointing at Pac.  That rallies the troops. (18 – Pac, by Underground)

18.  Chris Jericho

Let’s talk Jericho.  He moved from Y2J to JerichoDark (like Raven) to The Lizard King (strung out Jim Morrison) to The Champ (the suit wearing recent incarnation)

Losing to Danielson at Mania, definitively, to a better, younger man, ends that gimmick.  What comes next?

It’s Jericho’s first appearance since Mania, and he comes to the ring in the suit, looking like he hasn’t taken it off since Mania.  Shirt untucked, tie undone. He’s got a thousand yard stare and just wanders into the ring, taking his entire two minute period to get to ringside.

19.  Zach Ryder

Ryder is right behind Jericho by the time he gets to the ring, he sneaks, he looks to wait until Jericho steps in before throwing him out. Ryder's walking right behind; Jericho seems to have no idea where he is, but when he steps into the ring, and Ryder then immediately gets in, throwing a clothesline designed to catch Jericho – Jericho drops to the mat (ideally, not looking like he’s avoiding Ryder, looking like he’s just falling down at exactly the right time) and the momentum propels Ryder back over the ropes. (17-Ryder, himself)

Jericho stays on the mat, curls up, he may be asleep.  Once they eliminated Pac, the Shield tried then to take out both Sheamus and Nemeth –that coup was unsuccessful and led to a full brawl, Underground exploding into a full on brawl, so they missed the entire Jericho scene – but the four men come to a dead stop when the next music hits.   

20.  CM Punk (w/Steamboat)

The four members of Underground ready, planting themselves in the ring – Jericho is asleep, Punk loves it, broad smile, he points at Heyman as he gets to ringside (JR/Joey/Heyman all on the announce, Heyman has had to eat it from his colleagues in the aftermath of Mania; Paul has not taken it with good humor and he stops talking completely as Punk enters – also at ringside is Danielson, the champ always watches the Battle Royal; Steamboat, of course, has his now customary white towel over his shoulder as he walks down the aisle). Punk briefly jaws with Regal on the outside, pointing at the four guys in the ring “just 4 on 1, Steve – you don’t have enough meat”.  Punk enters, waves Underground over and they pounce. 

21.  Chris Hero

It’s just 4:1 for like 30 seconds, Hero is next and he sprints to the ring to make it 4 on 2.  Jericho sleeps. 

22.  Roman Reigns Uso

Reigns, whom we saw at Mania, makes his way slowly to the ring – steps in and joins GDI, going in hard after the Shield, allowing Hero/Punk to focus on Nemeth/Sheamus. Jericho sleeps.

23.  John Cena

Cena goes right after Punk, they brawl; Hero looks like he’s about to go, and that causes the Shield to join Nemeth/Sheamus – Reigns joins too, as Hero nears extinction.  Jericho sleeps.

24.  Claudio Castagnoli

Claudio comes in hot to save his partner, everyone eats uppercuts; the Kings are able to gain an advantage on The Shield, and when each man is about to go – Nemeth and Sheamus aid in the elimination (16 –Ambrose, 15-Black, by KOW and Nemeth/Sheamus). The Shield ignores Regal as they exit. 

25.  Ryback

Now we see everyone paired off.  It’s a Couples Skate.  Ryback and Reigns.  Cena and Punk. Claudio and Nemeth.  Hero and Sheamus.  Jericho now stands and starts wandering around the ring. 

26.  Randy Orton

Orton hits the ring and is instantly tossed out by Jericho, who then falls back to the canvas, seemingly asleep.  Orton’s disbelieving (14) - he didn't even notice Jericho, who knew Jericho was even in the goddamn battle royal.  Where the hell is Cody - how did Defiance wind up entirely out of Summer Slam?

27.  Santino

Santino, with his superconfidence when he hits the ring, joins Ryback and the two eliminate Reigns (13)

Ryback then punishes Santino for several minutes. 

28.  Titus O’Neill

From TPPTPTP (TPPTPTP Featuring Titus O'Neill TPPTPTPFTON, that's the step they take just before they break up and feud, remind me of that in a year)– he enters and takes a quick shot from Ryback, Sheamus and Nemeth battle the Kings, Punk v. Cena, Jericho is sleep.  10 in the ring, 2 left. 

29.  The Miz

Miz comes in and starts stomping on Jericho – stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp – just really stomping out what appears to be a defenseless Jericho – Ryback is just about to push O’Neill out…who is number 30?

30.  Rey Mysterio

The legendary Mysterio returns – he enters with a highspot that gets Ryback off of O’Neill, and the two of them, with help of Santino, eliminate the big man (12 Ryback), Santino looks to celebrate, but Mysterio and O’Neill toss him out (11), Miz sees the advantage and leaves Jericho to push out O’Neill (10 – and that means that everyone left should either be in the IC tournament or taking on Danielson….he says, note, …should be…) and even though Jericho looked to not even be aware, not even conscious of the stomping he was taking by Miz, he pops up when Miz is unaware and throws him over the top rope (9)….Punk wins his battle with Cena (8)…

7 men left.

The two triple crown winners, Jericho and Mysterio, go nose to nose. 

The 3 members of GDI, Punk/Hero/Claudio go nose to nose with the two members of Underground, Nemeth/Sheamus.  Everything pauses for a moment, we let the anticipation build – and then everyone starts throwing hands – except Punk who makes a beeline for the Jericho/Rey pairing and clotheslines each of them over the top (7) Jericho (6) Rey

Punk has eliminated both triple crown winners and points at Heyman, who, much like at Mania, has removed his headset and is now standing up. 

While Punk does that, (5) Hero, by Nemeth, (4) Claudio, by Sheamus.

And just like that, it’s 2 on 1.

The sequence is as long as TV time allows, it’s the standard two heels/one babyface finish – against all odds, Punk beats them (3) Nemeth (2) Sheamus.

CM Punk has won the Battle Royal.  CM Punk is the first ever two time winner.  CM Punk – as everyone now fully realizes, is the number one contender for Bryan Danielson’s WWF Championship.  It's all happening.

But it's not. 

 Heyman starts to clap.  A sarcastic clap.  Clap.  Clap. 

 Because he knows what’s coming.  And probably you do too.

Brock Lesnar’s music hits.
And the former UFC Champion emerges. 

He hits the ring, he double legs Punk, he busts him open hardway, he F5s him and he tosses him over the top rope.

Crowd reacts as it does – Heyman laughs and laughs – Steamboat goes to Punk’s aid – and Danielson, at ringside, stands, maybe a little stunned as he sees that monster, that undeniable freak of nature Brock Lesnar, in the WWF ring. 

What will happen?  See you in July for a fairly brief conclusion to the Road to Summer Slam 2012.